Ah...my x aqua is confusing me....inputs needed.

So my so called aqua girl and I broke up weeks ago.

Ever since then, as some of you know, it's been very confusing trying to know and understand what I needed to do or not do to make things work again.

The last time we talk, I tried to see if I could see her again, but she didn't seem interested in doing that...to that point we had been talking almost every day...so that's why I was so confused and thought maybe we were getting back.

Because of that, I did most of what I could to let her know that I wanted to find a way out to make things work. I even drove down there one day, for fours hours, just to drop her flowers, a gift, and a note. She was very touched, but still, wasn't sure "when" we could see each other again...so of course it all came down to that one last talk, I brought up, since I needed to know what was going on...

Days after the last and final break up talk I get a message from her wishing me the best, I replied with one where I wished her the same, then she replied w an interesting e-mail, that ended in these lines:

"I do appreciate all the attempts you made to try to contact me and to try to sort things out...it was definitely not disregarded, but I think I just didn't know where I was with my feelings and didn't know how to handle everything. So I am sorry if you felt like I didn't care at all about all the nice things you were doing and saying to me-I did. You are right though about me giving up and not knowing whether or not it was the right thing to do...

So I hope you have the best birthday ever...and I will be thinking about you."

Once again, I'm confused...especially about the part where she said that she did give up, but "didn't know" if it was the right thing to do...What in the world?!
Do that sounds like she would want to get back? This girl confuses me so much...

Sometimes I feel like she's just being selfish again and she just wants to keep the options open with me...I don't know.
And if she's giving me a chance to try to get back together w her again, what in the world do I need to do? I'm afraid to do anything else right now and get pushed away again...

She texted me 3 times since then and she called me once. I texted her back telling her I was a bit scared to talk again and asked her if there was something good she wanted to say, to which she replied "I just wanted to wish you happy bday and apologize...it's ok".

I'm so confused right now...any thoughts, comments would help!!

Hi VLL,

I'm so sorry to see that you are still tormented by all of this. I know exactly how you feel. My advice to you is to forget about her...no matter how hard it might be. I think our Aquas just like to confuse us...maybe because they are confused themselves. Mine called me Sunday night after all. He said he didn't listen to my voice mail, but was concerned non the less. I told him exactly how I was feeling and after an hour long talk he left me with the feeling that we were still together. He told me to enjoy my trip and that bu the time I got back it would be Thursday and that he would come over and even stay the night. And then he said he was off this weekend and that we could see each other and that this month would be pretty good too because his work schedule wasn't too bad.

As you've probably guessed by now...he hasn't called. I broke down once again and called him but you know he never answers. So I left a message saying I thought we were going to see each other tonight. I know I'm making a complete fool of myself, but I can't help it. I just need to know where we stand.

Just like you, I keep trying to analyze the whole situation. I think we are just both wasting our time. We can give them all the time in the world, but they are the ones that have to come around.

I'm not sure why she keeps calling. Perhaps it's because the two of you have much more invested...it's harder for her to let go. My Aqua said if we broke up he would miss me a lot. Since it's only been a few months, it is probably a lot easier for him to let go.

I know how hard this is for you. We can't help but worry ourselves sick over it. I would say to try not to answer her or to text her back. Maybe she'll realize she made a mistake...it almost sounds as if she's considering that already. Try to give her time, but give yourself time, too. You told me that once...remember?

Hang in there...and if you need me, I'm here.

ginzette

Hi Ginzette and VLL,

Wow, do I feel for the both of you. I feel like the exact way you both do. I'm an Aquarian female who is very confused regarding a Virgo male. I totally understand you, Ginzette, regarding your Aqua male. Your Aqua male is acting just the same way as the Virgo guy in my case. I've done the calling and text messages in the recent, just like you, and get absolutely no where. It's like the Virgo guy in my case is mad at me and I have no idea what happened. He's really confused me. It's his birthday in a week and I have no idea if I should contact him or what. He hasn't called me in over a month now. Almost two weeks ago, I sent him 3 text messages saying I didn't like how he was treating me and that I was done. I wrote he wasn't going to be hearing from me ever again. I thought I'd hear from him but no. He never responded to me at all. I don't get it at all. He told me the last time we spoke there were a lot of things that were sick about him. When I asked him if I'd be hearing from him again he said: "Maybe, when he's better." I was very confused with that. I told him he could talk to me about anything to which he replied he knew that. I can't figure out if by him saying what he did, was that his way of ceasing contact with me or what. Like I wonder if I'll ever hear from him again. I've been so mad at him because I don't understand why he's treating me the way he is. I've always been nice with him so I don't deserve the silent treatment and that is exactly what I'm getting. I'm very bewildered to say the least.

