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Does any one feel EMOTIONALLY HELD HOSTAGE? The sad part is that I feel that there is absolutely nothing I can do about it but put my hands up and surrender...

I dont think I am quiet ready to surrender just yet thus leaving me still captive. Why do we do this to ourselves? When I say surrender I mean giving up on love that may never love me in return but a love that never lets me stray too far.

If you have read my posts in the past then you will understand my situation. Either way how do you feel being held captive by your own love?

I know it sounds DRAMATIC! Thats the point...most love is dramatic...good or bad!

Dude. My fish is the exact same way ;,

He'll come at me full-force and when I try to show him my dedication, he swims away. But it's like he's always listening and watching, whether or not he's actually present.

Secretly we like it. The thrill of the chase. The justification in fighting for something. We eat that right up, don't we?!

We feel like we can never truly let our guards down because the minute we do, he'll swim away, again. But I have to stop and ask myself if at least part of the problem is me. I'm not nearly as open about my feelings as he is, and in return he holds back a bit.

I threatened that we shouldn't be friends, anymore last week. I was beginning to get fed up with him. I'm ALWAYS there for him whenever he needs me. But he seems to know when I'll ask for help, as he never answers when I'm feeling upset. Then we never mention it. And I'm forced to keep it in.

But strangely, I'm not discouraged. Not in the slightest. I'm a fighter. And fighting for love...what greater, more justified cause is there?!

So just stop your neurotic ways and learn how to settle down a bit. Talk to your Piscean girlfriends about him (though they won't understand, either. As most of mine tell me to find someone better).

Maybe start exercising? I know. I don't want to, either. But I just have so much dam energy. IT'S RIDICULOUS!!

Anywayz..

Hope I helped in some way.

p.s. I'm planning on getting a real estate license. Maybe constantly being stressed out at work will help, as I will have a safe refuge waiting for me at home?

And another thing:
When we first met, he was all about being together. We went on three dates consecutively when we first met (fri, sat, sun).
And then some crap happened and I put my foot down. Now I have him convinced that he shouldn't have a relationship with me.

Think back. I'm sure you said or did something that seemed really insignificant. But meant the world to him. And he'll never tell you. You're *supposed* to know how he feels and why.

Blah. I'm so freakin' restless right now. . . . .