Need some wise words...

Hello everyone:

I am dating a Cancer man and it will be a year in June (06-25) on his birthday- Oh hello Cancerlady, I saw in response to one of my other posts that you said your birthday is on the same day 🙂. Well it is very serious between us and I am very much in love with him- this I know.

He loves me too very much this I also know, but I am dealing with some fears that I have had since we met- they were strong fears when we first met and then they subsided after I found out he truly did love me. Ok here is the situation:

He and I want to get married- this we both know- he constantly tells me this and I know that he means it with all his heart. When we first met and even after we had been in the relationship for a few months, he was VERY stand-offish and protective about me meeting his family- his sister lives only about 31/2 hours away from me so I met her and his mom about a month ago for the first time. I was there again this past weekend and I spent more time with him and his sister and her husband.

His sister has been through some very tough times with trying to have a baby. She has miscarried a total of five times now. The last time she was pregnant, he and I had just gotten into our relationship and I really really hoped and prayed that she would have this baby, but once again...

I truly feel very deeply for her in this respect but here's where I have a problem with her and with some of the things he has told me about his family- he has three other brothers. They are very close. She is the oldest and from what I have pieced together from little things he would tell me when we first met and to him telling me a lot more now is that there are problems with the daughters-in-law in his family that occured with him, his mom, and his sister. Here is the deal:
He says that both of his brothers wives have mistreated his sister and that one even had problems with his mom for "no apparent reason" and apologized recently for how she had been acting with her.

oK first of all I told him that I would not take sides because I don't know the situation only what he has told me and all that he knows is what he sister has told him. She has him convinced that she has been mistreated by them and misused and treated wrong but when I ask him specifically how he can't tell me.

Next, his sister said something when he, she, and I were in her back yard this weekend and it was about her brother's wives: "They let their wives run their lives". Ok when this was said I said nothing but I knew my boyfriend knew how much I didn't like her saying that.

My boyfriend KNOWS where I stand when it comes to a man and wife putting each other first in a marriage and not letting family, friends, or anyone coming between that bond. He tells me he understands and feels excatly as I do and tells me all the time that he will not let anyone come between us and that we will live our lives the way we want. I do believe him and this comforts me...much but not 100% ...

Ok this is what I have concluded about his sister... she has a hard time letting go of her brothers and she wants the bond they had between each other before they got married- two are married, one is the youngest-five years younger than my boyfriend and then my boyfriend who is with me. She is the oldest and has always been the one who mainly looked after them all when they were all growing up because their parents ran a business together. She wants the bonds to remain and dosen't respect and accept that their complete devotion belongs to their wives now. Then what's not right to me is that she is married herself and she seems to want to interact more with my boyfriend then her own husband! She wants to know everything that he and I do and she always asks him about his business and wants to know everything! There a part of me that can genuinely love her but her possessiveness of him is too much and