As for you, VLL, your Aqua girl is very confused. I've been there also so I completely understand her and for you being confused. She doesn't want to let you go but knows deep down she can't give you what you deserve because the both of you are at different stages in life.

Mystical,

Wow. If I got a single text message from my aquaman i'd probably die from a heart attack. I left him a voicemail last night saying "i thought you were coming over...give me a call and let me know". He never called, so i couldn't help myself and i sent him a text message. I said "please call and let me know where we stand...i miss you". i know i probably should just leave things alone, but he did leave me with the impression that everything was going to be okay the last time we spoke.

Can i ask how long you've been seeing your virgo? virgos are crazy about their health, so perhaps there is something wrong with him physically and he's scared about it. Maybe you were a little harsh in texting him that he would never hear from you again. he probably thinks it's completely over. Perhaps you should text him something like "just thinking of you and hope you're feeling well...call me if you'd like to talk".

I know what you're going through because i told my guy that I didn't want to see HIM again and now i'm wondering why he's not calling. Maybe we were both just bluffing to see what kind of reaction we'd get from these guys? I've read that aquas like to test their mates. Was this a test possibly, to see how your virgo guy would respond? And is my aqua guy testing me to see how long i can go without hearing from him?

We virgos tend to over analyze...you're guy could be wondering right now what to make of everything. If you still want to see him (and not just as friends) then i would definately send him a message. If you just want to remain friends then you should give it more time. From my experience, it is hard for a virgo to "fall out of love". Freindship will come later after the pain goes away.

I hope this helps a little. And thanks for your insight as well. I'll keep you posted.

VLL:

Hope all is okay. I sent you a private message, so check it when you get a chance.

I am miserable, but hanging in there. These aquas really do have a way of stealing our hearts.

ginzette

Ginzette,

I understand when you say I was a little harsh with saying to Virgo guy he wouldn't hear from me again. I was really irritated by him at that time. To answer your question about whether Aquas test people and the answer is yes. I was testing him and thought I'd get a reaction out of him but got sadly disappointed. He is not my boyfriend but a very good friend. I've known him for 8 months now. He's tested me and tested me and I've never let him down as I know Virgos have a trust issue. I want him to be able to trust me but I don't know what I could have done to him. He seems to like to play mind games also with me which I don't like at all. Also I wasn't aware of that Virgos are really into health. I was so shocked when he told me there are many things sick about him. I have no intention of judging him at all. Therefore I don't understand why he'd push me away. We are good friends. However, I have let him set the pace of things. I normally don't call him or bother him ever. He wanted to be the one to do the calling. When I wouldn't hear from him for a while I would either call or send a text or do both. He always seemed happy to hear from me. He was very good at keeping in contact with me until the ending of July when something happened to which I don't know what it is. He called me on July 22nd to tell me there where many things sick about him which made me confused as I wasn't expecting for him say such a thing. I asked him would I be hearing from him again and he replied: "Maybe, when he's better". To be honest, I thought he was just joking with that I might be hearing from him again because when he called me, he was drunk then. Therefore I let a week go by and I attempted to call him just to find out how he was. He doesn't pick up. Then I sent him a text asking what was up and again he doesn't answer. Then I let another two weeks go by to which I still haven't heard from him. I attempted to call him but this time from my home phone where the number that would show in his mobile display "Anonymous caller" and all of a sudden he picks up. When I've used my cell phone where my number shows up, he doesn't answer. Anyway, I was so shocked he answered that I panicked and hung up on him. Then I waited about a minute and used my cell phone to call him to which he doesn't answer. So I sent him a text asking for him to call me back. Again, I get no response. At this point (which is in the middle of August) I'm getting fed up.

