@Rainbow87
7 Years
Do you believe women should pay for dates? Why or why not?
Should Women Pay for Dates
Many believe men should pay for dates as a sign of traditional courtesy and chivalry, especially if they are financially stable. Others feel dating should be more equal, with both partners sharing costs. Personal preferences vary, but clear communication about expectations helps ensure a comfortable experience for both people.
I don’t know if I’m wrong to think this way. I know we’re living in a new generation but I don’t feel comfortable paying for dates.
Sorry. I don’t know if some women can relate to me but it’s just how I am.
Call me old fashioned, but I still believe things should be like the old days. A man should pick up a girl, open the car door for her and pay for the date. Then drive her back and end the date with a hot kiss 😘 👍 hahaha
That doesn’t mean I’m high maintenance. I don’t expect men to take me to a fancy expensive restaurant but to act like a gentleman, be romantic and show me that he can take good care of me. I want to know if anyone else thinks like me or I’m crazy for thinking this way.
By the way, I pay for my own bills and I do think us women should contribute financially to the household bills, but I don’t know about dates. Why do some men get annoyed that they always pay? Of course, there’s also circumstances. If a man lost his job then it’s different but if he’s financially stable there shouldn’t be an excuse to act like a gentleman.
I’d like to hear some opinions.
Old fashioned means he's owed sex on the 3rd date in lieu of paying.
I believe in going dutch the first date for sure. At least being prepared to pay for yourself is the thoughtful thing to do. If they want to pay for it after we have talked and ate, that’s always nice but not expected. I can pay for myself especially if there isn’t a connection. Why on earth would I expect someone to pay if we didn’t hit it off? I think it’s weird to expect the other person to pay, just because they are male.
Whoever invites out should cover the outing. Its not about gendered expectations, its about courtesy.
But on the flip side don't order an expensive ass meal or item if you don't have the money/card on you. Cause if things go south during the date you need to be able to throw money on the table as a big f you, and walk away.
I'm good with paying for everything just to make it a non-issue.
Gentleman
My dad took me out for dinner a few years back and was horrified that i offered him some cash. He said "a lady should never pay"
I feel more comfortable with paying my own way .....
I'm good with paying for everything just to make it a non-issue.
Gentleman
My dad took me out for dinner a few years back and was horrified that i offered him some cash. He said "a lady should never pay"
I feel more comfortable with paying my own way .....
Dictator*****
😂
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A generous one 😀
Im a bit like you... I think the guy should atleast pay for the first date.... not all the dates but maybe the first couple of dates depending on the situation. After that I don’t mind contributing.
I do agree that you should make sure you have money to pay incase thing go south... I have been in a situation(back in college) when the guy was supposed to pay for dinner and after we ate he tried to pay with a check and the restaurant was like "fuck no" so I ended up having to put it on my credit card.... so yeah it would have been nice if I had cash on me and then I could have just paid for mine and then left his ass but lesson learned.
The only time I'd say a woman should pay for the first date is if she was the one who asked him on the date in the first place making the first move and all that.
No, everyone pays for it's own stuff. Split bill.
I really don't understand why people keep making such a political issue out of something that can be solved so easily.
For some reason I hate splitting. I dunno.
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You just don't want to chip in for the fried green tomatoes I ordered as an appetizer.
That is why you are still dating.
I'm good with paying for everything just to make it a non-issue.
Gentleman
My dad took me out for dinner a few years back and was horrified that i offered him some cash. He said "a lady should never pay"
I feel more comfortable with paying my own way .....
Dictator*****
😂
A generous one 😀
That’s how they keep you hooked. 🤪
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I'm not that easily hooked 😀
I'm good with paying for everything just to make it a non-issue.
Gentleman
My dad took me out for dinner a few years back and was horrified that i offered him some cash. He said "a lady should never pay"
I feel more comfortable with paying my own way .....
Dictator*****
😂
A generous one 😀
That’s how they keep you hooked. 🤪
I'm not that easily hooked 😀
You aren’t hooked by generosity?
click to expand
Financial generosity....not really, that doesn't take much effort.
No, everyone pays for it's own stuff. Split bill.
I really don't understand why people keep making such a political issue out of something that can be solved so easily.
lol typisch deutsch
However, I hate dates.
I'm good with paying for everything just to make it a non-issue.
Gentleman
My dad took me out for dinner a few years back and was horrified that i offered him some cash. He said "a lady should never pay"
I feel more comfortable with paying my own way .....
Dictator*****
😂
A generous one 😀
That’s how they keep you hooked. 🤪
I'm not that easily hooked 😀
You aren’t hooked by generosity?
Financial generosity....not really, that doesn't take much effort.
click to expand
I don't know about you, but I have to work for my money.
