White lies

What's the impression you get from people who do this?

Do you think they're generally untrustworthy because of it? Or does it take bigger lies in order to file them into that category?

What's the overall view you have on these? Harmless or leading to possibly bigger issues?

This is a bit of an issue with me as I think it is very prevalent among FEMALES in particular. Even though I know it is often done in order to avoid hurting the other person's feelings I feel that it would be better to try to find a TACTFUL way of getting across what you really think (or at least hinting at it) otherwise in the end it can cause mistrust and therefore damage to relationships. Also it is kind of a "slippery slope" scenario as how do you define what is a "white" lie and what is not? Once you have justified (to yourself) that lying is sometimes OK where do you draw the line? Also what is the motivation for wanting to avoid hurting the other person's feelings? Ultimately it may be not necessarily about caring about the other person's feelings as such but rather the desire to avoid confrontation. But sometimes confrontation may be necessary and putting it off may make it worse when it eventually does happen.

White lies is to protect you. Lol. We could be blunt and hurt your feelings. But white lies is what's best at times.

You can trust all you want. Everyone lies and then once you can't trust anymore bye bye. Can turn into a pathological liar. Then we have a problem with whatever comes out your mouth.

Lies are lies. Most of the time you can tell someone the truth without being an asshole about it. You don't need to protect the truth, it can handle itself.

IMHO, if you lie in small matters, you will also lie in big matters. (Assuming we're talking about adults addressing each other here)

Posted by CancerOnTheCusp
IMHO, if you lie in small matters, you will also lie in big matters. (Assuming we're talking about adults addressing each other here)

Yes.

If you lie about nothing, you'll surely lie about something.

Posted by KVZZMIR11
Its hard to take someone serious after you catch them in even 1 lie.

Damn strait. Lyres can burn in eternal hellll n damnation for allll eterneteeeeee

Posted by Wynter

Posted by KVZZMIR11
Its hard to take someone serious after you catch them in even 1 lie.

Damn strait. Lyres can burn in eternal hellll n damnation for allll eterneteeeeee

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Lyres.. harps... music IS the debil's instrument.

Or so I've heard.

😄

Posted by Montgomery

Posted by Wynter

Posted by KVZZMIR11
Its hard to take someone serious after you catch them in even 1 lie.

Damn strait. Lyres can burn in eternal hellll n damnation for allll eterneteeeeee

Lyres.. harps... music IS the debil's instrument.

Or so I've heard.

😄

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Ha! 😆

Posted by KVZZMIR11

Posted by piscorp

Posted by KVZZMIR11
Its hard to take someone serious after you catch them in even 1 lie.

Have you ever lied about anything to anyone?

I try to be conscious about telling the truth as much as possible...there will be occasions where I will keep silent and shrug.

There is no lie in silence.

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This.

I will reply that things are not your business. I'll even warn you not to ask questions you don't want an answer to. Lies are designed to protect the liar. I'd rather be hated for being honest.

The holier-than-thou is strong in this one.

All of you jackasses lie.

In a job interview for a crap job, did you actually tell them that you only want the job because you need money?

After a bad date, do you actually tell them so? Or do you just say, "It was great meeting you! Drive safe."

When you get pulled over, and they ask if you know why they pulled you over, do you rattle off a list of laws you know you've been breaking? Or do you say "no sir" on autopilot?

If you have a close friend who's suicidally depressed because he feels like he's stupid, and you think he really is, are you "honest" enough to tell him that you think he indeed is stupid?

If a creepy guy asks for your last name, do you actually give him your real last name? Or tell him no and deal with an angry creep? Or do you just give him a fake last name so you can get out of there in one piece?

These are all white lies. They're necessary for self-preservation. We're not talking about a husband lying about catching crabs from his mistress, or embezzling charity money or anything like that.

As an experiment, you can try being honest about EVERY. SINGLE. THING. No lying by omission either, so you must say exactly what you think!

I can virtually guarantee you, within 3 months, you'll be in jail, dead or living in a cardboard box under a bridge.

Every job is because u want the money. I have a good career and I'm a smart guy. When I interview for jobs we discuss how I can help the company. They already know they are buying my service...that's what a job is. If you don't like yours, get a better one.

If I don't like someone, I don't pretend I do. No I won't say it was nice meeting them if it wasn't. Again, you can tell the truth without being a jerk. There's no need to lead someone on.

I've only been pulled over once in the last five years. When asked if I knew why, I replied, "I have an idea, but you go first". He laughed and gave me the same ticket I'd have gotten if I played stupid.

If someone is so stupid there only option really is suicide, I'd have probably stopped talking to them a long time ago. I don't like stupid people. That gets back to not pretending to like people you don't... Anyway, my friends have at least something going for them. If they were depressed I'd pick them up with truth, not lies.

I'm a big dude so creepy guys usually leave me alone. I'm scarier than most of them anyway. I have no problem telling someone to fuck off.

