If your SO had a history with prostitutes ?

Let us get straight to the point.

If your SO used to pay for sex, in countries where it was illegal. To then have no remorse or guilt over it, knowing he could have contributed to human trafficking, slavery, etc. Completely aware that it may not have been consensual. If and when given the choice, in the same predicament, that he would do it again without hesitation. To have the view that, sex was a need, and to go without it was wrong. No matter the situation, if it could be bought, it should be had. Especially, when you could pick and choose exactly what you wanted, given that it required heftier payments.

- Would it affect the relationship, and how you view him (especially if it contradicts with his personality when he is with you) ?

- Would it create conflict within you, and would it cause you to look out for other red flags ?

If it would affect you negatively ... how would you overcome it, or would you leave him and move on ?

I once read a funny quote, and it went a lot like this.

"Prostitutes are the most honest women you will ever encounter."

It seems that you are looking down on a prostitute for doing what she does, but most women are prostitutes when you start to look at their behavior and motives with men.

Are we talking cracked out street walkers

Or

Private room stripper mouth parties

Or

Backpage escorts?

Posted by PurplePassion38

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Let us get straight to the point.

If your SO used to pay for sex, in countries where it was illegal. To then have no remorse or guilt over it, knowing he could have contributed to human trafficking, slavery, etc. Completely aware that it may not have been consensual. If and when given the choice, in the same predicament, that he would do it again without hesitation. To have the view that, sex was a need, and to go without it was wrong. No matter the situation, if it could be bought, it should be had. Especially, when you could pick and choose exactly what you wanted, given that it required heftier payments.

- Would it affect the relationship, and how you view him (especially if it contradicts with his personality when he is with you) ?

- Would it create conflict within you, and would it cause you to look out for other red flags ?

If it would affect you negatively ... how would you overcome it, or would you leave him and move on ?

Well when you put ot like that, no. Sounds like a glaring character deficit.

click to expand

It was put to me in as sterile a way as that, @PurplePassion38. Very cold and transactional.

Simply wondering how others would have felt if they where on the other end of this conversation. Since I still have not come to a conclusion of my own. 😆

For example, before the stupid #MeToo movement, it was a quiet secret that no female could ever go anywhere in Hollywood/Media/TV/News without sucking and fucking her way through all the dicks in charge.

It was a qualification requirement for countless whores.

Only God knows how many dicks the average Hollywood star had to fuck before she got her first big movie deal.

Posted by Effortless

I once read a funny quote, and it went a lot like this.

"Prostitutes are the most honest women you will ever encounter."

It seems that you are looking down on a prostitute for doing what she does, but most women are prostitutes when you start to look at their behavior and motives with men.

Hmm @Effortless, if a prostitute was paid for in a legal country and it was of her own free will to chose this career. Then I have no issue with it. He would not have exploited anyone, and it would have been consensual.

However, the activities were blatantly taken in a country where it was not legal. Which thereby often makes the prostitute's origins questionable, especially her story and motive. For all we know, that does not make it sex between two consensual parties. It was the money paid, that forced her to have sex with someone she may not even want to be near. There is a power imbalance.

Therefore no, I do not look down on them. It is the matter of consent, and most probable exploitation at play that bothers me.

Posted by LadyNeptune

Are we talking cracked out street walkers

Or

Private room stripper mouth parties

Or

Backpage escorts?

Full package services, @LadyNeptune.

I think every one of those options, besides cracked street walkers. With the addition, of travelling to specific countries in order to find girls in need. Therefore, to 'help' them, money was exchanged for sex. Given, he had no background or understanding as to how those girls came into that predicament. Whether, it be forced, trafficking, poverty, etc.

Posted by tiziani

what do you mean by "completely aware that it may not have been consensual"?

That he had no idea how those prostitutes were in the situation that they were in, such as their background or motive. That if they were not paid money, they never would have touched him with a ten foot pole.

Money forced them to render a service, they may not have been consensual about. Perhaps driven by a third party to complete the services, and bring back the payment.

@tiziani, he did not specify if in every situation he paid the money directly to the prostitute or it was given to the middle man / person in charge of them all.

Posted by tiziani

what do you mean by "completely aware that it may not have been consensual"?

