Hate Crush

A hate crush occurs when someone irritates you so much that you become obsessed with him or her. You fantasize about bad things happening to them — a crush to the other extreme. Since love and hate are the eternal rocking chair, this is the person you love to hate. Women, more than men, tend to form hate crushes. Why? Physiologically, women have a deeper limbic system in the brain which makes them feel things more intensely. Also, women are more relationship-oriented as they are the gender who tends and befriends. Put these two attributes together and add to the mix a woman who:

* Was perfect in high school, never gave you the time of day, but now is not doing so well
* Gets the credit for what you really accomplish at work
* Is always in your face trying to do one better than you
* Stole your best friend after you invited her to socialize with the two of you
* Preceded you in your boyfriend's or husband's heart

Your symptoms
You are obsessed with this person who really bothers you. You can't help but read her blog on Facebook/ Twitter. When you run into her, and sometimes you look for opportunities to run into her, your pulse races. You can hear your heartbeat pounding in your head. You pray for her downfall and plot to outshine her.

How to get over it
* Go the other direction in your fantasy and change that movie playing in your head. Cut this person some slack to reinterpret her so-called transgression with compassion. Write a letter forgiving her — even if you never send it.
* If you can keep your distance, both physically and on line, do it: out of sight, out of mind. Wean yourself away.
* The proportion that you hate her is a pretty reliable barometer that you don't like yourself very much. Whatever you hate about her, shore up that weakness in yourself. No one can trivialize you unless you give this person the power to do it.
* Get involved in activities you enjoy because when you are feeling down, your hate crush will occupy your mind.

source: http://www.examiner.com/x-2211-Self-Help-Examiner~y2009m6d21-How-to-get-over-a-hate-crush

this was the topic on tyra. i didn't watch the show but i caught the tale end of it while flipping channels.

i'm the victim of hate crushes...it's usually petty and out of nowhere. not easy to resolve when it's not based in reality. i think that's why it's a "hate crush." crush implies fantasy right?

"Your symptoms
You are obsessed with this person who really bothers you. You can't help but read her blog on Facebook/ Twitter."

LMAO!

how do you fantasize about a guy you hate? you mean like an ex that you hate now?

i prefer oprah. especially given it's her last season for the oprah show as we know it.

Posted by jade_dragon

Posted by tubbyscubby
LMAO!

how do you fantasize about a guy you hate? you mean like an ex that you hate now?

Ewww, I don't fantasize about any of my exes....don't really hate any of them either.....

Nah, it's this douche that I work with- an arrogant Aries, lol....

He's such a dipshit, but damn- he is so fine!!! Tall, athletic, dark hair/eyes....

i fantasize about handcuffing him to a bed, having my way with him, and then leaving him there, chained to said bed.

Wihout the keys....

fuck me.

😛

click to expand

LMAO!! I LOVE YOU JADE!!!

lmao @ jade. that does sound extremely hot. tackle him and do him in the coat closet. it's not like he'd file a sexual harassment claim.

and prince, i'm sure they're just jealous of your fabulous hair.

my question is, what is the goal of a hate crush?

if you have a love crush, i imagine that it's sorta like the movie sixteen candles. you're fantasizing about jake taking you to the dance and it ends with you sitting on a dining room table kissing over a lit cake.

with a hate crush, do you fantasize about standing over the person's grave...with fireworks instead of candles?

whatever do you mean toc?

i am merely posting what i saw before tyra went off today.

Posted by jade_dragon

Posted by tubbyscubby
LMAO!

how do you fantasize about a guy you hate? you mean like an ex that you hate now?

Ewww, I don't fantasize about any of my exes....don't really hate any of them either.....

Nah, it's this douche that I work with- an arrogant Aries, lol....

He's such a dipshit, but damn- he is so fine!!! Tall, athletic, dark hair/eyes....

i fantasize about handcuffing him to a bed, having my way with him, and then leaving him there, chained to said bed.

Wihout the keys....

fuck me.

😛

click to expand

oh man i used to have one of these with a scorp long ago. we would say the most horrible things to one another. we had mutual friends so we would see each other. then one day, after exchanging hateful words we spontaneously started making out then had some really exciting sex. it was a one time thing and not really expected, but honestly it was pretty hot.

hmm...ok, i am wanting a man to hate crush right now. that sounds stellar 😄

i tend to get along pretty well with guys and generally if one is picking at me, he's flirting. i can't imagine LOATHING someone i was actually attracted to. in fact, if i hated them, i wouldn't want to be around them. would be more likely to freeze them out i can't stand when people i can't stand speak to me. forcing me to say "hi" and shit.