Then I sent him a text asking him if we still are friends as I'd like to know since he wasn't responding to me. As usual he never responded to that message either. About 6 hours after sending the text asking if he and I are still friends, I decided then to give up on everything and that is when I sent him the text messages saying I was done and that he'd never be hearing from me again. Now it's been 2 weeks ago I sent those text messages and I haven't heard from him at all. His birthday is next Friday, and I'd really like to say happy birthday to him as it's a big day but how can I? I mean, I said he'd never hear from me again so how can I go back on my word. If I go back on my word than I'm looked upon as weak and someone who doesn't mean what they say. The longer it goes that I don't hear from him, he's making it clear that he doesn't want to have anything more to do with me. The frustrating part is I asked him the last time we talked (at the ending of July) if I'd done anything wrong to him (I knew I hadn't but I wanted to hear him say it) and he said absolutely not. However, I don't understand the silent treatment at all. I'm scared to call him because I don't want to be looked upon as someone who caves in as I'm a strong girl. I'm a type of person that likes to get answers to things. I'd really like to find out why he's acting the way he is. He has told me previously that he always comes back. Is that true? Do Virgos always come back? If so, why disappear to begin with?

I just don't know what to do. If I should let him take contact with me, or if I should just forget about everything? He's told me he doesn't scare easily, but it looks like he has. I'm confused because I'd like to open up the communication between him and I, but how can I do this? I'm at a lost for words.

Oh, and yes, your Aqua guy is testing you to see how long he can go before you take contact with him. He knows if he doesn't take contact with you, that you'll take contact with him. It's like a mind game. Who can wait the longest. Right now, he's winning as you are the one contacting him. What you have to do is leave him be, even if it's hard, and let him wonder about you. Aquas love to wonder about others. Just like my case, I'm wondering about the Virgo guy and it's very infuriating. If you keep yourself busy and not contact him for weeks, you will hear from him as he'll be curious about you. As long as you take contact with him he won't have to do anything.

"As for you, VLL, your Aqua girl is very confused. I've been there also so I completely understand her and for you being confused. She doesn't want to let you go but knows deep down she can't give you what you deserve because the both of you are at different stages in life."

-that describes an aqua to a tee...i was with an aqua guy for 2 years and he broke up with me with no explanation and started dating another girl. now, he is telling me how much he misses me and can't stop thinking about me and how he isn't ready to date other girls. he is very confused and he doesn't want to let me go at all, but he thinks he cannot fulfill my needs or live up to my standards, or bring the relationship to the next level ...wow, i can completely relate to the above quote...what do you do—

"If you keep yourself busy and not contact him for weeks, you will hear from him as he'll be curious about you. As long as you take contact with him he won't have to do anything."

-also very true...i stopped contacting my aqua ex a month and a half ago, so he has been calling/texting me b/c he is wondering what i am doing and why i am not contacting him. and now he is telling me how much he misses me, etc...and i have to wonder if those words are genuine or if he is only like this now b/c i have been ignoring him...—

moonchild8:

"he is very confused and he doesn't want to let me go at all, but he thinks he cannot fulfill my needs or live up to my standards, or bring the relationship to the next level"

These are almost the exact words my aqua guy used to a tee! I was shocked to hear him say something like this because it's only been two months. I asked him what he meant by that and things like "let's see where it goes". I asked him where did he mean, and he started talking about marriage. I think he feels if you are in a committed relationship, the next level is marriage. He'll say things like "I'm just not ready to get married...I mean it's not that I'm not ready". It's like he keeps contradicting himself. I can't tell you how many times he's said something along those lines. And I was very careful to never mention marriage at all except for the one time we were taking a bath and said something like "if we ever get married someday we have to get a hot tub". I caught myself and vowed never to say anything like that again and that was very early on in the relationship. But he is always saying things like that.

Do you really think I need to wait weeks to hear from him? And does anyone really call someone after that much time has gone by? And what...will he just want to friends at that point?

Do you think I made a mistake by texting him last night? I sit here all night waiting for the phone to ring and then it doesn't and I get antsy. I just want answers from him.

I did manage to go on another date with someone, just to keep busy. But then it came to the goodnight kiss and I just felt horrible.

