&2gedanow
@&2gedanow
15 Years1,000+ Posts
Comments: 0 · Posts: 1236 · Topics: 58
TRUE LOVE
My head aches...
I don't think it's smethng that should be given or taken, love.
I tink it's somethng that should be just IS.
Yes. That is a grammatical error made on purpose. Love should be just is.
There shouldn't be a point where it bloomed or where it ended. It should always be there.
I tink it's somethng that should be just IS.
Yes. That is a grammatical error made on purpose. Love should be just is.
There shouldn't be a point where it bloomed or where it ended. It should always be there.
It shouldn't be traceable. It should be like the point between the summit and the river below on waterfall: constantly pouring.
I also think I have sadomasochistic tendencies. Because I'm giving my self quite the headache.
I also think I have sadomasochistic tendencies. Because I'm giving my self quite the headache.
I love this thread. 😛
Seriously though, love is simply what it is. It is a force that drives us, one that repels us for it can bring hurt. It sneaks up on cats paw or hits you with the force of a hurricane. It is a very finite thing that humbles us all. Awe, agape. It knows no boundaries from beggar to King. Queen to scullery maid.
It is the force that moves within and without. What we strive for as human beings. Love is gentle and kind. Love is predator and foe. Nothing can bring one to such heights or smash them just as quickly upon the rocks of despair.
It is the rose in bud with new love, the hope. All the way to the twisted wreckage of eternal night when feeling is crushed.
The love for friends, family. What is extended to lover, mate. The twisted face of unrequited. The fluttering in your belly when eyes seek you out. The comfort when a hand slides over yours. The joy when two bodies become one.
For m'self? No matter the outcome I am the phoenix reborn. I do not allow it to render me unfeeling or unkind. I let it embrace the special people in my life, touch them like rain and sustain them. And what is returned touches me like no other thing. No fear.
Seriously though, love is simply what it is. It is a force that drives us, one that repels us for it can bring hurt. It sneaks up on cats paw or hits you with the force of a hurricane. It is a very finite thing that humbles us all. Awe, agape. It knows no boundaries from beggar to King. Queen to scullery maid.
It is the force that moves within and without. What we strive for as human beings. Love is gentle and kind. Love is predator and foe. Nothing can bring one to such heights or smash them just as quickly upon the rocks of despair.
It is the rose in bud with new love, the hope. All the way to the twisted wreckage of eternal night when feeling is crushed.
The love for friends, family. What is extended to lover, mate. The twisted face of unrequited. The fluttering in your belly when eyes seek you out. The comfort when a hand slides over yours. The joy when two bodies become one.
For m'self? No matter the outcome I am the phoenix reborn. I do not allow it to render me unfeeling or unkind. I let it embrace the special people in my life, touch them like rain and sustain them. And what is returned touches me like no other thing. No fear.
I think true love is possible.
I have lots of love in my little ♥.
& I know a lot of people are going to mock me for saying this, but I don't really care...I feel the only reason we are capable of love is because of God.
I have lots of love in my little ♥.
& I know a lot of people are going to mock me for saying this, but I don't really care...I feel the only reason we are capable of love is because of God.
many fathers don't love their children at birth which is evidenced by the number of dead beat dads. a father doesn't nurture a child in utero. he doesn't feel a life growing inside of him and therefore does not develop the same biological bond as the mother.
but overtime a father who did not instinctively love his child at birth can grow to love...even moreso than the mother.
love just is...a feeling that takes time to develop and expand. it requires work, time and effort.
frankly i just think you're lazy. you want it to be easy. if love "just is" then that means you get to walk through your relationships without lifting a finger. if love "just is" then it can be given and granted to any and everybody.
maybe if people stopped expecting love to be a dime a dozen, people would work harder at achieving and sustaining it.
but overtime a father who did not instinctively love his child at birth can grow to love...even moreso than the mother.
love just is...a feeling that takes time to develop and expand. it requires work, time and effort.
frankly i just think you're lazy. you want it to be easy. if love "just is" then that means you get to walk through your relationships without lifting a finger. if love "just is" then it can be given and granted to any and everybody.
maybe if people stopped expecting love to be a dime a dozen, people would work harder at achieving and sustaining it.
