Ever noticed ......

That every other sign talks about their relationships most of the time, and we don't?

Sometimes, we'll talk about an incident or two, but, rarely, if ever, do we ask questions, or seek advise. Every other board is filling with not only other people coming in, also the residents of the boards .... constantly asking questions and needing insight into the meanings of their relationships .... and we don't require this, for if we did .. our board would be full of us in here inquiring.

Why?

Is it because we are private?
Do we already know all the answers ourselves?
Are we afraid of what someone else might interpret?
Do we not care what anyone else thinks?
Are we not feeling deep enough to want insight?
Or perhaps, feeling so deep that insight would be pointless?
Is it such a personal matter that we feel like it's a betrayal?
Is our confidence level so high that we aren't insecure?


If we don't talk to people about our feelings for other people, then do we not talk to our partners about them either?

If in our minds we feel so profoundly, yet, these feelings aren't verablized ... then how are our partners to know that the feelings run so deep?

Do we expect the other to just know .. intuitively .. and then want them to respond?


Why don't we have a need to talk about feelings for or about our love?

Maybe it's because Pisces don't really feel at all... your self-proclaimed empathy is a delusion... or, like your Zodiac oppposite, you assume you know it all already, and yaking about your interpersonal / relationship skills on DXP would be superfluous...

I do lol. Ive had to ask a couple things about my Scorpio on the scorp board. But I do love my scorp very much....why start a bulliten about it? But for one of your questions you asked...I do think that Pisces are private people, and just dont like telling all. Im like that, I dont need to tell all about my relationship. ...just a thought

The just talk about it here....they arent dating other pisces people, thats why.

*They just dont

I know ... but, on the other boards, residents of those boards talk to their fellow sign-mates about their relationships, and ask questions of their kind ... and we rarely do that. Perhaps, this happens once in a while, but, in comparison ... it's so minimal that it makes me stop and wondering why.

"I do love my scorp very much....why start a bulliten about it?"


And so, in thinking about this on a broader scale ... if it's within our belief that we don't need to make a fuss about expressing our emotions about how much we feel about our partners .. then are we also having this attitude with the partnership itself, and just don't realize it.

Branh, and others have said time and again that Pisces people don't tell you how they feel, or what they want regarding a relationship and remain vague, while expecting their partners to intuitively just know what it is we are feeling or needing to say. When people come in here and say such things .. I tell them that they are absurd. Of course, we tell our partners how we feel .. we are all about feeling.

However ........... maybe they are absolutely correct. If we don't believe we need to make a fuss, an announcement about how we feel, and this is an ingrained trait .. then it's highly possible that we aren't communicating what we are feeling to our partners.

We may think we are because we are feeling them so deep, but, if what we feel can be dis-connected, and we know it is .. then we probably aren't expressing our feelings appropriately for a person to grasp how deeply we feel for them.

He knows I love him .. I don't need to announce it < if that's our attitude about expressing, then yes, SD ... we suck !!!! For, every person needs to "hear" that they are cherished from their lover.

My Scorp would rather...

SHOW ME than tell me.

Tell me than write me.

Love letters are a last resort for her.

I'm almost the exact opposite. It's far easier for me to write it than speak it, and that seems to hold true for many Virgs...

If you have good lines of communication with your lover, does the method really matter??

"He knows I love him .. I don't need to announce it..."

That's a Virgo attitude. If I told you once, why do I need to tell you again & again?

"Why can't it be understood that when we aren't talking as much or being emotionally loving one day that people go into thinking that something is wrong with us? (There's nothing wrong.)"



The quote above from SD's "suck" thread is what stood out in my mind which caused me to search deeper into this.

To me this is saying ........ Why can't it be understood that when I'm NOT expressing to you how I feel, that it doesn't mean something is wrong, and you should just KNOW it, without me telling you.


Think about that .......


Just because I'm not telling you or showing you .. doesn't mean I don't feel it .. why don't you know that? You should just know. It doesn't mean something is wrong. You should just know that something isn't wrong.

Can anyone else see the error in which I am trying to convey?

Sorry, SD .. not picking on you or your words .... they just evoke a search within me to find out why we suck. An emotional reaction was evident within you to make that thread, and my normal self went into psycho-analyze mode to find out why .. what does it mean.

It's different with Virgos though, Dyr .. because when you guys do tell or show the love .. it is actually conveyed, even if scarce .. and I'm not sure that we even express this clear enough AT ALL.

"I'm not sure that we even express this clear enough AT ALL."

OK... but if your lover is another Water Sign, do you really need to?? Wouldn't their intuition know your true feelings without any feedback from you??

I just like to come on here for shits and giggles.

Yes, Virgos make simple declarations, but that's because we're never 100% certain that the message has been received...

As for our yaking about relationships on DXP: We like to think about things - over & over again - before we act. I use DXP as a sanity check for my thought processes, because romance is the one area of my life where I need the back-up!

Pisces (and other Water Signs) may not need the peer review... so, don't sweat it!

Consider yourselves fortunate...

