My ex husband is on lockdown in Italy. Would it be a bad idea if I reach out to him?

Ok, this a hard situation for me.

I used to be married to an Italian man but we divorced because we weren't compatible.

Now I'm in a relationship with another man who is super jealous, controlling and who hates every boyfriend I ever had in the past. He wants me to hate all my boyfriends, including my ex husband.

I really don't have any grudges or hate him, we just didn't get along so I moved on. He went back to Italy with his family and they live in the north of Italy!!! That's were everyone is dying right now. So I feel that I should just send him and his family a message wishing them well. Nothing else. I don't have any intentions of trying to get back with him but I don't know if it's a good idea. 🤔 Is this disrespectful towards my current boyfriend. He will go NUTS if I tell him I want to wish him well.

I just don't want to be an insensitive human being. I traveled to Italy many times and met many people there because of my ex and I can't imagine what they're going through. Locked at home and with fear of getting infected!!! I'm in a terrible situation here. Should I reach out or not?

Or maybe contact someone else there so they tell him I say hi.

Posted by Rainbow87

Ok, this a hard situation for me.

I used to be married to an Italian man but we divorced because we weren't compatible.

Now I'm in a relationship with another man who is super jealous, controlling and who hates every boyfriend I ever had in the past. He wants me to hate all my boyfriends, including my ex husband.

I really don't have any grudges or hate him, we just didn't get along so I moved on. He went back to Italy with his family and they live in the north of Italy!!! That's were everyone is dying right now. So I feel that I should just send him and his family a message wishing them well. Nothing else. I don't have any intentions of trying to get back with him but I don't know if it's a good idea. 🤔 Is this disrespectful towards my current boyfriend. He will go NUTS if I tell him I want to wish him well.

I just don't want to be an insensitive human being. I traveled to Italy many times and met many people there because of my ex and I can't imagine what they're going through. Locked at home and with fear of getting infected!!! I'm in a terrible situation here. Should I reach out or not?

Or maybe contact someone else there so they tell him I say hi.

Forward - I have yet to read any other opinions on this, because I wanted to share my organic response for your consideration. It's only my two cents for whatever that may, or may not, be worth.

That being said...

When you're in a relationship, to me, one of the most important aspects of that is being able to communicate with the other person. I know you believe that you know the position and stance that he is going to take on this if you choose to bring it up; however, that still should not be a reason for you to not have the conversation with him, or to neglect giving him the opportunity to be his own voice as a part of the decision making process.

The reason I say this is because...

• If you decide not to make contact predicated on your belief, and if your belief was wrong, you're going to have to pay the consequence of knowing that you could have when you told yourself you couldn't.

• If you choose too make contact knowing that it may upset somebody, and you choose not to have the conversation with them for that reason, again it is going to force you to live with the consequences of your decision knowing that you shouldn't have when you told yourself you could.

If you go for it and choose to have a conversation with him that isn't you disrespecting him, but rather it is you showing a level of respect and consideration for him by further reinforcing the fact that his opinion does matter. It should also show him how important this is on your thoughts if you're willing to bring something like this up with him honestly especially when he knows that he likely has expressed his concerns on this before.

It's just about mutual respect. You respect him enough to care about his thoughts, he should be respectful enough in return to care about your thoughts. This shouldn't be something that breaks down communication but instead of way to reinforce it and the love that you have for each other.

If you care about your boyfriend, don’t do it. No one from your exes family is expecting you to reach out. And if you do, it’s going to be more than one message because they will respond and then you will have to again. I just don’t think it’s necessary or an obligation.

Probably not worth the black eye.

Of course you should. If nothing else, this difficult time hopefully will teach us all to be more compassionate, thoughtful and kind

Examine why you’re in such an unhealthy relationship with an unhinged man who you fear

I've known a few Cancer women who end up with overly controllng men, three were with Scorpios....

*sigh. People truly love to complicate their lives.

Well, I would have to definitely speak to my boyfriend first.

If I reach out without telling him it will be bad! But he's so dramatic and he will start telling me the usual. "that I don't love him and I'm disrespectful".

One time he got mad because I mentioned an ex. Here's what happened. I have a dog and whenever he saw my boyfriend she got all happy. So I told him: "I'm surprised she likes you so much. I can't believe she's reacting like this. I had an ex and she did not like him at all. She actually barked at him".

He got furious when I told him this saying that I'm disrespectful and till this day he is not over it. He keeps bringing it up and making me feel like I betrayed him just because I said that.