Love is work, and well I know it. Absolutely it is possible to love easily for me. And I do extend it outward away from myself. When I say 'it simply is'..that is because it is a force of nature, something bigger than us all. IT IS WHAT IT IS. There is no rhyme or reason to it, ever. We love who we love, simple as that. And quite frankly the emotion is subjective. Every person shambling round will have a different spin on it. That is mine, what I believe, and I'll stand by it and strongly.
It is FEAR of the emotion that throws up guards, casts spells around the emotion that have no business being there. So bloody what if you get hurt. It's all part of the journey. I do still recall rising in the morning and seeing the sunrise, and it was as gorgeous as it ever was.
And as to the 'walking through relationships without lifting a finger", there again I disagree. But after you've had a marriage over a decade and children, get back to me on that one.
It is FEAR of the emotion that throws up guards, casts spells around the emotion that have no business being there. So bloody what if you get hurt. It's all part of the journey. I do still recall rising in the morning and seeing the sunrise, and it was as gorgeous as it ever was.
And as to the 'walking through relationships without lifting a finger", there again I disagree. But after you've had a marriage over a decade and children, get back to me on that one.
what you're referring to is love in spite of and i don't need marriage or a children to know, experience or understand love. love isn't a man. love isn't a child. love comes in many forms and relations.
the way the OP describes love, the notion that it "just is," just is a fallacy. based on the examples you gave, that's why marriages fail and parents suck. if love "just is" and by that rational endures, then love would conquer all. but it doesn't.
the divorce rate is what it is because of what love just isn't.
children in foster care, girl's being molested by mommy's bf, kids left to starve and fend for their own is what it is because of what love just isn't.
there IS a rhyme and a reason to it and without that reason, it falters. to love blindly is to be blind...blind to real dangers and pitfalls as well as the mountaintop.
the way the OP describes love, the notion that it "just is," just is a fallacy. based on the examples you gave, that's why marriages fail and parents suck. if love "just is" and by that rational endures, then love would conquer all. but it doesn't.
the divorce rate is what it is because of what love just isn't.
children in foster care, girl's being molested by mommy's bf, kids left to starve and fend for their own is what it is because of what love just isn't.
there IS a rhyme and a reason to it and without that reason, it falters. to love blindly is to be blind...blind to real dangers and pitfalls as well as the mountaintop.
or a child 🙂
Basically... love is a choice. It's not some unstoppable force.
Posted by caligula
many fathers don't love their children at birth which is evidenced by the number of dead beat dads. a father doesn't nurture a child in utero. he doesn't feel a life growing inside of him and therefore does not develop the same biological bond as the mother.
but overtime a father who did not instinctively love his child at birth can grow to love...even moreso than the mother.
love just is...a feeling that takes time to develop and expand. it requires work, time and effort.
frankly i just think you're lazy. you want it to be easy. if love "just is" then that means you get to walk through your relationships without lifting a finger. if love "just is" then it can be given and granted to any and everybody.
maybe if people stopped expecting love to be a dime a dozen, people would work harder at achieving and sustaining it.
I don't know, Tubby. I'm wary of most good emotion, which is why the pursuit or maintenance of true love seems impossible to me.
You can work to make it last, sure, but some of the best things in life come effortlessly.
And I feel love should be one of them:
Example; I can fight and argue with my aries brother a million times but the damage will never be long lasting.
Because there is unspoken acceptance between us.
The kind of love that has no beginning or end. You know, the person has always been there and will always be there.
Where you can't imagine life without them or how life was before them. They are too deep a part of your make-up.
That is what love is to me and that's the kind of love I strive to be a part of.
Whether romantic, brotherly and the love I have for close friends.
I think we're all capable of loving another.
& I think we are born with the inherent ability to love, even if we are never shown true love to learn from. It was exampled to us by God - agape love, supreme unconditional love.
If you choose not to love, because it's difficult for you, you are copping out.
& I think we are born with the inherent ability to love, even if we are never shown true love to learn from. It was exampled to us by God - agape love, supreme unconditional love.
If you choose not to love, because it's difficult for you, you are copping out.
Sometimes love really just happens, you know.
You just wake up one day realising you love someone. And you can't pinpoint the when, the how, or even the why.
You just wake up one day realising you love someone. And you can't pinpoint the when, the how, or even the why.