"""Branh, and others have said time and again that Pisces people don't tell you how they feel, or what they want regarding a relationship and remain vague, while expecting their partners to intuitively just know what it is we are feeling or needing to say. When people come in here and say such things .. I tell them that they are absurd. Of course, we tell our partners how we feel .. we are all about feeling.""""

For me and maybe other pisces, I dont need to tell you becasue you can see it when Im around you. When Im around my scorp I dont need to say I love you, I can say it in the way I look at him. Our eyes, look in to them and you can see. If we love you, you can see it on our faces and even the way we act. Thats how I am at least.

For being vauge, Im vauge because Im scared to say what I want in a relationship up front, I wait till I feel comfortable to say what I want. I dont want to say something that I want and the other doesnt it, espcially if its something deep and personal. I dont want to feel stupid and freak the other person out, so I wait till I feel comfortable and the time is right.

Also I'd rather tell my scorp that I love him. He's the only one who needs to hear it really. If I say I LOVE MY SCORPIO!! on dxp ...lol who cares? ya know? If I saw someone say that Id just say 'awww good for them 🙂' then continue reading the thread.

"If in our minds we feel so profoundly, yet, these feelings aren't verablized ... then how are our partners to know that the feelings run so deep?"


In here lies the problem ... we don't feel in our minds, we have no memory of feelings .. we can only "sense" that a feeling exists, but, without mental association how can we verbally express it without it sounding equivocal?

We know we are dis-connected and talk about it often ... but, I don't believe that most Pisceans look deep enough inside to comprehend that what is dis-connected is our feelings from thoughts .. completely severed, no cord.

We think we tell our partners what we feel .. but, we cannot think what we feel.

"I dont need to tell you becasue you can see it when Im around you. When Im around my scorp I dont need to say I love you, I can say it in the way I look at him. Our eyes, look in to them and you can see. If we love you, you can see it on our faces and even the way we act."


This confirms what I'm saying here, and the quote of SDs .. we believe that our partner just KNOWS how we feel without telling them, and we believe that we are showing them, expressing to them clearly by just a look in their eyes ... and this is in error.

On these boards, we hear daily about people who say these very things .. a b/g friend or potential will look at them a certain way, act or react a certain way .... and these people know NOT what is being suggested to them by a glance, by the way they are treated. If people understood intuitively, they way we falsely believe that they do, then they wouldn't be in here asking what it means.

From the Piscean perspective .. we can intuitively just KNOW what a deep look or a treatment means, and we erroneously believe that people around us should just know too and because of this ... I believe we aren't expressing our love to our partners enough for them to understand how we feel.

"I dont need to say I love you, I can say it in the way I look at him"

But, we can't .. I know you believe this, but, we can't .. this is the error. If the above were true then people would be able to grasp us and not question whether we love them or not ... and they do question, everyday.

Hmm I have posted about my relationships but it's never in-depth. Sometimes advice is helpful, but sometimes I find it just clouds my own judgement on the situation - too many cooks spoil the broth as it were. People will always have different opinions to your own, and I've found in the past that I've been prone to leaning towards what someone else thinks - instead of trusting my own intuition.

So I tend to keep things to myself now.

I guess I started this thread wrong, and worded it wrong to get across what I wanted to express .. irony.

"I would imagine that Pisceans would open up more - the more they trust/know/spend time with someone"

Not really .. it's always the same, because we always think we are perfectly open from the very beginning. I still sit back and think, well you should know how I feel. It's not about not being open with somebody ... it's about thinking we are open because we don't comprehend that we are closed off from communication.

We think by just a look in our eyes that we are speaking clearly to another person because we can understand a look, so should they. So, there's no reason to open up and say more because we saying alls there is already.

Thank everyone for their answers, though, it feels like I never really got the point across as to what I'm trying to say. And I'm certain that other Pisces people are unable to comprehend of what this means in terms of "why" we struggle with relationships because this non-verbal communication is so ingrained in us that it seems perfectly normal.

If something is normal, then there is nothing abnormal to even consider.

:: sighs ::

Thanks everyone for responding 🙂

Sometimes, I feel so alone, like I'm the only who gets it and other people can only sense what it is I might be saying on the surface, as it bounces off.

P I do know what you mean, although I may have went off on the wrong tangent in my last post lol. 😛

I've always thought I was very open, and yet it seems that with my last few relationships I've been accused of being the exact opposite. It still baffles me to this day.

"Sometimes, I feel so alone, like I'm the only who gets it"

I used to feel this way, until I met someone.......my best friend, a Cancer, who just totally gets me no need for explanation. It's awesome. 🙂

"We are all loners in our issues"

Well said Outcast. How the hell are you anyway did you have a good birthday?

"It's not important if others get it - always it is a personal search for knowledge and wisdom."

You're right, bijou, it's only important to me to find my own answers, and I guess it is obvious that a soul-search is underway about this .... but, at the same time as I go through this process, I'm left feeling that if I'm the only one who can see what I see .. then maybe I'm deluded, and trying to sort out something that doesn't exist, in which case, there are no answers to find because it isn't real.

Whomever, or whatever is bringing this to me .. I hope it becomes apparant soon.

"What is the point of speaking something when you see things 100 times better than other people do?"


