Cancer Man Tentatively Back in the Picture

Hello all!

I've come to this site many times before, but this is my first post.

I'm a Scorpio woman.

Most recently ...
Last summer/fall, I met and dated this Cancer guy.

The connection was instantaneous and tremendous!
There was so much in common, and it got intense quickly.

He was the first to admit feelings.
We talked in terms of future plans and such.

Then out of the blue ...
He began to go quiet.
At first, I didn't think anything was "red flag" about it.
I figured he needed a breather, and I'm the type of person who totally gets needing time to oneself. Especially since things had gotten so hot and heavy so suddenly.
But as things continued and he got more and more quiet, I figured something was up.

I reached out to finally express my concern that something was wrong.
He finally opened up a bit and said he didn't think he felt right and didn't know what he really wanted in his life right now.

I respected that and things ended really cordially.
In fact, we remained friends on social media.

Every now and then, he'd like or comment on something I would post, and every now and then, I'd do the same with him.

Meanwhile, I did my part to move on.
I went back onto the dating sites and went on a few dates (and actually hit it off somewhat with some of the newer guys).

My ex presumably did his own thing.

Fast forward to about a month ago.

I had posted a picture, and, as he has done occasionally, he commented. Unlike before, it was more of a teasing/flirting comment though.

I private messaged him - figuring that using the messaging feature would add a buffer to things - to keep things "above board". I simply asked how he was doing.
Next thing you know ...
We started having this big conversation ... Teasing and flirting ...
It was just like old times!

We made plans to meet up.
It fell through - he told me he had to work extra.

A week later, he told me he had cancelled because he had been seeing somebody else (but it wasn't serious), and even though nothing had been going on, he just wasn't the multiple-dater type.

I respected that, and back to our respective corners we went.

A few weeks passed by and once again, he made his presence known on another post of mine.

Politely I reached out to say hi. Next thing you know, back into heavy conversation we go.
He invited me over, but I thought he was joking. No, he was serious, it turns out.

Not that very moment, but the next day, I took him up on the offer.

Wowza!
It was like it always was between us ... Intense and sensual.

In a quiet moment, he initiated talk about getting together again.

Fast forward to a few days ago ...
We were talking about our "reunion" and such.
We were talking about what was going on between us and how to proceed.
Here's where he hedged and said, let's not force things and see how things go and take it from there.

Why does he keep dipping back into my life, only to then hold me at bay?

Guard your heart Scorp.

Don't. trust him.

He may have something serious going on with the other girl that he's seeing and is just keeping you around because he know you like him alot and you can be his fallback girl incase things don't workout with the other girl.

Proceed with caution, dear Scorp. Be careful not to allow yourself to be used. Men are all about "the chase." When you move on, they begin to want what they can't have, and so the pursuit begins, and in their pursuit they're learning how to manipulate you. They're discovering what to say and do to charm and seduce you. Give a little to keep him interested, but not too much, and absolutely no sex without commitment first. Even men who care will take advantage of the opportunity to have you without promising you anything - including exclusivity.
Play the game if you desire, but never relinquish your power.

because he knows
you will allow him to.
any person who will
let them come do that
will get much of that.

you deserve better, and
you hold the power in it.
when you tire of dealing
with this and choose to
end this, it will end.

Thanks everyone so far!

A bit more detail ...

My Cancer guy ...
He does know how to commit.
He was married once for about 2 years. It just didn't work out between them and now they are distantly cordial / friendly with one another.

Also, he has been clinically diagnosed with severe anxiety (to the point of medication when it gets really bad).


Scorpion me ...

I am a classic people pleaser.
I have been told by sooo many people - based on whatever the situation is - that I am wayyy too nice for my own good.
I'll admit that I do have a little bit of a problem standing up for myself.
The rare occasion that I do ...
My Scorpion intensity kicks in big time.

When Cancer guy and I dated the first time, I did ask him if I had gotten a bit too intense (being self-aware) ... He admitted yes, a little bit.
I very much saw (based a lot on what I have read here, in fact) him retreat back to his shell in a lot of ways.

I had then moved on but he would "check" or "test the waters" every now and then with me ...

Based on other posts I have read here, the Cancer in him couldn't quite let me go and that's why he's popped up again.

I'm a big girl enough to recognize that if, in the end, our "hook up" this past weekend was just that - a "hook up" ... Fine. I haven't had that "itch" scratched in a long while, so that was satisfying enough.

If, our "hook up" possibly was the rekindling of things between us, then great! I'm willing to give it another try!

His hedging just gives me pause ...
And I don't know if that's his actual anxiety speaking, his Cancerian ways speaking, or what ...