Posted by venusianbull
Love is work, and well I know it. Absolutely it is possible to love easily for me. And I do extend it outward away from myself. When I say 'it simply is'..that is because it is a force of nature, something bigger than us all. IT IS WHAT IT IS. There is no rhyme or reason to it, ever. We love who we love, simple as that. And quite frankly the emotion is subjective. Every person shambling round will have a different spin on it. That is mine, what I believe, and I'll stand by it and strongly.
It is FEAR of the emotion that throws up guards, casts spells around the emotion that have no business being there. So bloody what if you get hurt. It's all part of the journey. I do still recall rising in the morning and seeing the sunrise, and it was as gorgeous as it ever was.
And as to the 'walking through relationships without lifting a finger", there again I disagree. But after you've had a marriage over a decade and children, get back to me on that one.
EXACTLY.
SHIT happens. And then you love.
Exactly. And I'm not here to argue at all, just answer how I sees it. So I'll be Mother Teresa, love you all and kiss your cheek and keep on being a blind romantic. Because it's who I am. 🙂
That's the point of the whole thread. It ain't something you can control or contain ("I don't think I'm CAPABLE of true love").
To control/contain it, isn't to experience it.
Doctors and patients? A kind of true love. It's their JOB, sure, but to try and save the life of a stranger?
To control/contain it, isn't to experience it.
Doctors and patients? A kind of true love. It's their JOB, sure, but to try and save the life of a stranger?
I don't think I'm capable of love.
And guess what: I don't think YOU are capable of it, either.
I am not capable of running a 5 minute mile, that doesn't mean no one can.
Unchanging indestructible single-mindedness.
An unimaginable constant.
Like eternity.
With no beginning or end.
And I think a lot of you, single or no, feel the same way about lovng and being loved.
Deep down. No matter how loving your partner.
Simply because we don't know what love is, what we truly deserve or what we should give in return.
There are a lot of things that people don't fully understand. Rather than give up and stop trying, we name it and accept that we may not fully grasp it but it still exists. What is Gravity? Really, explain why and how it works. I'm sure someone here can, most people just accept it.
An even better comparison would be to your deity of choice (or lack thereof). People talk about a "higher power" but no one really knows what it is. No one knows which, if any, deity is the right one. Hell, it's possible that they are all just different interpretations of each other.
We may not be able to map out true love, that doesn't mean it isn't there.
I don't think it's smethng that should be given or taken, love.
I don't think it is. Have you ever TRIED to stop loving someone? You can let love die but you cannot kill it.
And guess what: I don't think YOU are capable of it, either.
I am not capable of running a 5 minute mile, that doesn't mean no one can.
Unchanging indestructible single-mindedness.
An unimaginable constant.
Like eternity.
With no beginning or end.
And I think a lot of you, single or no, feel the same way about lovng and being loved.
Deep down. No matter how loving your partner.
Simply because we don't know what love is, what we truly deserve or what we should give in return.
There are a lot of things that people don't fully understand. Rather than give up and stop trying, we name it and accept that we may not fully grasp it but it still exists. What is Gravity? Really, explain why and how it works. I'm sure someone here can, most people just accept it.
An even better comparison would be to your deity of choice (or lack thereof). People talk about a "higher power" but no one really knows what it is. No one knows which, if any, deity is the right one. Hell, it's possible that they are all just different interpretations of each other.
We may not be able to map out true love, that doesn't mean it isn't there.
I don't think it's smethng that should be given or taken, love.
I don't think it is. Have you ever TRIED to stop loving someone? You can let love die but you cannot kill it.
Ugh. It's hard for me to articulate what I mean, but I'll try....
Attachment/fondness for someone is what grows on you and can sneak up/surprise you. Not love.
For example, you may not have feelings for someone one way or the other initially, but the more time you spend with them and the more you see of them the more you grow fond of them and feel attached. But you still make the choice at that point to love them or not.
I agree, that sometimes you feel like you have little control over who you love, because it's not a completely conscience decision - similar to attraction in the first place. The only real conscience choice you make in love is to be open and accepting of it. BUT you can absolutely choose to close yourself off from it and refuse to love.
Attachment/fondness for someone is what grows on you and can sneak up/surprise you. Not love.