Exactly! Did he raped her? 👀

Posted by Black-Mamba

@effortless we all know you go to thailand to pay for ladyboys

you don't need to convince us you hate women, we got the receipts.

Wrong on so many levels.

Your false accusations are supremely unattractive.

Posted by Kittens

I respect online prostitutes, they are trusted and you can see the testimony and reviews from fellow MGTOWs who refuse to deal with women's bullshit.

He did it not as a MGTOW @Kittens, but because he was insecure about his looks. He felt this was the only way he could get female attention. Also, because he felt sex was a right. If he could not get it casually (which he could not), he would pay for it in this way to get it

He used that excuse to justify, probably exploitation of women.

Instead of spending money on ways to improve his self esteem, he spent it probably fuelling an industry that perpetually uses up people, and spits them out or until they hurt themselves, kill themselves, or die.

Posted by tastemy

Nope.

I am a very understanding person.

Maybe if you went once before I could get over it.

But I had an ex who cheated with escorts so kinda hits a nerve.

Discusts me to be honest.

if you have to pay... then you clearly have a problem or sex addiction

Agreed @tastemy, especially if it was done in a place where it is legal and the prostitutes are not unwillingly forced into the role.

Participated once, felt remorse and guilt. I believe in some ways, it could be thought over, and perhaps worked on enough, the relationship could be repaired / saved.

He went, and paid for prostitutes ... over and over again.

Will continue to do so, if he were ever in a similar predicament again.

Simply wondering if it is wrong of me to feel conflicted. 😐

Posted by Notmyrealname

I wouldn’t be attracted to someone that didn’t care about the other person enjoying having sex with them. I mean it takes all sorts and I think each to their own really but anyone that can treat sex as a commodity or women like vessels to gratification would be unappealing to me. I like sensitive people who are tuned in to others.

Great point @Notmyrealname, this also bothered me. That he felt as casual about it, in regards to objectifying women in a situation where it may not have been mutually consensual. To then also, view women, like meat, pure commodities. To be paid for, used, and cast aside.

Posted by Effortless

Your false accusations are supremely unattractive.

That's just precious, using the "that's unattractive" line on someone's argument when they are a woman. It's like you're convinced we are so invested in being dainty little people pleasers we would be offended you don't find us attractive. Thank fuck you don't, probably can't take no for an answer.

I can't find my words...

Um, bottom feeding loathsome parasite.

There, I got it out.

Posted by Black-Mamba

@effortless we all know you go to thailand to pay for ladyboys

you don't need to convince us you hate women, we got the receipts.

Overseas discount antidepressants.

Posted by GuardianAnu

Posted by Effortless

Your false accusations are supremely unattractive.

That's just precious, using the "that's unattractive" line on someone's argument when they are a woman. It's like you're convinced we are so invested in being dainty little people pleasers we would be offended you don't find us attractive. Thank fuck you don't, probably can't take no for an answer.

click to expand

I missed the part where your opinion is of any value.

Posted by Effortless

Posted by GuardianAnu

Posted by Effortless

Your false accusations are supremely unattractive.

That's just precious, using the "that's unattractive" line on someone's argument when they are a woman. It's like you're convinced we are so invested in being dainty little people pleasers we would be offended you don't find us attractive. Thank fuck you don't, probably can't take no for an answer.

I missed the part where your opinion is of any value.

click to expand

Preciooouus.

If it's absolutely clear that the person knew that they were contributing to that, or they didn't know at the time but now they do, and they don't care and they would gladly do it again knowing it, then I would say goodbye to them without hesitation and do a lot of self analysis about why I didn't pick up on the lack of humanity in them before that came out. I make no exceptions for a show of lack of conscience to that degree. None.

Posted by Notmyrealname

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Notmyrealname

I wouldn’t be attracted to someone that didn’t care about the other person enjoying having sex with them. I mean it takes all sorts and I think each to their own really but anyone that can treat sex as a commodity or women like vessels to gratification would be unappealing to me. I like sensitive people who are tuned in to others.

Great point @Notmyrealname, this also bothered me. That he felt as casual about it, in regards to objectifying women in a situation where it may not have been mutually consensual. To then also, view women, like meat, pure commodities. To be paid for, used, and cast aside.

