Narciccisst

How many of you have dated a narciccisst? What were their signs? How did you find out? And how long were you together? How did it start and end?

Posted by Toti
Married one. Dated two years, married for eight. Started as a fairytale, ended like a tragedy. In between- verbal,emotional, physical abuse. He is Taurus. I'm Scorpio.

When did you find out. What was the tell? Did he leave or did u? Does he try and come back

Are you in toxic relationship? Or you suspect your partner is narcissist? What signs if so?

I may can comment on this subject

Posted by Impulsv
MArried to one for eight years

Think the next one I dated might have been too

Leo was always I don’t think he ever apologized for anything

I had to be the apologizing crying and begging

Was like a child stopped accused for not agreeing with him accused me of picking sides

Like I couldn’t think for myself!

His way or high way

With held sex as punishment

I got sick so was discarded

It was so subtle you didn’t know till you had sunk low

At the end try to say I was abusive lol

Typical.

The withold of sex and emotions is common feature of all types.

Problem is they mostly target codependent and they seeking validation, lack of maintaining boundaries and need of justification of their partner. Many ends up brainwashed or psychiatric case

You can spot them in a second. Just say no to them. You get silent treatment and stonewalling immediately. Withold of emotional goods, sex, you name it. 🙂

They are great teachers were you weak or lacking of. Valuable experience. Unless you not intelligent enough or emotionally dependent. That's screw your life because you can't control the situation and you won't leave.

Posted by Impulsv
They will love bomb you

Tell them no to something and you will see the stomping around

Yes. Then devaluation, but fun starts then🙂 there were the wolf shows their face in the sheep skin. From there all goes exciting.or maybe it's just me, she is challenging many ways. At least not bored. Can't be bothered of the manipulation and different tactics. You can disengage and engage depends how thry behave. Surely they need their own medicine occasionally.

Me too I spent at least one month on the subject, all types and scale

Signs?

Honeymoon phase /lovebombing

They literally cling on you all day, fuck each other non stop.

Later on time frame varies, they pull a break that's when your addiction comes out and get obsessed. You see something is wrong but not entirely grasp it. They start then the gaslighting, projection, silent treatment, stone walling, controlling behaviour over you. If your boundaries are weak you get brainwashed. If you disappoint them or not provide enough fuel thry look for secondary sources. They selfish, demanding and extremely manipulative. Very high level of reading and intuitive as fuck. You can outsmart them once you understand them and their tactics. Az long as you not emotionally engage in their bullshit also you no need them to make you happy you are good

To understand. They counting on that your addiction, and they are addicted to the situation itself. They lack empathy but sensitive. They show themselves as strong, make no mistake. It's not strength but selfishness and they entitled to everything and you need to satisfy their wants otherwise you back to square one.

You can give them great time with sarcastic comments of their behaviour applied with reverse psychology, showing mirror themselves without emotional input. Especially answers they rage with "love you too" makes totally confused and sone nice manner and polite but funny conversation. It drives them mental, with results in silent treatment again. You can approach them again with love, they will see as good opportunity as they have a chance to control they availability which you not seeking anyway so it's delusional. You still remain disengaged and rather have fun on the situation and say how happy you are which makes them rage again. Apply that as many time your narc try to blame shifting or put you down. Sometimes you can be more harsh not to give the same treatment but make sure you factual with your statement so thry can't project back and gaslighting. That way they will pull back in silent treatment again, and fun start again from beggining. They have better days when you approach them super nice, thry adopt quickly you can even make jokes together! 🙂

They push and pull game brings good passion into your sex life so it's a win win situation 🙂

Make sure you strong enough to proceed, weak no need to apply

Posted by Sheever
Are you in toxic relationship? Or you suspect your partner is narcissist? What signs if so?

I may can comment on this subject

My ex leo keeps reappearing talking so much shit. He's homeless and has a baby now but still thinks he's the shit. He starting to stalk me but when I started talking to him I began to wonder if he was literally slow or was he a narcissist? He thinks very highly of himself. And won't work. Though he's been literally living on the street. He knows me and my cap aren't dating anymore so he began to be nice but then outtve nowhere he gets extremely angry at the mere mention of the cap ex. Of course I'm still in love with cap even though I ended it. I was just wondering if is it possible to attract narcissists?

Posted by miriyahhh

Posted by Sheever
Are you in toxic relationship? Or you suspect your partner is narcissist? What signs if so?