For example, you may not have feelings for someone one way or the other initially, but the more time you spend with them and the more you see of them the more you grow fond of them and feel attached. But you still make the choice at that point to love them or not.
I agree, that sometimes you feel like you have little control over who you love, because it's not a completely conscience decision - similar to attraction in the first place. The only real conscience choice you make in love is to be open and accepting of it. BUT you can absolutely choose to close yourself off from it and refuse to love.
Example; I can fight and argue with my aries brother a million times but the damage will never be long lasting.
my brother once said, in anger and frustration, that i killed my mom. i had moved out of state, i was not home when she passed away and that killed her.
afterward he apologized profusely. i forgave but didn't forget.
8 years later he said the same thing out of anger and frustration. i neither forgave this time nor will i forget. my relationship with my brother will never be the same. it's a choice i've made and i'm stubbornly sticking to it.
where one would think that familial bonds stand the test of time, never say never. rifts within family structures can and do occur and it takes a concerted effort to maintain and repair those bonds.
love isn't simple. if life isn't effortless, why would you presume that an emotion as complex as love should be? if you are stating that one is capable of waking up "in love," then to me, that doesn't denote simplicity. it would be akin to stating that the "big bang" was god's farting.
there are events that lead up to the creation just as there are events that lead to its destruction. i get the impression that you think that once it's created, that's it and if so, that's wrong.
ie god's fart may have created the cauldron by which life could develop but it took millions of years to manifest life as we know it. your view of love is actually finite...mine isn't.
my brother once said, in anger and frustration, that i killed my mom. i had moved out of state, i was not home when she passed away and that killed her.
afterward he apologized profusely. i forgave but didn't forget.
8 years later he said the same thing out of anger and frustration. i neither forgave this time nor will i forget. my relationship with my brother will never be the same. it's a choice i've made and i'm stubbornly sticking to it.
where one would think that familial bonds stand the test of time, never say never. rifts within family structures can and do occur and it takes a concerted effort to maintain and repair those bonds.
love isn't simple. if life isn't effortless, why would you presume that an emotion as complex as love should be? if you are stating that one is capable of waking up "in love," then to me, that doesn't denote simplicity. it would be akin to stating that the "big bang" was god's farting.
there are events that lead up to the creation just as there are events that lead to its destruction. i get the impression that you think that once it's created, that's it and if so, that's wrong.
ie god's fart may have created the cauldron by which life could develop but it took millions of years to manifest life as we know it. your view of love is actually finite...mine isn't.
what mr.awesome.facial.hair said
Posted by caligula
Example; I can fight and argue with my aries brother a million times but the damage will never be long lasting.
my brother once said, in anger and frustration, that i killed my mom. i had moved out of state, i was not home when she passed away and that killed her.
afterward he apologized profusely. i forgave but didn't forget.
8 years later he said the same thing out of anger and frustration. i neither forgave this time nor will i forget. my relationship with my brother will never be the same. it's a choice i've made and i'm stubbornly sticking to it.
where one would think that familial bonds stand the test of time, never say never. rifts within family structures can and do occur and it takes a concerted effort to maintain and repair those bonds.
love isn't simple. if life isn't effortless, why would you presume that an emotion as complex as love should be? if you are stating that one is capable of waking up "in love," then to me, that doesn't denote simplicity. it would be akin to stating that the "big bang" was god's farting.
there are events that lead up to the creation just as there are events that lead to its destruction. i get the impression that you think that once it's created, that's it and if so, that's wrong.
ie god's fart may have created the cauldron by which life could develop but it took millions of years to manifest life as we know it. your view of love is actually finite...mine isn't.
Perfectly understandable.
But this is and isn't about choice, perse.
You can choose not to love, but there are instances where you're in so deep that you have no choice anymore.
You don't WANT to have a choice in the matter anymore.
My relationship with my brother is an example. It isn't because he's my brother that I love him.
Or out of familial duty.
It's because he has become an extension of me.
I can't imagine life without him and I can't trace WHEN things become like this.
The understanding was reached and remains unspoken, which is why I say sometimes love just happens.
It's as though it has always been there. I can't imagine it ever leaving, no matter how terrible his crimes against me.
And this thread isn't about not TRYING lol
It is about accepting how powerless you are when it comes to love.
You may have a choice, initially, but you won't want one when shit gets deep.
And you may never know why.
