he cancelled our 3rd date?!

We met on Tinder. Went on 2 amazing dates with him, he's been texting me everyday since, and he's the one to always initiate contact (I think i initiated only twice for the two weeks we've been talking). Last time I saw him was Tuesday, then Thursday he asked me to hang out again Friday but because I had plans, I suggested Sunday. He agreed. Saturday night when we were texting back and forth, he said he maybe had to take a raincheck cuz he has to fix his work truck which has been dead at his dad's house for two weeks now. I said ok. I was upset but tried to keep it cool. Then he ended the convo with "Hopefully see you tomorrow". I told myself if i didnt hear anything from him before 3pm Sunday, the date is cancelled. And I didn't. I don't plan on texting him first because I think it is his job to let me knjow what is going on and to reschedule if he still wants to see me again.

I'm just wondering what has changed? We seem to hit it off very well, the chemistry is definitely there, we both had so much fun on both dates and we kissed on second date. Any insight would help.Thanks!

he's a taurus, moon in libra, venus in gemini...i know, sounds like trouble.

Tinder is for hooking up right?

i would say it is what you make of it. I have met a lot of guys who are looking for more than that. They are nice but i just didn't see the chemistry with them.

not that i dont initiate contact because i want to play games. Just that he always texts me first before I even get to it so I don't think twice about picking up the phone and text him first. I know i really shouldn't be upset because I only met him twice, and even if he's not interested in seeing me anymore, such if life, this thing happens all the time. But really I haven't been interested in anyone in a long time so when I do find someone that clicks with me this much I get a bit too excited.

So i guess my question is should I text him and ask him about his truck? Or should i just leave it strictly up to him to contact me?

I would text him, then depending on what(if) he responds, you can go from there.

so he ended up texting me at 6pm today telling me how he was dealing with his truck. Anyhow so after a couple texts he ended up asking me what I'm doing tomorrow. I don't like how he thinks he can have me at his beck and call, so i told him I was busy, and asked if whats up. He then texted me saying "I'm probably gonna be in the city" (I live in the city, and I guess he suggests we should meet). But my point is I want him to realize that he should properly schedule dates with me. Am i doing it the right way?

I think you need to chill. He told you he had to work on his truck but was hoping he could do both. He was busy working on his truck. Then he contacted you and told you why he couldn't get with you and wanted to make plans. Nothing hashort changed. He likes you.

*nothing has changed*

Give him a break.

Thanks for the advice. But how do i let him know he should ask me out in advance? Not like, what are you doing tomorrow type of thing?

Posted by TokerX

Posted by evergreen89
We met on Tinder. Went on 2 amazing dates with him, he's been texting me everyday since, and he's the one to always initiate contact (I think i initiated only twice for the two weeks we've been talking). Last time I saw him was Tuesday, then Thursday he asked me to hang out again Friday but because I had plans, I suggested Sunday. He agreed. Saturday night when we were texting back and forth, he said he maybe had to take a raincheck cuz he has to fix his work truck which has been dead at his dad's house for two weeks now. I said ok. I was upset but tried to keep it cool. Then he ended the convo with "Hopefully see you tomorrow". I told myself if i didnt hear anything from him before 3pm Sunday, the date is cancelled. And I didn't. I don't plan on texting him first because I think it is his job to let me knjow what is going on and to reschedule if he still wants to see me again.

I'm just wondering what has changed? We seem to hit it off very well, the chemistry is definitely there, we both had so much fun on both dates and we kissed on second date. Any insight would help.Thanks!

"We met on Tinder"... Well yeah...

click to expand

That is what I was thinking as well.

And your surprised you didn't get past date #3?

Posted by evergreen89
Thanks for the advice. But how do i let him know he should ask me out in advance? Not like, what are you doing tomorrow type of thing?

He asked you out the day before each time....it's not like it's a two hour notice..

If that's not good enough for you, you may just have to flat out tell him "Dude, I need a week's notice!!!"

And, for the record, he didn't cancel the 3rd date, be postponed it. He rescheduled as soon as he could.

He sounds like a decent guy, don't F it up because you want to nitpick.

Posted by truecap
And, for the record, he didn't cancel the 3rd date, be postponed it. He rescheduled as soon as he could.

