tresdynamiques
@tresdynamiques
8 YearsCancer
Comments: 0 · Posts: 32 · Topics: 7
TAURUS: Honestly I just need some support and guidance.
you might try posting this in the taurus board for a range of (some helpful/not so helpful) views
not a whole lot of info but anyway - it sounds like you are doing all you can to support him - I'm not sure what else you could possibly do - I mean you know him best to judge the situation - I wonder why he is so broke if he's working - how does he not have a vehicle if he's working and also the living arrangements so far from his work is strange - do you think it could be worse then he's saying ?
if he is bi-polar then he should be on meds which stabilize as much as possible - my ex used to go off meds and then everything would get absolutely crazy insane
if he is bi-polar then he should be on meds which stabilize as much as possible - my ex used to go off meds and then everything would get absolutely crazy insane
He is not on medication, he's trying to get veteran's benefits from his service in the military. He is living with a couple that he's friends with, and I've told him that all he has to do is say the word and I'll come see him, but... nothing :-/ He barely even speaks to me or anyone else, and when he does call or text me, he's either breaking down, reminding me that he loves me, or talks about something completely random.
Posted by CrimsonGirl
@tresdynamiques
Very sorry to hear this. Sounds like a very rough situation for the both of you. A few questions: Is he on any sort of medication for his disorder? Does he have any place to live or is he homeless? Are you able to go see him at all?
My boyfriend is also a Taurus and has struggled with depression and other mental disorders on and off since he was a child. His mom ended up basically disowning him when he was 17 and he was homeless for a little bit actually until he moved in with his dad. When there is a lack of stability it will effect any human negatively, but especially a Taurus because so much of their self worth is built on material wealth, calmness and general stability. They can really sink into a depression when these things aren't in order.
I have definitely analyzed it to a point of near insanity... he only makes about $ 11 an hour. The cost of his truck was over $ 800 a month in payments, fuel and insurance, and the truck needs a new engine. He bought an old Jeep that he's trying to fix, so some money goes toward parts for it. He sends money to his ex for his son, money to his parents for his phone bill, and pays half the rent at the apartment he's staying at with a couple he knows. He also has thousands in credit card debt, and obviously has to feed himself and such.
He's afraid to leave his job to find a better one because his cousin is the manager, and so he's basically untouchable there. He was living with his cousin for a while and got kicked out because they're both bull-headed and fought all the time, and his cousin was incredibly hard on him for things as small as leaving a dish in the kitchen sink or shoes on the floor. He had nowhere else to go but to these friends of his and his family lives four hours away.
He's afraid to leave his job to find a better one because his cousin is the manager, and so he's basically untouchable there. He was living with his cousin for a while and got kicked out because they're both bull-headed and fought all the time, and his cousin was incredibly hard on him for things as small as leaving a dish in the kitchen sink or shoes on the floor. He had nowhere else to go but to these friends of his and his family lives four hours away.
Posted by tcta
not a whole lot of info but anyway - it sounds like you are doing all you can to support him - I'm not sure what else you could possibly do - I mean you know him best to judge the situation - I wonder why he is so broke if he's working - how does he not have a vehicle if he's working and also the living arrangements so far from his work is strange - do you think it could be worse then he's saying ?
if he is bi-polar then he should be on meds which stabilize as much as possible - my ex used to go off meds and then everything would get absolutely crazy insane
Posted by tresdynamiqueshe's trying but it will take some time - and so he wants to stick with his cousin at the job but his cousin threw him out knowing how hard he's got it right now - wow - well at least he's still working
I have definitely analyzed it to a point of near insanity... he only makes about $ 11 an hour. The cost of his truck was over $ 800 a month in payments, fuel and insurance, and the truck needs a new engine. He bought an old Jeep that he's trying to fix, so some money goes toward parts for it. He sends money to his ex for his son, money to his parents for his phone bill, and pays half the rent at the apartment he's staying at with a couple he knows. He also has thousands in credit card debt, and obviously has to feed himself and such.