It is about accepting how powerless you are when it comes to love.
You may have a choice, initially, but you won't want one when shit gets deep.
And you may never know why.
i also want to add that "love thy neighbor" is a wonderful concept. i think that it is what we would all strive to do, but what happens when your "neighbor" rapes, kills, maims a loved one?
the same people who ascribe to "WWJD" believe in the death penalty and would kill their "neighbor" with their own hands if the crime was heinous enough.
if love is simple, if it's so easy to turn the other cheek, then you would do as Jesus suggested. when someone strikes your cheek, you extend the other.
most people don't do this and if most people don't, then we operate based on what love ain't...not on what it "just is." if you allow solitary events to change your concept/belief in what love is, if love is a case-by-case thing then how is it "just is" anything?
the same people who ascribe to "WWJD" believe in the death penalty and would kill their "neighbor" with their own hands if the crime was heinous enough.
if love is simple, if it's so easy to turn the other cheek, then you would do as Jesus suggested. when someone strikes your cheek, you extend the other.
most people don't do this and if most people don't, then we operate based on what love ain't...not on what it "just is." if you allow solitary events to change your concept/belief in what love is, if love is a case-by-case thing then how is it "just is" anything?
Posted by caligula
Example; I can fight and argue with my aries brother a million times but the damage will never be long lasting.
there are events that lead up to the creation just as there are events that lead to its destruction. i get the impression that you think that once it's created, that's it and if so, that's wrong.
ie god's fart may have created the cauldron by which life could develop but it took millions of years to manifest life as we know it. your view of love is actually finite...mine isn't.
I just read this properly.
I guess it's just a losing versus keeping track of time thing.
I'm not saying the path to love settling is easy. Or not long. I'm saying it won't like it when realisation dawns.
It may take years or it may take seconds.
Either way, when it actually hits you, you'll know you're in it for the long run.
THAT is when you'll relinquish all control.
Posted by &2gedanow
You may have a choice, initially, but you won't want one when shit gets deep.
And you may never know why.
I agree with that. 🙂
Posted by &2gedanow
And this thread isn't about not TRYING lol
It is about accepting how powerless you are when it comes to love.
You may have a choice, initially, but you won't want one when shit gets deep.
And you may never know why.
you're evolving your OP which is fine but eh...
you won't want a choice when what gets deep? love? fuck yea i want a choice. i don't want to be out of control. people who are out of control in love are the same people who end up going NUTS during the loss of it. i never want to be so lost in love that i abandon reason. that's not love. that's stupidity 😛
Posted by caligulaPosted by &2gedanow
And this thread isn't about not TRYING lol
It is about accepting how powerless you are when it comes to love.
You may have a choice, initially, but you won't want one when shit gets deep.
And you may never know why.
you're evolving your OP which is fine but eh...
you won't want a choice when what gets deep? love? fuck yea i want a choice. i don't want to be out of control. people who are out of control in love are the same people who end up going NUTS during the loss of it. i never want to be so lost in love that i abandon reason. that's not love. that's stupidity 😛click to expand
Ah. The whole love thy neighbour rape maim scenario you gave? That's an example of love driven stupidity. f course you'll kill your neighbour if they hurt someone you love.
How'sabout if the rapist/maimist and the victim/maimee were BOTH people you loved?
The rapist MAY still have to die. Doesn't necessarily mean you'll hate them deeply enough to forget the GOOD that they had in them, is it?
Sooner or later I'm gonna end up contradicting myself. Such is life. One big phat phucking contradiction.
Posted by &2gedanowPosted by caligulaPosted by &2gedanow
And this thread isn't about not TRYING lol
It is about accepting how powerless you are when it comes to love.
You may have a choice, initially, but you won't want one when shit gets deep.
And you may never know why.
you're evolving your OP which is fine but eh...
you won't want a choice when what gets deep? love? fuck yea i want a choice. i don't want to be out of control. people who are out of control in love are the same people who end up going NUTS during the loss of it. i never want to be so lost in love that i abandon reason. that's not love. that's stupidity 😛
Ah. The whole love thy neighbour rape maim scenario you gave? That's an example of love driven stupidity. f course you'll kill your neighbour if they hurt someone you love.
How'sabout if the rapist/maimist and the victim/maimee were BOTH people you loved?
