Pisces guy 'thinking' or stringing me along?

So this pisces guy and I have an 11 year age gap. However, we get along really well and always enjoy our dates together. All of a sudden though, he starts telling me he's busy and texts me lesser. When I asked him to just tell me if he lost interest because I didn't want to waste my time, he replied saying he was thinking about us and that at his age he had to think carefully before stepping into something serious, and that we definitely have something special going on, much more than just a casual thing. I told him to text me whenever he makes his mind up, then a few days later he texts me using his usual pet name for me, asking me how I was. I gave a pretty cold reply, and he hasn't replied since. Would I ever hear from him again? Did he make up his mind and realised he didn't want to see me anymore or is he still thinking?

He swam away to warmer waters it sounds like.

You acted cold and demanding. He didn't make you a priority. End of.

Posted by dilettante

but why’d you cold respond after you asked him to contact you when he made a decision? he literally texted you a pet name & you respondcoldly?

are you like 17 or some shit?

Heheh... Because I told him to text me when he made a decision, but all he did was pretend nothing happened and make small talk... Guess I blew it :/

Posted by Undine

You acted cold and demanding. He didn't make you a priority. End of.

I wasn't trying to come off as demanding... He just kept blowing me off when I asked him out so I wanted to know if I should stop wasting my time...

Just from the age gap alone I don’t think it’s going to work out for y’all long term. Maybe he might be curious and see how far things can get but I highly doubt you two would ever get serious serious especially given how the current interactions are going.

Posted by Dreamy88

Posted by Scorpiogrlll

Posted by dilettante

but why’d you cold respond after you asked him to contact you when he made a decision? he literally texted you a pet name & you respondcoldly?

are you like 17 or some shit?

Heheh... Because I told him to text me when he made a decision, but all he did was pretend nothing happened and make small talk... Guess I blew it :/

That’s how we make up our minds. We enter back in nonchalantly like nothing ever happened and then if he’s experienced enough with talking objectively, he’d probably have had brought up that previous conversation to tell you his stance on it. Who’s older? Him?

I do this often if I need to think. If I really needed time to step back, I would take it, evaluate the entire situation and imagine it from the outside looking at the relationship from an outsider’s perspective. Then I’d make a conclusion to see if it’s a healthy relationship or not and discuss it with whoever I’m in a relationship with.

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He's older, I just find him so immature for leaving things like this. Ghosting on me without any closure

Posted by PhoenixStorm

He will definitely be back. Find something else to occupy your time, out of sight out of mind.

What makes you think so?

Posted by SassyKiwi

Just from the age gap alone I don’t think it’s going to work out for y’all long term. Maybe he might be curious and see how far things can get but I highly doubt you two would ever get serious serious especially given how the current interactions are going.

I don't even take this seriously, he's the one who wanted to 'think' about whatever this was, and the one who wanted to label and complicate things. I just wanted to know if I should keep asking him out or if he lost interest. Sigh....

Posted by Dreamy88

Posted by PhoenixStorm

Posted by Dreamy88

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Posted by Scorpiogrlll

Posted by dilettante

but why’d you cold respond after you asked him to contact you when he made a decision? he literally texted you a pet name & you respondcoldly?

are you like 17 or some shit?

Heheh... Because I told him to text me when he made a decision, but all he did was pretend nothing happened and make small talk... Guess I blew it :/

That’s how we make up our minds. We enter back in nonchalantly like nothing ever happened and then if he’s experienced enough with talking objectively, he’d probably have had brought up that previous conversation to tell you his stance on it. Who’s older? Him?

I do this often if I need to think. If I really needed time to step back, I would take it, evaluate the entire situation and imagine it from the outside looking at the relationship from an outsider’s perspective. Then I’d make a conclusion to see if it’s a healthy relationship or not and discuss it with whoever I’m in a relationship with.

Well at least you discuss it with them. That’s not so bad.

I’m very communicative in a relationship. Perhaps I talk too much sometimes lol

No I don’t think so..

there are men who do this with NO explanation until they come back a month or two later and then try to explain how they were scared or overthinking etc.. by that time we ain’t trying to hear shit they say lol so at least you explain where your mind is at. It’s best to be transparent

A month is ridiculous. If that happened to me, I’d assume I’m cut loose lol

That’s just an example I haven’t dated a Pisces in a couple years so I don’t really remember the time frame, but I do remember the swim away, then swim back and try to pull the “i was afraid that I was catching feelings” card. What pissed me off about those situations is they completely disregard the feelings of the other person while trying to “protect” their own.