I miss him so much already. It's been 5 days since I've spoken to him. How in God's name am I going to be able to wait weeks?

yes...he will call eventually...and yes, he will call after weeks have gone by, aqua are very good at that!!!
don't call or text him anymore and don't wait for his phone call...please don't do it. you will drive yourself crazy if you do this. why are you stitting at home waiting for him to call...go out with your girlfriends and get your mind off of it...i am telling you, DO NOT dwell on it...continue on with your daily life.
you want answers from him...you will have to wait until he calls you. aquas do things on their time...he will come around eventually and you will eventually get your answers...but you must not push him. LOL...i waited almost 4 months to get an answer from the aqua i dated...you have to hang in there.
and, if you can't wait weeks to hear from him, you probably shouldn't be dating him...it's not going to get any better...trust me!!!

moonchild8:

thank you, thank you!!! i won't call him. i know i can do it! i got invited to a party this weekend, so i have plenty to keep me busy. i will try not to dwell on it and let him call me. i know he will once he sorts it all out.

keep on motivating me. i feel better already! you're the best!!!

woah!

you guys, my aqua girl, used the same exact line!

we had long discussion after that, but that is exactly what she brought up the last time i saw her...

wow...hmmmm....maybe after all aquas are not as unpredictable as we all think 😉

lol

...

mystical,

you sound so much like my exgf in your thoughts. thank you for any inputs you share with me, i appreciate it tons!

as far as your virgo guy...ahh...well the whole "taking space" time is also typical in virgos...so if i were you i'd try to stay in touch with him, even if little here and there...

just make sure you aren't as random. bc she may get confused like i am...and get even more scared to call you back...thinking you are playing with his mind. be short, but honest and hint the subject you need to talk about...then he'll know you aren't playin and it will be up to him to make the next move....

when i retrieve is usually bc i've done something that i'm not proud of, or because i'm hurting, or because there is a inner conflict happening in me...that makes me want to run away and hide...

eventually i come back...i never forget, i just put walls of protection until i feel a bit more at peace or safe again...

hope that helps.

right now, i think i'll be taking a litrle break from x aqua...maybe she truly feels the way you said she does...and so i guess there is nothing i can do to help her conflicting feelings other than wait, am i right? i wonder if i should stay silent...or in touch casually...but briefly too....

ginzette,

oh goodness...what are we going to do with these aquas huh?

i'm so sorry to hear that your bf or x bf is still doing the "same old thing"...once again, a bit predictable by now huh...

i KNOW the feeling of confusion...i wonder if they realize how confusing it can be for us.

i'm all about going w the flow too, but to a certain extent you know...i need a place of consistency and stability to feel safe...
so, i don't know if truly some aquas could provide that for us...maybe the aquas that are ready to compromise a little are...so i think it is a matter of what stage they are at...what do you think?

thank you for caring about my situation...

i've also did go on a date...the girl is very cute, sweet, and loving ginzette, maybe what i need, but i'm so scared to get involved again and to lose my x aqua completely sometimes...i'm sorting all my feelings right now...evaluating things and carefully walking...keep me posted.

and ginzette...we should maybe try doing what mystical and other aquas suggested...and give our exes the time to think and miss us a bit...and meanwhile keep on living and seeking deep within us for what we need too.

what if they truly are in the aqua stage...where they truly just want to do whatever they want...how are we going to be happy then?

now, if they come back over time with a plan or some fair ideas to make it work with us...maybe then...but even if they would want us back...what are getting into again...what is going to change or not change this time? i ask myself this question...

"now, if they come back over time with a plan or some fair ideas to make it work with us...maybe then...but even if they would want us back...what are getting into again...what is going to change or not change this time? i ask myself this question..."

-VLL...ummm, that is where i am at right now. my aqua broke up with me almost 4 months ago and now he is acting as if he wants to get back together...for me, it is hard b/c i do still have feelings for him...but i do not want to put myself through the agony i have already been through once before...and, people don't change that quickly!!! so, i have a tough decision to face right now.