The rapist MAY still have to die. Doesn't necessarily mean you'll hate them deeply enough to forget the GOOD that they had in them, is it?
Sooner or later I'm gonna end up contradicting myself. Such is life. One big phat phucking contradiction.click to expand
😉
Haha
Posted by &2gedanowPosted by caligulaPosted by &2gedanow
And this thread isn't about not TRYING lol
It is about accepting how powerless you are when it comes to love.
You may have a choice, initially, but you won't want one when shit gets deep.
And you may never know why.
The rapist MAY still have to die. Doesn't necessarily mean you'll hate them deeply enough to forget the GOOD that they had in them, is it?
click to expand
To expand on this you'll always remember the good. Even after they're dead by your hands.
A part of you will always still feel love for them.
No matter how miniscule.
You can't ever forget the people that make an impact on your life. Good or bad.
And with regards to those who you've loved but don't seem to love anymore, long as you still feel something towards them you still do.
They've become a part of you.
LOL Why am I feeling the need for a Pampers and my van keys?
exactement!
which is why love "just is" more than what it just is.
which is why love "just is" more than what it just is.
Posted by venusianbull
LOL Why am I feeling the need for a Pampers and my van keys?
lol! that's exactly who i was thinking of when i wrote NUTS. except i think she had depends.
*shakes head*
Heheheheee I'll go get the cornstarch, those cross country journeys chafe.
Posted by &2gedanowPosted by &2gedanowPosted by caligulaPosted by &2gedanow
And this thread isn't about not TRYING lol
It is about accepting how powerless you are when it comes to love.
You may have a choice, initially, but you won't want one when shit gets deep.
And you may never know why.
The rapist MAY still have to die. Doesn't necessarily mean you'll hate them deeply enough to forget the GOOD that they had in them, is it?
To expand on this you'll always remember the good. Even after they're dead by your hands.
A part of you will always still feel love for them.
No matter how miniscule.
You can't ever forget the people that make an impact on your life. Good or bad.
And with regards to those who you've loved but don't seem to love anymore, long as you still feel something towards them you still do.
They've become a part of you.click to expand
maybe it's because i'm a taurus but there comes a point where i no longer love. i don't hate, but i don't love. i am very capable of feeling nothing in the end.
i want no ill will to befall the person. i don't relish in their destruction. i just simply don't give a shit. the person is no longer what i thought they were and i don't care who they evolve or become thereafter.
once i'm all tapped out, you can prime that pump and turn that spigot until your wrist is as cramped as a longshoreman's, i ain't got nothin for ya.
and where i can't say i wouldn't kill someone who harmed a loved one, intellectually, i wouldn't. changing my views due to circumstances means compromising who i am and i refuse to let any asshole wage that much power over me. that's why Jesus said turn the other cheek. it's not about being are martyring dumbass or a doormat. we simply can not let the terrorists win 😛
ouch
Posted by spica
...for the Aquarius ruled, their souls are split into many tiny pieces.. thus their love for humanity, and derision for exclusivity.
This post may have gone differently if you didn't know my sign but any way - ow!? Hurtful!? Really, really hurtful!?
*waggles finger*
Now now, Spica...
Now now, Spica...
Spica, come on!
Posted by caligula
many fathers don't love their children at birth which is evidenced by the number of dead beat dads. a father doesn't nurture a child in utero. he doesn't feel a life growing inside of him and therefore does not develop the same biological bond as the mother.
but overtime a father who did not instinctively love his child at birth can grow to love...even moreso than the mother.
love just is...a feeling that takes time to develop and expand. it requires work, time and effort.
frankly i just think you're lazy. you want it to be easy. if love "just is" then that means you get to walk through your relationships without lifting a finger. if love "just is" then it can be given and granted to any and everybody.
maybe if people stopped expecting love to be a dime a dozen, people would work harder at achieving and sustaining it.
I fell in love the very second my daughter looked at me. That's was few minutes after she was born.
When my daughter first looked at me I felt joy and sadness at the same time. I was sad because I felt that life was so unfair because she couldn't live forever.
v for vendetta is one of my favoritest movies conceptually. i've probably seen it a good 20+ times and now that you mention it, i shall watch it tonight.
