Surprisingly Unsurprising

I was out with my cancer man for a little work and a little pleasure last night. There was a free music show at a venue we like so we thought it would be good to go and try to book some acts for our venue.

anyway, we stopped in for a beer at a local pub just two doors down because we showed up a half hour early. i used to frequent this pub in my early to mid-20's so the lead bartender and his regular crowd still know me. we walk in, sit down, and one of the regulars comes up to greet me. this guy gives me a hug and notices my bf sitting across from me and asks if my bf is my husband. my bf immediately pipes up and says,"No no no, i'm not. We're not married." it was funny because him shooting the question down so quickly actually made me feel kinda sad. i never even thought of myself getting married so i was a little surprised that i felt something at all. before i could start to feel the weight of that sadness, he looks me in the eye and says,"Well, we're not married yet, anyway. Not yet."

while that initial sad-like feeling instantly vanished, his follow-up statement didn't shock me at all at the time. it should have and it didn't. i already feel like we're a married couple in most ways. now that i have had time to mull it over in my head i am starting to feel the shock of surprise. i mean, there's no getting around it, right? him looking me directly in the eye and deliberately saying what he said... with such purpose! i'm having a hard time convincing myself that i'm reading too much into it. he's actually divorced and he's told me in the past that he wasn't sure if he would ever get (legally) married again although he was non-committal to a firm answer.

You think...? ^o^

You're reading too much into it. He saw your reaction to what he said so he covered since he didn't want you to feel bad. Who knows what the future will hold? As long as you both are open to it & most importantly, enjoy your time together.

ugh. yeah. cancers will lay on so much mushy bullshit. bullshit being the key word.