be prepared for your sex life to end

I've been hearing this since I told some of my married friends about my engagement ring (3~ladies, 1~male). When I told the ladies they were happy for me at first, but then they told me stuff like: "Enjoy the sex while you can; Oh i had a beautiful wedding, i didnt know it would be the end of my sex life."

All of these women have been married for like 7-10 years. The guy just said, "Well your gonna have it good for the next 2-3 years after that, its private moments in the bathroom for 'me time'.


I know that all marriages are not the same.

So can you give some tips for after the nuptials or if you chose not to get married and are together how do you keep that fire going?.

Can I just keep doing the same thing I'm doing now (adding variety,surprises, etc)? Because I love it and he loves it. We're always all over each other. I want that to be the case always...I'm expecting the same amount of intimacy I have now for my entire marriage....is that naive.

What is it about marriage that seems to make the intimate part drizzle away?

Posted by chemengin

What is it about marriage that seems to make the intimate part drizzle away?

same old same old

Not quite sure why you need to try and make sex interesting - I thought it was already! LOL. Lots of married people enjoy sex - I think the feedback you got is just unfortunate. Though having kids can put the dampners on it. Don't try so hard. Go with it and enjoy each other's company. Sexuality activity changes right throughout your life.

Posted by LibraRose
Not quite sure why you need to try and make sex interesting - I thought it was already! LOL. Lots of married people enjoy sex - I think the feedback you got is just unfortunate. Though having kids can put the dampners on it. Don't try so hard. Go with it and enjoy each other's company. Sexuality activity changes right throughout your life.

your right. i need to relax. havent even got the damn ring yet and im freaking out. thanks

Posted by rockchick10110
apprently ive heard the same from many of my friends also which is why I am not even thinking about getting married. Its the fear of things drying out that scares me the most

i understand that, thats why i held out for so long. in my 20's all i wanted to do is get my education and live in the chem/engineering lab. i wasnt thinking about this stuff. I was a total nerd.

It's not the marriage that caused this, ladies! If you live together for all those years, it will have the same effect. It becomes more about companionship than sex. Life gets hectic, people come home tired, you get older, kids take your energy, etc. In some marriages, sex has to be fit in where you can or even scheduled. It's really not a huge deal. I would trade daily sex for a life partner every time.

Ask yourself this-why does it have to change? Bcus someone else said so? PLEASE! If you want your sex life to continue grab ahold of it (pun intended-if that is what came into your mind 😛) and make sure it stays the way you are your soon to be hubby want it!
Just bcus your married doesn't mean you cannot invest the time, effort, fun and passion into your life to keep it in the bedroom! Your married! Your moving on to the next phase of your sex life and if you ask me that is the BEST phase to be in! 🙂

Posted by Whimsy
It's not the marriage that caused this, ladies! If you live together for all those years, it will have the same effect. It becomes more about companionship than sex. Life gets hectic, people come home tired, you get older, kids take your energy, etc. In some marriages, sex has to be fit in where you can or even scheduled. It's really not a huge deal. I would trade daily sex for a life partner every time.

This!

I have some advice for people who are considering the "married and kids" set-up.

If the men still want to have sex, they better make sure they don't take the girl too far away from her Mom and Dad.

That way, the comfort zone of family is there if she likes spending time with them. Also, you can put the children at their house when you want some time alone with her.

Many married women admit that there is a strong reason they don't like having sex with the man after children are born:

They fear the children will come into the room during the sex!

So, make sure you take the children somewhere for the evening (or perhaps get a nice hotel one evening) while the kids are with the in-laws.

