Marriage

What does it mean to you?
Are you married?
Want to be married?
Think it's still needed in this day and age?
Think it's still sacred?

Also do you think there are parts exaggerated about it or looked over?
Do you need a partner to marry you to prove something to you? Would it?

Posted by SirHorns
What does it mean to you?
Are you married?
Want to be married?
Think it's still needed in this day and age?
Think it's still sacred?

Also do you think there are parts exaggerated about it or looked over?
Do you need a partner to marry you to prove something to you? Would it?

Marriage means free food, alcohol, party and citizenship.

I'm not married

I would like to be european or canadian someday so yes id like to be married

Yes it is needed because how else are ppl going to get out of hell holes

So long as there has been jerry springer or bold on the beautiful on tv or just tv in general weddings have never been sacred.

westernised weddings are an over exaggeration of love. An over dramatic gesture witnessed by all to consummate ones "love" has never been so unnecessary in this day and age??_

Some cultures they are considered important because its a means to obtain a dowry to eat otherwise they would starve so its a meaning of life and death??_..but here its an excuse to throw wads of cash around so ppl can live a dream.


I don't need a partner to marry me but I am very theatrical and love finding different outrageous ways to express my love and wouldn't be surprised if I hosted my own wedding or funeral for that matter.

1) marriage is a partnership. Making a commitment to another person. Accepting another completely, including their flaws. To love another unconditionally.

2) Not married. Previously married for 11 years. Divorced 3.


3) yes. Getting remarried in October.

4)is it needed? I don't think it's necessary for everyone to get married, but for me, I live with someone, personally I want to make it legal, and go to the next step/level. I have friends who live with a partner and do not plan to marry and that's fine for them.

5) I feel that marriage is sacred but I feel that a lot of people don't take it seriously enough.

I think the commitment aspect gets looked over. If you are going to get married you should try everything you can to make it work.

I don't feel I need to get married to prove anything to anyone.

I really like @Capgirl69 answer a lot. I'm very open to the idea of marriage. I can see it happening when i get older. Now if i was with a woman who didn't want marriage, but just a good relationship in general, i'm fine with that. As long as i get to be with a good woman who loves me, i'm ok. Marriage is a powerful good word. It definitely a sacred bond that should be cherished & respected. I have been thinking recently about my future wedding lol. I would want it in hawaii.

What does it mean to you?
Nothing. It's a piece of paper.

Are you married?
Nope!

Want to be married?
Never! I refuse to settle down with one person for the rest of my life.

Think it's still needed in this day and age?
Maybe for tax purposes.

Think it's still sacred?
It stopped being sacred long ago.

Also do you think there are parts exaggerated about it or looked over?
Probably, but this happens with a lot of things. I'd still never do it.

Do you need a partner to marry you to prove something to you? Would it?
No thanks. The moment someone whips out a ring I'll run as far away as possible.

I don't need the official title to be committed to someone. If my partner requires me to show it, i will do it in any other way she wants it, save marriage.

Hail Adam and Eve and their fundamentally correct life style ??_!

Did they marry??_? Ever..?

Marriage, to me, means that we will spend the rest of or lives together. Through good and bad, sickness and health... all that. Unless he cheats/beats on me.. then I'm out. Sidenote... is there really "unconditional" love? I think its always been conditional or should be to a certain extent.

It is just a piece of paper, but its legally binding. Its that much harder to just walk away, which would make me try harder to make it work. That could be a blessing and a curse.

It has legal benefits, but also legal downsides. You're credit is counted together I believe? I have bad credit, that would hold him back. But if he's sick or anything ever happens to me...the ability to legally have a say is a benefit.

Does it mean what it once did? I don't think so. So many people get married for just the legal benefits or shit even medical benefits..to have big lavish show weddings... idk it just isn't JUST for the commitment. I personally feel like I could just be with someone for the rest of.my life, I don't need marriage. If I was with someone who down the road really, really wanted it, I might.

Marriage means nothing to me. No I'm not married. No, I do't ever want to be married. I think it's lost its practice. I don't really think it's needed unless you want to be sure someone is forever yours or some shit like that.

@frostandbite: I like your answer. I agree. People base decisions on feelings that change, all too often.

@dolphinjoy- I also agree with your assessment. I think a lot of people rush into marriage at an early age because of pressures they feel that it is the right thing to do, but they are not ready to make those kinds of decisions. I think a lot of people don't fully understand what they are getting into.

We took a marriage class and one of the sessions was about Hollywood versus reality, and I think that also plays a big part in how people feel. The media makes it seem like you are supposed to live happily ever after, and if you have problems, there is something wrong with you or the relationship, or if you feel unhappy, you can just bail. When in reality, everyone is going to have hard times, problems and issues will arise, no one will be happy all the time.

I also think that a lot of people are unhealthy, or broken in some way, and not ready or equipped to have a healthy relationship. Then if they get married, they are going to have an unhealthy marriage.