Is he dramatic— So when I tell him I want to reach out he will go even more crazy. That's my concerned

I meaann, I havent been married yet so maybe my advice is null.

But that’s ur whole ex husband, not ex bf. You guys were together for a while, got married and shared intimately your lives and families.

You are currently w a boyfriend. Who doesn’t sound like a great one tbh.

Personally I would calmly tell ur bf you’re doing it and that it comes out of a wholesome (not romantic) place from ur heart.

How he reacts should tell you all u need to know. If he overreacts and becomes controlling, then he doesn’t trust you. And who wants to be w someone who doesn’t trust you🤢

The relationship you're in with your boyfriend sounds awful. You should be more worried about your future w him than anything else. You don't seem to truly grasp the predicament you're in, dealing with a jealous, insecure, controlling "man". SMH

Posted by sweetpea2977

The relationship you're in with your boyfriend sounds awful. You should be more worried about your future w him than anything else. You don't seem to truly grasp the predicament you're in, dealing with a jealous, insecure, controlling "man". SMH

This ^^^

Posted by Rainbow87

Ok, this a hard situation for me.

I used to be married to an Italian man but we divorced because we weren't compatible.

Now I'm in a relationship with another man who is super jealous, controlling and who hates every boyfriend I ever had in the past. He wants me to hate all my boyfriends, including my ex husband.

I really don't have any grudges or hate him, we just didn't get along so I moved on. He went back to Italy with his family and they live in the north of Italy!!! That's were everyone is dying right now. So I feel that I should just send him and his family a message wishing them well. Nothing else. I don't have any intentions of trying to get back with him but I don't know if it's a good idea. 🤔 Is this disrespectful towards my current boyfriend. He will go NUTS if I tell him I want to wish him well.

I just don't want to be an insensitive human being. I traveled to Italy many times and met many people there because of my ex and I can't imagine what they're going through. Locked at home and with fear of getting infected!!! I'm in a terrible situation here. Should I reach out or not?

Or maybe contact someone else there so they tell him I say hi.

Lol there must be something wrong with you.

Posted by Rainbow87

Ok, this a hard situation for me.

I used to be married to an Italian man but we divorced because we weren't compatible.

Now I'm in a relationship with another man who is super jealous, controlling and who hates every boyfriend I ever had in the past. He wants me to hate all my boyfriends, including my ex husband.

I really don't have any grudges or hate him, we just didn't get along so I moved on. He went back to Italy with his family and they live in the north of Italy!!! That's were everyone is dying right now. So I feel that I should just send him and his family a message wishing them well. Nothing else. I don't have any intentions of trying to get back with him but I don't know if it's a good idea. 🤔 Is this disrespectful towards my current boyfriend. He will go NUTS if I tell him I want to wish him well.

I just don't want to be an insensitive human being. I traveled to Italy many times and met many people there because of my ex and I can't imagine what they're going through. Locked at home and with fear of getting infected!!! I'm in a terrible situation here. Should I reach out or not?

Or maybe contact someone else there so they tell him I say hi.

I used to be married to an Italian many years ago. Travelled to Italy many times and met many of his relatives. I contacted his cousin who is based in Italy to find out how his relatives are doing. Basically, you do not have to have contact with your ex directly and open a new can of worms. If you and your ex were as close as you say or left on amicable terms, then you would have had some kind of intermittent communication over the years but there wasn’t any.

Either contact one or your exes relatives ie a cousin or a bro or sister or leave things alone. It would just seem weird to me if an ex contacted me many years later to find out how my relatives were doing when they couldn’t be bothered to keep in touch.

On another note, if you are with a person who is possessive, controlling and super jealous I think your ex’s relatives are the least of your problems. I think you need to set boundaries with this current bf. The types of people who are are like your current bf easily end up being stalkers. Sort your house out ...

Posted by TopSecret

@ Rainbow87

You have stated you are Cancer, and your psychopathic boyfriend is a Libra.

Personally, I cannot stand most Libras.

Yes, there are a few exceptions to the rule here and there (Tiz).

However, most of them are really horrible to deal with.

Many of them are self-loathing and miserable wretches, and I really hate being near one since their toxic feelings and lies often ooze too close for comfort.

They also tend to change things around and move the goal posts a lot....

.....And all the while never telling you what the hell is going on.

....Dear God, they lie about everything too.

Just disgusting stuff all around.

Godspeed and God Bless as you make your highly-necessary exit from this clearly awful "relationship" with him.

Can’t stand libra men either. Very controlling big babies. Fake Flakes.