Choosing Between Love and Faithfulness??

Should anyone have to choose between love and faithfulness?? In modern society there are many people with open relationships, open marriages, swingers, swappers, and one year passes which they give to their significant others. Free love they call it and they share their energy openly with whomever they are attracted to. There's are so many lines. I love but I'm not in love with you. We're friends with benefits. We have an entanglement is the new one thanks to Will and Jada.

So I'm asking about beliefs here. Is love an option and loyalty another?? Do the majority of people just want to have someone there with them not asking for their loyalty as long as financial security exists?? There is no wrong answer, but let's see where the mindset of the collective is.

Comments are welcome and would you please share your sun sign along with your perspective...

There are different kinds of love. Marrying or getting in a serious long term relationship with someone for practical reasons you would not be happy with long term is what people call settling.

Personally no thanks.

Not going to throw shady on people who are happy with a particular kind of love or some form of poly or open relationship either. Just have compassion and understanding for your partner, self-awareness, and common sense. Beyond that... To each there own.

Also don't be surprised if you get some strong responses on this thread. For some people loyalty/commitment/devotion is a love language.

No love without faith.

Or maybe my expectations are too much..?

There's a popular couple's therapy, Esther Perel who is re-defining love and commitment in a more modern sense than what was before. I personally believe you can have one without the other. I.e, romance hits differently than commitment. But I would never condone cheating which is why I think boundaries are important to establish. Some ground rules outlined so that no one gets hurt. I think I'm faithful to someone even if I get romantic feelings towards someone else, if only because I don't want to hurt people and the quality of a relationship is better when people arent hurt. Just a fact. Depends on what hurts someone and that's a case by case basis.

That said, I think Will and jada is more complicated than people think. It's not all black and white. He thought it wasn't over, she thought, yea..its over, I'm free. So obv Will is hurt. After 25 years though, what exactly happens or should happen between two people? I don't really know, but they seem to agree on something.

Aka, love is something you have to kindle and revisit. Commitment is.. I guess that's more of a treaty or an agreement.

I'd choose love and fidelity.....not too much to ask and it worked in the past, so....

Posted by Marai

Can't we just have it all? Love, faith and an open relationship?

The world is your oyster.

🙏

Well, see that's where the problem comes in. It requires someone who wants to give it all, and for some reason most people aren't providing either. Hell, nowadays you're supposed to feel lucky if someone buys a sandwich and a soup for you and calls you an Uber.

Posted by MyStarsShine

I'd choose love and fidelity.....not too much to ask and it worked in the past, so....

Have you been able to find it in modern society— Love and fidelity?? Because for the most part all I'm seeing is games and various lanes..

Posted by GemCurioThe1

Posted by MyStarsShine

I'd choose love and fidelity.....not too much to ask and it worked in the past, so....

Have you been able to find it in modern society— Love and fidelity?? Because for the most part all I'm seeing is games and various lanes..

click to expand

Yes I have...all the long term rships I was in, the men were faithful, as was I

Having said that for the past seven years I've chosen to take a break and I'm now choosing to be loving and faithful to myself. I'm the calmest and happiest I've been In a long time 👍

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by GemCurioThe1

Posted by MyStarsShine

I'd choose love and fidelity.....not too much to ask and it worked in the past, so....

Have you been able to find it in modern society— Love and fidelity?? Because for the most part all I'm seeing is games and various lanes..

Yes I have...all the long term rships I was in, the men were faithful, as was I

Having said that for the past seven years I've chosen to take a break and I'm now choosing to be loving and faithful to myself. I'm the calmest and happiest I've been In a long time 👍

click to expand

If that were the case and you are single by choice, you chose being single over any love or faithfulness which would have been provided by any of your exes. When men or women choose to be single, they choose it for a reason and more often than not, it's due to past experiences. As you stated yourself, you had multiple long term relationships which ended. A waste of time and investment. Your calmest and happiest is founded in your singleness. Not your relationships. So... Why are you commenting?? It sounds more like you found in your relationships passions and compromise. Not love and faithfulness. Otherwise, equilibrium would have set in and at least one of your previous relationships would have sustained. It's just what naturally happens when someone is happy and calm.. Which is the point of relationships in the first place.

Posted by GemCurioThe1

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by GemCurioThe1

Posted by MyStarsShine

I'd choose love and fidelity.....not too much to ask and it worked in the past, so....