WOO!
i think the scene DP referred to embodies the notion of "agape" but the moral is, evey could only fully grasp the notion of it/valerie's love when it was denied her which is why v did what he did.
i think we all aspire to agape in theory but in practice? HA! i think that's why some of the stories in the bible or other spiritual texts resonate so loudly.
it doesn't matter if Job existed and endured those horrors. it doesn't matter if the crucifixion transpired as ascribed. at their core what the stories teach us is that love should be ever lasting, principled and enduring. that our love of "god" should never cease no matter how rough times get. and where the god of the old testament demanded unconditional love from us and smote us when it was denied him, the god of the new testament granted us his unconditional love in turn...the notion that seeking forgiveness can erase sin in the eye's of god.
what i personally seek in a partner is a guy who knows i am striving to love unconditionally and who will unconditionally love. this does not mean that neither of us is infallible but rather that when i/he sins, repentance and forgiveness are musts. i think that when you set the bar high for love, your less likely to succumb to common pitfalls and where the relationship may not endure, the love will.
^that's easier said than done and i believe, unlike the OP, that loving purely and unconditionally is not rooted in uncontrollable feelings. loving unconditionally and forgiveness is a choice. it's about maintaining control and making choices based on something other than pure impulse.
WOO!
i think the scene DP referred to embodies the notion of "agape" but the moral is, evey could only fully grasp the notion of it/valerie's love when it was denied her which is why v did what he did.
i think we all aspire to agape in theory but in practice? HA! i think that's why some of the stories in the bible or other spiritual texts resonate so loudly.
it doesn't matter if Job existed and endured those horrors. it doesn't matter if the crucifixion transpired as ascribed. at their core what the stories teach us is that love should be ever lasting, principled and enduring. that our love of "god" should never cease no matter how rough times get. and where the god of the old testament demanded unconditional love from us and smote us when it was denied him, the god of the new testament granted us his unconditional love in turn...the notion that seeking forgiveness can erase sin in the eye's of god.
what i personally seek in a partner is a guy who knows i am striving to love unconditionally and who will unconditionally love. this does not mean that neither of us is infallible but rather that when i/he sins, repentance and forgiveness are musts. i think that when you set the bar high for love, your less likely to succumb to common pitfalls and where the relationship may not endure, the love will.
^that's easier said than done and i believe, unlike the OP, that loving purely and unconditionally is not rooted in uncontrollable feelings. loving unconditionally and forgiveness is a choice. it's about maintaining control and making choices based on something other than pure impulse.
Posted by XfactorPosted by caligula
many fathers don't love their children at birth which is evidenced by the number of dead beat dads. a father doesn't nurture a child in utero. he doesn't feel a life growing inside of him and therefore does not develop the same biological bond as the mother.
but overtime a father who did not instinctively love his child at birth can grow to love...even moreso than the mother.
love just is...a feeling that takes time to develop and expand. it requires work, time and effort.
frankly i just think you're lazy. you want it to be easy. if love "just is" then that means you get to walk through your relationships without lifting a finger. if love "just is" then it can be given and granted to any and everybody.
maybe if people stopped expecting love to be a dime a dozen, people would work harder at achieving and sustaining it.
I fell in love the very second my daughter looked at me. That's was few minutes after she was born.
When my daughter first looked at me I felt joy and sadness at the same time. I was sad because I felt that life was so unfair because she couldn't live forever.click to expand
i said MANY fathers...not all.
Posted by EmotionalMoonPosted by XfactorPosted by caligula
many fathers don't love their children at birth which is evidenced by the number of dead beat dads. a father doesn't nurture a child in utero. he doesn't feel a life growing inside of him and therefore does not develop the same biological bond as the mother.
but overtime a father who did not instinctively love his child at birth can grow to love...even moreso than the mother.
love just is...a feeling that takes time to develop and expand. it requires work, time and effort.
frankly i just think you're lazy. you want it to be easy. if love "just is" then that means you get to walk through your relationships without lifting a finger. if love "just is" then it can be given and granted to any and everybody.
maybe if people stopped expecting love to be a dime a dozen, people would work harder at achieving and sustaining it.
We can learn a lot from children
I fell in love the very second my daughter looked at me. That's was few minutes after she was born.
When my daughter first looked at me I felt joy and sadness at the same time. I was sad because I felt that life was so unfair because she couldn't live forever.
