I Understand Now Why Some Women..

Hate working in all female offices.

A long time ago I used to think when some women complained about working with only women it was over petty things. In fact,my first ever supervisor was female and was a great one. So I had a hard time understanding it.

But in the past 5 years especially working in all female environment offices, now I understand where these women were coming from.

This is a little of a vent but just wondering if anyone else deals with this bs.

Some background on me, when I show up to work, Im a professional. I'm friendly, but I dont flirt, never dated any co-workers, basically I mind my own business.

You would think that would be enough to avoid drama, but nope.

The thing I have come across the most is the overall passive aggressive backstabbing vibe that comes in the office. For whatever reason I have come across these situations where even though I am not a supervisor and try to come off friendly and approachable, I have had female co-workers go behind my back to the supervisor about petty crap.

1st situation this happened is where I made a joke regarding a customer that was lying to us by posing as her late mother who was a client of ours on the phone to get a replacement unit. We caught her redhanded and when i got off the phone while everyone else was off, I made a crack about her getting sudden alzheimer's about who she was due to her posing as her late mother.

Flash forward to 2 days later. i have a meeting with supervisor who said someone complained to her about me making an alzheimer's joke. I found out through someone else it was this girl in our office and her relative had alzheimer's.

I understand where she is coming from but she could have just come to me and say "i take offense to that joke can you please be more mindful of what you say?

If she had done that and if I had done it again, then she would be justified in going to our boss.

But she is a regular troublemaker though, she went to human resources on another girl in our office regarding another joking comment.

Then I had another situation where when i had a angry patient screaming in my ear and would not let me get a word in at all with trying to help them. Bear in mind my other co-workers deal with this too. So out of frustration out of her not listening to me i pounded the desk in frustration.

A day later, I had a meeting with a supervisor about me doing this Bare in mind I have another female co-worker who has also pounded her desk in frustration when she Is dealing with a crazy patient on a consistent basis but never gets talked to.

Why cant these people just be direct and come to me with their irritation? I am not a supervisor and have no power so there is no intimidation going on.

I've encountered so much of this passive aggressive behavior in other situations at work and it is always an all female environment Bare in mind Santa Barbara has more women then men so that is why there is this ratio.

I'm not saying backhanded bs doesnt happen in a mixed office where there are an equal amount of women and men. But I have never seen it happen in a mixed office setting.

Im sorry I didnt take girls who complained about working with all girls more seriously. But now I know and totally get where they are coming from now. All female office is a definite real life version of Gossip Girl.

It's happened in non call center jobs too.

Ex: There was this girl I worked with who seemed really cool. Great sense of humor and was good at being self-deprecating. She seemed comfortable enough where you could make mild jokes with her

One day she was walking slow seemed down. I asked her if everything was ok and she asked me why. I told her because she was walking like eeyore from winnie the pooh. She said everything was fine but had an injured leg from playing sports.

I think everything is fine. But a week later she made up a lie saying I left food in the work kitchen out and I get talked to by a supervisor.

It's a total lie because at that time I always ate out of the office at 2 different restaurants and never brought any food back. i explained this to the supervisor who is female and told her I had a witness because they ate with me the day this girl was complaining about.

Supervisor didnt believe me and said this was a warning, the next will be a write up.

I've learned to be quiet and not trust women as far working with them. Because they can be petty and fake stabbing you in the back at any point. I know not all women are like this in the workplace. But you honestly never know what type of person you are working with. And because of that I am anti-social at work now.

Yup, I completely understand... work in a female dominated industry and I do try to avoid female bosses as well, because of the pettiness and crazy biotches 😜

I honestly feel you on this one!! I work in a hairdressers, I admit its a lot better now and were like a family, but there use to be people that worked there who were so bitchy and backstabbing, it got to the point where I couldn't just shrug it off and ignore it anymore, so I just called them out on their bitching and said I'm not interested in what they have to say, and if they had any problems with anyone or me then tell us directly instead of whining and bitching!

I could honestly write a list of the pettiest and unbelievable shit that has happened but I would be here a long time 😂

So yeah I can relate to your sort of situation. If you haven't already, just tell them straight , I know it can be awkward because you don't want to create a bad or worse atmosphere but unless something is said then it'll probably build up and get worse!

I hope it gets better for you though

THANK YOU ALL!!! God, I was beginning to think I am the only besides my roommate who deals with this daily bs.

I have no problem working with women if we are in a mixed office. But for some reason in a all female office women jump out and create drama.

Even when those of us are quiet and keep to themselves. It really stinks being antisocial with women at my work since there are a couple of girls who seem genuine good people.

But i have been fooled before by that and cant take a chance again

@arielle83 - I can believe it. I love that movie as well. Sigourney Weaver was hot when she was younger.

Found out she was a libra, and I laughed out loud.

I'll give you another bad experience that has made me not talk to women at work.

A couple of years ago I was working for an electric company. it was a really nie office. I got on well with everyone there. Talked to everyone on a daily basis.

There was this girl I worked with seemed nice. She one day mentioned a band she listen to that I liked as well. i love talking to other people about mutual favorite artists as well as music be it male or female.

So during breaks I was continuing the conversation. And then she gave me a vibe like she felt i was hitting on her and was being icy.

I immediately caught that sign and stopped talking to her. From that point on for the next few weeks other than a hello, I ignored her and talked to everyone else

She apparently took a hint that i wasnt trying to date her and started being nice to me again and initiate conversation.

I just want to scream to women at work that if a guys is friendly to EVERYONE and only makes friendly conversation at all times, he is not trying to bang you. God...