No, everyone pays for it's own stuff. Split bill.
I really don't understand why people keep making such a political issue out of something that can be solved so easily.
lol typisch deutsch
However, I hate dates.
Just be friends first. 😛
Not gonna lie, ever since I've arrived here I have come to appreciate our german down to earth approach to all this stuff.
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Yeah, it's very practical even though I have to admit I have always paid most of the time unless it was something like going for a coffee.
I always take my first dates to the local supermarket - and yeah, sure... i didn't mind paying for her snacks - like Cheetos, Doritos, Lays and a bottle of Coca Cola or Sprite (2.5L ofc - the 0.5 ones are a steal by comparison). We can eat those while walking to a chosen destination (i always advise them to wear comfortable shoes - cause we might walk for 7 miles or so). Same goes if the first date takes place in a Cinema - first we go to a supermarket to get the snacks (we'll keep that hidden in a bag while getting in / i'm not stupid to buy food from cinemas). I don't mind opening doors - but there's rarely any along the way. Even the ones from public transportation (like the buss) - are automatic. OFC i always paid for her buss ticket. Like a real gentleman, i know...
...😏
I'm good with paying for everything just to make it a non-issue.
Gentleman
My dad took me out for dinner a few years back and was horrified that i offered him some cash. He said "a lady should never pay"
I feel more comfortable with paying my own way .....
Dictator*****
😂
A generous one 😀
That’s how they keep you hooked. 🤪
I'm not that easily hooked 😀
You aren’t hooked by generosity?
Financial generosity....not really, that doesn't take much effort.
I agree with you there. 👍🏻 It’s not my language.
click to expand
Thought not 🙂
Watch this video and then ask yourself the same question again....
Dating in relation to women and men has gone crazy. there are certain traits to each gender that are inherent in most cases and people want to guilt-trip you for how you feel based on their own fears,insecurities, or perspective.
This is normal as instinctively women want men to provide for them. Most men want to provide and protect. In turn they expect emotional support. Women want to provide emotional support.
Men are good providers and women are good nurturers. It's really simple... doesn't mean that each cannot do the other or wrong if they do. But no one should feel bad for wanting something that comes naturally to them and providing in turn something that is natural to them.
See .. we are different but compatible. 🙂
Only reason men are getting weird about paying is because they don't want to be used as there are women who just waste their time, only to take... and others are cheap, others just don't have it etc. Also if a guy is dating A LOT...that's a lot of money to spend on someone you won't be investing in.... Guys who are more intentional and serious about dating, do not mind paying at all because most women they choose to date they see possibly investing in further. .. at least in my experience. 🙂
Dating in relation to women and men has gone crazy. there are certain traits to each gender that are inherent in most cases and people want to guilt-trip you for how you feel based on their own fears,insecurities, or perspective.
This is normal as instinctively women want men to provide for them. Most men want to provide and protect. In turn they expect emotional support. Women want to provide emotional support.
Men are good providers and women are good nurturers. It's really simple... doesn't mean that each cannot do the other or wrong if they do. But no one should not feel bad for wanting something that comes naturally to them and providing in turn something that is natural to them.
See .. we are different but compatible. 🙂
Only reason men are getting weird about paying is because they don't want to be used as there are women who just waste their time, only to take... and others are cheap, others just don't have it etc. Also if a guy is dating A LOT...that's a lot of money to spend on someone you won't be investing in.... Guys are more intentional and serious about dating, do not mind paying at all. .. at least in my experience. 🙂
Damn straight! I don't mind paying for dates. And I fully intend to get back on with dating full-time once we figure this CoV stuff out.
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Gentleman and serious - 100%
1. Women are fighting for gender equality and probably this would be a great opportunity for them to showcase that
2. Mostly women are the ones looking for the Mr. Right, that perfect date or whatever. So they should probably be prepared to spend a dime on the dates. Sometimes to get what you want you have to risk it.
3. A man will have to spend lots of money during dating by getting gifts, presents, prenups etc for the woman. So it's better to spare him on the date bills so he can focus on special things for woman such as Valentines gifts, birthday presents etc.
4. Naturally women are emotional beings, so why not let them spoil the man on a date by taking him to special restaurants, dates, movies (cinema) etc. They can get creative rather than complaining how awful the date went.
5. It is the 21st century, things have changed, we have the #ME TOO MOVEMENT, CORONA VIRUS, BITCOIN, etc. So why not change roles. It's the best time to do that.
I'm good with paying for everything just to make it a non-issue.
Gentleman
My dad took me out for dinner a few years back and was horrified that i offered him some cash. He said "a lady should never pay"
I feel more comfortable with paying my own way .....
Dictator*****
😂
A generous one 😀
Your dad is a man kind that extinct...🤷♀️
click to expand
He was an Aries!