You're right those are all opportunities for you to lie to save yourself. I still choose to deal in truths.

In response to this of course...

Posted by SUPERJERKASS
The holier-than-thou is strong in this one.

All of you jackasses lie.

In a job interview for a crap job, did you actually tell them that you only want the job because you need money?

After a bad date, do you actually tell them so? Or do you just say, "It was great meeting you! Drive safe."

When you get pulled over, and they ask if you know why they pulled you over, do you rattle off a list of laws you know you've been breaking? Or do you say "no sir" on autopilot?

If you have a close friend who's suicidally depressed because he feels like he's stupid, and you think he really is, are you "honest" enough to tell him that you think he indeed is stupid?

If a creepy guy asks for your last name, do you actually give him your real last name? Or tell him no and deal with an angry creep? Or do you just give him a fake last name so you can get out of there in one piece?

These are all white lies. They're necessary for self-preservation. We're not talking about a husband lying about catching crabs from his mistress, or embezzling charity money or anything like that.

As an experiment, you can try being honest about EVERY. SINGLE. THING. No lying by omission either, so you must say exactly what you think!

I can virtually guarantee you, within 3 months, you'll be in jail, dead or living in a cardboard box under a bridge.

Posted by KVZZMIR11

Posted by piscorp

Posted by KVZZMIR11
Its hard to take someone serious after you catch them in even 1 lie.

Have you ever lied about anything to anyone?

I try to be conscious about telling the truth as much as possible...there will be occasions where I will keep silent and shrug.

There is no lie in silence.

click to expand

avoiding the truth by being silent doesn't make you any better LOL

I'm not saying never. And I reserve the right to lie should I ever feel the need. I'm just saying some people feel that need way too often. Trust matters to some people. Don't lie to someone who trusts you and don't trust someone who lies to you.

I asked this because something a friend had lied about got me thinking about this overall. The lie in itself was a pretty small one, but it was strange because it was so stupid and meaningless to lie about. I also just recalled another instance, too. The funny part is that Facebook is what outed these lies. During small talk about our weekends, I was told that nothing really happened. Just worked. Pictures popped up of partying that happened that weekend.

Mkay. Whatever. I thought it was odd since I didn't care and I don't hang out with that circle of friends, so it's not like it was a lack of invite or some bs.

Recently, I was told that a bbq place was visited for dinner. Facebook showed them checked in at a pizza place by another friend.

It's just so strange to me because it seems like stupid shit to lie about. And like others have said, it does lead me to wonder what else is being lied about. Is it just some weird thing or is this individual a compulsive liar? Who knows.

Generally, sometimes white lies to diffuse a situation or something trivial to omit to avoid problems is one thing. But overall, if someone relies too much on white lies when it's not necessary deems them kind of untrustworthy.

I think it really depends on what the white lie is used for. But as someone said, being truthful can be done without hurting someone. And if someone doesn't like the truth, chances are they live with their heads up their asses, sorry.

White lies are no big deal and it's an excuse used to protect someone from getting hurt? Well I know who not to go in regard to advice, input, etc... Is that person truly reliable when you need to go to them for something when all they'll do is tell white lies to "protect" you?

Overall, I think there's a time and a place. Sadly, I think people tend to overdo it with "white lies" for personal gain in some way, shape, or form. Honesty is seen as being "mean" and it's pretty sad.

Posted by size zero superhero

Posted by rockyroadicecream

Recently, I was told that a bbq place was visited for dinner. Facebook showed them checked in at a pizza place by another friend.

Generally, sometimes white lies to diffuse a situation or something trivial to omit to avoid problems is one thing. But overall, if someone relies too much on white lies when it's not necessary deems them kind of untrustworthy.
I think people tend to overdo it with "white lies" for personal gain in some way, shape, or form.

Yeah, that example strikes me as a form of senseless lying i.e. falsifying details just for the hell of it.

I mean, logically, a third party presumably wouldn't care whether someone they knew ate dinner at a BBQ joint or a pizza place on any given day. The motive for lying about that is completely unclear.

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Right? It's why I started thinking about the topic generally. Overall, white lies are harmless and whatever. That's why they have references to "little white lies." But in situations where there's some wtfery as to why one lied... it just comes off so strange. :/

I was thinking about this thread last night when talking to someone. All my interactions with this person reaffirm my position that lying and habitual liars, suck. I told her that "telling a whole bunch of little lies still makes you a big liar". Like the lawyer boyfriend mentioned above, I just can't deal with someone who lies all the time. If it's such little unimportant stuff, why do by our gotta lie?

Damn auto correct.

If it's such little unimportant stuff, why do you gotta lie?

It depends on the white lies. I do find it harmless in general but if it becomes habitual or if that person lies about silly things like what they ate for lunch, where they went or some superficial crap just to make a false impression, then I wouldn't trust them.