It sounds like we are all in the same boat, huh? I know what you mean, VLL, about being afraid of losing your aqua completely. I told mine that a friend of a friend was interested in me...and that I don't know how to answer someone when they ask if I have a boyfriend. I always say "well...I'm sort of seeing someone". I wish I could remember his response to this. But that's kind of why I sent him the text message about letting me know where we stand. I don't want to "cheat on him". But am I really doing that? Is it really over? And somehow I think if he still wants to see me that he won't have a plan to make things better. That it will still have to be his way. And I am almost wondering if I should just accept it, just to be with him, and that maybe our relationship could still grow...at whatever pace he wants it to. But I know what you mean when you say "what would be getting into again". Could we truely be happy in that kind of relationship?

There is a part of me that wishes that I never said anything to him. Maybe we would still be together. I just don't know. But I couldn't let it go on the way it was...especially the not calling. I only told him, though, that I wasn't mad when he didn't call...only when he said he was going to call and then didn't. He always seemed to be making excuses.

Oh I can go over it and over it! What's the use? It's just that the waiting is killing me!

Thanks to all of you for being here for me. I don't know what I'd do without you.

moonchild8:

Sorry...I guess I'm still dwelling! It's just so hard not to. I keep thinking about all of the wonderful moments we shared...the laughter...the great conversations...the sex...it was truly amazing...and I know he felt the same way. He should be missing me like crazy by now.

But don't worry...at least I'm not sitting around crying. I will wait as long as it takes, and as the days go by I will feel better about things and have a clear mind when he does call.

I ignored mine, did not contact him, for two weeks, and now hes sending how are you? he never messaged, they do it when ur getting over them, to get their egos pumped i think...damn them! but its so true, they get all curious, if u leave them alone, I am for the first time, not in the mood to respond to him, its taken many nights alone, and thoughts to feel strong, now how i can i go back there, even to hear his voice will set me back;(

quiizzet! thats so funny my aqua ex thought that being in something committed would be a step away from marriage, if i just asked him for a little extra time, like one more coffee per week, he'd say im not ready to get married?!@!!!!! halirous!! i think they are mad!!!

moonchild, are u seroius?? now hes telling u that? i really think ignoring them works, and ive been doing that just to move on for myself. what have u told him? and how did u ignore him exactly? u did not answer his calls? or what?

Qinzette-we have the saaaame story, I kept thinking ok, i'll stay at his pace to make it work, but to be really honest, i started feeling shit -although we had all these great moments together(8 months) i just couldn;t carry it on.Its not that I wanted it to be a full on commit, just felt him so far away from me, when i was close

Oh man...you guys are killing me. I can't believe how similar our situations are. I keep telling myself, today's gonna be the day he calls. He's never gone this long without calling me. And I'm not really sure we broke up in the first place. So should I act like nothing happened if he does call? Just be casual, or what? I can't believe his curiosity isn't getting to him yet. Moonchild said it could take weeks, but I just can't see him letting that much time go by. I think by then he would be completely over me. If he does call eventually, I'm not even sure I could talk to him. I know my heart will be in my throat. And if he calls me soon, do you think I should ignore him for a bit. Like not answer and let him call me more than once...or wait to return his call. I'm so anxious to hear from him that I'll have to stop myself from answering on the first ring.

Maybe he won't ever call at all, and I'm getting my hopes up for nothing. I still just find it al so confusing.

Hi guys.

Just thought I'd let you know he still hasn't called. It's been over a week now. I was away with friends for the weekend and I had no cell service. So I thought...this is great...if he calls he'll get my voicemail and be curious. But no call. I can't believe a person would leave things hanging and just never call again. I guess he's just trying to take the easy way out. I know moonchild said he will call eventually, but I doubt it.

Anyhow, I have gone out with this other guy a couple of times now, and,lucky me, he's an aqua, too! Can you believe? So we'll see if I learned from my mistakes. He seems similar...free spirited and all, likes his space...but a little different, too. Easier to get along with. I'm just going to keep things casual for now. I have no expectations.

If I hear from my main guy, I'll let you know. Good luck to everyone else.

ginzette...like i had said before, it may take a couple of weeks before he contacts you. once you don't call for a while, he will get curious as to what you are up to and he will probably come around...just gotta be patient!