i wouldn't say its a common occurrence for me, but he was fine as all hell. it wasn't even a personality conflict really, we just loved to hate each other and say incredibly mean things. some of the most foul things would come out of our mouths. for christmas he made me a song about how much he hated me. turned out all the hate was just sexual tension.

well my family used to call me hateful because i REFUSED to speak to people i loathe or want nothing to do with. frustrating when my friends don't have issues with the folks and then it's always an odd dance of ignoring/avoiding speaking to them without actually being rude. either way, they never get a full hi/hey/hello. more of a "ehm" sound.

needless to say, a lot of people think i'm a bitch.

correction, a lot of chicks do. i rarely, if ever, have problems with dudes. men are so much cooler.

i used to like jolie...before she became famous. i loved her in gia. her lips were cool then. now she makes me want to run up to her with a tub of vaseline.

plus, i too considered adopting a child outside of the US. was YEARS ago and was on this forum for US parents who had foreign adoptions. there was this FAQ section and i swear that there were like 10 most asked questions.

one of the most asked was, "why does my baby's bowel movements smell so horrrible? it permeates the entire house."

the poop stories that followed sorta demystified me a bit. might still do it one day...after i have my own of course.

oh jinx!

Posted by jade_dragon

I think maybe it's because my hate crush is an Aries, and I am usually both drawn to AND repulsed by them (Aries men).

AGREED! they make you want to punch them then hug them afterward.

and brad is looking a bit elderly himself.

@TOC, dunno. i can't remember what countries i was looking into then. but basically, most foreign children obviously come with issues. one of them is worms. i forgot what the cause was but seriously, the poop stories were scary. i'd definitely need an au pair to change the diapers...outside.

oh skuddles, you are cruisin for a bruisin. i agree but i think you may have just lit the wick.

**that's my job!✨*

the only other time a person e-hate crushed me was a chick that i semi did business with. i had the audacity to contradict some advice she gave on a few occasions and she gradually came to hate me for it.

it was totally out of the blue and what it boiled down to was she was getting pissed that others were taking my advice instead of hers. i wasn't trying to steal her thunder though. it was an advice forum and PLENTY of people gave contradictory advice. she just somehow latched onto me...like mold.

she harassed me via email for a while until i blocked her.

hell, that crazed heffer might STILL be sending *i hate you bitch* emails for posterity's sake.

jade it's too easy. yes, i am aware that i make not-so veiled jabs in her direction. i'm not playing innocent.

point is, it doesn't matter what you do when someone hate-crushes you. they will keep coming and coming and coming and ignoring them doesn't work. remember, they hate you for being you. so by being yourself, you only add fuel to their loathing. the only way to stop it is to disappear or to not be yourself.

she is not going to intimidate me as she obviously has many of you. i will still do me...and destroy her in the process without even trying.

HOW do i destroy her? look at her posts. she's so focused on hating me that she's not even realizing when she's being baited. that's what happens when a nut is about to crack.

so even if i attempted to drop it, she won't have that and since she won't have it, i detach and do what i wouldn't normally do in real life and that's feed the bear.

ian, the thread is about hate-crushes and as always, we're relating them to life, real and imagined.

*whistles and looks around*

jade what? that i'm passive aggressive and AWESOME!

it'll stop when she stops. same with the other one. she's learned to stop running behind me on threads and for that, she will now be rewarded. she is no longer feral.

oh but i am

*bats eyes innocently*

take me as i am. you either like me or you don't. and if you don't, guaranteed, it's cause i don't give a shit, you know i don't give a shit and you desperately want me to.

my friends like me because i'm real, all day, everyday. that doesn't mean i'm always nice 😉

nope, eastern promises here. and maybe it is a bi-coastal difference because i've had friends who moved to cali for one reason or another and HATED it! a few ended up moving to NY and it was like hand-in-glove.

there's something about being able to turn to someone and say, "you know you're full of shit right?" with a straight face and have them in turn say, "yeah."

oh, i don't mind people i don't like talking about me behind my back. why would that bother anyone?

chances are, you know they're fake and a backstabber and if you like real folk, you probably won't like them...or associate with them. so if a bunch of haters hate me, talk shit about me and smile in my face, that's perfect!

they don't know me say whatever they're saying is a big ball of bull's shit anyway. lies don't need to be refuted. truth stands on its own and so do i. i'd trade TOC for 500 profile views. she means NOTHING to me and i mean nothing to her. she's a hateful bitch like that.