I may can comment on this subject

My ex leo keeps reappearing talking so much shit. He's homeless and has a baby now but still thinks he's the shit. He starting to stalk me but when I started talking to him I began to wonder if he was literally slow or was he a narcissist? He thinks very highly of himself. And won't work. Though he's been literally living on the street. He knows me and my cap aren't dating anymore so he began to be nice but then outtve nowhere he gets extremely angry at the mere mention of the cap ex. Of course I'm still in love with cap even though I ended it. I was just wondering if is it possible to attract narcissists?

click to expand

Well you can for sure. Especially when your ex living on the street without job its a huge motivation for them to suck you in. I don't even get it how you get into such situation. If you are a rescuer you will attract narcs definitely

Posted by Sheever

Posted by miriyahhh

Posted by Sheever
Are you in toxic relationship? Or you suspect your partner is narcissist? What signs if so?

I may can comment on this subject

My ex leo keeps reappearing talking so much shit. He's homeless and has a baby now but still thinks he's the shit. He starting to stalk me but when I started talking to him I began to wonder if he was literally slow or was he a narcissist? He thinks very highly of himself. And won't work. Though he's been literally living on the street. He knows me and my cap aren't dating anymore so he began to be nice but then outtve nowhere he gets extremely angry at the mere mention of the cap ex. Of course I'm still in love with cap even though I ended it. I was just wondering if is it possible to attract narcissists?

Well you can for sure. Especially when your ex living on the street without job its a huge motivation for them to suck you in. I don't even get it how you get into such situation. If you are a rescuer you will attract narcs definitely

click to expand

He's been bouncing around in the streets for like 2 years now. Never had a real job. He depended on family and when things turned south the family got evicted so everyone was pretty much homeless. I knew he was headed for this path year's ago. He's lazy and thinks his looks will turn into cash. But really thinks hes the best looking thing around and can talk off anybody but he really can't. I can't believe I'm just now finding this out🤔

Posted by queenaries_
Just act like a narcissist back to them

I was gonna ask if this would work?

Posted by Toti

Posted by Sheever
Signs?

Honeymoon phase /lovebombing

They literally cling on you all day, fuck each other non stop.

Later on time frame varies, they pull a break that's when your addiction comes out and get obsessed. You see something is wrong but not entirely grasp it. They start then the gaslighting, projection, silent treatment, stone walling, controlling behaviour over you. If your boundaries are weak you get brainwashed. If you disappoint them or not provide enough fuel thry look for secondary sources. They selfish, demanding and extremely manipulative. Very high level of reading and intuitive as fuck. You can outsmart them once you understand them and their tactics. Az long as you not emotionally engage in their bullshit also you no need them to make you happy you are good

To understand. They counting on that your addiction, and they are addicted to the situation itself. They lack empathy but sensitive. They show themselves as strong, make no mistake. It's not strength but selfishness and they entitled to everything and you need to satisfy their wants otherwise you back to square one.

You can give them great time with sarcastic comments of their behaviour applied with reverse psychology, showing mirror themselves without emotional input. Especially answers they rage with "love you too" makes totally confused and sone nice manner and polite but funny conversation. It drives them mental, with results in silent treatment again. You can approach them again with love, they will see as good opportunity as they have a chance to control they availability which you not seeking anyway so it's delusional. You still remain disengaged and rather have fun on the situation and say how happy you are which makes them rage again. Apply that as many time your narc try to blame shifting or put you down. Sometimes you can be more harsh not to give the same treatment but make sure you factual with your statement so thry can't project back and gaslighting. That way they will pull back in silent treatment again, and fun start again from beggining. They have better days when you approach them super nice, thry adopt quickly you can even make jokes together! 🙂

They push and pull game brings good passion into your sex life so it's a win win situation 🙂

Make sure you strong enough to proceed, weak no need to apply

Basically the fairytale becomes hell. The prince charming becomes Mr Hyde. The loving man becomes an ice wall. I still don't know why I gave him a decade of my life. Probably because I travelled a lot in between. But the addiction thing is real. I was really obsessively addicted to him. I don't think he ever gave a damn about me, but he was full of sugar coated I love you followed by-you know id never do that hadn't you behaved differently...

click to expand

Sorry to hear that, it's indeed very disturbing and many ends up with serious cognitive dissonance and treatment after they experienced abuse and gaslighting, projection. My comment had a dose of sarcasm however it's indeed a very dangerous problem.

To be fair, one have address as why they get manipulated at the first place,and work on their stuff.

Posted by Distilled
I've thrown this term around myself, but in hindsight I believe that it's really hard to diagnose serious mental disorders.

In our society, with technology being so easy to access, I believe anyone can be susceptible to certain narcistic traits. It's just now made it easier for those who are douchbags to get away with stuff.

From what I've experienced I think that people who have been enabled their whole life, with no boundaries, responsibilities, or consequences to follow through with- will have a heavily entitled mindset towards anything and anyone who comes into contact with them and can do something for them. And they don't have to stop, because they will have people around, as they found what works with these people. So they always have someone to catch them when they fall.

A person with healthy boundaries will cut this out real quick. There are warning signs and flags from everyone we meet, even when we don't have experience we have that gut instinct right in the beginning, telling us that something is off with the situation or person. If it doesn't make sense, that's a sign in itself.