I’m not sure why someone wouldn’t want to catch feelings. It makes no sense unless it was some kind of open type relationship or non serious relationship. I guess for some, I can see why they can’t handle intensity in a relationship. Kind of messed up though because I know the feeling of waiting for some you care about and not knowing

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Apparently it's cos he's 'much older and needs to think before stepping into something more serious' lol

Posted by PhoenixStorm

Posted by Dreamy88

Posted by PhoenixStorm

Posted by Dreamy88

Posted by PhoenixStorm

Posted by Dreamy88

Posted by Scorpiogrlll

Posted by dilettante

but why’d you cold respond after you asked him to contact you when he made a decision? he literally texted you a pet name & you respondcoldly?

are you like 17 or some shit?

Heheh... Because I told him to text me when he made a decision, but all he did was pretend nothing happened and make small talk... Guess I blew it :/

That’s how we make up our minds. We enter back in nonchalantly like nothing ever happened and then if he’s experienced enough with talking objectively, he’d probably have had brought up that previous conversation to tell you his stance on it. Who’s older? Him?

I do this often if I need to think. If I really needed time to step back, I would take it, evaluate the entire situation and imagine it from the outside looking at the relationship from an outsider’s perspective. Then I’d make a conclusion to see if it’s a healthy relationship or not and discuss it with whoever I’m in a relationship with.

Well at least you discuss it with them. That’s not so bad.

I’m very communicative in a relationship. Perhaps I talk too much sometimes lol

No I don’t think so..

there are men who do this with NO explanation until they come back a month or two later and then try to explain how they were scared or overthinking etc.. by that time we ain’t trying to hear shit they say lol so at least you explain where your mind is at. It’s best to be transparent

A month is ridiculous. If that happened to me, I’d assume I’m cut loose lol

That’s just an example I haven’t dated a Pisces in a couple years so I don’t really remember the time frame, but I do remember the swim away, then swim back and try to pull the “i was afraid that I was catching feelings” card. What pissed me off about those situations is they completely disregard the feelings of the other person while trying to “protect” their own.

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Yeah exactly! And now everyone is saying he's gone just because I was being cold... Like excuse me for not crawling back to you all lovely dovey after you got distant all of a sudden

Posted by PhoenixStorm

Posted by Dreamy88

Posted by PhoenixStorm

Posted by Dreamy88

Posted by PhoenixStorm

Posted by Dreamy88

Posted by PhoenixStorm

Posted by Dreamy88

Posted by Scorpiogrlll

Posted by dilettante

but why’d you cold respond after you asked him to contact you when he made a decision? he literally texted you a pet name & you respondcoldly?

are you like 17 or some shit?

Heheh... Because I told him to text me when he made a decision, but all he did was pretend nothing happened and make small talk... Guess I blew it :/

That’s how we make up our minds. We enter back in nonchalantly like nothing ever happened and then if he’s experienced enough with talking objectively, he’d probably have had brought up that previous conversation to tell you his stance on it. Who’s older? Him?

I do this often if I need to think. If I really needed time to step back, I would take it, evaluate the entire situation and imagine it from the outside looking at the relationship from an outsider’s perspective. Then I’d make a conclusion to see if it’s a healthy relationship or not and discuss it with whoever I’m in a relationship with.

Well at least you discuss it with them. That’s not so bad.

I’m very communicative in a relationship. Perhaps I talk too much sometimes lol

No I don’t think so..

there are men who do this with NO explanation until they come back a month or two later and then try to explain how they were scared or overthinking etc.. by that time we ain’t trying to hear shit they say lol so at least you explain where your mind is at. It’s best to be transparent

A month is ridiculous. If that happened to me, I’d assume I’m cut loose lol

That’s just an example I haven’t dated a Pisces in a couple years so I don’t really remember the time frame, but I do remember the swim away, then swim back and try to pull the “i was afraid that I was catching feelings” card. What pissed me off about those situations is they completely disregard the feelings of the other person while trying to “protect” their own.

I’m not sure why someone wouldn’t want to catch feelings. It makes no sense unless it was some kind of open type relationship or non serious relationship. I guess for some, I can see why they can’t handle intensity in a relationship. Kind of messed up though because I know the feeling of waiting for some you care about and not knowing

It’s been a combination of things. One Pisces in 2018, it was a long distance situation. He drove 8 hours to see me a few times but then would be distant when he was back home. Then he would try swimming back, he did this like maybe 6 times in less than 6 months. It’s 2 years later and he still makes little comments like he’s trying to come back but I just grew tired of the games.

