Attract back Pisces ex guy who has a new fling?

Um..I don't know what to post as title...but it's not really that bad of me.

His birthday is on March 20th, one day before Aries, so he's on the cusp, but I've always thought of him as a Pisces because he acts more like Pisces and he has a Scorpio Moon, so more watery.

First, the scenario:
We met August 2009. He's kind, caring, wonderful, and let me have my way in almost everything. The only downside is he's the jealous type and very stubborn. Most of the time we could work things out. We've talked about the future, have some plans about it and decided that it's going to be a long-term relationship.

Last year January, we became long-distance and could only see each other about once a month. We kept frequent contact. About half a year later he got distant, and started having crushes on some girls. We started arguing a lot then, sometimes until 3am. Later, he told a mutual friend that I wore him out with late calls and he started having insomnia.

Last year August he fell hard for a girl and asked her out, but she rejected him. He left the messages for me to find out. Before that he asked me if I'm okay with him having a fling, just for fun. I said I don't think I could accept it... Anyway after around November he asked her again, this time she accepted.
He has expressed it clearly many times to me that they are just having a fling, and he did this because he feels lonely. He said he will not have close physical contact with her (kissing, etc). He's still not over me, still contacting me, still getting jealous about guys being close to me, and he didn't want to end our relationship.
I guess they're both okay together. She's 2 years younger, I'm his age. She's an Aries, didn't care that much, not that clingy, my friend who's there told me she ignores him sometimes. He claims to not really bother much about her.

Once he asked me if I'm okay with him putting relationship status with her on facebook. I told him "what do you think?" In the end he didn't put anything. It's not a big issue, but then..

I know most of you will tell me he's a bad Pisces, stringing two of us on a string, but I??ve made up my mind to give us a last chance. He said he??ll end their fling end of this year, that is when I'm finally going back to him. In the meantime, any ways on attracting him back to me again, so that he??ll be less serious about her and think of me more?

I'm a Cancer. I have the feeling he still loves me, but we faced misunderstandings and distance problems and he's tired about arguing and not solving anything because one misunderstanding leads to the next, as all we could talk is through phone. We used to argue sometimes when we??re together before, but then he hugged me and apologized and things got better. After long-distance, we couldn't do anything like that.

I guess maybe you guys will tell me there's no excuse for him, but I??ve tried forgetting him, stop contacting him, did everything since November, but it kills me because we were so sure of each other. I??ve decided to give us one last chance, try to find ways to attract his attention back, let him know I'm the best girl for him. Please let me know what are the ways I can do to let him realize our love is still there? When he's upset by his family, friends or her, he turns to me even if he didn't want to say much about the problems. And I will comfort him through chats online.

Please tell me what to do along the path I??ve chosen. I can't sit around watching him floats back and forth??_it's killing me.

That's a tough one considering I understand from the above that you won't be able to keep a steady -regular contact- relationship until later this year. Perhaps it would be best to wait until you can have that, otherwise those periods of distance from each other will work against you and produce nothing stable/solid.

From then on, what can you do to attract him? Nothing is more seductive than confidence in your Self and who you are. If you let the fears in -with regard to other girls and so forth- they will cloud your judgement and erode your confidence over time. If you really think you are the person for him, then BE that person, and he will naturally find himself attracted to you. No games, no subtle manipulations, just define when you will be ready to give him a stable/steady relationship and arrange a get together. Everything should fall into place from there.-

Best of luck!

Its irrelevant what his sign is.....I wouldn't put up with this behavior from anyone. It is pretty obvious that he's using you as a crutch. You are there to fall back on when things don't work out with these girls. He knows you will be there too. He clearly doesn't care for you the way you care for him, and even if you were just in the friend zone, friends don't even treat each other with disregard this way. There is nothing anyone can tell you to do to "get" him to love you. He either does or doesn't and he clearly doesn't or he would be with you and only you. You need to expect more of yourself and learn to respect yourself. You can't expect a guy to respect you and choose you as the prize when you are disregarding your own feelings in order to be with him. He will always put you last when a pretty girl walks along because you've already taught him that he can. The fact that he asked you how you felt about his having a fling or changing his Facebook status doesn't mean he cared, it just meant he was feeling you out to see if you'd be upset or if he could continue to use you to his advantage. You didn't stand your ground so he knows he has you where he wants you. Simply put....you don't value yourself so he won't. You wanted advice......show him you have self love and drop him. Show him you won't be second best and see how attractive you quickly become to him. If it were me though, after he realized this I'd say no sorry this is what you once had and you didn't take care of it, so have fun with your flings.

Thanks for the replies.

