what makes someone a slut?

What's the general opinion? What's the defining criteria of a slut?

Is it number of sexual partners? Does the length of time matter? For example 30 partners over a 20 year period. Vs 30 partners over 10 years or whatever.

I hope people aren't still referring to tightness or looseness to determine if a chick is a slut or not. Cuz a chick that fucked 20 dudes with small dicks is gonna be tighter than a chick who's boyfriend is very well endowed right?

K next. Is it the attitude toward sex? Some people have a detached feeling toward sex, some value it to the extreme. Does this depend on who you ask?

Do you think once a ho always? Cuz hoes never close they open like hallways? Haha but for real, do you think some one could have been a slut at one point or been slutty but that's not who they are anymore?

Do you want to know every dirty dark secret of a person's past sexual history? Or if it's not relevant anymore is it better left unsaid? Is it ever not relevant anymore?

N?mero 1- the vagina is a contracting muscle. It is fully possible for a woman who has had a child or 4 or more to have a tighter vagina than a person who has had little to no sex. Kegels are one way to strengthen those muscles, another is sex.
Although I am basically a prude when it comes to sex unless I've been in a relationship with someone for several years, I don't think that anyone who has lots of sex with different partners is a slut. I do think that more people should learn about how their bodies function and learn to be responsible and cautious when choosing partners.

Posted by tiziani
Why just women?

/scores progressive points from downtown. Nothing but net.

True, true. It's just... come on now we all know there's a double standard.

Either way, guy or girl... how do you define it? Can it be pinned down to a certain thing(s)?

Posted by arietteheart2
If I have to define it Id say it's more in the way that someone carries themselves.

Care to elaborate?

Well honestly I'm thinking of my own. I just want to compare notes?

I'm far from squeaky clean, but it's my past.. Not my present or future. Just asking questions is all

Posted by FrostAndBite
I wasn't being accusatory or passive aggressive. I truly wonder why women so often talk about sex in such a way. Men don't. Men don't wonder over their sexual history and relate it to their romantic stock. Men don't compare their sex life to other men and then internalize judgements about themselves based on that.

I'm not trying to be mean. I guess I just don't see the relevancy of asking something like that. I don't ask these things or talk about them so I've always wondered why others do.

Idk I guess I'm just thinking about things and kinda feeling guilty because the one I'm with now doesn't know everything. Doesn't even know my number. I wouldn't tell him cuz his is like 3 and I'm like... dude new subject.

I guess it's all dependant on what I'm comparing to. Because I'm comparing to him... idk... I'm feeling like he would think different if he knew.

But then I'm thinking... does it need to be said? Is it relevant?

Posted by tiziani
My past is a part of me but after the year I've had I'm starting to understand my choices today are different. Because with more experience I have a better understanding of my past.

I can count all my sexual partners on one hand. What I've done with them would often be seen as depraved in a lot of people's eyes who've slept with 20, 30, 90 people. I know because one of them was my ex and she left me partly for my tastes 😈

So stick and stones really.

Being freaky doesn't make you a slut in my book. But then that's what it all comes down to. My book, your book. This compared to this. Is there really a universal slut? What's slutty to one is normal to another. Right? Lol idk... fucking racing mind

Posted by size zero superhero
Everyone's definition is different, and often relative to their own sexual history. That's where this gets problematic; considering there are probably "technical virgins" who've compensated for their abstinence via oral/anal with eleventy-five different partners, claiming the person who's had PIV sex with two previous partners is a dirty hoar for giving it up.

I'm gonna go with: one who offers sexual services, or solicits sex in exchange for payment. A hooker.

Lol

Posted by tiziani
My past is a part of me but after the year I've had I'm starting to understand my choices today are different. Because with more experience I have a better understanding of my past.

I can count all my sexual partners on one hand. What I've done with them would often be seen as depraved in a lot of people's eyes who've slept with 20, 30, 90 people. I know because one of them was my ex and she left me partly for my tastes 😈

So stick and stones really.

Hmph. I wasn't teasing when I referenced Christian Grey. *sip tea*

I dunno-let's throw a proposal together and see if we can get the gov't to fund us to study the question-

Posted by FrostAndBite
I wasn't being accusatory or passive aggressive. I truly wonder why women so often talk about sex in such a way. Men don't. Men don't wonder over their sexual history and relate it to their romantic stock. Men don't compare their sex life to other men and then internalize judgements about themselves based on that.

I'm not trying to be mean. I guess I just don't see the relevancy of asking something like that. I don't ask these things or talk about them so I've always wondered why others do.

To bring each other down.

To me it's someone who has sex anywhere, anytime & with anyone. Someone with kids but doesn't know who the fathers are.

I grew up with someone like that, she now has 6 or 7 kids but I only knows the father of 1.

Posted by RainDancer88
I haven't read anything in this thread other than the title. Shame on you.

Nothing makes anyone a "slut." Who are any of you to judge or put criteria on a hateful and derogatory name anyways?

This is hateful slander, it's true ugliness.

Know what makes a slut? The same thing that makes you post a thread about it.