That is right every body raves about the mother insinct... but I beleive in nuturing and men are capable of that too.
You were possbily lucky enough to look at her at the right time. After a child is born just before they fall to sleep they have this alert period its very primal I felt my little girl knew all lifes secrets and she was so wise.... they seem to loose it as time goes on. Its hard to explain.click to expand
Love will happen in an instant or take years. Regardless of the origin, it becomes an active choice. If you can choose not to love then you are just as capable of choosing to love. Should love be measured by time alone?
Is it quality or quantity? That is a choice as well. Are you a serial monogamist, happy to enjoy it while it lasts but just as willing to let it go when it doesn't feel good anymore? Or is it everlasting/unconditional love where both people must make a conscious effort. This unveils our true character. Love is what we make of it and it is our choice once we have grasped it.
Do you have what it takes to make it last? That might be the real question here rather than question love itself. It's only an emotion, just as elusive as any other. Love requires a commitment to make it last. Commitment is not the same as being sexually exclusive as it is often portrayed. Commitment is the promise to hold the love you both cherished as a priority in your lives.
Is it quality or quantity? That is a choice as well. Are you a serial monogamist, happy to enjoy it while it lasts but just as willing to let it go when it doesn't feel good anymore? Or is it everlasting/unconditional love where both people must make a conscious effort. This unveils our true character. Love is what we make of it and it is our choice once we have grasped it.
Do you have what it takes to make it last? That might be the real question here rather than question love itself. It's only an emotion, just as elusive as any other. Love requires a commitment to make it last. Commitment is not the same as being sexually exclusive as it is often portrayed. Commitment is the promise to hold the love you both cherished as a priority in your lives.
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account →Related Topics
I noticed that a lot of people on this forum like to throw around terms. Like narcissist...read that one a lot last w
I don't normally brag on myself but I am proud today. Several months ago I decided to loose a lot of weight. I have lo
*****WARNING: THIS THREAD MAY BE OFFENSIVE TO SOME. AND I BET THEY'RE STRAIGHT****** Gay people; the flamboyant girl-
We're talking top to bottom, head to toe relaxation here. I don't know how and I'm tired of being so tensed-up all t
do you guys believe in profits??check out mother shiptons prophcy this is dated in the 1800's. And now a word, in uncou
coke or pepsi! chose your side!
Help! So it looks like I'm participating in a Pajama program for kids. The Pajama Program provides new pajamas and
People tell me things. Very personal things. They could be loved ones or strangers. I'm not surprised if someone I cared
Why did sense not slap me in the face sooner!!!!
^^^^^^this one always makes me simile :D
It has been recently brought to my attention that there are quite a few users who have long standing fake user accounts/
This is for James Tate
I did want to hijack the Halloween thread so starting this topic. What is the scariest movie and movie scene ever for y
i love the Autumn season because of pumpkin pie i love it so much im a sucker for them i go crazy if someone eats the la
lmao!:P best part~ what about my ball sack. hahahaha.
Hey all! At my 20 week appointment my ultrasound showed I had partial placenta previa. Has anyone else had this and if
idk but with most women ive known.... they are always late. haha so post.
Alright,look here.....I got a question for everyone. Guys this ones for you.... are you guys like disgusted when a la
Isn't it amazing how suddenly Christmas appears the first day of Autumn? I haven't quite figured out where the holidays
And guess what: I don't think YOU are capable of it, either.
Because "love" is like "forever": it's inconcievable. Your head'll pop trying to pin it down.
Still, I'll try:
A lot of us singletons hope to find it one day. A lot of you monogamites THINK you've found it.
But we all share the common idea deep down that we're, well, undeserving.
I personally can't imagine being "loved" by anyone.
I don't know if it's because I won't LET myself be or because I don't know if I can reciprocate the emotion I'm thinking about:
Unchanging indestructible single-mindedness.
An unimaginable constant.
Like eternity.
With no beginning or end.
And I think a lot of you, single or no, feel the same way about lovng and being loved.
Deep down. No matter how loving your partner.
Simply because we don't know what love is, what we truly deserve or what we should give in return.
It's just an un(in?)containable thing.
I don't think we're meant to love just ONE person.
I think love is so huge that it's meant for everyone.
An impossible and unachievable commitment.