Yeah totally! Like this oblivious, sort of callous apathy... bit sinister for me, def not attractive!😬

click to expand

I am still digesting the fact that the man I knew and the side of him that has that callous apathy. I even asked him if the sensitive, gentle, and empathetic soul that he is when he was with me. If it had died when he participated in such activities in the past.

I respect his honesty, to trust me and be that open to share all of it. For all I know, he could have carried it into his grave and never have told me. However, it is a hard decision to make. To coincidence another part of someone you thought never existed.

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Notmyrealname

I wouldn’t be attracted to someone that didn’t care about the other person enjoying having sex with them. I mean it takes all sorts and I think each to their own really but anyone that can treat sex as a commodity or women like vessels to gratification would be unappealing to me. I like sensitive people who are tuned in to others.

Great point @Notmyrealname, this also bothered me. That he felt as casual about it, in regards to objectifying women in a situation where it may not have been mutually consensual. To then also, view women, like meat, pure commodities. To be paid for, used, and cast aside.

click to expand

Total turn off

Wouldn't touch him with a barge pole, especially as I've never slept around

You dating this guy, Lady?

Is this the Aries guy, Lady?

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Let us get straight to the point.

If your SO used to pay for sex, in countries where it was illegal. To then have no remorse or guilt over it, knowing he could have contributed to human trafficking, slavery, etc. Completely aware that it may not have been consensual. If and when given the choice, in the same predicament, that he would do it again without hesitation. To have the view that, sex was a need, and to go without it was wrong. No matter the situation, if it could be bought, it should be had. Especially, when you could pick and choose exactly what you wanted, given that it required heftier payments.

- Would it affect the relationship, and how you view him (especially if it contradicts with his personality when he is with you) ?

- Would it create conflict within you, and would it cause you to look out for other red flags ?

If it would affect you negatively ... how would you overcome it, or would you leave him and move on ?

I would not be turned off by the fact, but I would be turned off him talking about it to me

i mean, do I really need to know about all your past sexual adventures? in detail?

I think we need to know how you know this? if he is your SO (or is it on bahalf of your friend?)

I mean, if he is feeding you stories like this, you are a friend and not a SO? imho

why at all came this up between you?

it seems you have merged two questions into one, so I think:

1. question - do you resent the idea and the people who are involved in prostitution, child traffiking, using poor girls in Thailand, etc

2. question - are you okey with your SO telling you these stories, like an idiot he is?

which question you want an answer for? obviously, the first question is very controversional and difficult, the second question is easily answered by: that man is not your SO, he is not really interested in you, if he is confessing this bullshit to you

Posted by Effortless

Posted by Black-Mamba

@effortless we all know you go to thailand to pay for ladyboys

you don't need to convince us you hate women, we got the receipts.

Wrong on so many levels.

Your false accusations are supremely unattractive.

click to expand

Nobody said she was attractive. Lol

CC is an odd ball. Confused and angry hot!

Posted by Pandora101

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Let us get straight to the point.

If your SO used to pay for sex, in countries where it was illegal. To then have no remorse or guilt over it, knowing he could have contributed to human trafficking, slavery, etc. Completely aware that it may not have been consensual. If and when given the choice, in the same predicament, that he would do it again without hesitation. To have the view that, sex was a need, and to go without it was wrong. No matter the situation, if it could be bought, it should be had. Especially, when you could pick and choose exactly what you wanted, given that it required heftier payments.

- Would it affect the relationship, and how you view him (especially if it contradicts with his personality when he is with you) ?

- Would it create conflict within you, and would it cause you to look out for other red flags ?

If it would affect you negatively ... how would you overcome it, or would you leave him and move on ?

I would not be turned off by the fact, but I would be turned off him talking about it to me

i mean, do I really need to know about all your past sexual adventures? in detail?

I think we need to know how you know this? if he is your SO (or is it on bahalf of your friend?)