I have had many unhealthy relationships, including my first marriage. Now that I have a good relationship, I see why I was so unhappy before. I met my first husband when I was 22, I probably was too young at that time to think clearly about it.

Posted by ombrerose
I just don't want to marry a loser.

Loser meaning those that think there's nothing wrong with them when they are the problem. I know many of those guys and they will never be fit for marriage.

A guy fit for marriage is a rare find, indeed.

lol date a guy who keeps thinking he's the problem then. He'll find tons of fault with himself and sabotage the relationship that you'll eventually brainwash yourself that he is very much just fine and try a lifetime to tell him otherwise.

A brand new store has just opened in New York City that sells Husbands.
When women go to choose a husband, they have to follow the instructions at the entrance:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are 6 floors and the value of
the products increase as you ascend the flights. You may choose any item
from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you
CANNOT go back down except to exit the building.

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
The 1st floor sign on the door reads:
Floor 1: These men have jobs.
The 2nd floor sign reads:
Floor 2: These men have Jobs and Love Kids.
The 3rd floor sign reads:
Floor 3: These men have Jobs, Love Kids and are extremely good looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the 4th floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4: These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and help with Housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the 5th floor and sign reads:
Floor 5: These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, help with Housework and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the 6th floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6: You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor.
There are no men on this floor.
This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

Posted by ombrerose


those people are just curious. you can't blame a curious cat. they might find god on the 6th level.
the dumbos are those that stay on lvl 1.

BTW, why is having a job a prereq to being a husband? arent u being judgmental?

Isn't having a job equal to financial stability which a women generically desires from a man with a reality check? I'm not getting personal, for clarity sake but you say having a reality radar is fundamental for you and from a formulaic viewpoint, a stable job that pays well is fundamental for supporting the family unit, no?

My understanding is a man with a reality radar should have these few things at least:
1) stable/respectable job that pays decently
2) A personality adequate to run a family unit and keep his woman constantly drawn to him
3) emotionally healthy (this is far and beyond almost impossible since everyone ends up scarred somehow)
4) a good social support group that he can rely on to support the family unit

Your values are hard to understand, at the very least. It seems to be culturally dependant.

Posted by SirHorns
What does it mean to you?

Are you married? no

Want to be married? yes !

Think it's still needed in this day and age? yes!

Think it's still sacred? yes!

Also do you think there are parts exaggerated about it or looked over?
no i love marriage, its beautiful.

Do you need a partner to marry you to prove something to you? Would it?

no, its not about that, its about two people committing to each other.

1.What does it mean to you?

Marriage is a bond between two people that chose to be with each other for life. Basically your life partner.

2.Are you married?

yes 😄

3.Want to be married?

i was married to my job for a long time. my only focus in life was to get my degree, my dream career and dominant it. men were my side piece, i was not looking for any relationships or love.

4.Think it's still needed in this day and age?

I think it is important to a lot of people. It has been a staple in society forever. how can we just phase it out. thats not going to happen. either you marry your life partner or your dont.

5.Think it's still sacred?
I know mine is, i don't know about everybody else's marriage. If anyone tries to mess up my marriage they will have a hell of a fight. I dont make bombs for nothing bitches!

6.Also do you think there are parts exaggerated about it or looked over?

yes!!! for example, people kept telling me that if you really love someone you wont mind them being in your space ALL the damn time. That is a freakin lie. you can love that person, but that doesnt mean you want to be with them all the damn time. I am happy I married a libra who likes his space too. we moved in together 2 years after dating, if that says anything about our relationship. The first month we were happy and doing the lovie dovie crap then after work I go home and see his 6'4 frame stretched out on the sofa, and think "damn really you here again". And he would think the same thing on the days I would sleep in and he wanted to nap and have the bed to himself. But we worked it out. We had to have our own rooms. So when we got married, we bought a 6 bedroom house. Two of those rooms are ours and then the rest is what it is. People think we bought this house to have lots of kids...HELL NO!

7.Do you need a partner to marry you to prove something to you? Would it?

no and no
I had 4 serious relationships in my lifetime. I got proposed to 4 times and accepted one of the proposals.

Damn, I wrote a book, sorry 😢

What does it mean to you?

I was married for a long time. For a long time it was a very good thing. I really liked having that "someone" who had my back, who I could really trust, talk to, and just plain be with. It meant a lot, while it was good.

Are you married?

Currently divorced.

Want to be married?

If I could find someone who made me feel like I did in the context of question 1, yes I would. On the other hand, it has been 4 years since I left my marriage, so I suppose I can stop "holding my breath."


Think it's still needed in this day and age?

It was never a necessity. People have a natural tendency to take up with certain individuals. There may or may not be some sort of formal ceremony, but that seems to be beside the point. The concept of "marriage" does seem to be a universal human concept, though. Consent by all parties seems to be all that is really required. It does announce a certain level of commitment, though. In that context, it can be very useful. "Dumbass So and So, broke their leg, again. Drag them over to where Whoever is, so that Whoever can take care of So and So until their leg is better!" for example.