Idk I think it’s a bit of an unfair generalization to say that’s just how women operate when you yourself are a woman and don’t appreciate this behavior...as well as the women responding here...

As a woman, I’ve personally never gone to my boss about an issue with a coworker because it’s childish to tattle...adults handle their business...they don’t run to their supervisor and snitch.

& I work with all women and it’s a generally supportive environment. There really isn’t much back biting or gossip 🤷🏼‍♀️

Not saying it doesn’t happen just saying it has more to do with personalities than with gender ratio

Wow you live in santa barbara, what a dream. Gorgeous there, crazy expensive too.

You own or rent or inherited property?

As far as the thread. No this isn't a woman thing, this is a passive aggressive thing.

I am the go between/peace keeper for the boss man, his employees, and our contractors. He has me do all the firing and hiring.

If there is a simple, and I mean simple, message he needs me to deliver it. Case in point he comes in the other day and sees my irrigation drafter watching got. Instead of asking and finding out dude is on his lunch, he gets bent out of shape, stews, and then comes to me to bitch. So I pull drafter to the side, ok cool no harm no foul, do whatever you want on your lunch. Talk to boss man, ok we are all good.

But literally 20 mins of my life I will never get back lmao

Posted by Plague

Sounds like you work in a call center?

That's a call center for you if so.

I've always had issues with females having issues with me. I've just expected it. Usually the issues subside after I converse with them. If not it's because they're an insecure hoe or they have permanent anal beads.

Permanent anal beads 🤣🤣😂😂😂

@ladyneptune-

I live with 2 roommates and have been for the past 3 years.

But it is getting old and I am trying to find my own place. But if I dont by mid may I am leaving SB around June.

Its going to be hard to leave as sb is beautiful and safe provided you are away from downtown area.

But the dating scene here of being forced to date women in early 20's is not something I dont want to deal with anymore. i realize a single women in her 30's without kids is needle in a haystack territory here but i think there are better ratios for that elsewhere. And if not, then at least a gal that is very late 20's.

I am talking just from my experience as well as my roommate who works in an all female environment as well since he is a care giver for a company.

In my experience of working in mixed or male dominated offices I've never had to deal with passive aggressive behavior like this.

The past 5 years I have worked in all female offices and it is always the same pattern of abusive behavior.

My roommate's male co-worker was accused of sexual harrassment one day by a female co-worker one day. And my roommate witnessed it and told me there was no flirting on his male co-workers end, and was professional.

The female who accused the guy was interested in him prior but he is taken and he told her that.

Because her mother owns the caregiving company she went to her and explained the incident my roommate witnessed.

Her mother contacted my roommate and asked him what happened since he is a witness to the incident And he told her nothing happened.

The guy still got fired. As much as legit sexual harrassment happens in the work place, you also have opportunists who take advantage of that as well.

Im scared to have more than a one minute conversation with a woman at work by myself ,as i dont know if i may say something that bothers her and she goes behind my back to a manager instead of politely making me aware.

You cant believe a guy for being antisocial at work nowadays..

@ariesbee-

I see women in sb hit on men even after they found out he has a girlfriend.

LA County? Yecch, lived in that area for 2 and a half years. Hated it.

I love SB but am tired of living with 2 roommates instead of just one at least.

It's gonna be hard to leave as SB is wonderful to live. But it's more to live after you are in a long term relationship.

Because dating here is for the pits. Only single gals here are up to 23. And sorry, just no to the no on that.

I dont have problems dating 20 somethings as long as they are at least 26.

Early 20's are too uncertain and still figuring things out.

@ariesbee-

Not older just age appropriate lol. Im in my late 30's and I feel skeeved out dating anyone under 25.

I dont have an issue with a casual fling with an early 20's as long as the girl a) knows that is all it is ever going to be and b) has a comfortableness with sex (not frigid, high libido)

Santa Barbara is great for dating with guys who are in their 20's to 30 years old. But late 30's is when it looks creepy seriously dating a girl that is 21.

Have no apologies for just screwing as long as the girl is 21 and up. I have the philosophy if she is old enough to drink, shes old enough to think.

But late 20's like 27-29 I could maybe get serious with depending on the girl and her background



I love SB and am going to miss it. But SB is for when you have a long term relationship so you can live nicely and quietly,



Sb doesnt have it where i can date someone age appropriate and since the town only has early 20's women.



But I could never live in LA or LA County again. Just no way, nope, nope...

1st situation this happened is where I made a joke regarding a customer that was lying to us by posing as her late mother who was a client of ours on the phone to get a replacement unit. We caught her redhanded and when i got off the phone while everyone else was off, I made a crack about her getting sudden alzheimer's about who she was due to her posing as her late mother.

Flash forward to 2 days later. i have a meeting with supervisor who said someone complained to her about me making an alzheimer's joke. I found out through someone else it was this girl in our office and her relative had alzheimer's.

I'll take this one. Ya'll need training. I work for the Army. We've learned through numerous training that if I get offended when it's a three party (two people talking and I am said third person (OR I hear this myself); I may enter the room, I may be part of the conversation, etc.) I should IMMEDIATELY put a stop to it by talking to the person (doing the talking). If we separate and I don't approach her/him, then it's too late. I would have mentioned this to your supervisor and informed him, "Even though I mentioned what I mentioned do you agree with me she should have approached me right away about it? Why am I hearing about this now? (from two days ago). Are you reprimanding me? How do you want me to approach this for future reference? (As I don't want to be called 10 times a year again). I know you're just as busy as I am, but come on! I don't have a crystal ball to determine an employee having a family member, of which, I did NOT call by name, who also has Alzheimer's disease."

Enough said.

🤗 cyber hugs!

Love,

Eva