He's afraid to leave his job to find a better one because his cousin is the manager, and so he's basically untouchable there. He was living with his cousin for a while and got kicked out because they're both bull-headed and fought all the time, and his cousin was incredibly hard on him for things as small as leaving a dish in the kitchen sink or shoes on the floor. He had nowhere else to go but to these friends of his and his family lives four hours away.Posted by tcta
not a whole lot of info but anyway - it sounds like you are doing all you can to support him - I'm not sure what else you could possibly do - I mean you know him best to judge the situation - I wonder why he is so broke if he's working - how does he not have a vehicle if he's working and also the living arrangements so far from his work is strange - do you think it could be worse then he's saying ?
if he is bi-polar then he should be on meds which stabilize as much as possible - my ex used to go off meds and then everything would get absolutely crazy insane
click to expand
better keep yourself busy - this sounds like it's going to take awhile - I mean he's not going to get straightened out overnight but it does sound like he's working on things to make it better - but then $ 11 doesn't really cut it with large responsibilities like child support and credit card debt, car payments and insurance etc it's really going to be tough
Posted by tresdynamiques
He is not on medication, he's trying to get veteran's benefits from his service in the military. He is living with a couple that he's friends with, and I've told him that all he has to do is say the word and I'll come see him, but... nothing :-/ He barely even speaks to me or anyone else, and when he does call or text me, he's either breaking down, reminding me that he loves me, or talks about something completely random.
oh wow, this poor guy sounds like he's trying hard to hold it all together - that's not easy when you have a mental illness and no medication - that is what is going on - he doesn't want you to know how bad it really is
and there is nothing he can do for you and/or to keep you happy that hurts him as well - he is definitely in a hard predicament - of course he doesn't want to lose you but he probably figures you might not want to hang around forever waiting for him
I wouldn't ask - just go see him - take lunch or dinner or a pizza or something - just sit and talk or just be with him - in the meantime you have to take good care of yourself
Just look at my whiny post history over the past year.
That will be you in six years.
Do I love him? Yes.
Did he depression destroy me? Absolutely
Read my posts and think very carefully about what you are getting into.
That will be you in six years.
Do I love him? Yes.
Did he depression destroy me? Absolutely
Read my posts and think very carefully about what you are getting into.
Posted by tctaI know 😢 With the truck out of commission, at least he's just down to making the payments on it (he was trying to sell it before it broke down), but the money he's spending for the apartment and travel to work is going to put him right back where he started. That's why I wanted him to consider just pushing up the move date and coming to me so we could do it together. I don't know if it's his pride and stubborn nature or if he really just doesn't want to or there's something he's not telling me... he hasn't said "no", but he won't say yes either. This is literally the hardest thing I've ever done because watching him struggle hurts like it's my own.Posted by tresdynamiqueshe's trying but it will take some time - and so he wants to stick with his cousin at the job but his cousin threw him out knowing how hard he's got it right now - wow - well at least he's still working
I have definitely analyzed it to a point of near insanity... he only makes about $ 11 an hour. The cost of his truck was over $ 800 a month in payments, fuel and insurance, and the truck needs a new engine. He bought an old Jeep that he's trying to fix, so some money goes toward parts for it. He sends money to his ex for his son, money to his parents for his phone bill, and pays half the rent at the apartment he's staying at with a couple he knows. He also has thousands in credit card debt, and obviously has to feed himself and such.
He's afraid to leave his job to find a better one because his cousin is the manager, and so he's basically untouchable there. He was living with his cousin for a while and got kicked out because they're both bull-headed and fought all the time, and his cousin was incredibly hard on him for things as small as leaving a dish in the kitchen sink or shoes on the floor. He had nowhere else to go but to these friends of his and his family lives four hours away.Posted by tcta
not a whole lot of info but anyway - it sounds like you are doing all you can to support him - I'm not sure what else you could possibly do - I mean you know him best to judge the situation - I wonder why he is so broke if he's working - how does he not have a vehicle if he's working and also the living arrangements so far from his work is strange - do you think it could be worse then he's saying ?
if he is bi-polar then he should be on meds which stabilize as much as possible - my ex used to go off meds and then everything would get absolutely crazy insane
better keep yourself busy - this sounds like it's going to take awhile - I mean he's not going to get straightened out overnight but it does sound like he's working on things to make it better - but then $ 11 doesn't really cut it with large responsibilities like child support and credit card debt, car payments and insurance etc it's really going to be tough
click to expand
Posted by tctaPosted by tresdynamiques
He is not on medication, he's trying to get veteran's benefits from his service in the military. He is living with a couple that he's friends with, and I've told him that all he has to do is say the word and I'll come see him, but... nothing :-/ He barely even speaks to me or anyone else, and when he does call or text me, he's either breaking down, reminding me that he loves me, or talks about something completely random.I'm so afraid of just showing up and making him angry or inconveniencing him. When I say we're long distance, I mean Ohio to Texas. It's long. And I'll go in a heartbeat, but I don't know if I'm brave enough to just show up unexpected.
