Is this normal - Virgo man and Scorpio woman?

I'm a Scorpio who is dating a Virgo and have been for about a year.

Mentally and physically we are well suited to each other. We seem to have a good connection, help each other to relax in the presence of one another and have built somewhat of a very good friendship.

He is

Virgo sun

Aries moon

Capricorn rising

I am

Scorpio sun

Leo moon

Aquarius rising

But the main thing I'm wanting to discuss is our sun signs simply because this is where I think the differences lie from what I can tell.



As a Scorpio I am very emotionally intense and I do tend to stress a lot, going from one extreme to another. I can be somewhat jealous and possessive but extremely loyal.

He is more practical, tries to base all his decisions on logic. He seems to be loyal also but has an ego that needs to be satisfied and so he still continues to talk flirt with other women but only through social media.

We are both young and so some maturing could be done on both parts, emotionally for me and I guess his lack of ability to commit may come with age and time. But I feel hurt, uncertainty. His lack of ability to fully commit and his lack of expressed emotional depth and connection can deeply affect me.

He is work-focused, which I admire. But he has said time and time again that he may not be able to make me a priority. Recently he admitted to being fully committed to me. We discuss our futures together and when we are together there is no issue. But apart, I'm torn. He is distant, cold and I feel as though I'm having to adapt to his ways and terms which as a Scorpio infuriates me for I do like to feel a sense of control. He hates pushiness and for example I was hoping to see him last weekend because during the week he'd mentioned the idea of going for a drive somewhere nice but because I was demanding about wanting an answer as to whether we were catching up, he ended up saying he'd prefer to give it a miss as he needs alone time and doesn't want to have to stress about seeing me at a certain time after a stressful week. It turned out he was with a friend the entire weekend, little things like this cause me to feel a deep betrayal.

I'm constantly on edge, I've had a rough past with being cheated on and so I am always suspicious. I feel him pulling away from me right now but in saying that when work is stressful, he can naturally be quite distant. I don't want my pushiness to make him over-analyse the situation and walk away but in saying that I want someone who wants me fully. Together he makes me very happy, his little gestures make me feel important and appreciated but apart I just don't feel like a priority.

I apologise for the length of this message and would appreciate open-mindedness in any comments. I feel that I am letting much of these little situations upset me too deeply but others can be discussed rationally with him once I've calmed down. I want to come to a logical answer. My intuition tells me patience and communication are the answers and that if those things don't work I need to walk away. Whenever I've communicated an issue in the past, he's ALWAYS made an effort to change UNLESS he completely disagreed or thought I was overthinking, in which case he gave me reassurance. But I struggle to communicate my feelings with them being so intense and I'm just unsure on how to do so.

Might I add his flirting has definitely toned down drastically since our more recent discussions of commitment. He does reject women saying he is dating someone already but I fear his social media suspicious behaviour still continues on some level.

He's really distant right now, I'm vulnerable because of some life stressors affecting me and became more clingy than usual - I'm usually more independent and distant - and so he's backed off a little for the moment. Usually when he's ready he will reach out to me and ask to see me as he's a very independent guy but I don't want to feel like I'm losing power over myself and the relationship.

Virgo Sun, Cancer Rising (male)

had two LTR with Scorpio women covering a 15 year period. both got pretty heated during conflict. i didn't learn my lesson and met another Scorpio woman. outwardly, I like them and find them exciting.

i can't judge both women the same. they did have different personalities and interest, but the end result was the same. lots of agitation in the relationship. the polarity between us was not all its cracked up to be. opposites do attract, but doesn't mean they should stay together.

even now after years of breaking up with them both we're still cordial and i admire their strengths. for every good thought i have about Scorpio women I also am reminded of something spiteful they did or said. same with even guy friends that are Scorpio's too.

there's a slickness, and a general "wrong" way they go about doing things but they're totally oblivious to it. after some time you get tired of ignoring their faults and let them be in their own space of being where they can be firm in the stance that their way and opinions are correct. i want look at them and scream "I'm a Virgo, look at me, look at my life. Can't you see how beauty and all things great come to me? Why would you have ever give me of all people a hard time?"

this is a Virgo Sun (Mercury in Virgo 3rd House) guy; so take my opinion with a grain of salt...

What are your Venus, Mars and Merc signs?

These are important too. He may have Virgo Venus and you may have Scorp Venus. This can be challenging.

My ex is Virgo Sun/Aries moon but heavy Virgo placements. We didn't gel so well in lots of areas.

I also think the Virgo guy above makes good points regarding his experiences with how he saw the Scorps. On the flip side, all that logic coupled with a lack of emotional depth/warmth might can prompt Scorp to be more dramatic/emotional to elicit a response from Virgo... which will not arrive in the fashion the Scorp wants.

First off

I love this pairing I really do...

Next

Try not to blame him for mistake that other men have made (which is easier said than done I know 😢.. )

Last

If he has given no reason not to trust him

..trust him

🙂 I hope this helps

Posted by bittercupcake
Sometimes j feel like Scorpios are better suited for ... a Cancer or Capricorn... as they seem to be the only ones patient enough to tolerate Scorpios dramatic tendencies

I agree with this. My ex-Scorpio gf is involved with a Pisces guy and she feels good about it. She's indirectly talking long-term. I think pairings in the same element give a good flow to the relationship. When I first met my Taurus GF, there was something there the first time we later eyes on each other. It felt so familiar.

Venus-Mars feel key to me also. My last ex-Scorpio had her Venus/Mars all in Scorpio too. We had a trine her Mars to my Venus but that's opposite male/female trait. She felt like a more dominate force with her aggression and temper tantrums.

Comparing with my current SO that feels blissful of the same element (Taurus Sun). We also have a Venus-Mars double whammy. Her Venus, my Mars conjunction in Cancer and my Venus to her Mars in Gemini. We both agree we were destined to be together. Even at times we both wanted to end things it never felt like it was possible. Her and I are starting to have the marriage conversation.

My point in this post is that sometimes similarities that flow should be considered. Challenge or oppositions are exciting and even exhilarating; but damaging in the long-term.