Will my husband lose his Social Security Benefits if I go to college?

Me and my husband are both in our 20's. My husband is disabled and receives SSI Benefits. He has a physical disability which makes it hard for him to walk over a period of four hours which prevents him from working. He said he is willing to work but he graduated high school with an IEP Diploma which makes it hard for him to find work. He has brought up going to get his high school diploma but we know it's going to take him time to complete. Things are extra hard because I am the sole provider for me, my husband and my child who is a toddler from a previous relationship. I am working part time right now struggling to make ends meet. I am tired of living from paycheck to paycheck having to work two jobs just to make ends meet. I want to make a career and do something I enjoy doing. This beauty school called Continental has a Nail Tech. and Esthetics Program I want to attend. Being a Nail Tech. was always my dream. My husband has not told the social security office the truth regarding our relationship(marriage) because he doesn't want to lose his benefits. His grandmother went to his recent SSI appt appt. with him and told them my husband hasn't seen or heard from me in months. during this appt. During the appt my husband was going to take control of his money but he didn't follow through with it. His grandmother is still his payee which makes things harder because he can't make any decisions regarding his money without consulting her. He does not see or get any of his money. My husband went with me to the college since I had an appt. to see an admissions advisor at the school. He came in the office with me and the lady saw our rings on our fingers and asked if we were married and we both said yes. She then began to say she would need both me and my husband's financial information. When we got back from the appt. my husband told me I shouldn't follow through with it because he said his mom told him he could get in trouble and lose his SSI Benefits. I am feeling so crushed. What should I do? Are my dreams going to have to be put on hold?

Why would he lose his benefits if he's married but his wife isn't working? Not sure I'm following the logic but I admit I have no knowledge of the system.

Girl... wth have you gotten yourself into?

A marriage works by having each others backs. You’re not married to him. You’re married to his family and, to hear you tell it, they’re a bunch of leeches. How long are you gonna accept this?

This is beyond frustrating to read. Why would you set aside your future plans to keep money coming to his grandmother or whoever else, maybe his Mother. You said he doesn’t receive it. Which means you don’t either and it’s his money. Are they holding it over his head saying they’re taking care of him and he hands over the check?

I’m all for helping family. But they’re manipulating him and he’s actually trying to stop you from going to school because it might mess up “his” disability income? You could make a better life for yourself, and him.

Do you want to work the way you are now forever and feel like his family is making all the decisions for you? That’s whats happening :/

To answer your question, per the official Social Security site, getting married does NOT affect Social Security Disability payments. But if that money’s not actually going to your husband, to help you and your son, I wouldn’t personally give a fuck either way.

https://faq.ssa.gov/link/portal/34011/34019/article/3781/if-i-get-married-will-it-affect-my-benefits

And just to clarify, your income or lack thereof has no bearing on his benefits.

@HippieGem- Yes, his grandmother receives his checks every month I guess as a way for looking after him because he has a really bad habit of spending and budgeting his money. She's been his payee since he was four years old which I believe why my husband is so comfortable with this.

Posted by Turquoise
@HippieGem- Yes, his grandmother receives his checks every month I guess as a way for looking after him because he has a really bad habit of spending and budgeting his money. She's been his payee since he was four years old which I believe why my husband is so comfortable with this.

Great. But he’s not four anymore. He’s a grown ass man with a family to take care of. Now you know what you do won’t affect his money, I hope you’ll stick up for yourself. There’s too many hands in the cookie jar that is your marriage.

Posted by hippiecrite

Posted by Turquoise
@HippieGem- Yes, his grandmother receives his checks every month I guess as a way for looking after him because he has a really bad habit of spending and budgeting his money. She's been his payee since he was four years old which I believe why my husband is so comfortable with this.

Great. But he’s not four anymore. He’s a grown ass man with a family to take care of. Now you know what you do won’t affect his money, I hope you’ll stick up for yourself. There’s too many hands in the cookie jar that is your marriage.

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Exactly. I was going to say something similar but this sums it up perfectly.

Sounds like maybe grandma's perpetrating a kind of SSDI fraud; telling the state that he lives with her so that she gets his money. And he somehow feels indebted to her so goes along with it. Not only is your husband the problem here, it's granny.

I'm not going to judge you about why you may have married him, but I do wonder why. No need to explain but this is either a troll thread or you have issues that no one here can help you with.

Posted by Turquoise
Me and my husband are both in our 20's. My husband is disabled and receives SSI Benefits. He has a physical disability which makes it hard for him to walk over a period of four hours which prevents him from working. He said he is willing to work but he graduated high school with an IEP Diploma which makes it hard for him to find work. He has brought up going to get his high school diploma but we know it's going to take him time to complete. Things are extra hard because I am the sole provider for me, my husband and my child who is a toddler from a previous relationship. I am working part time right now struggling to make ends meet. I am tired of living from paycheck to paycheck having to work two jobs just to make ends meet. I want to make a career and do something I enjoy doing. This beauty school called Continental has a Nail Tech. and Esthetics Program I want to attend. Being a Nail Tech. was always my dream. My husband has not told the social security office the truth regarding our relationship(marriage) because he doesn't want to lose his benefits. His grandmother went to his recent SSI appt appt. with him and told them my husband hasn't seen or heard from me in months. during this appt. During the appt my husband was going to take control of his money but he didn't follow through with it. His grandmother is still his payee which makes things harder because he can't make any decisions regarding his money without consulting her. He does not see or get any of his money. My husband went with me to the college since I had an appt. to see an admissions advisor at the school. He came in the office with me and the lady saw our rings on our fingers and asked if we were married and we both said yes. She then began to say she would need both me and my husband's financial information. When we got back from the appt. my husband told me I shouldn't follow through with it because he said his mom told him he could get in trouble and lose his SSI Benefits. I am feeling so crushed. What should I do? Are my dreams going to have to be put on hold?