^they dont know me so 😛

it's not a secret if you know about it.

seriously, if it's all lies, who cares what other people think? and once more, who cares if the people being told the lies believe? obviously that person is no friend of mine either. and if you can allow someone else to poison your opinion of someone you don't know, then they're a loser too.

i TRY to judge people as individuals. rarely have i ever allowed someone else to make me hate someone just because so-and-so did this-that.

i have an aqua friend that my roommate way back when hated. my roomy is an aqua-pisces "cusp." i say she's an aqua. anyhoo, the hated aqua chick was the coolest mofo on the planet. real as shit. i never could figure out why folks hated her because we were so much alike. we could do the same shit and people would be like, i hate that bitch. and when i'd point out that i did it with her, they'd say, but yeah, i know you though.

HA!

TOC WHATevah! i used commas, periods, ellipsis and there might've even been a question mark.

this is where taurean skiddishness is a good thing.

TRUST NO ONE! i don't care how friendly they seem, i will need a blood sample and 3 references signed by a notary before you are even considered an associate.

Posted by tubbyscubby
this is where taurean skiddishness is a good thing.

TRUST NO ONE! i don't care how friendly they seem, i will need a blood sample and 3 references signed by a notary before you are even considered an associate.

That can be arranged. Do you take stool samples too? Ooh! Oooh! Retina scans!!!! Think about it!

and this conversation is why men are better friends than women.

1. you know they want to sleep with you
2. you know they will eventually try to sleep with you
3. you know they prefer balls-out to dressed up
4. you know they hate talking on the phone and idle chatter

PURR-fect

i want an e-gang. we'd be like the jets. i wanna do the snapping and dancing and everything.

and dk09, poop samples are taken once you become friend eligible.

TOC, i can tell you now that your references won't be up to par. but we'll keep your application on file for 90 days and if a position becomes available, we'll contact you kay?

Posted by tubbyscubby
i want an e-gang. we'd be like the jets. i wanna do the snapping and dancing and everything.

and dk09, poop samples are taken once you become friend eligible.

How many tests do I have to go through? I'll smoke the competition. I'd friend you so hard! So hard! So, so hard!

lol

canadians are too pale. together we'd look like human salt and pepper shakers. not good.

Posted by TasteOfChaos

Posted by tubbyscubby
TOC, i can tell you now that your references won't be up to par. but we'll keep your application on file for 90 days and if a position becomes available, we'll contact you kay?

take me as I am... or go fuck yourself!

click to expand

see, you'd get written up before you even got hired.

LMAO! Pale? I'm nowhere near pale!

Posted by jade_dragon

Posted by tubbyscubby
lol

canadians are too pale. together we'd look like human salt and pepper shakers. not good.

hhahahaaaa!!

yes, we are pale.....

We're like the pasty side of the candycane. but much sweeter!!!!

😛

click to expand

yep. canadians are the salt of the earth. literally.

Hahahaha! Crap isn't pale hahahaha! Who says that? hahaha!

unfortunately, all this talk of poop hasn't ruined my appetite. i gotta go eat.

and yes, i have pooped yellow chunks before. i was on vacation and was drinking everyday, all day. too much alcohol can make your poop yellow. when i saw it, it scared the crap out of me.

har har har...

ok must eat...surprisingly

Ethanol and vaseline. That's how I do it anyway.

i dunno. everything?

was a blur really. i do remember the poop though...oddly enough.

ok, might be on later TOC

Posted by FeistyAquarian
http://photobucket.com/images/old% 20man% 20dance" target="_blank">

This weird little dude loves dancing.

So Aqua, hahahaha!

I'm guessing a hate-crush is when somebody wanting to control another person whom they are instantly attracted toward, but they find out that their affection is only a mere sexual desire from the person, but they decide to rather lie to themselves and start building an idea of this person with euphomisms that they know they dislike the person to an extreme, they can't help the intensity between the shallow relationship...

An easier word is "crystalization": Building an image on somebody who doesn't fit the description and attempting to morph them into this set image.

Posted by Awake
I think this is a woman thing Tubby! I cant recall hate-crushing on any guys lol

agreed! heterosexual men are just way too cool to be this petty...unless you're talking about a stalker/abuser.

a stalker/abuser might end up hate-crushing on any man that a woman talks to and end up harassing the hell out of someone as a result.

it's the high fructose corn syrup that's driving you batty awake. just say no!

I stalk people, I always keep a stash of candy in my van 😛

I dont call it stalking.... I call it investigating. 😄

Posted by TasteOfChaos
Exactly Leo Lady... I also like to call it research! 😛

Yeppers! I tell ya, in today's day and age and the popularity of the internet, one can never be sure. Ive become pretty good at it. But, then again, I was a real estate agent and we learn some pretty sneaky ways to find things out about people. Ive never met anyone on the net that I havent been able to gather at least their legal name, date of birth, and address. But I only do it with people I am actually considering meeting. I had a guy e-stalking me once and I pulled something similar to what Ian did and he suddenly vanished into thin air. It made me smile. Some fuckers are so stupid!