Let*It*Be: I know..I guess I'm not thinking straight enough...I've been keeping myself busy and tired so that I won't have time or energy to think about him...sometimes my mood is so down I end up crying to myself.

XV2: Thanks, by the way, what can I say when I'm texting him and chatting to him on the Net to show confidence? I always end up sounding sad and desperate...>

It's because she's a Cancer.


I mean, does anyone in here really expect her to have integrity?

I emitted my opinion under the assumption -perhaps wrongful- that it was on your account that the relationship became long distance. This wasn't really specified I think, and from this angle I thought of the guy having to wait for you by which I considered it wasn't really fair to expect him to wait around indefinitely, and therefore he was entitled to have flings in the meantime.

However, having read the posts from the above members, I have to agree that you should not put your life on hold for anyone and if he is indeed using you as a crutch, then you shouldn't put up with that at all.

One way to approach this entire situation -if you are still determined to get back with him some day- is to combine all 3 recipes listed above:
1.- Don't put your life on hold, start living it and find happiness in yourself, this will increase your seductive potential anyway so it's never a bad choice.
2.- Use these months to find calm within yourself as it is apparent that you are not at ease/anxious. This situation seems to be draining you of energy which is NOT a good sign and is an indication of what is often reffered to as a toxic relationship. Reevaluate if it would indeed be a good relationship for you or if it is just some sort of emotional storm in there which is confusing you.
3.- IF after those 10 months have passed you decide it IS a good relationship for you and worth pursuing, with the life experience you will have nurtured by then (point 1.) you will be calm within= confident = and therefore naturally seductive for him. If his feelings are true, he will find you irresistible, if not, his loss!

Again, good luck! 🙂

Well, except for Shellshocker and a few others ... who actually realize thier self worth.


Obviously, carrie1212, you are worth nothing except to be trodden over without respect to your feelings or value .... and it's your fault you are worth nothing, because that is how you allow yourself to be treated.

That is why he tells you those things without regard to your feelings = because according to you, you don't matter. So, why should he bother to care about you?

I'm sure he wants to keep you around though .. because you're probably an easy lay. He doesn't have to work it. A woman with no self-worth will let her knickers fall to her ankles with little, if any effort.


You probably get on your knees, open your mouth and say, "com'er"

Posted by P-Angel
Well, except for Shellshocker and a few others ... who actually realize thier self worth.


Obviously, carrie1212, you are worth nothing except to be trodden over without respect to your feelings or value .... and it's your fault you are worth nothing, because that is how you allow yourself to be treated.

That is why he tells you those things without regard to your feelings = because according to you, you don't matter. So, why should he bother to care about you?

I'm sure he wants to keep you around though .. because you're probably an easy lay. He doesn't have to work it. A woman with no self-worth will let her knickers fall to her ankles with little, if any effort.


You probably get on your knees, open your mouth and say, "com'er"

That's funny....this is pretty much the same thing my cancer words were, but thanks for agreeing. You don't know how much that means to me. Really. Pfff.

Perhaps if you had gotten on your knees and opened your mouth in the name of love, your husband wouldn't have become a good buddie.
Do you really think it bothers me that you and Nemisis bring that up? If if did, I wouldn't have posted it for you to see. Yep, if I love a man, I'm gonna suck him off and watch him smile. Am I supposed to feel shame in that? I would however feel shame if I banged 300 people like I read you say you have! You're a skank!

Posted by carrie1212

I guess maybe you guys will tell me there's no excuse for him .....

What?

Obviously, you have no clue about yourself, and believe that all of us will see you as a saving grace to him, while he is behaving badly without excuse?

You're deluded .... you cannot see yourself in this scenario

Posted by carrie1212

... try to find ways to attract his attention back, let him know I'm the best girl for him.

Please let me know what are the ways I can do to let him realize our love is still there?

click to expand

To let him realize how he feels? You believe that you know how he feels, yet, he doesn't? And you want to know how to get him to know how he feels?


wow .... thank the gods my Cancer moon doesn't have much control over me, cause I would likely kill myself if I were that deluded

Integrity is not giving my body to 300 people. Integrity is not eating out a woman while her husband watches and while their newborn sleeps in the other room (possibly in a crib in the same room). And then banging him because his sore wife from having his baby couldn't. Integrity is being a 33 year old woman who's only had four partners in her life. Why? Because she respects her body and doesn't drop her panties to her ankles for just any and every Tom, Dick and Harry....or Mary, Jane and Nancy. Since you say you lived on the streets, I'm sure you paid for some. So you're not just a skank but a whore too.

Correction.....some paid for you to get on your knees and open your mouth.

Carrie....Ursula here is the queen bitch of the water who is threatened by the younger, prettier, tighter inhabitants.

