AbbyNormal
@AbbyNormal
12 Years5,000+ PostsTaurus
Comments: 14265 · Posts: 5321 · Topics: 61
Do you believe (some) people can change?
Short answer: Yes.
I can understand and acknowledge (intellectually) that they did change. But I can't change how I feel about them after being slighted. Because whenever I see them or think about them, I remember what they did to me and how I felt and still feel to this day... and that makes me want to puke. So I won't forgive.
The way I see this is... would it be fair to spare someone from getting jail time for killing someone else simply because they have demonstrated that they've changed? I mean that's great and everything, but they can't undo the damage that they've caused. So in my book, they're still getting jail time.
Sag Sun
Sag Mercury
Scorpio Moon
Scorpio Venus
Scorpio Mars
I can understand and acknowledge (intellectually) that they did change. But I can't change how I feel about them after being slighted. Because whenever I see them or think about them, I remember what they did to me and how I felt and still feel to this day... and that makes me want to puke. So I won't forgive.
The way I see this is... would it be fair to spare someone from getting jail time for killing someone else simply because they have demonstrated that they've changed? I mean that's great and everything, but they can't undo the damage that they've caused. So in my book, they're still getting jail time.
Sag Sun
Sag Mercury
Scorpio Moon
Scorpio Venus
Scorpio Mars
Posted by Dastard2020
Short answer: Yes.
I can understand and acknowledge (intellectually) that they did change. But I can't change how I feel about them after being slighted. Because whenever I see them or think about them, I remember what they did to me and how I felt and still feel to this day... and that makes me want to puke. So I won't forgive.
The way I see it is... would it be fair spare someone from jail time for killing someone simply because they have demonstrated that they've changed? I mean that's great and everything, but they can't undo the damage that they've caused. So in my book, they're still getting jail time.
Sag Sun
Sag Mercury
Scorpio Moon
Scorpio Venus
Scorpio Mars
I agree scorpio moon buddy
I want to believe that they can, when they’re ready or desire to do so, not when someone sets out to change them. Which never plays out well.
Scorp Sun/Moon/Mercury
Libra Venus
Aries Mars
Aqua Rising
Scorp Sun/Moon/Mercury
Libra Venus
Aries Mars
Aqua Rising
Posted by Dastard2020
Short answer: Yes.
I can understand and acknowledge (intellectually) that they did change. But I can't change how I feel about them after being slighted. Because whenever I see them or think about them, I remember what they did to me and how I felt and still feel to this day... and that makes me want to puke. So I won't forgive.
The way I see is... would it be fair to spare someone from jail time for killing someone simply because they have demonstrated that they've changed? I mean that's great and everything, but they can't undo the damage that they've caused. So in my book, they're still getting jail time.
Sag Sun
Sag Mercury
Scorpio Moon
Scorpio Venus
Scorpio Mars
What would be on the opposite end of the scale—still warranting an apology but not as serious as say, murder?
No, people don’t change. Accept them as they are or don’t.
Posted by MommycrabPosted by borednbeautiful
No, people don’t change. Accept them as they are or don’t.
Just like W*HORES like you cant keep their legs shut🤣click to expand
Are you following me around? 😳
can? yes..will they? LOL ego is a bitch.
No. There’s just way too many bitter, disturbing old people around me that prove people rarely change. Sure with time they find different ways to sugar coat or mask their bad traits, all it does is create different versions of themselves. Most people are genuinely messed up in the head.
Basically always take people at face value and don’t ever stay relying on the fact that they’ll eventually change when their time/catalyst comes.
Basically always take people at face value and don’t ever stay relying on the fact that they’ll eventually change when their time/catalyst comes.
Posted by AbbyNormal
I ask this based on the forgive and forget thread. Do you believe someone can change? I know I didn’t change until I had the right catalyst, but I did and for the better. Will you always see someone the same way if they slighted you, no matter what? Would you give them a second, or even third chance to show you otherwise? Why or why not?
State sun and moon. Or whatever placement you think applies.
Yes people can absolutely change. I have changed and continue to do so. The core of myself will never change. What I do, how I express myself, and mentality on things are malleable. That goes for everyone.
