Sex Tips for Denver......

...so he's not a sad sack of shit of a lay.

Give your tips and advice, poor schmuck seems to need it.

I'll start: Do be a great kisser. No one wants a chicken pecker or an open mouthed octopus trying to swallow the face whole.

lost cause.

Oh come, on! Someone has to help him!

You know I'm always on your side. But this is a waste of everyone's time.
You're assuming he'll ever get the chance to put what we bother to teach to use.
Also assuming he can retain any of the information.

Why not hold a bake sale and buy him a REALDOLL. They look fun. Nice documentary.

Foreplay, dude.

How small is it?

Do break down what foreplay is.

Hell no.
Lots of acquired experience.
That would be like the Seahawks giving Denver their playbook before the Superbowl.

I figured it out, and there's always Google or Bing.

I'm sure he is elated now that an entire thread has been started on him.
Isn't that what Aries men like...The floor...The Attention...The Admiration...He deserves a standing ovation!!
Really....his mind is so fuq'd up that he's bound to "THINKS THIS SONG IS ABOUT HIM"...lol
The EGO and COCAINE is a helluva drug

Posted by kim30
Do break down what foreplay is.

Yes, break it down because Denver might not even know what foreplay means.

Is Denver the dude making threads everywhere... too lazy to look

Posted by DonAmanMarat
Elven World is a beautiful place from what I hear...do share some stories MoonArtist.

Well, I was once at this SMASHING pixie dust party and I'm pretty sure that at least three quarters of the guests were Pisces Elves because it didn't take long for the clothes to come off and the freak to get on. But you know what they say about entering a fairy circle....

OMG, Georged Member was a real treat to spend the evening with...such a smooth dancer and linguist. 😉

Posted by Impulsv
Those blue eyes will hypnotist u don!

Yes, but I don't want to add him to my harem.

Yes, as soon as the Scorpio orcs showed up at the party the freaky got kinky. ~sighs with contentment~ Not that we would DARE to socialize with such beastly brutes and their strong, intense, hearthrobbingly atrocious ways....we're so above that sort of fraternizing! But they did lend an to the atmosphere with such....such....ummm....muscley badness.....and....what was the question?

Hmmm....the Aquarius Nazgul....pretty sure they didn't make the invite list, but they did have the audacity to show up. Put in cages for display and made to perform. They might have some chance for some use or another.

Posted by Rabbit

Posted by MoonArtist
Yes, as soon as the Scorpio orcs showed up at the party the freaky got kinky. ~sighs with contentment~ Not that we would DARE to socialize with such beastly brutes and their strong, intense, hearthrobbingly atrocious ways....we're so above that sort of fraternizing! But they did lend an to the atmosphere with such....such....ummm....muscley badness.....and....what was the question?

Don't make me get out the war hammer...

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Ohhhhh NOOOOOO, not the "war hammer"!! I've been ever so naughty! Eeek and help!

Oh, wait, I'm supposed to be all uppity.

Surely thoust would not darest to bring out the overly large "war hammer"! We elves forbid it!

Pish posh....Scorpio orcs wouldn't be caught dead with an average anything.

Haha, that's what I asked but I am being ignored ** sigh **

Denver is the little twit trolling all the boards with the negative stuff. Cancer crybabies, that sort of stuff. Then he goes on other threads and continues in the bsery.

Check out the virgo board about sex with cancer chicks. That's where this thread was born.

Posted by FixedWater
Haha, that's what I asked but I am being ignored ** sigh **

Sorry! I wasn't ignoring! ~hangs head in shame~

Lmao Don't hang your head in shame silly, I was busy studying anyway! Hehe!
I wondered, is he new or back?

I guess he's new. Don't know really, but he's annoying.

He will be soaking all of this up like a sponge. His Ego is monstrous, and a 'tude that says everyone owes him. He is in for a rough ride if he does not find some humility for starters....

Good lord, I hope he's not 15!! Who the hell are his parents and why isn't he on one of those cute monkey kid leashes?!

Lol.. and parents have money.

I need money. Maybe his daddy wants a sugar baby?

JK!

.... and a sugar sister to the sugar baby ?