Or if you actually teach your children that relations between two that love each other is wholesome and natural it eradicates the notion that you need to sequester them in a tower. Yes it's nice to have no interruptions, but it's also nice to get crafty. 15 minutes while Sebastian is singing can be just as hot and wrung out as something planned. Marriage needn't foil sex, if anything it affords freedom ( and yes, I am including any living together situ, not just two rings here ). Keep on touching, kissing, being as cornball romantic as you like and keep that communication flowing. Feeling/being attractive is helpful, for ones self esteem. Self esteem is sexy. Nothing wrong with dancing in the living room with a glass of wine as opposed to going out for the night. It's about how two feel, you're feeling them, you want to sex them up. Just that simple. Keep the circle going. You want to grab that mans ass on the way to the can ..you grab it, and cup him for good measure. He wants to kiss the side of your neck bumbling off to get a tie, please do. If you cannot make love, promise naughty things with your eyes. Slip him a note or text at random times telling him you want him. Back on you as a woman. Nothing dries up if you feed it. Relationships are work, they need tending and ministration to thrive and continue to do so. Put down strong roots and it will feed you.

Posted by cheekyfaerie

Posted by venusianbull
Or if you actually teach your children that relations between two that love each other is wholesome and natural it eradicates the notion that you need to sequester them in a tower. Yes it's nice to have no interruptions, but it's also nice to get crafty. 15 minutes while Sebastian is singing can be just as hot and wrung out as something planned. Marriage needn't foil sex, if anything it affords freedom ( and yes, I am including any living together situ, not just two rings here ). Keep on touching, kissing, being as cornball romantic as you like and keep that communication flowing. Feeling/being attractive is helpful, for ones self esteem. Self esteem is sexy. Nothing wrong with dancing in the living room with a glass of wine as opposed to going out for the night. It's about how two feel, you're feeling them, you want to sex them up. Just that simple. Keep the circle going. You want to grab that mans ass on the way to the can ..you grab it, and cup him for good measure. He wants to kiss the side of your neck bumbling off to get a tie, please do. If you cannot make love, promise naughty things with your eyes. Slip him a note or text at random times telling him you want him. Back on you as a woman. Nothing dries up if you feed it. Relationships are work, they need tending and ministration to thrive and continue to do so. Put down strong roots and it will feed you.

Beautiful...

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+1 I totally agree. well said. 😄

Posted by ScorpioFish
I have some advice for people who are considering the "married and kids" set-up.

If the men still want to have sex, they better make sure they don't take the girl too far away from her Mom and Dad.

That way, the comfort zone of family is there if she likes spending time with them. Also, you can put the children at their house when you want some time alone with her.

Many married women admit that there is a strong reason they don't like having sex with the man after children are born:

They fear the children will come into the room during the sex!

So, make sure you take the children somewhere for the evening (or perhaps get a nice hotel one evening) while the kids are with the in-laws.

I would have to agree with this. Before my parents split up, i walked in on them a lot. 😢

Posted by aquaj

What is it about marriage that seems to make the intimate part drizzle away?

Uh... maybe the fact that you're having sex with the same person? The drive for sexual novelty is innate and in its absence, sex drive falls off considerably. It's why couples go from sex 6 times a day in the first 2 months to sex twice a week after a couple years (if they're lucky). Well, what are you gonna do - play musical chairs for the rest of your life with your crotch? Just accept that you're neutered and go grab some dinner together.

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that sucks and exactly not what i want. thank god for viagara. i have a very high sex drive and doubt if will drizzle. i say this because of my granny, aunts, mother and other cousins.

Posted by NikkiMse1978
Ask yourself this-why does it have to change? Bcus someone else said so? PLEASE! If you want your sex life to continue grab ahold of it (pun intended-if that is what came into your mind 😛) and make sure it stays the way you are your soon to be hubby want it!
Just bcus your married doesn't mean you cannot invest the time, effort, fun and passion into your life to keep it in the bedroom! Your married! Your moving on to the next phase of your sex life and if you ask me that is the BEST phase to be in! 🙂

thank you! so i will keep doing what i'm doing. because i need the variety so i dont get bored either.

Posted by seraph
Correct me if I'm wrong, but two people can be together and enjoy a shared life *without* a marriage contract. Nor must two people spend all their time together, under the same roof. A little absence and scarcity now and then increases value.