Oh, spare me. You're judging right now & so unaware of it.

You make them a slut.

Posted by Impulsv
Women stop feeling inadequate for having too little for having too much!!!

You're right. It's just odd that the too much or too little is so subjective. In my case, in comparison, it's too much. . In my previous relationship it was more even in terms of sexual partners, I didn't feel the need to avoid it like this.

This guy doesn't even ask me really, I'm not sure if he is really interested. But I feel like I should tell him, like he has the right to know.

But then I go back and forth like does he have the right to know? It's in the past and long before him... Not like I can change any of it. Idk. I don't like to have secrets though

Ppl who sleep
Around

Posted by size zero superhero

Posted by AriesIntrovert16

Posted by FrostAndBite
I wasn't being accusatory or passive aggressive. I truly wonder why women so often talk about sex in such a way. Men don't. Men don't wonder over their sexual history and relate it to their romantic stock. Men don't compare their sex life to other men and then internalize judgements about themselves based on that.

I'm not trying to be mean. I guess I just don't see the relevancy of asking something like that. I don't ask these things or talk about them so I've always wondered why others do.

To bring each other down.

That and maybe in attempt to lift themselves up a notch in the pecking order, too.
Sometimes when people are celibate/abstinent from sex for an extended period, they're not doing so by choice/out of moral conviction--but due to current circumstance, or lack of desirable options(or options, period).

Some in this boat don't readily admit the real reason(s)why they've been out of the game. Guys that aren't getting any action typically blame girls for that; while women who haven't been getting any either blame men or make a moral statement out of it, a testimony to their exceptional strength of character.

Why do people need others to validate their current decision, as long as it suits them? You are the only person directly affected by said choices so who cares what others have to say about it?

click to expand

I agree with you. There's people here that do it. Often. I've been lurking allot and just reading and that may have started my thought process on this.

But it is clear ti me that one size doesn't fit all. It depends on lots of things. Its an abstract thing, it can't really be black or white.

Your last paragraph... it is mostly true. But I just wonder if that might apply to me also. I should not try to validate, you're right. But, I feel like my choices might not only affect me. It depends on how others choose to let it affect them. does that make sense?

To me, there are a few people whose opinions do matter and his is important. I feel like I'm gonna taint his image of me.

As far as other people go, idgaf how they feel about how I've lived my life. Him, though... I do.

The men who use her as such and then brag about it to others 😱

"what makes someone a slut?"

The female who chooses to be. Men don't make sluts, they just fuck them. It's the female's choice to allow men to fuck them. If it's not her choice it's rape. Anything short of that, it's a choice.

No excuses, no pretty stories, if there's a dick being offered, a female has a choice to suck it, fuck it or sit on it.

or not..

It simply comes down to that.

Posted by aquapiscescusp
The men who use her as such and then brag about it to others 😱

If she chose to be used it was her choice.

..now if the question was why do women choose to be a slut?

There are a plethora of answers for that too.

Posted by FrostAndBite
Mayday, if you carry the idea that your romantic and sexual history makes you less desirable than it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. Is this something he even cares about or are you projecting your own insecurity?

Would you desire this man's acceptance of you to the point you shame yourself in order to get it?

Comparing your life to others is pointless. Circumstances of others might be similar, but no one else's life can create comfort and security for you. You have to make that for yourself.

You are so AWESOME!

You're right, I'm projecting. Like I said he hasn't even asked again since our initial convo about it months ago. Maybe a year Idk. And you're right, I shouldn't shame myself. I can't change the past only make different choices today and moving forward. That's all I can do. If it comes out and he can't accept it then it is what it is.

Posted by Rabbit
May...

The past is the past. It no longer exists. The only thing you should be concerned about is what actually exists, and that is the present moment. That is all that matters. You're with him, and he's with you at the present moment.

Truth be told he doesn't need to know about your past. Do you want to know about his? If you were to ask him about it, would you want him to think back to the other women? Do you want to start a cycle of comparison/judging of exes vs. present?

Leave it be. It doesn't matter now unless you let it matter.

Enjoy the present and the future. The past is irrelevant.

I would really like this to sink in but it's hard for me. The past makes us who we are, so to know why you are the way you are, have to be aware of the past. I just don't want there to be stuff he doesn't know I guess. Like I feel deceitful in a way.

I still haven't decided if I should just let it go or just spit it out. It makes more sense to.just leave it the fuck alone if it's not being brought up, but man... I'm thinking like I might want to marry this guy one day. And if he doesn't know everything... if he can't take me for everything I am .. well that's obviously a deal breaker. Idk.

Either one of two:

Defines themselves *primarily* as sexually desirable/good in the sack. This isn't to say that everyone connected to their sexuality are sluts. But if that's the biggest or only way they see themselves...

People who don't care about the consequences of sex. These are people who won't use condoms with their one night stand because it "feels better" raw dog. College students and married professors having sex in exchange for a higher grade. Etc

I don't think I'm a slut, really. I think in the past I had slutty tendencies. But that's not who I am now. Wouldn't make the same choices now.