What makes us us, is layers of things. A lot of things isn't even really who we are rather things we have picked up through life. Especially things done to survive.
If you would like you can think of it as different versions of yourself. Understand all of this and you can pick and choose the kind of person you want to me.
That takes time or real determination and self-awareness.
I agree with the catalysis trigger. That seems to be the go to and last resort for us. Both positive and negative experiences.
I have had a string of negative experiences and they have bern costly on multiple levels. I would like to be done needing that.
Posted by SassyKiwi
No. There’s just way too many bitter, disturbing old people around me that prove people rarely change. Sure with time they find different ways to sugar coat or mask their bad traits, all it does is create different versions of themselves. Most people are genuinely messed up in the head.
Basically always take people at face value and don’t ever stay relying on the fact that they’ll eventually change when their time/catalyst comes.
I sooo agree and yet disagree with your statements here lol. I find it fascinating that certain generations have such an aversion to introspection—the old thought that if you need therapy, there’s something inherently ‘off’ with you. I find that rarely boomer age folks change, and then millennials like myself seem very open to trying to fix what’s ‘off’ with us. Most people are generally messed up from childhood—but some, and I find my generation to be a key example, use their parents to learn from and do what they can do so that their kids don’t experience the negativity we did from our parents. Boomers seem to perpetuate the same hurts their parents did on them.
I think it’s wise to take people at face value. Makes no sense to wait on a future that may never come. But I do have this naive hope in me that never dies and idk why….
Posted by Kachi
It depends on the barriers (current/recurrent and intergenerational influence), personal and societal support and the well-being status of the person.
Very astute observation.
Posted by MonaLisa26Posted by AbbyNormal
I ask this based on the forgive and forget thread. Do you believe someone can change? I know I didn’t change until I had the right catalyst, but I did and for the better. Will you always see someone the same way if they slighted you, no matter what? Would you give them a second, or even third chance to show you otherwise? Why or why not?
State sun and moon. Or whatever placement you think applies.
I don't hold grudges so I don't forgive. Because I forget and move on.
In relationship like love - I have NO idea. Probably not. Unless I thought about it and decided he had a reason to say something shitty or done something stupid...maybe I provoked it...
I am not sure anybody really can answer this question.
Because IF somebody killed my dog and came and apologized - should I fogive them? And forget?
Its such a complicated question...click to expand
It’s very complicated. Everyone draws their line somewhere, no?
Yes, but they have to want to. Not because someone told them to, or wants them to. But because they decide life is sucking & want to make it better.
Sag sun aqua moon
Sag sun aqua moon
Posted by AbbyNormalPosted by SassyKiwi
No. There’s just way too many bitter, disturbing old people around me that prove people rarely change. Sure with time they find different ways to sugar coat or mask their bad traits, all it does is create different versions of themselves. Most people are genuinely messed up in the head.
Basically always take people at face value and don’t ever stay relying on the fact that they’ll eventually change when their time/catalyst comes.
I sooo agree and yet disagree with your statements here lol. I find it fascinating that certain generations have such an aversion to introspection—the old thought that if you need therapy, there’s something inherently ‘off’ with you. I find that rarely boomer age folks change, and then millennials like myself seem very open to trying to fix what’s ‘off’ with us. Most people are generally messed up from childhood—but some, and I find my generation to be a key example, use their parents to learn from and do what they can do so that their kids don’t experience the negativity we did from our parents. Boomers seem to perpetuate the same hurts their parents did on them.
I think it’s wise to take people at face value. Makes no sense to wait on a future that may never come. But I do have this naive hope in me that never dies and idk why….click to expand
Yeah the older generations above millennials definitely have all those issues and stigmas against mental health issues (I mean they do live in a deep state of denial of theirs). I’m still in my 20s and still see lots of immaturity of others around me in their 20s. I’ve always personally been an old soul since young age but rarely come across others like me. Maybe when they get to their 30s and 40s like millennials they’ll get a better grasp on improving themselves. I definitely have more hope for them than older generations. But then the younger Gen Z generation also scares me with their hypersensitivity to nearly everything.