Because I have to live in this world full of other people, Haffo, and how am I to communicate to them if I think I am, but, not. Not in a way in which they can understand me.

dxp has been a tremendous exercise in learning how to make words that express, in all the different ways that they come out. In RL, I rarely speak to any person .. verbally.

And all this time, I thought it was normal. For 49 years, I thought that everybody does this, that talking is silent .... so, perhaps, not only can I not speak my feelings, I cannot "hear" others speak them because my life is silent.

I'm in my own head ... always.

"I don't experience that myself. I am very vocal about my feelings when in a relationship...perhaps a bit too vocal."


I always thought that too, MsP .. only recently have I come to realize that what is being vocalized isn't clear enough for others to understand me.

For example: My husband might ask if I like something, and I think to myself .. after 25 years, he doesn't KNOW already? Why doesn't he know? I thought I've always been forthcoming with exactly how I feel and what I like or don't like. It is baffling, like Thetis said.

He doesn't know because my words are silent to him because they are mixed with the quietness of "sensing" what is being felt within my plane of thought.

He doesn't know because I've only told him in my head, while believing it was spoken in a language that he could comprehend.

You have you ever been in a conversation with a person that went something like this ....

Pisces: (speaks)

Other person: What do you mean?

Pisces: You know, what I said (and then you sort of giggle)

Other person: No

Pisces: (says again - humoring)

Other person: Are you saying _ _ _ _ ?


Pisces is left thinking what's wrong with this person, do they not understand english? Still in conversation .. Pisces says something else ..

Pisces: (speaks)

Other person: (looks at you oddly) What did you mean by that?

Pisces: Not again *sighs* .. I said _ _ _ _

Other person: Oh, I think I get it, you're saying _ _ _

Pisces: *sighs* No, what I mean is _ _ _ _


All the while, Pisces thinking that the other person must be challenged, for you CLEARLY understood everything they said and didn't need to inquire into the meaning .. yet, we are constantly asked what we are meaning when we say something.

In thinking about the above, which happens most times I speak .. the problem isn't the other person not understanding me .. it's me not communicating clearly.

How often does a similar conversation take place with Pisces?

P, this post has lost me a bit, so I will answer each bit of your original questions.

'That every other sign talks about their relationships most of the time, and we don't?'
Because the only person I really talk to about our relationship is my hubby.

'Why? Is it because we are private?'
Been with an Aqua, he is physically private, but our feelings for each other are still obvious to our friends in the way we trust each other, they even comment on how perfect we are for each other.

'If in our minds we feel so profoundly, yet, these feelings aren't verablized ... then how are our partners to know that the feelings run so deep?'
Apart from the fact that I'm a bit of a sexual deviate and make it pretty obvious to hubby how I feel about him, we've discussed this, yes COMMUNICATION, he's well aware that I show love in the little things, what he likes to eat etc and that he needs to try to do this for me, in order to fulfill my needs. By the same token, he has asked me to be less physical in public, not so clingy and give him his space. I do this by keeping myself busy, hobbies, DXP etc 🙂

As for others in general, I am a bit of a private person, without knowing it, I put on the 'public' face, the person I let the world see and protect the inner me, why, because I am too emotional, insecure and hate rejection and don't want my feelings hurt. And that's all the honesty you will get from me.

lol @ Archer.

I'm good Outcast thanks - my birthday wasn't too hot either but hey ho it's another year older - although in my case sadly not wiser. 😛

"like you wear your emotions out in the open so clearly that you figure everyone can see them, but of course, we can't."


I know you can't, AS .. this is what is bothering me .. this is why we fail time and again in relationships, for we have a false expectation of the other person just KNOWING how we feel intuitively ..

P-Angel: "...we have a false expectation of the other person just KNOWING how we feel intuitively .."

Well, shit-fire! Then, just tell your Lover how you feel about them! And... try not to be disappointed in them when they don't Get You... Take a lesson from an Earth Dude: There are lots of times I don't understand my Scorp's emotional state, and there are times she doesn't have a clue what's going on in my noggin, but we both accept that as part of the mystery of two distinct species trying to live as one...

Yo, Dyar

I have a question to ask you. But I don't want to ask it over the boards. Not that it's really personal or anything...concerning academia....

ScorpSuperior.... OK.... shoot me a PM, then...

"That every other sign talks about their relationships most of the time, and we don't?"

I have noticed this, P, both on here and in RL. For me personally, it's because I'm just very private about that sort of thing. I only have two people I openly discuss relationship issues with, and it's rare that I do so with them. I think part of this is because of intuitiveness. I almost always know how the other person feels about me, whether it is expressed verbally or not, and I don't usually second guess that. What does cause me to seek advice is when I know how someone feels about me on an intuitive level, but their actions are not expressing that, or they're holding back in some way.

The other reason is that it makes me feel vulnerable to discuss emotions, or how I feel about someone, and I don't like it. I have a pretty tough facade, and caving like that just makes me feel very uncomfortable, even though it's the "real" me to be a sensitive pansy. 😉

HAHA! I guess we're all tough, MsP. We have to be. We fishes take a lot o' crap.

I'm actually feeling pretty good today. That must mean something bad is gonna happen. Maybe tomorrow? lol