Also entitled people have an agenda, and if you don't know what you want for yourself or for your life, you will just end up going along with theirs, even if it's not a conscious thing. You might not be aware because you don't know what you deserve and where your value lies.

Yes it's quite correct, no one can really make a diagnosis, what is enough for you to see is that you re in a toxic relationship. You can see for signatures for example your new partner has abusive relationships before you, also what you ve mentioned as something is off and yes you better listen to your gut.

I think you wrong on the boundaries, narcs or toxic people actually very defensive on their boundaries as it comes from their false view of entitlement and superiority. Yes they motivated purely by their needs not love towards you. However the spectrum is very wide and as you said you can't really make diagnosis only see the traits the person exercise. The most important sign is that you start searching and find yourself study narcissistic personal disorder. That means you got someone definitely fall in the spectrum.

Don't even try to understand them or look for any sense of their behaviour. They protect a false ego on all cost and the real one never revealed because it's so bad even they shame themselves and rescue themselves to put others down in order to feel less self hatred towards themselves. Thry know what they are doing but that's who they are. They are extremely sensitive but don't confuse with emphaty. That's what is missing, they selfish and care about only and only themselves. Thry expect everyone to satisfy they needs otherwise you re useless to them. When they not get what they want they exercise various manipulation techniques, such as gaslighting, projection, silent treatment, stone walling, blame shifting, and other disgusting method over you. They trying to invade your boundaries in a very clever way, as they are extremely intuitive to read you and get information from you about your worry or trying to find your insecurities and use against you.

They don't love you, they want your resources, attention, admiration as they entitled to that by default. They do as you re extremely lucky you to be with them so you better please them, and the obsession from your side is a very smart technique been used against you.

The only way you to stop their power is to realise that, there is nothing you need from them. It will free you up, and hence you don't need them but they need you allows you to see the cleat picture and gain your power back. None of their bullshit will work on that point and thry most likely will do a final discard and move to the secondary or other sources as they always need supply.

Whether you re with a narcissist or a toxic person it doesn't matter. It's not healthy and you have right to break the ties. Problem is when someone is too weak to do so, especially the case of codependent which will stay in the situation and get totally brainwashed by the narcissist. These people go through hell and the variety of verbal and physical abuse damage their personality, self esteem and the recovery can take even years to them.

The key is again, you don't need anyone to be happy. They need you. If there is nothing you need from someone they can't control you any way. Say no, stick to your moral and integrity, do not tolerate boundary violation and unfair treatment from no one. Respect yourself, others will respect you. Whoever not accepts you, it's their choice and you don't need such people in your life. Love is selfless, giving, sharing nothing to do with needs.

Posted by Delilahoney
How many of you have dated a narciccisst? What were their signs? How did you find out? And how long were you together? How did it start and end?

He is a Virgo. I found out when I would bring up something that upset me, and he would shift the blame instead of be emotionally mature and try to resolve it and understand where I was coming from. He would also play games by "accidentally" sending texts to other people that he specifically wanted me to have when I tried to leave him. We were together for 2 years and half a month. It started when I fell for his obsession with me. It ended after 2 grueling years of trying to leave him, but being unable to due to his various ways of threatening me, starting smear campaigns against me, promising he would change, and me being so in love that I wanted to work things out (but also in fear of his threats). It was not pretty.

Blame shifting is a common technique. It's purpose to show you their superiority and shifting the responsibility from their wrongdoing back to you. It's a distracting technique to not being accountable towards anyone. Thry also never say sorry. Big red flag.

The texting part called triangulation, they get involved a third party, for various reasons. First to gain jealousy and you to feel unsafe in the relationship so you try desperately fixing it so you do whatever they want you to do not to get abandoned by them. Those persons are secondary sources, sexual partners they triangulate with and that also can be the discard phase just tight before they move on the next supply. They will hoover back later on and either try to get back to you or just does not leave you alone, you can be prepared to texts, or suddenly unwanted appearance from their side to disturb you as it allows them to hurt you again emotionally so you basically have more difficulty to move on. They consider their partner as their property and they relationships mean for life for them so there is no such thing as final discard. You always will be theur property and will hoover back even years later or decades when any trigger occur from their side to make them remember you. Don't forget, you re a supply to them

Narcissistic personal disorder most cases involved child hood trauma, where basically they had to protect themselves against emotional abuse, and while they been busy with that protection they were unable to grow emotionally on a healthy way. They are stack on the level of a 5 years old emotionally.