I mean, if he is feeding you stories like this, you are a friend and not a SO? imho

why at all came this up between you?

it seems you have merged two questions into one, so I think:

1. question - do you resent the idea and the people who are involved in prostitution, child traffiking, using poor girls in Thailand, etc

2. question - are you okey with your SO telling you these stories, like an idiot he is?

which question you want an answer for? obviously, the first question is very controversional and difficult, the second question is easily answered by: that man is not your SO, he is not really interested in you, if he is confessing this bullshit to you

click to expand

Well @Pandora101 ... he is my SO, this came up as we were discussing our sexual history.

In the initial months, for quite a while he hinted at it but always made it seem as if he did not have as much sexual experience as I had nor as much partners. That he hated emotionless sex, and never could orgasm nor enjoy himself during such experiences.

He gave off the impression that he was naive, almost innocent, whilst remorseful for having paid directly to such services. For the most part he was genuinely kind and caring.

However, as the month passed by, information began to slip here and there. It took a while, until I gathered enough pieces of information, enough to ask him about the truth. He had in fact had just as much experience as I have had, if not more (merely not within the BDSM realm). Not only so, but then to find out he actually had much more partners than I have ever had. It was not the number which had bothered me. It was the inability to be honest, which lead me to believe an image of him that does not completely correlate with the truth.

He actually enjoyed quite a fair amount of those girls, as much as the ones he did not. Which was why he kept paying, and going back to the habits. Simply because he could buy whatever look or type of girl he liked and have sex with them until he could not get hard anymore (as long as he paid).

Posted by MyStarsShine

Is this the Aries guy, Lady?

Bloody hell no, thank god.

Finally, he began to change his ways, the Ram Gent but it was too late. He showed me far too many sides of him, which made me realise how incompatible we were. Our life journey was moving in diverging pathways.

From time to time, he would write and attempt a reconnection. The last time I met him, he showed signs of regret but when life passes you by, it simply does. Oh well, lessons learned for all. 🙂

How have you been faring, dear Stars ?

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Notmyrealname

I wouldn’t be attracted to someone that didn’t care about the other person enjoying having sex with them. I mean it takes all sorts and I think each to their own really but anyone that can treat sex as a commodity or women like vessels to gratification would be unappealing to me. I like sensitive people who are tuned in to others.

Great point @Notmyrealname, this also bothered me. That he felt as casual about it, in regards to objectifying women in a situation where it may not have been mutually consensual. To then also, view women, like meat, pure commodities. To be paid for, used, and cast aside.

Total turn off

Wouldn't touch him with a barge pole, especially as I've never slept around

You dating this guy, Lady?

click to expand

Yes Stars, he is a rather earthy Goat.

I have only truly come to know this side of him very recently. Therefore, I am in as much shock as the lot of you reading it. The man I came to love was not like this, at all. Imagine having to reconcile the fact, that they were actually the same person.

this thread is pretty much the female equivalent of SF's thread about how sexual monogamy is good for females lol

I would low key hate him. Like really hate him for being so selfish.

I would also pity him and think he was pathetic.

Honestly I would probably end up depressed, because it breaks me to learn how selfish some people are, and all for just sex!!!!! I mean are you fucking serious!!!!! But I would also feel powerless, knowing it goes on every where all the time and even a guy I could think of as amazing would contribute to it.

I would hope I would leave him. But everything would be hard, because it would make no difference... He would go back to the prostitutes and/or find somebody else. Maybe not tell that person, and that's be it. Or he would tell, and the other person would accept it. Or the next person would.

Honestly I sometimes feel like if we all knew what all guys had done in their lives, there would be no relationships.

It's like making slaughterhouses see through! If we all could see how things really go on, we'd be disgusted.

Sorry I have no advice.

In countries where it was illegal... human trafficking... so definitely minors involved at some point. It's something sickening enough to drop a person who I've developed feelings for. There was a sex trade survivor who was repeatedly raped by their father, given off to men of all statuses. Read about her experience here and cringe to sleep on continuing to desire a man that was potentially involved in something like that:

https://www.reddit.com/r/AMA/comments/8o7ueo/i_was_forced_into_the_sex_trade_by_my_father_sold/

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by MyStarsShine

Is this the Aries guy, Lady?

Bloody hell no, thank god.

Finally, he began to change his ways, the Ram Gent but it was too late. He showed me far too many sides of him, which made me realise how incompatible we were. Our life journey was moving in diverging pathways.