He sounds like a decent guy, don't F it up because you want to nitpick.

right on! You always give such good advice. So thank you!

Posted by KsamCancer
I don't plan on texting him first because I think it is his job to let me knjow what is going on and to reschedule if he still wants to see me again

This is the kind of mentality that keeps you single for the rest of your life

Not necessarily. If I suggested a day for the date and he agreed but in the end couldn't make it, he should be the one reaching out and reschedule, which in this case I'm glad he did. I don't tolerate flakiness, and I'm sure as hell not a freakin doormat so that guys can walk all over. I'd rather be single than settle for less.

Posted by evergreen89

..... after a couple texts he ended up asking me what I'm doing tomorrow. I don't like how he thinks he can have me at his beck and call, so i told him I was busy ...

You're playing games with him .... my hope is that he realizes it after you're completely emotionally invested and drops your ass like a bad habit.

You will have deserved to be hurt like that.

If you believe you deserve better .... then grow some integrity, so that you will want to treat him right.

I just realized you're a Pisces.


So, nevermind what I said because we all know that a Pisces is never emotionally invested ... so therefore their only recourse is to react sensitively to everyone with dramatic reactions.

He'll soon realize how worthless a person like that is, and move along to find a person who is capable of connecting to him.


But, still ..... you are playing an attention game with him, and will deserve all the grief you get.

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by evergreen89

..... after a couple texts he ended up asking me what I'm doing tomorrow. I don't like how he thinks he can have me at his beck and call, so i told him I was busy ...

You're playing games with him .... my hope is that he realizes it after you're completely emotionally invested and drops your ass like a bad habit.

You will have deserved to be hurt like that.

If you believe you deserve better .... then grow some integrity, so that you will want to treat him right.

click to expand

no one deserves to be hurt. You're just down right mean.

Posted by P-Angel


I just realized you're a Pisces.


So, never mind what I said because we all know that a Pisces is never emotionally invested ... so therefore their only recourse is to react sensitively to everyone with dramatic reactions.

He'll soon realize how worthless a person like that is, and move along to find a person who is capable of connecting to him.


But, still ..... you are playing an attention game with him, and will deserve all the grief you get.

P I'm confused, are you saying that Pisces NEVER get emotionally invested? So you're not emotionally invested in your marriage? Or are you saying that in early stages of relationships they don't get emotionally invested.

To the OP chill, so what if he postponed or cancelled the date. It happens!! It's ok to be disappointed bc you were looking forward to it but let it go. I can't get down with this dating scene, I prefer to just be friends with someone and let things progress vs this stress. LOL

Posted by evergreen89

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by evergreen89

..... after a couple texts he ended up asking me what I'm doing tomorrow. I don't like how he thinks he can have me at his beck and call, so i told him I was busy ...

You're playing games with him .... my hope is that he realizes it after you're completely emotionally invested and drops your ass like a bad habit.

You will have deserved to be hurt like that.

If you believe you deserve better .... then grow some integrity, so that you will want to treat him right.

no one deserves to be hurt. You're just down right mean.

click to expand

Spoken like a true entitled Princess, who believes her bad actions should have no negative consequences.

What the hell is Tinder?

Posted by LetltB
What the hell is Tinder?

It's a dating app.. It's like shopping for a man or woman.. It's weird, swipe right or left. I hate how dating is now..

kquote>Posted by WateryGem

Posted by P-Angel


I just realized you're a Pisces.


So, never mind what I said because we all know that a Pisces is never emotionally invested ... so therefore their only recourse is to react sensitively to everyone with dramatic reactions.

He'll soon realize how worthless a person like that is, and move along to find a person who is capable of connecting to him.


But, still ..... you are playing an attention game with him, and will deserve all the grief you get.

P I'm confused, are you saying that Pisces NEVER get emotionally invested? So you're not emotionally invested in your marriage? Or are you saying that in early stages of relationships they don't get emotionally invested.

click to expand

It's an ordinary day when a person comes to the resident Fish to complain about how their Pisces just up and swims away, without any regard to feelings.

At what point are people going to be real?

If smells like shit, then it's shit ... not a rose.

No, a Pisces is never fully invested. Maybe it would have been more accurate to state "fully" ... but, to say "never" when it's been 3 dates is accurate enough for any sign.