Then there was another Pisces I have been platonic friends with for over a decade, he’s been very obvious and up front about being attracted to me so last summer we used to talk on the phone for hours and we never had anything physical going on, in fact we only met out for lunch one time. We were both single parents so it was hard to see each other more often. We used to talk everyday, it was an everyday part of the routine and I wasn’t pressing him for any type of relationship but he would make comments saying like he couldn’t wait for the day where I would cook for him and his son... so I thought we were heading in that direction. But then the phone calls just stopped, and I didn’t chase after him because I’m almost 40 I’m just beyond that age/stage of playing cat and mouse with grown men 😒 so I just let him go. A few times he has sent me drunk texts saying that he distanced himself because he was scared. They both have and now I have no desire to date either of the two. Lol I’m the type that likes to keep the momentum going. Too many “breaks” or timeouts just causes the relationship to stall out.

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Yeah I have way better things to do and people to meet than to wait for someone who's so wishy washy about this

Posted by Phantum

Posted by Dreamy88

Posted by Phantum

Posted by Dreamy88

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Posted by Dreamy88

Posted by Scorpiogrlll

Posted by Dreamy88

Posted by Scorpiogrlll

Posted by dilettante

but why’d you cold respond after you asked him to contact you when he made a decision? he literally texted you a pet name & you respondcoldly?

are you like 17 or some shit?

Heheh... Because I told him to text me when he made a decision, but all he did was pretend nothing happened and make small talk... Guess I blew it :/

That’s how we make up our minds. We enter back in nonchalantly like nothing ever happened and then if he’s experienced enough with talking objectively, he’d probably have had brought up that previous conversation to tell you his stance on it. Who’s older? Him?

I do this often if I need to think. If I really needed time to step back, I would take it, evaluate the entire situation and imagine it from the outside looking at the relationship from an outsider’s perspective. Then I’d make a conclusion to see if it’s a healthy relationship or not and discuss it with whoever I’m in a relationship with.

He's older, I just find him so immature for leaving things like this. Ghosting on me without any closure

I don’t think that even counts as ghosting. He came back to message you and whatever you said to him on that text, he probably came to the conclusion that whatever he needed to think about probably was confirmed and that message might’ve offended him. Closure is probably useless. If someone tells you why they stopped liking you, you’d start morphing yourself to someone who you aren’t.

She kind of proved she’s gonna be mean and difficult...who wants that?

I’d be pretty confused if I was told to step back and figure out what I wanted and when I finally figured it out, I get met with backlash for actually doing that if I was in his shoes. It also makes it seem a bit more extra since OP has said it took him a few days, so that’s like less than 5 days. Less than a week is more than a reasonable amount of time for a decision like this.

I also think it’s reasonable to allow the conversation to get going before you demand to hear what he decided.

Exactly! He might’ve wanted to lighten up the mood and ease into it. Might just be his way of handling these situations

I personally think these kinds of discussions are easier in person. He might have been planning to suggest that. Who knows...

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I guess the general concensus is that I fucked up... :/ ahhh well

Posted by Phantum

Posted by Scorpiogrlll

Posted by Phantum

Posted by Dreamy88

Posted by Phantum

Posted by Dreamy88

Posted by Phantum

Posted by Dreamy88

Posted by Scorpiogrlll

Posted by Dreamy88

Posted by Scorpiogrlll

Posted by dilettante

but why’d you cold respond after you asked him to contact you when he made a decision? he literally texted you a pet name & you respondcoldly?

are you like 17 or some shit?

Heheh... Because I told him to text me when he made a decision, but all he did was pretend nothing happened and make small talk... Guess I blew it :/

That’s how we make up our minds. We enter back in nonchalantly like nothing ever happened and then if he’s experienced enough with talking objectively, he’d probably have had brought up that previous conversation to tell you his stance on it. Who’s older? Him?

I do this often if I need to think. If I really needed time to step back, I would take it, evaluate the entire situation and imagine it from the outside looking at the relationship from an outsider’s perspective. Then I’d make a conclusion to see if it’s a healthy relationship or not and discuss it with whoever I’m in a relationship with.

He's older, I just find him so immature for leaving things like this. Ghosting on me without any closure

I don’t think that even counts as ghosting. He came back to message you and whatever you said to him on that text, he probably came to the conclusion that whatever he needed to think about probably was confirmed and that message might’ve offended him. Closure is probably useless. If someone tells you why they stopped liking you, you’d start morphing yourself to someone who you aren’t.

She kind of proved she’s gonna be mean and difficult...who wants that?

I’d be pretty confused if I was told to step back and figure out what I wanted and when I finally figured it out, I get met with backlash for actually doing that if I was in his shoes. It also makes it seem a bit more extra since OP has said it took him a few days, so that’s like less than 5 days. Less than a week is more than a reasonable amount of time for a decision like this.

I also think it’s reasonable to allow the conversation to get going before you demand to hear what he decided.

Exactly! He might’ve wanted to lighten up the mood and ease into it. Might just be his way of handling these situations

I personally think these kinds of discussions are easier in person. He might have been planning to suggest that. Who knows...