Nothing is worse than unwieldy, pressure-packed unions on account of social expectations. We expect too much of marriage.

hey i said that, "So can you give some tips for after the nuptials or if you chose not to get married and are together how do you keep that fire going?. "

my aunt has been with her partner for 30 years. mmm 30 years with the same man for 30 years!!!! 😢


your right absence and scarcity now and then does increase value.

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by chemengin

What is it about marriage that seems to make the intimate part drizzle away?

same old same old

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yea that would get boring even for me.

Your sex life will end if the two of you end it. Just because you are engaged or married does not mean it is going to die. Maybe it did for your friends because of their reasoning and attitude for it. For so many their sex life got even better. It is what you make of it. And Congrats on the engagement!

Well being single and being married both have its advantages and disadvantages what these are I guess I had better find out, hahahaha. Though I know I will never be married again coz theres no one out there for me and also single sex and one night stands are the go quick and easy and more fun atm but yeh I am looking for the ultimate bonding sex which is not real so why even bother with it anyway, it leaves you feeling empty and looking like a dickhead for both males and females and really its sorta like so f'n trashy I dont why I even entertain any thoughts of sex at all. Oh well I guess I am 'human' afterall, find it most distracting and really uncomfortable especially when I am really attracted to someone and i want to bonk them senseless and I wont let myself do it cause its jut physical and thats it but then again maybe thats something I need sex without strings coz usually I am very clingy when I really like someone so maybe having sex for just having sex would be a good thing. Never thought of it that way. I dont know really I dont see mto find any reason for it unless theres a connection b/w the two ppl involved and coz myex and I had that connection, I am still finding rather hard to find any connection to anyone anymore so do I let them fuck me and pretend to go with the flow when thats not me at all? Or do I just tell them I am not interested when I really am get to get them off my back what to do? I never was the one to fuck around though I have had a few one nights when I couldnt handle it anymore but to have ppl call you a slut and whore coz your tryin to explore that area of yourself is really a mean thing to do and to make you a joke by getting their bestfriend and others to fuck you to teach you a lesson is low when all you need to do is explore your sexuality and yeh in my gemini moon bout it, one hand yeh go for it other hand no its trashy why would I do that to myself, sex heh? More headache than anything really if you dont get it you get a headache if you do get it you get a headache, addiction to the feeling of it the rush of it. Yeh either spiral downward or upward depends on how its used. Guess the person who used me and set me up needs to realise that if he doesnt come and see me that he will have lost the chance to be with me coz I am moving on with or without him. Well I think hes left it too late really, which is a shame coz we would have been great together I hope he finds what he after and good luck to him. Also I dont want to

be with someone who ridicules me and lies to others about me or shows my private blogs to others to humiliate me just so he can feel better about himself, also if he wants to kill me then why doesnt he? and also why doesnt he sue me he has enough information to frame me and make it look like whatever he wants it to look like. All this because I want to live my own life and do what I want to do, make my own mistakes etcetc. Yeh also he thinks we are in a relationship coz I was head over heels in love with him coz I look up to him and just find him so no words can explain it and then he goes an says to me you are mentally deranged and I'll have you put ina mental institution if you dont shutup so I me think wow this is wha t i get when I know he is the one for me and of course it sounds mental but you really think I want to be with someone like you? Sorry prefer to be with myex and my kids rather than with you anyday but have resigned myself to try and understand whats really going on. So that leves us now he always trys to test me not knowing that I can see thru this and its gotten old and really wish he would for once look into himself and ask himself if he feels the same way and be honest with me about how he feels whether good or bad. I did not ask of this it came my way and yeh I aint happy with it neither so stop belittling me and get on with it. Yeh so whether he does come up or not I still have my life to sort out, it would be nice of him to considerate if that how he truly felt but I dont want him to see if it not in his heart yet another ploy to get at me like before. I hope he decides what he will do coz I can not wait anymore I have opened my heart to him only to receive alot of hurt from him and for him to do that towards me is horrible and especially when I thought he was someone I could trust and someone who was a true friend,someone who understood. He betrayed my trust by hurting me and myex, spreading lies and lying to me and hacking into my pc only to spy on me and having other ppl spy on me getting me to react to situations then blaming me for it and then yeh gets everyone to hate me coz he says stuff for them to hate me, also gets ppl to kill myexs friends and makes it look like I did it due to my anger I felt at having to leave myex for this guy! I mean it goes on and really I think the best thing for me and him is to never have anything to do with one another again. If he goes and treats me with disrespect when all I was doing was being