Over time, all people invest in their relationships, even if it's bad right? So, I will have to backtract and omit the "never" to say "fully"

A Pisces person isn't plugged in to others most of the time, our feelings are very broad and encompasses a far reach.

Being invested in a person emotionally happens because the person is included in the whole. So, though the investment is there, it's not personally specific enough to be considered an investment by the standards of the other 11 signs.

Just like in this case. She can tell you about a relation that is developing beautifully ... but, she can't see it herself, because she's not really there wholelly.

wholelly
wholely
wholley


what the hell? perhaps this isn't a word

Posted by evergreen89
he's a taurus, moon in libra, venus in gemini...i know, sounds like trouble.

Those placements and then being on Tinder doesn't surprise me at all. I know a guy with those exact same placements. He's so fickle in love that I wouldn't even consider him for a fling.

Posted by evergreen89
Thanks for the advice. But how do i let him know he should ask me out in advance? Not like, what are you doing tomorrow type of thing?

Sounds really annoying. He left you for a minute and you running here crying but when he calls you for a date you are trying to play hard to get?
And if he is not going to call you anymore you are going to make another hysterical post 'why he is not calling'?
I think you need to get over yourself. And start doing what you really feeling - not what you doing right now. Are you over 18?

Posted by evergreen89
We met on Tinder. Went on 2 amazing dates with him, he's been texting me everyday since, and he's the one to always initiate contact (I think i initiated only twice for the two weeks we've been talking). Last time I saw him was Tuesday, then Thursday he asked me to hang out again Friday but because I had plans, I suggested Sunday. He agreed. Saturday night when we were texting back and forth, he said he maybe had to take a raincheck cuz he has to fix his work truck which has been dead at his dad's house for two weeks now. I said ok. I was upset but tried to keep it cool. Then he ended the convo with "Hopefully see you tomorrow". I told myself if i didnt hear anything from him before 3pm Sunday, the date is cancelled. And I didn't. I don't plan on texting him first because I think it is his job to let me knjow what is going on and to reschedule if he still wants to see me again.

I'm just wondering what has changed? We seem to hit it off very well, the chemistry is definitely there, we both had so much fun on both dates and we kissed on second date. Any insight would help.Thanks!

You sound high maintenance. What changed 😕? Sounds like that annoying thing called "life" ruined your romantic plans. The man told you in advance he may have to fix his truck. It's not like he just disappeared or blew you off. Unless you feel you're more important than his ability to do his job because his truck doesn't work, it's pretty self explanatory what changed. Smh.

As well, while I would agree that it would have been the courteous thing to do to call, he probably felt he already gave you the heads up as to why he might not be able to follow through. He made no promises, even said he "hopefully see you tomorrow" indicating the plans were not definite. When you talk, you can gently address it if you feel the need to. Oh yes, I forgot you're waiting for him to call you before you can have that talk because that's his job. Good luck with that.

Posted by evergreen89
So i guess my question is should I text him and ask him about his truck? Or should i just leave it strictly up to him to contact me?

The mere fact that you have to ask this question...

So you're basically asking if it should show interest in a man you've just stated you're interested in? Yet, you claim you don't want to be chased?

So a friend of mine told me this, and I quote "An interested guy won't miss the opportunity to see you to do a job that he has been postponing anyways. How urgent can it be if it had not been done in the previous 2 weeks? ". I think she's right.

You're just a high maintenance hoe, aren't you?

honestly what the fuck is wrong with this forum where everybody keeps calling people all kinds of name in the book? So WHAT if i have high standards? So what if i dont and wont be a doormat and let him have me eat out of his palm. I stand my ground here and there is no need to call someone a hoe or any other name. If you cant be respectful, I don't welcome you. Get the eff out.

Not surprising, I have found guys I meet off of dating websites to be flakes.
Count yourself lucky and get out and meet guys the organic way.

Posted by evergreen89
honestly what the fuck is wrong with this forum where everybody keeps calling people all kinds of name in the book? So WHAT if i have high standards? So what if i dont and wont be a doormat and let him have me eat out of his palm. I stand my ground here and there is no need to call someone a hoe or any other name. If you cant be respectful, I don't welcome you. Get the eff out.