oh wow, this poor guy sounds like he's trying hard to hold it all together - that's not easy when you have a mental illness and no medication - that is what is going on - he doesn't want you to know how bad it really is
and there is nothing he can do for you and/or to keep you happy that hurts him as well - he is definitely in a hard predicament - of course he doesn't want to lose you but he probably figures you might not want to hang around forever waiting for him
I wouldn't ask - just go see him - take lunch or dinner or a pizza or something - just sit and talk or just be with him - in the meantime you have to take good care of yourself
click to expand
Posted by tresdynamiquesis his child in the area ? is that a reason he doesn't want to move right now - it could just be the bull male wanting to do it on his own and then come to you when he has something more than nothing to give to the relationship - are there a lot of job opportunities in your area ? it is a big move for a bull but it's not impossible in the right frame of mind - can he sell the truck minus the engine and break even - probably not - I'm sure you've thought of every angle honestly so I don't know what else to offer - it is difficult and I wish you both wellPosted by tctaI know 😢 With the truck out of commission, at least he's just down to making the payments on it (he was trying to sell it before it broke down), but the money he's spending for the apartment and travel to work is going to put him right back where he started. That's why I wanted him to consider just pushing up the move date and coming to me so we could do it together. I don't know if it's his pride and stubborn nature or if he really just doesn't want to or there's something he's not telling me... he hasn't said "no", but he won't say yes either. This is literally the hardest thing I've ever done because watching him struggle hurts like it's my own.Posted by tresdynamiqueshe's trying but it will take some time - and so he wants to stick with his cousin at the job but his cousin threw him out knowing how hard he's got it right now - wow - well at least he's still working
I have definitely analyzed it to a point of near insanity... he only makes about $ 11 an hour. The cost of his truck was over $ 800 a month in payments, fuel and insurance, and the truck needs a new engine. He bought an old Jeep that he's trying to fix, so some money goes toward parts for it. He sends money to his ex for his son, money to his parents for his phone bill, and pays half the rent at the apartment he's staying at with a couple he knows. He also has thousands in credit card debt, and obviously has to feed himself and such.
He's afraid to leave his job to find a better one because his cousin is the manager, and so he's basically untouchable there. He was living with his cousin for a while and got kicked out because they're both bull-headed and fought all the time, and his cousin was incredibly hard on him for things as small as leaving a dish in the kitchen sink or shoes on the floor. He had nowhere else to go but to these friends of his and his family lives four hours away.Posted by tcta
not a whole lot of info but anyway - it sounds like you are doing all you can to support him - I'm not sure what else you could possibly do - I mean you know him best to judge the situation - I wonder why he is so broke if he's working - how does he not have a vehicle if he's working and also the living arrangements so far from his work is strange - do you think it could be worse then he's saying ?
if he is bi-polar then he should be on meds which stabilize as much as possible - my ex used to go off meds and then everything would get absolutely crazy insane
better keep yourself busy - this sounds like it's going to take awhile - I mean he's not going to get straightened out overnight but it does sound like he's working on things to make it better - but then $ 11 doesn't really cut it with large responsibilities like child support and credit card debt, car payments and insurance etc it's really going to be tough
click to expand
he definitely needs to get on medication and then he will also have to be stable enough to potentially work through trying a few medications to see what will work best for him and he should also have counseling - my ex was bi-polar and it wasn't easy at all - he was a Pisces and I ended up being more of a caretaker than anything else
Posted by tresdynamiquesPosted by tctaPosted by tresdynamiqueswell yes, ok, that would not be like a day trip so understandable
He is not on medication, he's trying to get veteran's benefits from his service in the military. He is living with a couple that he's friends with, and I've told him that all he has to do is say the word and I'll come see him, but... nothing :-/ He barely even speaks to me or anyone else, and when he does call or text me, he's either breaking down, reminding me that he loves me, or talks about something completely random.I'm so afraid of just showing up and making him angry or inconveniencing him. When I say we're long distance, I mean Ohio to Texas. It's long. And I'll go in a heartbeat, but I don't know if I'm brave enough to just show up unexpected.