Thanks moonchild! It is getting a little bit easier. He'll probably call when I least expect it. I'm just wondering if it will be to make idle chit chat or if he'll really want to see me again. We'll see. Who knows...maybe by then I'll want little to do with him. In the mean time, I'm having a lot of fun getting to know other people.

yeah...my aqua broke up with me almost 4 months ago...and i was in the process of getting to know other people...and now he has come back...so, just be aware that he will probably return when you least expect it!!! especially if he is a typical aqua.

so have you taken him back? i know you said you were thinking about it. do you think he'll be different or that things will be better? do you love him? sorry if i'm prying. i just don't know how to handle it when he does calls. any thoughts would help.

i have been talking to my aqua and we hung out the other day...i am being very cautious and taking things day by day. i realize that if i want things to work this time, a different approach must be taken. i think that if i act differently to the siuation, then so will he.

when he calls you, if you are still interested in pursuing something with him...then just act normal, be yourself.

how long were the two of you together for—

Only two months...but it seems like longer. We spent three days a week together in the beginning. I don't know...maybe I'm hoping for too much. But he shared a lot with me...things about his job and past relationships. We seemed to get really close in a short amount of time.

I am going to take your advice if he calls. I hope it works out for the two of you. The slow approach I think is the best way to go. Keep me posted.

i don't know what to say...but 2 months is a very short time. especially for an aqua, b/c they tend to be slow movers and i think that in 2 months an aqua guy would probably look at a girl as more of a friend. it is way too soon for labels or anything serious...
maybe getting really close to you in a short amount of time scared him away...who knows. that is just a guy thing in general...well more of a young guy thing!

i hope it works out for me and aqua as well...i will let you know!

ginzette and moonchild...just stopping by to say hello.

how is the x-aqua situation working for you both?

i haven't talked with my ex for about 2 oer 3 weeks now, and the last and only time i texted her back was days and days ago.

i had the choice to call her back and e-mail back....because after some days afetr tha last talk she tried to reach me...but i know for me this wouldn't be good...since i'm kinda exhausted of the unsureness and confusion she seems to have still...

i still miss her sometimes, but some others, i just think i did what i could to fix things towards the end...and it was her who didn't helped in recusing our relationship again...so i won't put myself throuhg that again.

i think she's fun and cute, but very selfish and inconsiderate too...and i don't know that i'm into that as much to be honest...

meanwhile, i met a really sweet girl, who is so very cute and also so very sweet with me...i'm not rushing into anything...but i'm up for seeing her a bit...
i think she may want to persue more (she already told me) but as i move out of my previous feelings i want to make sure i give this new girl what she needs when its time...and right now i need a little more healing time....

i wish you good luck!

stay in touch when u can...

VLL

VLL...glad to hear you are doing better!!! good luck with your new catch...just take it day by day and don't rush into anything. i definitely agree that you still need time to heal.

well, as for me, i am attempting to get back on track with my aqua ex...he is the one who pursued it actually and so now we have been talking about things, and although i am being very cautious, i am willing to see where it takes us. i need to see change and growth on his part, which he acknowledges, and then i will see if i am ready to start a relationship with him once again. i am doing this because i love him very much and i am still in love with him, and in my heart i have faith and believe it can work. i know that he loves me and never stopped loving me even though we were not together. he ran away from his feelings b/c he was scared, which isn't an excuse for what he did...but i understand and i am willing to help him through his fears.

moonchild,

good luck with this new decision...you really do love this aqua guy.
i hope he doesn't ever take for granted what he has with you again.

it is so true about loving someone so much that you are willing to walk through their fears...i was willing to do the same...maybe i didn't put my words as clearly as that line in my last e-mail to my ex aqua, but i don't even know if its necessary anymore.

i thought i was willing to do that for her, but the problem was that..first she has a hard time recognizing her mistakes and fears (i was pretty honest about mine) and secondly, she didn't seem to be willing to help me through mine...

i think sometimes aquas give up earlier than they should in relationships (unless they are stuck in a weird situation) because since they are a fixed sign (no willing to change much for anyone) they think all people think alike...and that is not the case at all...but i see their reasoning behind that.

anyhow, i'm kinda done with the story of mine.
i'm still hurt and very dissapointed at the way things turned out to be. i don't even know what to think about her anymore...right now i just don't know that i can trust her intentions with me again...

good luck though! i hope you have the peace and love you need this time.

vll