From time to time, he would write and attempt a reconnection. The last time I met him, he showed signs of regret but when life passes you by, it simply does. Oh well, lessons learned for all. 🙂

How have you been faring, dear Stars ?

click to expand

Glad the ♈️ has gone!

This guy you write about, i wouldn't trust.....sounds like he could always be leading a double life?

Do you think you're still attracting these guys because you're not ready yet?

I'm really good thanks.....love my life, feel free and happy 😊 🌟👍

Posted by tiziani

So i gave it some time to understand what the point here is. i still don't get what you really feel about it.

I understand going against sex trafficking. I already do and have done for years. If you want to join the most active people who are giving their lives to exposing and taking about sex trafficking they're easy to find, I can send you the details.

But if it's only something that affects you when it enters your sex life, avoid the hypocrisy of telling him he lacks empathy. A sincere reaction is one like LethalFantasia's where he's just being real that what bothers him is the sex, not the politics, or the wellbeing of people in the third world.

It's too superficial to mix the two together and claim the high ground of empathy. That's a way to avoid your real feelings and end up attracting people who's choice disappoint or disgust you, all over again.

You're well within your rights to say you just plain don't like this guy and he doesn't turn you on anymore, if that's what's bothering you. Then you'd have solid ground to move forward and make a different choice as soon as you do.

To be honest @tiziani, I am a vortex of conflicting emotions, even I have no conclusion to my own thoughts or emotions as of yet. Even when he asks me how or what I feel or think, the best I could come up with is I do not know.

I find myself more reactive at the moment than anything else. Lashing out at nothing in particular because the information caused such pain, with what I thought I knew and know now.

@tiziani, I make zero pretense as to what I am doing now. If I had the answer, or a resolution. I would not be as scattered as I am on DXP as I am now.

Could I look at his chart please, Lady?

Posted by MyStarsShine

Could I look at his chart please, Lady?

Goat Sun

Bull Moon

Sag Merc

Goat Venus

Bull Mars

As for the rest, I’d have to take a look again.

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by MyStarsShine

Could I look at his chart please, Lady?

Goat Sun

Bull Moon

Sag Merc

Goat Venus

Bull Mars

As for the rest, I’d have to take a look again.

click to expand

Houses and aspects? I'm interested in Chiron and Saturn

Yes my ex Leo. Since he was 22 with one transgender ones.

It did effect me a lot when I found out. I always thought maybe he was a homosexual though. Lots of women hating and sexual problems with performance, porn addiction and alcoholism and extreme anger.

I'm sure someone hurt him along the way in life besides his shit alcoholic mother.

I feel very bad for him. I did love him though and oddly enough he was one of the people I've been closest to in this life.

I don't think he really gives a shit about his life deep down and sometimes I can relate. I've done risky sexual behavior and dangerous behavior too. But I had to turn a page and keep trying to turn them

I was very lucky to have no STD's.

I don't know how I feel about prostitution on a whole. Logically I understand why people would do it.

Ethically I'm not sure. And if anyone is forced into it obviously that's horrifying and not okay.

Posted by starlord

Honestly I sometimes feel like if we all knew what all guys had done in their lives, there would be no relationships.

It's like making slaughterhouses see through! If we all could see how things really go on, we'd be disgusted.

Sorry I have no advice.

Exactly why monogyny is about status and nothing else. You will never know 100% what your partner does sexually. You will never be able to trust anything 100% because you will never know someone 100% . People need to grow up and stop living in a dream.

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by MyStarsShine

Could I look at his chart please, Lady?

Goat Sun

Bull Moon

Sag Merc

Goat Venus

Bull Mars

As for the rest, I’d have to take a look again.

Houses and aspects? I'm interested in Chiron and Saturn

click to expand

Goat Saturn

Crabapple Chiron

Merman Rising

As for the rest, I will have to get back to you. 🙂

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by MyStarsShine

Could I look at his chart please, Lady?

Goat Sun

Bull Moon

Sag Merc

Goat Venus

Bull Mars

As for the rest, I’d have to take a look again.

