"Friends" and Jealousy 🤔

I had this homegirl. Saw her as a sister. We had a falling out and I walked away gracefully. In a nutshell, she wasn't who I thought she was. #mattersoftheheart

Over a year later, she reaches out to me via text. She started the text basically stating:

I know how you are when you remove people from your life. I miss you and miss the hell out of you, but wanted to reach out to see if you can meet me on my level. *end*

Now, I typically don't take kindly to back handed comments or passive aggressiveness. She caught me on a very good eve. So, I overlooked "meet me on my level".

Later on, I interpreted that to mean that she thought, thinks, she's better than me. And, or, that I want what she has/is envious of her.

Weird. I don't want anything she has. Furthermore, she's the first "friend" to ever bring that type of tone/topic (jealousy), into the equation.

My questions:

Have you ever had a friend who believed you to be jealous of them? Or covetous?

How is the friendship now?

Do you feel "better than" your friend(s)?

What makes you feel this way?

Needless to say, by the end of the texting convo, I reminded her of why she lost her place in my life to begin with.

Why don't you ask her what she meant by that?..

I took it as.. let's talk it out instead of ghosting eachother like we've been doing.

Edit:: why did ya'll fall out? Maybe that has something to do with her making that comment and why you took it to mean jealousy..

Text can be very ambiguous, even if someone is really trying to say something and in a certain way, it might not come across the way they intended.

She obviously wants to reconnect, and she's acknowledging that you've made it clear that she is out of your life. She is telling you she misses you and wants back in. It takes guts to admit that. She's not just saying "Hey, what's up?".

I'm thinking she's trying to save some pride here and dignity.

Perhaps she's upset at you for something, that you're not aware of. Perhaps she's experienced some growth and wants you in her life but perhaps your relationship now has to change.

I agree that her comment about being on her level was a bit too much. It was like she was trying to save face before having a real conversation.

I'm also thinking that you are both showing a bit of your stubbornness.

Be cautious. Connect with her face to face. Be open. Be forgiving. Be smart. If you are both such good friends then you need to both be candid about the past, present, and future.

Um on her level? What does that mean? Did you ask her?

I take that to mean she is more concerned about her needs than yours. Not necessarily of someone being better than the other.

I had a situation with a best friends. The friendship needed to evolve past only thing of oneself, and letting each other be themselves. We are friends again. It’s a little different now though.

Posted by Yodi

Why don't you ask her what she meant by that?..

I took it as.. let's talk it out instead of ghosting eachother like we've been doing.

Edit:: why did ya'll fall out? Maybe that has something to do with her making that comment and why you took it to mean jealousy..

Far more often than not, she'd gossip about people she would introduce me too. I would know their most recent struggle or issue, before meeting them. It was distasteful. I also learned that she spoke ill of me too. I shared a secret w her and she told several people about it.

She was angry alot. I had no idea she was so stressed. Her children loved in fear of her.

Sidenote: We were friends since our 20s. States apart in our 30s. When we lived in the same state, we were able to learn more about each other. I learned mostly, that she was a very disrespectful person. Witnessed it towards her mother, sibling, etc

Posted by Piscis_Hominis

Text can be very ambiguous, even if someone is really trying to say something and in a certain way, it might not come across the way they intended.

She obviously wants to reconnect, and she's acknowledging that you've made it clear that she is out of your life. She is telling you she misses you and wants back in. It takes guts to admit that. She's not just saying "Hey, what's up?".

I'm thinking she's trying to save some pride here and dignity.

Perhaps she's upset at you for something, that you're not aware of. Perhaps she's experienced some growth and wants you in her life but perhaps your relationship now has to change.

I agree that her comment about being on her level was a bit too much. It was like she was trying to save face before having a real conversation.

I'm also thinking that you are both showing a bit of your stubbornness.

Be cautious. Connect with her face to face. Be open. Be forgiving. Be smart. If you are both such good friends then you need to both be candid about the past, present, and future.

Love this. Very intelligent response.