Have you been able to find it in modern society— Love and fidelity?? Because for the most part all I'm seeing is games and various lanes..

Yes I have...all the long term rships I was in, the men were faithful, as was I

Having said that for the past seven years I've chosen to take a break and I'm now choosing to be loving and faithful to myself. I'm the calmest and happiest I've been In a long time 👍

If that were the case and you are single by choice, you chose being single over any love or faithfulness which would have been provided by any of your exes. When men or women choose to be single, they choose it for a reason and more often than not, it's due to past experiences. As you stated yourself, you had multiple long term relationships which ended. A waste of time and investment. Your calmest and happiest is founded in your singleness. Not your relationships. So... Why are you commenting?? It sounds more like you found in your relationships passions and compromise. Not love and faithfulness. Otherwise, equilibrium would have set in and at least one of your previous relationships would have sustained. It's just what naturally happens when someone is happy and calm.. Which is the point of relationships in the first place.

click to expand

How do you know that? Why are you making presumptions? Yes to love and fidelity whilst the rships lasted and as we know, nothing lasts forever

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by GemCurioThe1

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by GemCurioThe1

Posted by MyStarsShine

I'd choose love and fidelity.....not too much to ask and it worked in the past, so....

Have you been able to find it in modern society— Love and fidelity?? Because for the most part all I'm seeing is games and various lanes..

Yes I have...all the long term rships I was in, the men were faithful, as was I

Having said that for the past seven years I've chosen to take a break and I'm now choosing to be loving and faithful to myself. I'm the calmest and happiest I've been In a long time 👍

If that were the case and you are single by choice, you chose being single over any love or faithfulness which would have been provided by any of your exes. When men or women choose to be single, they choose it for a reason and more often than not, it's due to past experiences. As you stated yourself, you had multiple long term relationships which ended. A waste of time and investment. Your calmest and happiest is founded in your singleness. Not your relationships. So... Why are you commenting?? It sounds more like you found in your relationships passions and compromise. Not love and faithfulness. Otherwise, equilibrium would have set in and at least one of your previous relationships would have sustained. It's just what naturally happens when someone is happy and calm.. Which is the point of relationships in the first place.

How do you know that? Why are you making presumptions? Yes to love and fidelity whilst the rships lasted and as we know, nothing lasts forever

click to expand

Those are facts. No one needs a relationship for sex anymore and a relationship is meant to enhance a life, not have it remain the same. A relationship holds no purpose for anything but enhancement of happiness and calmness. You found it single. No assumption. All your words. And yes, relationships are meant for longevity. Entanglements and situationships are not. Which is another reason why the English language has developed words for what you're talking about. I'm being specific.

Posted by GemCurioThe1

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by GemCurioThe1

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by GemCurioThe1

Posted by MyStarsShine

I'd choose love and fidelity.....not too much to ask and it worked in the past, so....

Have you been able to find it in modern society— Love and fidelity?? Because for the most part all I'm seeing is games and various lanes..

Yes I have...all the long term rships I was in, the men were faithful, as was I

Having said that for the past seven years I've chosen to take a break and I'm now choosing to be loving and faithful to myself. I'm the calmest and happiest I've been In a long time 👍

If that were the case and you are single by choice, you chose being single over any love or faithfulness which would have been provided by any of your exes. When men or women choose to be single, they choose it for a reason and more often than not, it's due to past experiences. As you stated yourself, you had multiple long term relationships which ended. A waste of time and investment. Your calmest and happiest is founded in your singleness. Not your relationships. So... Why are you commenting?? It sounds more like you found in your relationships passions and compromise. Not love and faithfulness. Otherwise, equilibrium would have set in and at least one of your previous relationships would have sustained. It's just what naturally happens when someone is happy and calm.. Which is the point of relationships in the first place.

How do you know that? Why are you making presumptions? Yes to love and fidelity whilst the rships lasted and as we know, nothing lasts forever

Those are facts. No one needs a relationship for sex anymore and a relationship is meant to enhance a life, not have it remain the same. A relationship holds no purpose for anything but enhancement of happiness and calmness. You found it single. No assumption. All your words. And yes, relationships are meant for longevity. Entanglements and situationships are not. Which is another reason why the English language has developed words for what you're talking about. I'm being specific.

click to expand

Okay if you say so