Abby, I like to think I’m very decent at reading others’ energies - even through online. Yours is just so pure. Always protect yourself.
Posted by SassyKiwiPosted by AbbyNormalPosted by SassyKiwi
No. There’s just way too many bitter, disturbing old people around me that prove people rarely change. Sure with time they find different ways to sugar coat or mask their bad traits, all it does is create different versions of themselves. Most people are genuinely messed up in the head.
Basically always take people at face value and don’t ever stay relying on the fact that they’ll eventually change when their time/catalyst comes.
I sooo agree and yet disagree with your statements here lol. I find it fascinating that certain generations have such an aversion to introspection—the old thought that if you need therapy, there’s something inherently ‘off’ with you. I find that rarely boomer age folks change, and then millennials like myself seem very open to trying to fix what’s ‘off’ with us. Most people are generally messed up from childhood—but some, and I find my generation to be a key example, use their parents to learn from and do what they can do so that their kids don’t experience the negativity we did from our parents. Boomers seem to perpetuate the same hurts their parents did on them.
I think it’s wise to take people at face value. Makes no sense to wait on a future that may never come. But I do have this naive hope in me that never dies and idk why….
Yeah the older generations above millennials definitely have all those issues and stigmas against mental health issues (I mean they do live in a deep state of denial of theirs). I’m still in my 20s and still see lots of immaturity of others around me in their 20s. I’ve always personally been an old soul since young age but rarely come across others like me. Maybe when they get to their 30s and 40s like millennials they’ll get a better grasp on improving themselves. I definitely have more hope for them than older generations. But then the younger Gen Z generation also scares me with their hypersensitivity to nearly everything.
Abby, I like to think I’m very decent at reading others’ energies - even through online. Yours is just so pure. Always protect yourself.click to expand
Thank you. I’m trying to learn too. I was so naive to energy vampires growing up. And still trying to shake one. I find thats a common theme—there are ‘takers’ out there that, who actively or inadvertently, seek ‘givers’. So many beautifully pure lights have been extinguished, I’m trying not to become a statistic. But with my natural inclinations, it is difficult.
And that’s not to say that I’m not guilty of things, I fucked up so much in my ignorance. Maybe that’s why I’m so intent on truly knowing myself now. Losing the love of my life until now, or rather pushing them away, taught me so much about myself I might have never come to grips with. It’s truly the hardest lesson I’ve ever learned. Idk if I’ll ever feel okay again honestly. Losing that love broke me and yet rebuilt me, but I still feel broken and lost without.
Posted by MommycrabPosted by borednbeautifulPosted by MommycrabPosted by borednbeautiful
No, people don’t change. Accept them as they are or don’t.
Just like W*HORES like you cant keep their legs shut🤣
Are you following me around? 😳
YES. I LOVE FOLLOWING W*ORESclick to expand
Dang why so angry??
The hardest thing to do is to change and keep progressing when everything is going relatively well. I try to remind myself of that to stay proactive. Most people don't change until things become so painful, they're forced to.
Posted by Nightcap-
The hardest thing to do is to change and keep progressing when everything is going relatively well. I try to remind myself of that to stay proactive. Most people don't change until things become so painful, they're forced to.
Complacency is the true enemy.
Posted by cersei
Im not sure, I honestly do think ppl can change, but some can’t. It’s case by case I think. I know several ppl who don’t even care to try to change. They might realize that they have a similar problem with everyone but will only think it’s everyone else and not them. Of course they might not be serious serious issues with their personality maybe more like they are close minded and refuse to be more open minded.
But when it comes to how someone has treated you/slighted you, I do believe they can change but words are meaningless. They have to show they changed over a period of time.
Personally for me if someone told me they changed I will give them a chance but I couldn’t help but not see them in the same way. I will constantly be leery or doubt that person even if I do my best not to. But maybe over time they can regain that trust again if they really show it. But it will take time.
But for some ppl I think it’s easier to change for others I think it’s harder to change. I really believe it depends on the person.
1st house Pisces sun 12th house Aqua moon
My 12th house moon feels similarly.