how about getting financial aid? you know your husband has problems with his disability and needs his SSI check. if you want something more without depending on him get financial aid.

your husband could also find work at home on the computer, there's many types of work online, such as doing surveys or marketing selling and you dont have to leave home or leave the chair.

anyway, wow @the comments. lol

it sucks to be disabled.

anyway, it's a tough situation to be in. And it sounds like you really love your husband, that you would be with him despite his suffering, i hope he can find something for both of you, while he can stay at home.

i dont know what's going on with grandma,, but i'm guessing from the sounds of the comments she is a bad old woman. O_O

Posted by Dianna
I remember your post from a couple weeks ago. Does this mean you moved back into that house?

And SSI and SSD are different. Your income may change his SSI payments but so what? It's only about $ 700 monthly anyone and hardly enough to live on. It sounds like grandma is the one running the scam. They put him on SSI at a young age and lived off of it. I'm guessing that everyone in that house is collecting some sort of benefits.

It sounds like his family is holding him back from his true potential

wouldnt the government catch these scams though?

that is a long time to be doing that. if he is truly disabled, then the government is correct in giving him extra benefits (health insurance and a little bit of money to help him)

as for the famiy receiving benefits,

people do that all the time even with little children in the household when they have jobs that dont pay enough and they are not diisabled. how would it be fraud if it's helping them?



the OP has already accepted this about this man, before marrying him,

but all i saw is that (subtlely) she should leave him and do her own thing.

Posted by Dianna

Posted by hippiecrite
To answer your question, per the official Social Security site, getting married does NOT affect Social Security Disability payments. But if that money’s not actually going to your husband, to help you and your son, I wouldn’t personally give a fuck either way.

https://faq.ssa.gov/link/portal/34011/34019/article/3781/if-i-get-married-will-it-affect-my-benefits

And just to clarify, your income or lack thereof has no bearing on his benefits.

It sounds like he has supplemental security insurance which is different. SSD is the one that he pays into and SSI is federal welfare.

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Good call. There’s an 800 number in the link I provided. Asking them directly seems the best way to go. Can’t imagine things will end well when/if they find out how things have currently been operating.

@Dianna-Yes, I ended up moving back in with my husband and his family. It began not to feel right without my husband being there with me and I want to try to stick it out and work things out because I love him and it is not easy. I understand he loves his mom and grandma but he can't see that they are controlling and manipulating him sometimes. And yes everybody in my husband's families household lives off of benefits including my husband's. My husband is very comfortable living with his mother and he feels stuck. I believe his mother and grandmother are really purposely trying to hold him back because they get a portion of that money every month my husband doesn't see or get any of his checks. It puts more stress on me because I'm trying to provide for me, my husband and my son. I am struggling so hard with just this one job. Sometimes I even have to go without for my son and husband.

Posted by Supes

Posted by hippiecrite

Posted by Turquoise
@HippieGem- Yes, his grandmother receives his checks every month I guess as a way for looking after him because he has a really bad habit of spending and budgeting his money. She's been his payee since he was four years old which I believe why my husband is so comfortable with this.

Great. But he’s not four anymore. He’s a grown ass man with a family to take care of. Now you know what you do won’t affect his money, I hope you’ll stick up for yourself. There’s too many hands in the cookie jar that is your marriage.

Gma prob needs that money to live

click to expand

Gma’s been taking his check since he was four and now he’s in his twenties. Gma’s had plenty of time to figure out a Plan B.

Posted by Turquoise
Me and my husband are both in our 20's. My husband is disabled and receives SSI Benefits. He has a physical disability which makes it hard for him to walk over a period of four hours which prevents him from working. He said he is willing to work but he graduated high school with an IEP Diploma which makes it hard for him to find work. He has brought up going to get his high school diploma but we know it's going to take him time to complete. Things are extra hard because I am the sole provider for me, my husband and my child who is a toddler from a previous relationship. I am working part time right now struggling to make ends meet. I am tired of living from paycheck to paycheck having to work two jobs just to make ends meet. I want to make a career and do something I enjoy doing. This beauty school called Continental has a Nail Tech. and Esthetics Program I want to attend. Being a Nail Tech. was always my dream. My husband has not told the social security office the truth regarding our relationship(marriage) because he doesn't want to lose his benefits. His grandmother went to his recent SSI appt appt. with him and told them my husband hasn't seen or heard from me in months. during this appt. During the appt my husband was going to take control of his money but he didn't follow through with it. His grandmother is still his payee which makes things harder because he can't make any decisions regarding his money without consulting her. He does not see or get any of his money. My husband went with me to the college since I had an appt. to see an admissions advisor at the school. He came in the office with me and the lady saw our rings on our fingers and asked if we were married and we both said yes. She then began to say she would need both me and my husband's financial information. When we got back from the appt. my husband told me I shouldn't follow through with it because he said his mom told him he could get in trouble and lose his SSI Benefits. I am feeling so crushed. What should I do? Are my dreams going to have to be put on hold?

Well...I might be wrong but my husband is receiving SSD and I am working and we own the house so...when you go to a college - I don’t see how are you going to become much richer for him to lose it...

So my answer is no! Don’t worry!