Posted by LetltB

Posted by aquapiscescusp
The men who use her as such and then brag about it to others 😱

If she chose to be used it was her choice.

click to expand

Yeah you're right...

Thanks feby 🙂

Its a work in progress. Over anaylizing is my thing... hard thought pattern to break

Posted by FrostAndBite
I wasn't being accusatory or passive aggressive. I truly wonder why women so often talk about sex in such a way. Men don't. Men don't wonder over their sexual history and relate it to their romantic stock. Men don't compare their sex life to other men and then internalize judgements about themselves based on that.

I'm not trying to be mean. I guess I just don't see the relevancy of asking something like that. I don't ask these things or talk about them so I've always wondered why others do.

Because our culture tells women that it's taboo to think and talk like this. Society tends to repress women sexually more than men. Men don't feel the need to because they don't have any societal constrictions in place against them.

To rocky... yea, that's exactly how it is. That was actually why I went through my phase of thinking about sex like "like a guy". I was a lot more rebellious and just the thought that I'm not supposed to do something made me want to do it. Females aren't supposed to hook up and never call him back. We aren't supposed to booty call the guy. Have sex with out being in a relationship. I had just gotten hurt but these types of guys so I turned into it myself. I don't regret my experience because it made me who I am, I wouldn't know what I do if I hadn't chosen the harder way. But... the notches on my belt lol. There could be a few less.

To star... It's ironic that you're talking about how the double standard will change. You keep it alive. You pass you're views onto woman here about sex quite a bit... correct me if I'm wrong. Size zero made a comment.about some woman who use sex or their lack of it to raise themselves up and strengthen their morality. Basically, like you think you're better than other woman cuz you don't do that shit or you're men are "pure" because they are virgins and etc. So you have basically called me and others like me impure. Sorry to single you out, but I've seen it most from you of all the females here.

No, you don't push my buttons 😉 Just you're uppity attitude about it is the exact opposite of trying to move woman forward away from the double standard.

Posts in particular? I know the one with the AG chick. Also... you and mr. Firebird smh. I really just skip right over most of that when you both are on a thread talking about sex.

I'm really too lazy to quote. Surely you know how you respond to sex on others threads?

You act like it really impacts my life. That's not the case. It's just something I've noticed, and since you are commenting on my thread I'm sharing my opinion with you.

The reason it bothers me, or more like I disagree with it, is that you pass judgement if someone is not living according to your standards. Telling people how long they should wait until they have sex in a new relationship, like you hold all the secrets. Are you in a relationship? How do you know when the appropriate amount of time is? And who are toy to tell anybody what's right or wrong? Maybe there is more than one right or wrong. Maybe there's a right and wrong for every single person.

Oh and I see that you keep trying to make little jabs. I let myself be a little vulnerable, that's cool you're trying to poke it.

It's your life, and if the way you live it makes you happy and works for you that's great. I'm trying to work through my past, which you do not.relate to, so your view on it Isn't really helpful

I'm not saying never comment on a thread. You're free to do whatever you'd like it's just this particular subject we are worlds apart.

I love Scorpios, I even value LIBs harsh ass opinions. I'll take harsh over judgy and condescending any day of the week.

I'm glad I'm the cheese though. Cheese is delicious 🙂

Star, I don't think you are a horrible person. I don't, and maybe I'm just reading you totally wrong. But here's my interpretation.

LIB comes off like an asshole lol. She says what she wants to who she wants. Shes blunt and harsh, yea maybe preachy too. The difference... she doesn't make herself look good really. Like I don't think she says things to try to step on people's character to make herself appear better. In fact, she appears like an asshole. I mean it in the nicest way LIB, if you read this. But the fact that she doesn't care, like her opinion or kiss her ass. That's it. I can respect it even if I don't agree.

I feel like you try to step on people's character to build yours up. You make yourself appear to be better. I can't respect that.

Like I said, I could be way off. But that's how it comes off to me. Maybe you don't even realize it. Maybe I just have it twisted *shrug*

Oh geez, give it a rest mayday! Who cares?

Well, I was talking to star. Not you.

If you don't care then pass it by.

Posted by MayDay31
Well, I was talking to star. Not you.

If you don't care then pass it by.

hmm, it's an open forum hon, I get to comment if I like 😉

Don, I asked you a question on the aqua board... care to answer?

Posted by aquapiscescusp

Posted by MayDay31
Well, I was talking to star. Not you.

If you don't care then pass it by.

hmm, it's an open forum hon, I get to comment if I like 😉

click to expand

Hmm well then I can continue as long as I'd like 😛

Thanks hun

Posted by DonAmanMarat
MayDay...

Are you a Slut with a Hole in your Butt?

Nope! However, I do have a hole in my butt. Exit only 🙂

Posted by tiziani
It's better if you are hazed on DXP for your worst fears, that way real life will seem like a walk in the park!

Ya know tiz, I try to be honest with myself. Even if it's not pretty. If people use it against me, so be it. Talking about it makes me more comfortable with my issues.