R.I.P What's on your Tombstone?

Morbid, yes but would you like to write your own tombstone or let your loved ones do it? When I find myself in a cemetery, I love to read what is written on the tombstones. The best are ones that seem to have a little more than, 'beloved __& dates.' I like those with a little personality. Like these:

On a spinster postmistress:

Returned--Unopened

In a North Carolina cemetery
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To follow you

I am not content,

How do I know

Which way you went.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Boot Hill Museum, Dodge City, Kansas

Here lies the body of Arkansas Jim.

We made the mistake, But the joke's on him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Winterborn Steepleton Cemetery, Dorsetshire, England

Here lies the body

Of Margaret Bent

She kicked up her heels

And away she went.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Falkirk, England

1690

Here lie the bones of Joseph Jones

Who ate while he was able.

But once overfed, he dropt down dead

And fell beneath the table.

When from the tomb, to meet his doom,

He arises amidst sinners.

Since he must dwell in heaven or hell,

Take him-whichever gives the best dinners.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On a lawyer in England:

Sir John Strange.

Here lies an honest lawyer.

And that is Strange.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On a dentist:

Stranger tread

This ground with gravity.

Dentist Brown

Is filling his last cavity.

Edinburgh, Scotland

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On an Auctioneer:

Jedediah Goodwin

Auctioneer

Born 1828

Going!

Going!!

Gone!!!

1876

Here beneath this stone we lie

Back to back my wife and I

And when the angels trump shall trill

If she gets up then I'll lie still!

Barlinine Cemetery, Glasgow, Scotland

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Here lies

Elizabeth,

my wife for 47 years,

and this is the first damn thing

she ever done to oblige me.

Streatham Churchyard, England
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On an adulterous husband:

Gone, but not forgiven

Atlanta, Georgia

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This stone was raised by Sara's Lord

Not Sara's virtues to record

For they are known to all the town.

This stone was raised to keep her down.

Kilmurry Churchyard, Ireland

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Some atheists claim to fame.

Here lies

an Atheist

All dressed up

And no place to go.

Thurmont, Maryland
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
On a hypochondriac's grave:

See. I told you

I was SICK!

Littleton, Colorado
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harry Edsel Smith

Born 1903 - Died 1942

Looked up the elevator shaft

to see if the car

was on the way down.

It was.

near Albany, New York

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Arthur C. Homan's epitaph:

Once I wasn't

Then I was

Now I ain't again.

Cleveland, Ohio
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thomas Stagg's epitaph:

That is all

St. Giles Churchyard, London, England

BEERGO

Here lies

STUD MUFFIN

DXP CLOWN

..........

😛

Jason

"There is an envelope with $ 1,000 in my coffin.
If you can't find it, well that just too bad."

Here lies a Sorceress of the Kitchen
A Force of Nature
A Mother, A Daughter, a Granddaughter
Finally! An uninterrupted nap!

I have tears in my eyes as I write this.
I am working on a epigraph for my head stone.
I am writeing my own eulogy and I have had nothing but good things to say about me.

LOL! Mine is purely for fun. My final resting place will be a marble jar.

Upon my grave you may dance
my hands may arise if given the chance
to smack the vampire-wannabe's
who hang in cemeteries
You think it's cool to play with death
wait until you take your last breath

It is beautiful. It is written by Mary Elizabeth Frye. She wrote a later version:

Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am in a thousand winds that blow,
I am the softly falling snow.
I am the gentle showers of rain,
I am the fields of ripening grain.
I am in the morning hush,
I am in the graceful rush
Of beautiful birds in circling flight,
I am the starshine of the night.
I am in the flowers that bloom,
I am in a quiet room.
I am in the birds that sing,
I am in each lovely thing.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I do not die.

Revised edition:

Upon my grave you may dance
my hands may arise if given the chance
to smack the vampire-wannabe's
who hang out in cemeteries
You think it's cool to play with death
wait until you take your last breath
your body will become as cold as stone
take your pre-teen arses home
live your life and don't complain
no matter how mundane
be glad you're not here
and live the rest of your days in good cheer.

Jason

"Please stop leaving flowers on my tombstone. The bees are so annoying.
Heres a list of good things I'd like in the four seasons:
Spring - A cute bunny sticker
Summer - Water
Fall - One red, orange, yellow, and brown leaf.
Winter - A hallmark card full of love and warm words"

stuffed crust double cheese w/ pepperoni, ham, onions, & pineapples 😉

My tombstone would say:

@VanGogh @Gauguin BEST ABSINTHE EVER #realtalk

or

I'm at Heaven http://4sq.com/heAV3N

Seriously, I don't know. Such a macabre topic.