oh wow, this poor guy sounds like he's trying hard to hold it all together - that's not easy when you have a mental illness and no medication - that is what is going on - he doesn't want you to know how bad it really is
and there is nothing he can do for you and/or to keep you happy that hurts him as well - he is definitely in a hard predicament - of course he doesn't want to lose you but he probably figures you might not want to hang around forever waiting for him
I wouldn't ask - just go see him - take lunch or dinner or a pizza or something - just sit and talk or just be with him - in the meantime you have to take good care of yourself
click to expand
Posted by Deedee86I've been there. It didn't destroy me, it destroyed the relationship - and whatever love I had left for him ... it is tough I know - I went almost 12 years - I try to remember the good times we had and we did have some great adventures which I am thankful for. He was his best when out of the house and on vacation. But I'm still literally paying for all that as well - geez!
Just look at my whiny post history over the past year.
That will be you in six years.
Do I love him? Yes.
Did he depression destroy me? Absolutely
Read my posts and think very carefully about what you are getting into.
Posted by tresdynamiquesMorning Girl. I work at Joint Base San Antonio Fort Sam Houston. Your boyfriend has MANY benefits at the palm of his hands. Get him to contact the closest Army Medical Center (base) to schedule an appointment to see a therapist (don't know if he has PTSD {Post Traumatic Stress Disorder}, regular doctor, dentist, etc. He HAS to have Tricare (he pays only $ 3.00 for RX) and his appointments are free! You can Google any information he needs as they have POCs (Points of Contact) for him and all he has to do is move his ARSE to get the help he needs (I'm upset, yeah, because I don't CARE if he's a man, Taurus, "stubborn", etc, he served his country and again, he has benefits at the palm of his hands!!!) Grrrr! 😡
TL;DR-- Bipolar Taurus bf (LDR) is drowning and I don't know the best way to support him.
My Taurus boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship and he is struggling right now. He has bipolar disorder and his life has thrown him one curveball after another: he lost his place to live, his only mode of transportation is gone, he was forced to move an hour away from work and struggles to get there every day, he's broke, and according to him he's in the deepest depression he's ever been in.
As an almost completely true-to-form bull, I can't even imagine how this complete and total lack of stability is affecting him, coupled with his struggle with being bipolar. I've learned quickly that he's simply not able to be there for me right now, so I'm trying every day to put aside my own insecurities and depression and stay strong for him. When I'm positive and loving and just occasionally remind him that I love him and I'm here, he softens up a little bit, but he's been so distant and shut-down lately and it sucks so much. He's even apologized straight up, telling me that he's sorry he's so distant and that even though he knows it doesn't seem like it, he's doing the best he can right now.
He's getting sh*t on over and over and I've tried to explain to him that there is no shame in walking away from a bad situation that just keeps getting worse, and that if he moves up here we can work together towards the future he wants for us (he was dead-set on waiting until he got promoted at work before moving). I know he's proud and stubborn but it's murder to watch him hurting and I can't deny that it hurts me that he won't budge.
Either way, I'm so discouraged lately. A stubborn Taurus man (already hot and cold) with bipolar episodes and a crappy current life... I just don't know how to be there for him and help him through it, and I can't help feeling like the one person he already knows he can lean on (me) shouldn't be one of the people he's shutting out (he won't talk to his family or friends either). If ANYONE has insight on what it's like to be a Taurus with depression or bipolar disorder, I could really use anything you've got. I just want to understand what he's thinking and feeling and figure out the best way to support him. Even just encouragement that I'm on the right track here would be really helpful.
http://repforvets.com/Veterans-Disability-evaluation-Form_google_vietnam.html
https://www.goarmy.com/benefits.html
http://dvnf.org/our-work/?gclid=Cj0KCQjwwqXMBRCDARIsAD-AQ2giDvUxTNurJOzxQU7IVCdoAGL044WJSc-RTGM7sKYdDSaA0o_PvgsaAv2wEALw_wcB
https://www.usajobs.gov/
🤗 Cyber hugs!
Love,
Eva
PS: LAST link is for finding a job in his hometown (a GOVERNMENT job; I make $ 29.00 an hour; almost what a welder makes). But again, he has to move his ass to create a resume and be patient when creating his resume and adding all the information to usajobs.gov (believe you me it's not a friendly program, but successful if one works hard at it!)
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