Huh I would say that he likes you around but you to put your life on hold is silly. I wouldn't think he's completely into you because he wouldn't be trying to go for the aries.

I would say put him and keep him in the friends zone and move on and count your losses. It's not worth it. He's not a bad fish at all in my eyes.

Distance can kill a relationship for merfolk we have to have interactions with people not just over the phone or it will kill our pull towards you. When that pull is gone pff forgetaboutit. It may be able to be rekindled but meh most likely not.

He's telling you he may stop messing with the Aries in 10 months is a huge flag he doesn't want anything with you regarding relationships and may be hoping you loose interest which you should. Merfolk hate hurting people so that's why we usually just walk away or cut ties. Read between the lines...the writing is on the wall.

Unless he just doesn't wanna do this long distance thing and like a Pisces, is not confident enough to completely blow her off. Or likely he's having his cake and eating it too. :/ I would never wait for a man that was seeing someone else. That's silly. There's millions other men in the world! I'm sure it's hard though because you really care about him..but you gotta realize you're puting yourself through unnecessarily painful situations.

And dang intrigued.... Your posts are pretty intense..... You know that the Pisces folk can see right through your bitterness, or at least I can. And I'm not trying to be a jerk, just stating that it is clear you are immensely offended and bothered by this woman. Perhaps you won't deny it..

P may be sort of a bitch (tho I have no seen all of her posts ever written so I am unsure the extent and non extent of her bitchiness) but there is some sort of "other end of the stick" truth to her words. Whether she even believes it herself, she seems to point out the faults in someones situation, and it can have value representing "what ifs" in the situation, and bring a different perspective to the story, if the person doesn't take it uber personally.

ITS ALL GOOD Y'ALL

Nah, I'll admit she bothered me in the beginning when I was still feeling this place out. She finds it necessary to make reference to me in nearly every post. She may think this bothers me because I respond each time, but if she turns up her Pisces intuition, she'll know I actually like confrontation from bitches and she only feeds my fun. I've read enough of her remarks pertaining to me that I don't find much of what I post about her to be off limits at this point. It's not to say she isn't wise in some of the answers she gives, but as long as she involves me, I'll play along until I get bored. Perhaps the one who is bothered is her, since it's become the norm for her to make hints about me on a regular basis. I'm really flatter P...... that I have such an effect on you that you just can't let it go.

Oh, I didn't see where she referenced you.

But I also dont know your history with eachother here, so if she did, I certainly missed it.

"It's because she's a Cancer.

I mean, does anyone in here really expect her to have integrity?

You probably get on your knees, open your mouth and say, "com'er"

wow .... thank the gods my Cancer moon doesn't have much control over me, cause I would likely kill myself if I were that deluded"


All me. And I'm not even mentioning the other numerous threads. I didn't know I was that interesting. She did say once she liked cancer women better than men, and she's surly had every sign in the zodiac. Who knows, maybe I turn her on. And yeah, it's been ongoing for months.

The mollusks and sea cucumbers all came out of hiding after that because they no longer feared being eaten.

damn...memyselfandintrigued! you read her for filth, love! whew!
i'm just on the sidelines like WHOA!

@ OP,

The other posts here about you maintaining your self respect and dignity are key.

I don't care for the harsh approach of some folks here toward you, but you must sustain your self respect as he tries a new relationship.

Do not be available to him if he is going to place you on the back burner and chase other girls down.

Stand up for yourself and get out there this weekend with your girlfriends. Get some photos with people out having fun and post them where he can see.

Otherwise, you are gonna be hurt by this dude and that isn't cool.

Capiche?

@ OP,

The other posts here about you maintaining your self respect and dignity are key.

I don't care for the harsh approach of some folks here toward you, but you must sustain your self respect as he tries a new relationship.

Do not be available to him if he is going to place you on the back burner and chase other girls down.

Stand up for yourself and get out there this weekend with your girlfriends. Get some photos with people out having fun and post them where he can see.

Otherwise, you are gonna be hurt by this dude and that isn't cool.

Capiche?

whatever will be, will be so don't let it get to you

Posted by ScorpioFish
@ OP,

The other posts here about you maintaining your self respect and dignity are key.

I don't care for the harsh approach of some folks here toward you, but you must sustain your self respect as he tries a new relationship.

Do not be available to him if he is going to place you on the back burner and chase other girls down.

Stand up for yourself and get out there this weekend with your girlfriends. Get some photos with people out having fun and post them where he can see.

Otherwise, you are gonna be hurt by this dude and that isn't cool.

Capiche?

love this.

This is olddddd.

Reading the thread and then came across my reply like damn.. Don't remember responding to this at all.. But my response is pretty well aligned with who I am two years later, so that's cool!