honest with how I felt when I going the hardest time of my life pretends to love and says that he does and never comes to visit then why in the world would I ever think he would come see me when really he really wants me in the ground six foot under and will do anything and involve anyone to have this done. I know he wont come see me even though I wish he would have it in his heart that he does truly love me coz if he would be here already and not even be talking to me bout going to see me and yeh so I leave it to him. The balls in his court, I know he knows where I live and the flatmates I am living with so he can just knock on the door this afternoon and say hello but he wont and he wonders why I am upset? and why I think he is a joke that he cant be trusted and that he lies? Mmmm yes well we will see if he does do what he says he will do.

Actually to be honest I do not think we are compatiable in any way at all! So maybe thats why your stalling and not seeing me and if thats the reason then plz do not see me.

Best way to get anyones sex life to end is to get your bestfriend to sleep with them then ridicule them about it and blame them for it and also pay others to sleep with them and humiliate them by doing that also get guys/girls (by paying them or however you can) to go up to them to try and get with them and if successful berate them silly. Its funny all this happened to me and I cant stop half smiling coz when I first knew that this was going on I was angry but now I am sad for you that you would go this far to stop me from enjoying myself due whatever reason/s in your head, you can not force a person to submit and I wont unless I want to and the more you do of this the less I will, you must let me come to you without pressuring me. Back off, take it easy if you cant do that then find someone else who is more suited to you coz we do is argure and fight and I am sick of it.

Posted by seraph

Posted by NikkiMse1978
Ask yourself this-why does it have to change? Bcus someone else said so? PLEASE! If you want your sex life to continue grab ahold of it (pun intended-if that is what came into your mind 😛) and make sure it stays the way you are your soon to be hubby want it!
Just bcus your married doesn't mean you cannot invest the time, effort, fun and passion into your life to keep it in the bedroom! Your married! Your moving on to the next phase of your sex life and if you ask me that is the BEST phase to be in! 🙂

Are you married?

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No, I am not. Does it really matter if I am?

Posted by cheekyfaerie

Posted by seraph

Posted by NikkiMse1978
Ask yourself this-why does it have to change? Bcus someone else said so? PLEASE! If you want your sex life to continue grab ahold of it (pun intended-if that is what came into your mind 😛) and make sure it stays the way you are your soon to be hubby want it!
Just bcus your married doesn't mean you cannot invest the time, effort, fun and passion into your life to keep it in the bedroom! Your married! Your moving on to the next phase of your sex life and if you ask me that is the BEST phase to be in! 🙂

Are you married?

Does it matter? If you're right, you're right.

Make a date. Even if you aren't feeling it to start with, I can almost guarantee you will be once you start. And frilly things and toys go a long way. Role play, porn... imagination. Ladies, wear the makeup and Fellas, watch the beer gut. Being married doesn't mean you stop trying, ya know.

It also means that at the end of the day, you're more than just a sexual relationship so bear in mind your sex life will change as your relationship does. Doesn't hafta be a bad thing.

And seraph, I can agree with you too. It's gonna sound all angsty teen of me, but why comply to labels, man. 😄

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Thank you! 🙂

Oh dear - I am waiting to get married so my sex life can start!!!!