I guess the general concensus is that I fucked up... :/ ahhh well

It seems that way. It's so hard to tell what really occurred between two people from posts. In my experience Pisces men do need kindness, though. They need to feel that it's okay to talk, and if they're going to get punished for their thoughts and feelings, they're going to bottle them up or take them elsewhere.

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Maybe he'll find someone who can deal with all the sudden-distant bs

Posted by Scorpiogrlll

So this pisces guy and I have an 11 year age gap. However, we get along really well and always enjoy our dates together. All of a sudden though, he starts telling me he's busy and texts me lesser. When I asked him to just tell me if he lost interest because I didn't want to waste my time, he replied saying he was thinking about us and that at his age he had to think carefully before stepping into something serious, and that we definitely have something special going on, much more than just a casual thing. I told him to text me whenever he makes his mind up, then a few days later he texts me using his usual pet name for me, asking me how I was. I gave a pretty cold reply, and he hasn't replied since. Would I ever hear from him again? Did he make up his mind and realised he didn't want to see me anymore or is he still thinking?

We pisces need space, tons. I don't know who said we were the clingiest of all signs, it's important that you know this.

Back to your inquiry, im sensing he doesn't know yet. So there are moments when you will catch him all warmmy piscey easy lemon zesty and then, not. There could be other people he is seeing mind you, and that could be factoring into his indecisiveness.

Personally i don't string along people in any sense, but if i know what i am going to say won't be what you are expecting, i do take a couple of days to think on the kindest way to let you know, cause i really don't like to hurt people.

Then again, not every fish is the same.

May i suggest giving him some time, to interact as usual, not colder,

and after a couple of weeks bringing it up again.

That which grows slow,

grows strongest.

Grows true.

Keep your chin up mate.

You did both of you a favour tbh.

Him taking the time to think for a few days is not ghosting🤦‍♀️ Especially after only having been on a few dates!

You’re better off dating someone closer to your age who has the free time that you need.

Update: he just texted me asking if I wanted to know about 'where he found the best brownies this morning' (it's 6 in the evening when he texted). Could you guys tell me about what he's thinking and how I should reply? 😡)

Oops that was supposed to be an awkward smiling face emoticon

Posted by Scorpiogrlll

Update: he just texted me asking if I wanted to know about 'where he found the best brownies this morning' (it's 6 in the evening when he texted). Could you guys tell me about what he's thinking and how I should reply? 😡)

Lol, that so reminded me of my Pisces friend...lovely woman but never reliable and so flaky.

Where are his Moon and Mars?

I'm a Scorpio and if someone ghosted me, I'd not bother with them....strong men only

......we were meant to go out on her birthday and I texted to arrange to meet and she contacted me a year later 😀. She's like it with everyone

Space cadet lol

Posted by Scorpiogrlll

Posted by dilettante

but why’d you cold respond after you asked him to contact you when he made a decision? he literally texted you a pet name & you respondcoldly?

are you like 17 or some shit?

Heheh... Because I told him to text me when he made a decision, but all he did was pretend nothing happened and make small talk... Guess I blew it :/

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You may find he will ALWAYS do this to you.

I saw a pisces for a while and he did exactly that. Lots!

I would tell him something straight. But his reply a little later would be as if nothing happened!

Posted by pooface222

Posted by Scorpiogrlll

Posted by dilettante

but why’d you cold respond after you asked him to contact you when he made a decision? he literally texted you a pet name & you respondcoldly?

are you like 17 or some shit?

Heheh... Because I told him to text me when he made a decision, but all he did was pretend nothing happened and make small talk... Guess I blew it :/

You may find he will ALWAYS do this to you.

I saw a pisces for a while and he did exactly that. Lots!

I would tell him something straight. But his reply a little later would be as if nothing happened!

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That sounds exhausting to go through

Yeah so I asked him why are you telling me this (with a few 'hahahs' to make it light) and he said if you knew where to find the best brownies you'd tell me too. I was expecting him to ask me out to eat there but nope didn't happen. So I said 'oh thanks for the tip then haha' and he didn't reply :/

Even gave him an opening and was like 'it's not possible that you've found the best brownies bc you've never tried mine'

Posted by MareInfame

Posted by Scorpiogrlll

Yeah so I asked him why are you telling me this (with a few 'hahahs' to make it light) and he said if you knew where to find the best brownies you'd tell me too. I was expecting him to ask me out to eat there but nope didn't happen. So I said 'oh thanks for the tip then haha' and he didn't reply :/

Your “hahaha’s” are hilarious to me.🤣😂🤣😂



So, he texted you the place where you can find best brownies... and that was the end of that?

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Yeah so weird