@Manana
10 Years
Bipolar
What do you call a female version of capt. save-a-hoe?
Do you lack drama in your life?
No ignorant response please! Everyone deserves happiness/love..despite the obstacles that I'm sure will be part of the process.
Posted by Manana
No ignorant response please! Everyone deserves happiness/love..despite the obstacles that I'm sure will be part of the process.
You deserve happiness too.
I know, but I want to find it with him. Despite the illness..he's an exceptional guy. A true warrior!
Thanks for your comments! I guess all we can do is take things slow and learn about our own limitations. I'm willing to give it a go 🙂
I'm not expecting a pretty picture. I've read almost everything I can to learn more about it, but since everyone is different I'm going to trust him to teach me about how it affects him and his life. He might not want to go there with me, and I'll be sad but accept it.
Kind words, and the first sign of optimism I've seen regarding this. Appreciated.
Posted by Manana
Kind words, and the first sign of optimism I've seen regarding this. Appreciated.
"I've already had the silent treatment and insults (which I don't take personally... "
You should, though.
Don't let that be acceptable, ever.
I don't approve of this... you're setting yourself
up for sickness.
If you're serious about it, research co-
dependency, its symptoms, and who is at risk.
Js
When I say I don't take what he says personally, I always make it clear that there's no need for cruelty but I know mostly it seems to be coming from his sensitivity.
Like I said, we just met and I only want to try to know him. It would be ridiculous to assume that we can develop like most other people, that there might even be a relationship at all. But I kinda felt like he was reaching out in the ways that he knew how. It was so sincere and beautiful. And I wondered all along how he might feel, how he was being affected and I hope he was having some fun because living with the disorder must as far from fun as it can get.
I'm not sure which of the types he has (1/2), but I've been looking at the differences. He did tell me so long ago but I didn't feel it was the right time to ask too many questions. Until a few weeks ago, we didn't speak for 3 months at all, then one day out of the blue he got back in touch.
I just don't want to be too much, and at the same time not enough..so I have just sent small messages, not every day but just to say hey. Should I ask what his plans for the weekend are or wait for him?
I'll wait until tomorrow, and then I'll ask!
Posted by Manana
No ignorant response please! Everyone deserves happiness/love..despite the obstacles that I'm sure will be part of the process.
Good luck on happiness with bipolar man!
Posted by Effervescent
You must be a Virgo Rising
It means she loves cheese in quantities?
Posted by Effervescent
You must be a Virgo Rising
It means she loves cheese in quantities?
Virgo Risings like to fix and boss people around
click to expand
While indulging on cheese? ?
Posted by Manana
I'm not sure which of the types he has (1/2), but I've been looking at the differences. He did tell me so long ago but I didn't feel it was the right time to ask too many questions. Until a few weeks ago, we didn't speak for 3 months at all, then one day out of the blue he got back in touch.I just don't want to be too much, and at the same time not enough..so I have just sent small messages, not every day but just to say hey. Should I ask what his plans for the weekend are or wait for him?
Oh you want a project.
I bet you're thinking you're doing him a favour.
Then you'll look at him as an illness and read books and accept things cuz he put it out there from day one.
Then he'll say "but I'm bipolar" and all you'll do is try and change him.
I'd be wary of you.
click to expand
You're an absolute clown, and I don't mean the funny kind.
No, I was blessed with sound mental health..thanks! I'm Libra/Virgo cusp and he's May 10th.
Thanks Fortuna, that's a great article. He had a terrible childhood, I don't have a lot of details but i know that from age 3 he was in/out of care and homes.
Posted by Manana
I know, but I want to find it with him. Despite the illness..he's an exceptional guy. A true warrior!U don't know him yet
click to expand
She knows his illness. If she likes to play martyr that's sufficient.
My Dad had this diagnosis. We don't get on though.
Everyone with an illness is different. Some are assholes. Some are lovely people. There is no generic experience.
Posted by LittleFairy
Everyone with an illness is different. Some are assholes. Some are lovely people. There is no generic experience.So are people who are free from mental illness.
People are people.
click to expand
Exactly.
Posted by Manana
I'm not expecting a pretty picture. I've read almost everything I can to learn more about it, but since everyone is different I'm going to trust him to teach me about how it affects him and his life. He might not want to go there with me, and I'll be sad but accept it.
Apart from reading up on theories and testimonies, talk to a mental health professional for tips.
Posted by Manana
I'm not expecting a pretty picture. I've read almost everything I can to learn more about it, but since everyone is different I'm going to trust him to teach me about how it affects him and his life. He might not want to go there with me, and I'll be sad but accept it.Apart from reading up on theories and testimonies, talk to a mental health professional for tips.
click to expand
Nope. Don't.
I would say talk to him. Listen to him. Get to know him.
Professionals talk to the person ..they get to know them.
I only read up on theories to help ME with my Dad ...but more about daughters of bi polar or alcoholics....
But that is to help ME with MY issues with him.
You are already having YOUR issues with this. But these are YOUR issues...not his. I had to accept that too ....a lot of the problem with was with MY issues with my Dad's stuff...but that is not his stuff. Because someone else might not be as affected by his stuff as I am or at all.
For some people a friend or a family member being bi polar is not an issue ...it doesn't affect them ..for someone else it might ..that has nothing to do with the bi polar person ...but the family member ..
You can overreact to other peoples stuff..that is your stuff. Just something i have learned. I am over sensitive to my Dad ...but that isn't him. It's me.
Posted by Manana
I'm not expecting a pretty picture. I've read almost everything I can to learn more about it, but since everyone is different I'm going to trust him to teach me about how it affects him and his life. He might not want to go there with me, and I'll be sad but accept it.Apart from reading up on theories and testimonies, talk to a mental health professional for tips.
Nope. Don't.
I would say talk to him. Listen to him. Get to know him.
Professionals talk to the person ..they get to know them.
I only read up on theories to help ME with my Dad ...but more about daughters of bi polar or alcoholics....
But that is to help ME with MY issues with him.
You are already having YOUR issues with this. But these are YOUR issues...not his. I had to accept that too ....a lot of the problem with was with MY issues with my Dad's stuff...but that is not his stuff. Because someone else might not be as affected by his stuff as I am or at all.
click to expand
Which is why I suggested she talk to a professional. Not to help him, but to help and protect herself.
next time clarify with me first before assuming you know what I am saying.
theories and testimonials serve only 1 angle of a situation.
Can I just clarify that there's no pity from my side. Obviously the guy has been dealt some crap cards but me getting clued up is to prevent everything being about the bipolar. It might always be the "elephant in the room" but I'm not going to be ignorant going into this.
I'll never love him better/fix him/save him, but if I know a bit more about the rest of it we might have a chance. If he was epileptic/diabetic I'd be doing the same thing. But of course mental health is a much more sensitive subject.
Well, we got kinda back in touch after a few days..except he says he doesn't remember me, #crushed!!!
Did this help you understand your situation?
dxpnet has hosted real conversations like this since 2000. If you value independent communities, you can support the site below.
Every contribution helps keep dxpnet independent and ad-light.
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account →
Does anyone on the forums have this diagnosis? I had my first date with a bipolar guy last Friday but we've been chatting for a long time. He's been upfront about it and comes across as very pro active regarding medication and healthy life style choices. But I'm wondering about communication.We had a great time and have had very basic communication since..I've already had the silent treatment and insults (which I don't take personally, but not in a doormat kind of way). Point is, im interested in getting to know more about him..should I wait for him to ask to see me again or should I be first to make the suggestion?