Think it's still sacred?

Marriage has never been "sacred." The "Sacredness" is a construct of people who want to control the lives of others. By making it "Sacred" you can impose such things as social "norms," taxes, and all sorts of control over others as an exercise of power.


Also do you think there are parts exaggerated about it or looked over?

The romantic, life will be bliss ideas are way over exaggerated. It is hard work. It takes a lot of commitment from all parties. There is constant tension on one point or a dozen others. You have to compromise. You have to put up with a lot of crap not of your own making. You have in-laws and spousal friends you despise, on and on. If you can't compromise, and learn to keep your mouth shut at times, it ain't gonna' work.

Do you need a partner to marry you to prove something to you? Would it?

I don't see this one. Marriage should be a coming together, not proving an individual point.

And now, for today's lecture.

For most of human history, the life span of a human would be maybe 30-40 years. Of course, 70-80-90 is pretty common now. So, in the context of human history, people would get "married" in their late teens, and start having children. By the time they had been together for 20 years, one or both of the original partners were dead. Most likely her, when she died in child birth.

With this in mind, it is a curious thing that we expect marriages to last 50-60-70 years. For the most of human existence, we didn't even live that long, but now we expect a marriage to last for all those decades. It is a rather astonishing expectation, in reality.

It has been argued in more than one place that one of the underlying reasons that divorce rates are so high is that our life expectancies are so long. After 15-20 years of being with the same person, each individual has changed in fundamental ways, and probably many fundamental ways. One of the original partners should be dead, and a new LTR formed by the surviving partner.

It seems rather cynical, but I find that this has a good deal to say for it. The "Till Death Do You Part" has taken on a whole new meaning, as we aren't dying "on schedule."

Posted by tiziani



Sign me right up!

Have at it.

I wonder if harems are cheaper...

Posted by noname

i asked my scorp what he thinks about having our own rooms and strangely i actually loved the way he replied "no way baby" lol. i must be out of my mind 🙂

The funny thing is, I'd ask the same thing, lol. I better have my own room!

I am not surprised at the negative responses of the younger posters at all.

If you are or have been raised in a really bad marriage by a couple (parents) who refused to get divorced, you teach your kids THIS is what marriage is. It's HELL.

A while back a member and I debated this very topic for quite some time. (if he's lurking..Hi 🙂)

The debate was 'is divorce bad for kids or is it better to stay the long haul no matter how bad it is?'
I adamantly believe the behavior parents show in front of their kids is impressionable. If it's loving, normal and yes, with the good and bad (the bad being worked out between the couple and the kids learning that) it's very healthy environment.

However, if the bad out weighs the good...GET A DIVORCE and MOVE ON! "Bad" meaning, it's verbally abusive, physically abusive, the couple do not speak but grunt to one another (ie no love shown), move the fuck on. If you don't you are teaching your kids, "this IS the meaning of marriage". Is it no wonder we have the younger generation saying "I will never get married"? "NEVER!!"

OOPS...fingers jumped a bit

Couples think they are doing the children good by staying together. No...IT'S NOT. It's a lie!!

Yet...they don't care, and well the young generation have been influenced by it.

The proof is here.

On another spectrum, if a young girl sees mommy being verbally abused, physically abused, guess what? She's gonna go toward men like that when she grows up because Mommy taught her it's ok, and it's what you are suppose to do.

Boys who grow up watching it take the role of their father, and find meak women to bat around.
Or verbally abuse.

It's a really vicious cycle.

Posted by ombrerose


it's now a woman's world.

Unfortunately until women figure out it's not, they will end up alone.

P.S. Astrology has NOTHING to do with marriage or the meaning of it.

Upbringing by two parents who raise you for 18 years does.

What does it mean to you?
My first marriage was because it made my family happy and it seemed like it was time. I glided through it like it was a play I was performing in.

Are you married?
Yes, non traditional second marriage.

Think it's still needed in this day and age?
No, I actually swore off of marriage but my hubby is Virgo Pluto and is conservative in this aspect. Marriage is the level of commitment he required so when he led me into a surprise ceremony, I didn't hesitate. It was pretty awesome because I was fully engaged in the moment with no distractions and learned what a real wedding feels like.

Think it's still sacred?
I think the bond of intimacy that marriage can create is sacred. The legal document is not.

Also do you think there are parts exaggerated about it or looked over?
I think people don't really know what marriage is about and is viewed as a path to take or not to take. That's how I felt. I was disillusioned. I agree what Elle said about Pluto Libra generation. Financial security, eggs dying etc. The —look?? of marriage is more important to some than the actual human they are entering it with.

Do you need a partner to marry you to prove something to you? Would it?
I would have said no, but having someone marry you on the spot because that's all they want from life is amazing proof of love and I wouldn't cheapen the sentiment by blowing a gesture like that off. I didn't need it but boy do I appreciate it.