Sweetheart, there's having standards, and then there's being a high maintenance cunt.

You are the latter. This is just one small instance that you're making into some big deal because this guy isn't licking your feet 24/7.

Get. The fuck. Over. Yourself. Your vagina is not made of gold.

I'm all for girls having standards and not tolerating garbage from guys, but you're just looking to start shit here and YOU'RE in the wrong, not him. If he had not followed up in trying to make it up to you, then yeah, you have a case. But you don't. Dude was attempting to make up for flaking on you and your cunty cuntbag ass is all "OH I SHALL FUCK WITH HIM AND SEE IF I SHOULD CONTACT HIM OR NOT."

Your type is why the rest of us have to deal with cranky dudes who think all women are emotional manipulators and gold diggers.

Now shoo. ...And leave this poor guy alone. Apparently he deserves better, considering he found you on tinder of all places. lol, tinder. You say you have standards, yet you're dating on tinder? Bitch please.

Posted by rockyroadicecream

Posted by evergreen89
honestly what the fuck is wrong with this forum where everybody keeps calling people all kinds of name in the book? So WHAT if i have high standards? So what if i dont and wont be a doormat and let him have me eat out of his palm. I stand my ground here and there is no need to call someone a hoe or any other name. If you cant be respectful, I don't welcome you. Get the eff out.

Sweetheart, there's having standards, and then there's being a high maintenance cunt.

You are the latter. This is just one small instance that you're making into some big deal because this guy isn't licking your feet 24/7.

Get. The fuck. Over. Yourself. Your vagina is not made of gold.

I'm all for girls having standards and not tolerating garbage from guys, but you're just looking to start shit here and YOU'RE in the wrong, not him. If he had not followed up in trying to make it up to you, then yeah, you have a case. But you don't. Dude was attempting to make up for flaking on you and your cunty cuntbag ass is all "OH I SHALL FUCK WITH HIM AND SEE IF I SHOULD CONTACT HIM OR NOT."

Your type is why the rest of us have to deal with cranky dudes who think all women are emotional manipulators and gold diggers.

Now shoo. ...And leave this poor guy alone. Apparently he deserves better, considering he found you on tinder of all places. lol, tinder. You say you have standards, yet you're dating on tinder? Bitch please.

click to expand

HAHAHAHAH!!! HAHAHAHAH!!!

A person who plays games, such as yourself ... has low standards.

You can deny it al you want, but, everyone knows the fool is you .... so, you're not tricking anyone in here ... so, your comebacks to real talk only reiterates what everyone is thinking and saying.

Why don't you try to listen ... maybe you might hear something that is useful to you.


Or, you can continue to walk around with your head stuck up your ass .....

Posted by evergreen89

If you cant be respectful .....

You are being mirrored by everyone around you, all the time. If you are being disrespected, then it's because you are being disrespectful.

An immature Pisces isn't expected to actually get that. Hopefully, you will grow up soon, so that you will be able to get it, and adjust yourself.

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by evergreen89

If you cant be respectful .....

You are being mirrored by everyone around you, all the time. If you are being disrespected, then it's because you are being disrespectful.

An immature Pisces isn't expected to actually get that. Hopefully, you will grow up soon, so that you will be able to get it, and adjust yourself.

click to expand

I believe this to an extent, however this is simply not true in most cases. If this were true P-Angel, then you surely would just be around bitches and assholes 24/7 and if so, then no wonder...sheesh. Anyway I can see both sides to this and how something seeming soo small can be developed into something way out of proportion. The dating world has changed and has left more questions, doubts and insecurities then ever before. This effects women the most because we are the ones who are perceived to desire commitment, we have something to lose. Yes, the man might lose his mind, however that can be restored with another relationship. OP I think you should be cautious, and not take things too far with the guy until you know him better/his intentions, however remain open to his efforts and "go with the flow". The great thing about guys is they quickly show their "hand" and so just pay attention to his actions, they will speak the truth.

