NEEEDDDDDD ADVICE on how to get my cancer man back

Ok so i am a virgo woman and my husband is a cancer man. we are seperated for 2 weeks today. the night we split he told me that i am bossy, try to wear the pants in the family, that i dont appreciate anything he does, etc. I know im guilty of being bossy but i honestly dont really know i am doing it and the moment i realise it i appologise for it. i guess me being bossy makes him think i try to make all the decisions. i do appreciate everything he does but i know i didnt show it or tell him enough. now heres the kicker he never had these problems with me or at least never voiced them to me until we had to move in with his parents due to him losing his job. his parents well his step dad is a cheater and very selfish person (AQUARIUS) sorry!!! he intimidates, talks bad to him, and treats him as if he is his maid/servant. i notice this and voice my opinion. im guessing because its his dad he gets offended. he defends him but eventually gets tired of him and hates the way he is. i moved out 2 weeks ago and we have been kinda talking at 1st it was more arguing and me trying to say im sorry and that ill show i appreciate him more cause i love him to death and our good times werent just good they were GREAT! he has said hateful mean things and so have i. we have a mutual friend who has heard both our sides and my husband says he wants to work things out but then again he doesnt. he cant talk to me infront of his parents because they will BIT*H and kick him out and stuff. a few days ago i asked if we could talk that nigth and he got mad and said NO, that i can only talk to him if it pertains to our 3 month old son and if its anything else he wont answer. i asked today if we could talk tonight cause i miss him and he just says IDK. his family IS NUTS and calling them disfunctional is an understatement!! i dont knwo what to do and i just wanna know if i should hold on and have hope that he will see that i am sorry or if i should just let him go!?!?!!? HELP!!!!?!?!?

Give him space and time. He'll come around when he calms down. Especially if you are married with a kid. Cancers don't take those things lightly. Don't fucking nag him. Virgos are notorious for it (aka your bossiness). It will just make him clam up even more. Just go about your business, take care of your kid, and only contact him if it pertains to your child and ONLY discuss the baby. Don't use that time to re-hash anything pertaining to the relationship. Eventually he'll hit sulk mode and be ready to talk.

Virgos can easily make a cancer feel worthless. All the bossiness from you makes him feel like he can't do anything right. You have to practice backing off, verbalizing/showing your appreciation, and picking your battles if you want it to work. Unless he really is a loser, then by all means, do what you gotta do.

I'm not trying to be offensive, might come off that way irregardless. Why do you keep apologizing to him? Because you don't bend over backwards and powder his bottom round the clock that makes you feel as though you need to cow-tow to him?
That aside see if you can find a good counselor or mediator. I'd not advise to toss in the towel unless options were explored. I know things are raw and painful right now. You feel like a cornered rat with what ifs, whys and all sorts. Uncertainty about where things will wind up. For you and for your son. This is where you need to sit down and think about what you want out of life. If it is him, pursue that and try your damnedest to make a go of it. If it shakes out the other way then you can honestly say you've done your level best.
Honestly it sounds like his self-worth is in the shit, as a man and provider. It's probably eating him alive knowing he's not providing this and had to move all of you back to a place he thought he was shed of. ( Type A pinhead and enabling mother, yes? He isn't getting away with his b.s. on his own at any rate. ) On the converse his perception of your well meant 'handling' of things is a sticking point.
I do wish you the best and hope that you can work things out..but also this...if you cannot you will be alright. I promise.

I don't know a lot of Cancer men, but I know a lot of men. I agree that it sounds like he's got nothing at all going for him in the "feeling like a man department", and his self-worth is in the toilet. He lost his job (means of being a provider), had to move in with his folks (depending on someone else), and has to submit to another man's abuse. On top of that, you're giving unsolicited advice, which amounts to telling him what to do (like he's a child and you don't trust him) in his eyes. Maybe he can't find a job today, or get out of his parents' house today, or get out from under his dad's thumb today, but he can certainly get rid of YOU today...and so he does. Make sure not be one of the problems that he needs to get rid of. Give space, and when he's ready to talk show appreciation, admiration, respect, and trust. Give him the feeling that at least he's a man when he's around you, even if he's not feeling it anywhere else yet.

cancer men seem to usually prefer when the wife "wears the pants". that's certainly how my virgo aunt and cancer uncle are, and they've been married at least 30 years now.

i think it's his family. some of it could be his job situation, but i mostly think it's his family. they're making him feel shitty about how he's not the type of man they want him to be. they might not even be trying to make him feel that way. cancers are just so sensitive and moody.

you should probably stop accepting the blame he's pushing off onto you. stop apologizing. stop trying so hard to make things better. put more of the blame on him. he's the one causing shit.

i think the fact that he refuses to talk to you about things means that he knows that's not the real problem. when cancers are dealing with inner conflict, they like to brood alone. there probably isn't anything you can say or do to bring him out of it.

I was with my Cancer bf for 6 years. Its easy, talk to him. Give him space first, then drop hints that you need to talk and invite him to dinner at your place. They LOVE to eat ( well most of them) and make sure its a decadent meal.Don't be stingy with butter or sauce...
Ok, ignore any family issues for now. My ex's family had so many hidden dark secrets that he revealed ( mostly while drunk) to me over the years we were together. They are deep feelers and def SENSITIVE!! Everything irritates or effects them. BUT, like water, they can be heated to a boil, or frozen into ice...keep him at room temperature! Never push for answers or explanations ( they hate that) Only HINT at what you want to know or discuss and let them lead ( wink wink). They need to feel in control a lot. Like it was all their idea to TALK things out. I also find that the moodiness is like a tide in the ocean, you gotta catch it when its not huge and aggressive waves crashing against the shore, but rather a mild roll...
Does that make any sense?

You can't over-talk them either. They need silence to gather their thoughts, they can get very annoied when its sensory overload and they will go silent quickly. I used to play to my ex's guilt a lot. He knew when he was being an a**hole so I'd play the wounded one and go silent or be brief( but not bitchy) when answering him...he'd be eating out of the palm of my hand soon after.

This is the best advice I can give for now...I'd also say SEX is always a great motivator for ANY man to come out of his shell ( crabby men that is). Don't be pushy when you seduce, just be loving and caring and DONT talk, you will see things slowly lean your way and soon you both will be back together.