ZODIAC JOKES !!!!1

Profile picture of mikeandhisdreams
mikeandhisdreams
@mikeandhisdreams
20 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 1472 · Topics: 151

Aries: "Okay, let's do it again!"

Taurus: "I'm hungry--pass the pizza."

Gemini: "Have you seen the remote?"

Cancer: "When are we getting married?"

Leo: "Wasn't I fantastic?"

Virgo: "I need to wash the sheets."

Libra: "I liked it if you liked it."

Scorpio: "Perhaps I should untie you."

Sagittarius: "Don't call me--I'll call you."

Capricorn: "Do you have a business card?"

Aquarius: "Now let's try it with our clothes off!"

Pisces: "What did you say your name was again?"


Which pet would go best with each sign?

Aries: Anything, as long as it's got a lot of energy!

Taurus: A turtle: it_s slow-moving, doesn_t need a lot of attention, and won_t compete with its owner for food.

Gemini: A talking parrot; need I say more? Well, of course I do, but--

Cancer: Anything, as long as it needs to be nurtured.

Leo: A big, bold, ferocious feline, as long as it doesn_t compete with its owner_s place in the sun.

Virgo: Let_s see, I have to get up at 7:30 to feed it, let it out at 7:45, at 10:00 I need to go to the grocery store to pick up three cans of food, which will cost $ 3.86, including tax--

Libra : Hm, good question. One the one hand, a dog is active, affectionate, and companionable. On the other hand, a cat is pretty independent and won_t require as much time and attention. Oh, I don_t know. What would you do? Are you sure?

Scorpio: A cat. Secretive, mysterious, and unpredictable. What_s not to like?

Sagittarius: A horse, of course! Let_s hope it_s got enough stamina to keep up with me.

Capricorn: Do I have to pay for it?

Aquarius : A hamster. First, I_ve got to set up a detailed cage with tubes going from here to here, and an energy sensor--they don_t make anything like that? That_s okay, I_m sure what I come up with will be much better.

Pisces : Fish. When their owner forgets about them for weeks on end, they_re easy to replace. If Pisces remembers to replace them...