I know honey, you should laugh at yourself. I know many of us already are. 🙂

I think after all there ARE women who can't take men being nice and not guilty.
This is where those bitches wives coming from who treating their husbands like
harpies. Just in case. So he wouldn't think he is any good. 😢

Posted by evergreen89

Posted by rockyroadicecream

Posted by evergreen89
honestly what the fuck is wrong with this forum where everybody keeps calling people all kinds of name in the book? So WHAT if i have high standards? So what if i dont and wont be a doormat and let him have me eat out of his palm. I stand my ground here and there is no need to call someone a hoe or any other name. If you cant be respectful, I don't welcome you. Get the eff out.

Sweetheart, there's having standards, and then there's being a high maintenance cunt.

You are the latter. This is just one small instance that you're making into some big deal because this guy isn't licking your feet 24/7.

Get. The fuck. Over. Yourself. Your vagina is not made of gold.

I'm all for girls having standards and not tolerating garbage from guys, but you're just looking to start shit here and YOU'RE in the wrong, not him. If he had not followed up in trying to make it up to you, then yeah, you have a case. But you don't. Dude was attempting to make up for flaking on you and your cunty cuntbag ass is all "OH I SHALL FUCK WITH HIM AND SEE IF I SHOULD CONTACT HIM OR NOT."

Your type is why the rest of us have to deal with cranky dudes who think all women are emotional manipulators and gold diggers.

Now shoo. ...And leave this poor guy alone. Apparently he deserves better, considering he found you on tinder of all places. lol, tinder. You say you have standards, yet you're dating on tinder? Bitch please.

HAHAHAHAH!!! HAHAHAHAH!!!

click to expand

Do you mind to explain what was that laugh all about?
I can think of tons of reasons like
1.you finally realized that Tinder is a place for hook ups not 'ever after'
2.'your cunty cuntbag ass' could be another reason for HHAHAHA
3.'Your vagina is not made of gold' - I am sure it is a shocker not call for HAHAHA
but maybe you laughing when you are shocked?
4.'Get. The fuck. Over. Yourself. Your vagina is not made of gold' - sorry, this is me laughing LOLOLOL
5.anyone free to add something...

Posted by rockyroadicecream
I know honey, you should laugh at yourself. I know many of us already are. 🙂

Oh but honey I'm LMAO at YOUUUU!!!

Posted by Moonbutter

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by evergreen89

If you cant be respectful .....

You are being mirrored by everyone around you, all the time. If you are being disrespected, then it's because you are being disrespectful.

An immature Pisces isn't expected to actually get that. Hopefully, you will grow up soon, so that you will be able to get it, and adjust yourself.

I believe this to an extent, however this is simply not true in most cases. If this were true P-Angel, then you surely would just be around bitches and assholes 24/7 and if so, then no wonder...sheesh. Anyway I can see both sides to this and how something seeming soo small can be developed into something way out of proportion. The dating world has changed and has left more questions, doubts and insecurities then ever before. This effects women the most because we are the ones who are perceived to desire commitment, we have something to lose. Yes, the man might lose his mind, however that can be restored with another relationship. OP I think you should be cautious, and not take things too far with the guy until you know him better/his intentions, however remain open to his efforts and "go with the flow". The great thing about guys is they quickly show their "hand" and so just pay attention to his actions, they will speak the truth.

click to expand

See, this is what I call being respectful, and helpful. Thank you for your advice Moonbutter. I do agree with you that I need to be cautious and that's what I'm doing. After all, no need to stress over this guy, I barely even know him.

Posted by evergreen89

Posted by Moonbutter

Posted by P-Angel

Posted by evergreen89

If you cant be respectful .....

You are being mirrored by everyone around you, all the time. If you are being disrespected, then it's because you are being disrespectful.

An immature Pisces isn't expected to actually get that. Hopefully, you will grow up soon, so that you will be able to get it, and adjust yourself.

I believe this to an extent, however this is simply not true in most cases. If this were true P-Angel, then you surely would just be around bitches and assholes 24/7 and if so, then no wonder...sheesh. Anyway I can see both sides to this and how something seeming soo small can be developed into something way out of proportion. The dating world has changed and has left more questions, doubts and insecurities then ever before. This effects women the most because we are the ones who are perceived to desire commitment, we have something to lose. Yes, the man might lose his mind, however that can be restored with another relationship. OP I think you should be cautious, and not take things too far with the guy until you know him better/his intentions, however remain open to his efforts and "go with the flow". The great thing about guys is they quickly show their "hand" and so just pay attention to his actions, they will speak the truth.

