Backhanded Compliments... What's your worst?!

Amusingly enough, Googling "backhanded compliment" will lead you to the Wikipedia page for "Insult". So, with that in mind, here's a spotter's guide to the most common sorts of backhanded compliments (please feel free to add your "favourites").

The "compliment" that has a go at you

"Whoa, haircut? Your hair looks so good now!" "You look great, did you lose weight?" These 'compliments' are designed specifically to remind you that while you might look good today, you are usually about as attractive as a pube-laced bar of home-brand soap. Also, some quick translations: "confident"/"brave"/"ambitious"/"feisty" = "bitchy"/"wearing something too small"/"bossy"/"annoying"

The "compliment" that has a go at everyone else

Closely related to the previous variety, these are the "You look amazing for your size" (... everyone else looks like blancmanges) and "I don't usually like that hair style /makeup/facial hair, it looks great on you!" (...everybody else is a nightmarish circus freak).

The racist microaggression disguised as a "compliment"

Last year, Celeste Liddle memorably wrote about the notorious 'compliment' "you're too pretty to be Aboriginal"; other reported 'classics' include clangers like "You're hot for an Asian", "You have such pretty hair for a Black woman" and "Wow, your English is really good!". In addition to being idiots, these compliment-givers are racists. If you are a white person who observes such idiocy, use your privilege to step in and ask the 'compliment'-giver, "What do you mean by that?" Or tip a kitty litter tray on their head, whichever is more convenient.

The "compliment" that betrays the compliment-giver's sexism

These ones tend to come from unreconstructed older males (though not always): "You drive really well for a woman!", "I've never met a female [insert job title here] before, good for you!" and so on.

The mind-boggler

These are the backhanded compliments that are a combination of all of the above, but laced with such a profound level of insensitivity-bordering-on-inhumanity that all you can do is pause and wonder if you in fact imagined them. "She's too pretty/he's too handsome to cheat on!" is one that celebrity (and often, pleb) breakups are met with, the implication being "if she/he were ugly, on the other hand...".

Copied and pasted from a Daily Life article by Clem Bastow??_ What are your best examples?


I once had a flatmate tell me that my (wild, curly, long) hair didn't suit me as I was so nice and normal??_ :\ I mean, was she having a go at my crazy hair, or the fact that I was boring??

hehe- I just remembered one of the worst I delivered and still get teased about!!!

One of my friends is a bit of a square girl and this was about 8-10 years ago when there were all those big thick waist belts in stores?
We were shopping for outfits for a wedding and I handed her a belt and said
"you should wear a belt... it'll give you the illusion of a waist"

Immediate massive cringe and untold amount of teasing came my way- thankfully my friends have a good sense of humour and I took the punishment I so truly deserved!!!

I love the misogynist ones- one of my exe's told me I was the most logical woman he'd ever come across... like it was the biggest revelation!

I actually laughed at him for that one!

Haha- PP I bet you've had your share of stereotyping!!! Come on... 😛

i.e. You're not at all bitchy and high maintenance for a gay guy et al

Well, mine given out:"That is a very bright shirt. How long of an extension cord do you need to bring with it?"

Posted by MissFisk

Posted by CancerOnTheCusp
Well, mine given out:"That is a very bright shirt. How long of an extension cord do you need to bring with
it?"

LOL That's not even a compliment. That's just a straight crack.

click to expand

Yeah. I don't do well at the backhanded thing. That's about as good as I get.

if i told the threadstarter that she has nice dick sucking lips,would that be backhanded?