Later on more series of abuse, physical, sexual just making things worse. They can't be fixed don't even try. They can't change, thry brain is hard wired. They change only, and only if they identify a new technique or behavior more successful to use than previous ones. That's the only case they change. But not in the better way, the underlying mentality does not change. They unable to love or empathy. Thry understand the concept of love and thry can recognise or identify the behaviour associated with, also mimicking it. But thry don't feel such thing. Thry don't understand the feeling of it. Thry are empty and shallow inside, horrible that's why they do everything to not to face it. The build up a false ego to not address their own problem and how distorted they are.

Posted by Delilahoney

Posted by Sheever

Posted by Delilahoney
How many of you have dated a narciccisst? What were their signs? How did you find out? And how long were you together? How did it start and end?

He is a Virgo. I found out when I would bring up something that upset me, and he would shift the blame instead of be emotionally mature and try to resolve it and understand where I was coming from. He would also play games by "accidentally" sending texts to other people that he specifically wanted me to have when I tried to leave him. We were together for 2 years and half a month. It started when I fell for his obsession with me. It ended after 2 grueling years of trying to leave him, but being unable to due to his various ways of threatening me, starting smear campaigns against me, promising he would change, and me being so in love that I wanted to work things out (but also in fear of his threats). It was not pretty.

Blame shifting is a common technique. It's purpose to show you their superiority and shifting the responsibility from their wrongdoing back to you. It's a distracting technique to not being accountable towards anyone. Thry also never say sorry. Big red flag.

The texting part called triangulation, they get involved a third party, for various reasons. First to gain jealousy and you to feel unsafe in the relationship so you try desperately fixing it so you do whatever they want you to do not to get abandoned by them. Those persons are secondary sources, sexual partners they triangulate with and that also can be the discard phase just tight before they move on the next supply. They will hoover back later on and either try to get back to you or just does not leave you alone, you can be prepared to texts, or suddenly unwanted appearance from their side to disturb you as it allows them to hurt you again emotionally so you basically have more difficulty to move on. They consider their partner as their property and they relationships mean for life for them so there is no such thing as final discard. You always will be theur property and will hoover back even years later or decades when any trigger occur from their side to make them remember you. Don't forget, you re a supply to them

Yeah it's terrifying. He's got tattoos of my name. I told him his tattoos don't mean he love me, just that he wants to torture somebody (me) for the rest of his life.

click to expand

That's the obsession, essentially both parties get obsessed, you with through the chemical process because the lovebombing phase followed by withdrawal which causes you an addiction, and they get obsessed with the situation itself so it's fucked up numerous ways. The difference is, on the withdrawal phase you gain clarity what the hell is going on, while they still obsessed. That's when you start searching and identifying who you actually dealing with.

It's always the same script, in all cases. After that you start disengage and fighting back, depending in your strength and self esteem. You either escape, or they will discard you so the outcome has no difference from your point of view. What only and only matters is that you get through without damage. In my case I was able to turn the entire thing around and gain control by brickwalling my boundaries and not tolerate any violation attempt. I was still fair and Intelligent in any engagement but any violation attempt I counterattack regardless of consequences follows as silent treatment etc. I just shifted my focus on my stuffs on those periods of time and completely disengaged. That allows you to not be effected by their bullshit. So you live your own reality regardless they manipulation. That causes total disconnection after time and they leave the relationship as you re not functioning as supply anymore.

Great channel, the guy is hilarious in context.

Posted by Impulsv

i actually watched this.

well if he took her in with his parents, his parents will tell her everything.

i think in my personal opinion, is that she was expecting too much of him when she said that he had rented out his house which means he owns a home but they just moved in with his family so they have a room for themselves there.

it's probably because she is westerner and not a cultured/middle east/asian type of woman where the culture lives with parents for awhile.

he was actually telling the truth that she wouldnt have to work for a few months, and she could just look for clients there. so if she stayed with his family ..... that would be free for her.

but to her it was too much cause i think maybe he was giving her perception of a castle?

when he should have video taped his home where' they're gonna stay in..

and the mother already told her the truth about his ex's and can't hold down a job ect.



this is why women are gonna get depressed unless she come from super poor like a small asian village where she can barely eat or a small little african village where they are soooo poor they can barely have medicine.

that kind of life is heaven to them.

women always want security no matter what.

so unless they come from dirt poor...and to compare...living in a trailer park is heaven

I dated an aquarius who I thought was nice at first but found out I was mistaken. He was into lifting weights but I thought he was different from the usual type. All he cared about was ig models, big asses/tight bodies, messaging girls behind my back and keeping in contact with his exes. I couldnt handle his selfishness anymore and after so many on and off again occurrances I decided to keep it off for good especially because he said some disrespectful things to me and broke my trust by talking shit about me and repeating something I told him in confidence to his bestfriend because he was pissed at me for breaking up with him previously when it was his actions that led me to. I took him back without knowing about what he said to his friend but when I found out I couldnt contain my distrust and hurt feelings. He tried hitting me up several times after that but hasnt since September so I think he got the hint to finally fuck off.