See, this is what I call being respectful, and helpful. Thank you for your advice Moonbutter. I do agree with you that I need to be cautious and that's what I'm doing. After all, no need to stress over this guy, I barely even know him.

click to expand

You are very welcome evergreen89. As I have taken a hiatus from the dating world myself due to too many disappointments. I am going with faith and belief in the right time, in the meantime feel free to msg me anytime 🙂

Posted by LetltB
What the hell is Tinder?

Did my homework:

According to Vanity Fair Tinder is nothing more than a whore fest for young men. I heard the word "tinder" in another forum and was like wtf is that..?

I Got my answer, it's nothing more than a whore fest:

From Vanity Fair on Tinder:

"You could talk to two or three girls at a bar and pick the best one, or you can swipe a couple hundred people a day—the sample size is so much larger. It’s setting up two or three Tinder dates a week and, chances are, sleeping with all of them, so you could rack up 100 girls you’ve slept with in a year.”He says that he himself has slept with five different women he met on Tinder—“Tinderellas,” the guys call them—in the last eight days."
"Alex, his friends agree, is a Tinder King, a young man of such deft “text game”—“That’s the ability to actually convince someone to do something over text,” Marty explains—that he is able to entice young women into his bed on the basis of a few text exchanges, while letting them know up front he is not interested in having a relationship."

"But Marty, who prefers Hinge to Tinder (“Hinge is my thing”), is no slouch at “racking up girls.” He says he’s slept with 30 to 40 women in the last year: “I sort of play that I could be a boyfriend kind of guy,” in order to win them over, “but then they start wanting me tocare more … and I just don’t.”"

^^^ Yeah but the worst thing is who is raising these guys to behave in this way? I'm sure their mothers would be proud. I have a nearly ten year old brother, I'm 35, and me along with my sister who is 38 are teaching him how to treat girls. I'd be appalled if he grows up to behave this way. Same can be applied to girls of course.

This is true. ^^^

My guy friend was on pof, he was 40 ish at the time. Had been in a 15 year relationship previously but had taken a few years out after the break up. He's no Casanova but his experience was that practically every woman he went out with on a first date was offering it to him on a plate. Even the ones he thought wouldn't. This was women of a mix of ages. He was pretty shocked initially then started taking a few up on their offers only to find these women got incredibly attached as they hadn't thought through their 'fuck on a first date' offer.

I don't think this modern serial whore is the fault of tinder ... tinder is just there to service this kind of person.

Single parenting is what caused this.

The majority of single mothers are insecure desperate cling-ons to any guy who happens to glance in her direction ... and she is the one who is teaching the child. Beit, son or daughter, doesn't matter - same message being taught.

Posted by thinktoomuch
I say we just all give up on the whole dating and love experience. What do you say guys? (ofcours not the ones who are already in a great relationship) For me it seems impossible these days. So many exspectations, so many times you have to say no to a guy, because he is all about the pussy (in a bad way), after he has been nice enough for a little while, and so on...

It´s like you really really really have to lower your standards, but when you do that, what do you get? The shitty guys. So you keep your standards. - And meet noone. Seriously! It´s like the choice is between this: lower your standards and feel bad about yourself, or keep your standards and still feel a little bad about yourself, since noone wants to be with you.
Personally, I´m trying to get over that whole idea of love. I´m just gonna dance instead!!

Why give up on dating and love? Why would anyone lower their standards of self respect to find love? There's guys out there who look down on women who behave this way. They are called GENTLEMEN. They've had their share of women who serve themselves up spread eagle on a platter.

Might not seem like it, but then women have to ask, where are they going and what are they doing to find that gentleman? From what I see on dxp, they are going about it all wrong and is why they end up alone and crying victim. The good guys are out there and they are watching from a distance.

Evergreen, I can understand your confusion and don't let everyone beat you up on here. Ive seen a lot of guys do mean things to women like plan dates, then "bail" last minute only as an excuse so they can spend time with another chic and have you, plan b pinning away (this actually happened to me and Ive seen my brother do this to women he wasn't so sure about or he wanted to hurt), so I can understand your concern. However he did call you to make things right. I would give him another chance with one eye open and really trust your intuition, your gut on this guy.