Posted by MadameDeScruffsalot

Posted by MoonArtist
Denver is the little twit trolling all the boards with the negative stuff. Cancer crybabies, that sort of stuff. Then he goes on other threads and continues in the bsery.

lol

Ok I'll read up when I have time.

Don't know about this Denver one...but trolling - when done right - breaks up the monotony on forums.
I usually like trolls. 😄

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Yes, if done right. He's not doing it right, he's just being a class A twatface.

Posted by FixedWater
.... and a sugar sister to the sugar baby ?

We'll share the sugar daddy? Kinky! I think it will work. 😉

Only if you're uncomfortable about sex or uncomfortable about your sex partner. For those of us who don't fear, but love it and have an innate understanding of how to work it....well....

In my opinion, sex rarely looks that good on tape, but I'm an artist and super critical of the aesthetics. Guys like visual so it turns them on just to see a close up shot of the action, which when you analyze it isn't all that attractive. It's the feelings, the passion and the getting into it that makes or breaks good sex.

Now, to further analyze sex on tape you have the majority of porn....and as we know it's all acting. Set up the angle so the camera can get a close up of dick being rammed into something and have the actress over act the orgasm no matter what uncomfortable and nearly impossible position she's in. That isn't real sex on film any more than anything else produced for entertainment is real compared to life. As a photographer this is why I get so picky about my shots. In life no one can hit the pause button and pick apart the details. On film you can and that can make all the difference between wow and meh.

Good to see another troll has made it in dxp.

Kudos to the last dinosaur.

Posted by strudel

Posted by Rabbit
Porn...isn't......real?!?!?

😭

first pro wrestling now porn? fuck dxp taking away all my dreams!!!

next you'll tell me my harem is full of catfish! 😭

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Well what do you expect when you keep feeding the harem beef rice... geesh! It's a hint. Lol 😄

Posted by strudel
It is beef flavored rice with fish fillet! Then i read them neruda til they fall asleep then ride of on my harley. I am basically a sexy version of santa claus.

Sexy Harley riding Santa, well isn't that an interesting combination.

An Aries who se sexual ability apparently leaves much to be desired...

I don't, really.

Posted by Rabbit
Porn...isn't......real?!?!?

😭

I'm sorry to be the bringer of bad news. Here, have a neat whiskey. There there, you'll be ok.

Posted by strudel

Posted by Rabbit
Porn...isn't......real?!?!?

😭

first pro wrestling now porn? fuck dxp taking away all my dreams!!!

next you'll tell me my harem is full of catfish! 😭

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Hey! It's NOT my fault if you have a fish fetish. I'm not judging.

Posted by FixedWater

Posted by strudel
It is beef flavored rice with fish fillet! Then i read them neruda til they fall asleep then ride of on my harley. I am basically a sexy version of santa claus.

Sexy Harley riding Santa, well isn't that an interesting combination.

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He probably makes the harem dress as sexy mrs. claus.

Posted by Arielle83
...this is a fact? based on?

Based on the Denver himself...and much logical speculation. Very thorough and scientific speculation. We have the virgos on chart and graph duty for this right now. Where's Damny?

Posted by Arielle83
A better question would be: why does anyone give a fuck?

No one, but he's a fun play toy for now.

What, Denver...are you a crybaby? You can dish it but you can't take it? Poor baby doll....

Actually he just avoids confrontation entirely with the random 'cvnts' and fuck you guys. He actually posted something nice about aquas, I think he may want to be one after he read about pisces and decided he's not an Aries.

Boy has issues.

Posted by MoonArtist
What, Denver...are you a crybaby? You can dish it but you can't take it? Poor baby doll....

Apparently he can't "dish it", otherwise he wouldn't be having so many problems with sexual satisfaction of his partners.

Oh and the mandatory, he's a bit of a tosser and idiot.

Posted by CancerOnTheCusp

Posted by MoonArtist
What, Denver...are you a crybaby? You can dish it but you can't take it? Poor baby doll....

Apparently he can't "dish it", otherwise he wouldn't be having so many problems with sexual satisfaction of his partners.

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This is true....and worse, he supposedly had 3 crabs and bored them all. We're pretty dang sexual so that's a sad thing when you bore a crab in bed!