Posted by ImperfectStorm
I should also add that I wasn’t always this way.. I have natal Neptune square my 12th house Venus and I’ve been so desperate for “love” at some point that I could only see the good/potential in people and have had a habit of being way more patient with people than I should be. Typically at the cost of my own self respect and esteem.
I remember I used to pray for my ex even after he cheated on me.. that dumb, 12th house Venus sacrificial type of love 🥴😒 lol pluto has been trine my natal Venus for the last year which might be why my views about love are being transformed.
I love your honesty, thank you!
Maybe after intense therapy
Posted by AbbyNormalPosted by SassyKiwiPosted by AbbyNormalPosted by SassyKiwi
No. There’s just way too many bitter, disturbing old people around me that prove people rarely change. Sure with time they find different ways to sugar coat or mask their bad traits, all it does is create different versions of themselves. Most people are genuinely messed up in the head.
Basically always take people at face value and don’t ever stay relying on the fact that they’ll eventually change when their time/catalyst comes.
I sooo agree and yet disagree with your statements here lol. I find it fascinating that certain generations have such an aversion to introspection—the old thought that if you need therapy, there’s something inherently ‘off’ with you. I find that rarely boomer age folks change, and then millennials like myself seem very open to trying to fix what’s ‘off’ with us. Most people are generally messed up from childhood—but some, and I find my generation to be a key example, use their parents to learn from and do what they can do so that their kids don’t experience the negativity we did from our parents. Boomers seem to perpetuate the same hurts their parents did on them.
I think it’s wise to take people at face value. Makes no sense to wait on a future that may never come. But I do have this naive hope in me that never dies and idk why….
Yeah the older generations above millennials definitely have all those issues and stigmas against mental health issues (I mean they do live in a deep state of denial of theirs). I’m still in my 20s and still see lots of immaturity of others around me in their 20s. I’ve always personally been an old soul since young age but rarely come across others like me. Maybe when they get to their 30s and 40s like millennials they’ll get a better grasp on improving themselves. I definitely have more hope for them than older generations. But then the younger Gen Z generation also scares me with their hypersensitivity to nearly everything.
Abby, I like to think I’m very decent at reading others’ energies - even through online. Yours is just so pure. Always protect yourself.
Thank you. I’m trying to learn too. I was so naive to energy vampires growing up. And still trying to shake one. I find thats a common theme—there are ‘takers’ out there that, who actively or inadvertently, seek ‘givers’. So many beautifully pure lights have been extinguished, I’m trying not to become a statistic. But with my natural inclinations, it is difficult.
And that’s not to say that I’m not guilty of things, I fucked up so much in my ignorance. Maybe that’s why I’m so intent on truly knowing myself now. Losing the love of my life until now, or rather pushing them away, taught me so much about myself I might have never come to grips with. It’s truly the hardest lesson I’ve ever learned. Idk if I’ll ever feel okay again honestly. Losing that love broke me and yet rebuilt me, but I still feel broken and lost without.click to expand
It’s all very interesting to me as I’ve always been on the other extremity of that. I’ve always had my guard up so high around everyone that they couldn’t take advantage of me even if they tried. Life is about finding that balance with setting boundaries that benefit you. You are allowed to be selfish to a healthy degree! Because you can bet no one else will look after you better than your own self.
You will absolutely be more than okay! The strong feelings we go through when we experience love and infatuation are pretty critical in giving us new life perspectives. I love to see them as unique learning experiences no matter how hard the heartbreak was. In fact, the worse I felt, the more intriguing. And I believe when we push people away, sometimes against our own conflicting wishes, there has to be a subconscious reason why that our conscious has probably yet to figure out. Meaning in the long run it’s very likely better for you. It needed to happen for your well being.
Hah! The problem is some can and some can’t and good luck figuring out which one.
Yes people can change. They only change for themselves tho, not for you.
With the exception that if your a charismatic cult leader you can get some people to change for you.
With the exception that if your a charismatic cult leader you can get some people to change for you.
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I just shared this quote with Virguy because it came up on IG and has always been one of my favs from growing up. I’ve always found
State sun and moon. Or whatever placement you think applies.