Houses and aspects? I'm interested in Chiron and Saturn

Goat Saturn

Crabapple Chiron

Merman Rising

As for the rest, I will have to get back to you. 🙂

click to expand

Crabapple Chiron? Can I have his date, time and place of birth and will take a look later😊

So, are you blanket statement covering all sex workers here, or specifically sex trafficking in developing countries and/or where it’s currently illegal? I’m confused here. The thread title contradicts the question.

Also, sex workers are workers.

P.s. Let’s not forget, that men can be sex workers too.

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Effortless

I once read a funny quote, and it went a lot like this.

"Prostitutes are the most honest women you will ever encounter."

It seems that you are looking down on a prostitute for doing what she does, but most women are prostitutes when you start to look at their behavior and motives with men.

Hmm @Effortless, if a prostitute was paid for in a legal country and it was of her own free will to chose this career. Then I have no issue with it. He would not have exploited anyone, and it would have been consensual.

However, the activities were blatantly taken in a country where it was not legal. Which thereby often makes the prostitute's origins questionable, especially her story and motive. For all we know, that does not make it sex between two consensual parties. It was the money paid, that forced her to have sex with someone she may not even want to be near. There is a power imbalance.

Therefore no, I do not look down on them. It is the matter of consent, and most probable exploitation at play that bothers me.

click to expand

The state of legality has near to nothing to do with consent. There are plenty illegally operating sex workers in USA underground, who choose to do this for a living, and consent or breach of consent can come from either party. Whether with a monetary transaction or else.

So, to rephrase your question, are you asking for our reaction on non-consensual history of potential partner’s sex life?

Because for me it doesn’t matter whether who they had sex with in the past - paid or not- as long as it’s been consensual.

Rape history though I’d have hige beef with. That’s a disqualifying part of one’s pedigree.

Posted by hydorah

this thread is pretty much the female equivalent of SF's thread about how sexual monogamy is good for females lol

LOL this.

People gatekeep sex way too much. As if it holds the only true meaning of being in a relationship and having a committed connection.

Posted by Sag898

Posted by starlord

Honestly I sometimes feel like if we all knew what all guys had done in their lives, there would be no relationships.

It's like making slaughterhouses see through! If we all could see how things really go on, we'd be disgusted.

Sorry I have no advice.

Exactly why monogyny is about status and nothing else. You will never know 100% what your partner does sexually. You will never be able to trust anything 100% because you will never know someone 100% . People need to grow up and stop living in a dream.

click to expand

Yeah I get it.

But the things I have done sexually, that I am not proud of, and that many and certain ly many men would judge me for, is no where near having gone to prostitues and possibly been a part of human trafficking and not care about it!

If I ever did get to know someone fully I would probably hate him. Honestly. At least if he was like this.

Posted by Impulsv

Posted by Sag898

Posted by starlord

Honestly I sometimes feel like if we all knew what all guys had done in their lives, there would be no relationships.

It's like making slaughterhouses see through! If we all could see how things really go on, we'd be disgusted.

Sorry I have no advice.

Exactly why monogyny is about status and nothing else. You will never know 100% what your partner does sexually. You will never be able to trust anything 100% because you will never know someone 100% . People need to grow up and stop living in a dream.

A sag gave the best advise even if married always use condom

Because 100 💯 guarantees don’t exist

click to expand

I couldn't face having sex with him at all after hearing his stories.....ewww

A friend of mine caught crabs after her bloke cheated on her, even though he wore a condom....👎🏻

To be specific, this is the part that grossed me out:

To have the view that, sex was a need, and to go without it was wrong. No matter the situation, if it could be bought, it should be had. Especially, when you could pick and choose exactly what you wanted, given that it required heftier payments.

Then this was the knock-out punch to the gut... vomit:

He did it not as a MGTOW @Kittens, but because he was insecure about his looks. He felt this was the only way he could get female attention. Also, because he felt sex was a right. If he could not get it casually (which he could not), he would pay for it in this way to get it 

Instead of spending money on ways to improve his self esteem, he spent it probably fuelling an industry that perpetually uses up people, and spits them out or until they hurt themselves, kill themselves, or die.

I went from disgust to sad to anger to... I'm not used to this complexity of emotions... I usually vomit or shit my pants.