I agree. I don’t like it.
Or the idea of it
I'm good with paying for everything just to make it a non-issue.
Gentleman
My dad took me out for dinner a few years back and was horrified that i offered him some cash. He said "a lady should never pay"
I feel more comfortable with paying my own way .....
Dictator*****
😂
A generous one 😀
Your dad is a man kind that extinct...🤷♀️
He was an Aries!
Was he gorgeous AND generous with lots of stubborn ass qualities? 🤔
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Kind, political rebel, very romantic but chauvinistic, thought he was always in the right lol
Aries sun, Sag Moon, Venus Taurus, Gemini Mars
Watch this video and then ask yourself the same question again....
I agree meeting halfway is fair and minimizes resentment, but if I had a place picked out that I really wanted to take her, I would feel more obligated to foot the bill, at least at first.
From there, I try to read the situation and decide if she's just along for the ride or interested enough to contribute without any pressure on my part, given we're within similar budgets (I'm no high roller and don't want them to think I am). Still, that thoughtfulness gets my attention and will be rewarded.
click to expand
You are so fair 🙂
Watch this video and then ask yourself the same question again....
I agree meeting halfway is fair and minimizes resentment, but if I had a place picked out that I really wanted to take her, I would feel more obligated to foot the bill, at least at first.
From there, I try to read the situation and decide if she's just along for the ride or interested enough to contribute without any pressure on my part, given we're within similar budgets (I'm no high roller and don't want them to think I am). Still, that thoughtfulness gets my attention and will be rewarded.
click to expand
Thats what it is about. Dont expect the man to always pay but at least offer to pay aswell. If the man then still insist to pay, its ok to let him pay. At least the woman showed initiative. I've always been told that the guy should pay but I'm very independent money wise and feel very uncomfortable with the man paying for everything. Last year, with ex coworker's birthday...I asked him out. He said yes. I paid for our date. He offered to go for dinner aswell and insisted in paying for that, cause I paid for the date. He's a very oldfashioned and I could tell that it made him a bit uncomfortable that I paid for the date. Its same thing when we go out for drinks. He often pays for me but when I want to pay, he keeps putting my money back in my pocket. Eventually I told him that I too want to pay for drinks, that it doesnt always have to come from him. Thats basically what Matthew says aswell. If you're expecting the man to always pay for you, he's basically paying you for your time and thats wrong. Just show initiative, then its up to the man to accept or not. We as women wouldnt like it either if the woman is always expected to pay, so why should a man...?
Watch this video and then ask yourself the same question again....
I agree with him 100%
Watch this video and then ask yourself the same question again....
I agree with him 100%
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I do too. He makes valid points, especially the part where he says... paying for your time 🤷♀️
Watch this video and then ask yourself the same question again....
I agree with him 100%
I do too. He makes valid points, especially the part where he says... paying for your time 🤷♀️
click to expand
And its just good manners to offer, like he said you wouldn’t expect a friend to pay for everything. We’re not living in the 1940s lol
...and what’s with the double standard of wanting equal pay but not paying for anything...that don’t make any sense?
Watch this video and then ask yourself the same question again....
I agree with him 100%
I do too. He makes valid points, especially the part where he says... paying for your time 🤷♀️
And its just good manners to offer, like he said you wouldn’t expect a friend to pay for everything. We’re not living in the 1940s lol
click to expand
Exactly!
Watch this video and then ask yourself the same question again....
best relationship guru
...and what’s with the double standard of wanting equal pay but not paying for anything...that don’t make any sense?
Dating norms have nothing to do with equal pay for equal work.
I dont think it should be one-sided either way. Like if a man invites a woman on a date, he should pay. If a woman invites a man on a date she should pay. If you want to impress someone, you will likely pay extra for it. Thats the price of being dominant and trying to impress. If it's just two friends going out, both should take the bill every other time they go out. Like I pay this time, and you offer to pay next time. I deeply think of this shit with people too. That or we just pay for our own bill separately every time. I feel there is a level of respect being shown when buying people things or covering a bill. That respect should be paid back in full some way, and if it isn't then respect quick turns into manipulation imo.
Watch this video and then ask yourself the same question again....
best relationship guru
click to expand
He lays it down so simple and basic.
Whomever did the inviting and taking turns when your comfortable.
I prefer to pay unless we talk about it before hand. I don't consider it old fashion. It just seems right to me.
When they insist paying for something, I had them cover the tip as a compromise.
Watch this video and then ask yourself the same question again....
I agree meeting halfway is fair and minimizes resentment, but if I had a place picked out that I really wanted to take her, I would feel more obligated to foot the bill, at least at first.
From there, I try to read the situation and decide if she's just along for the ride or interested enough to contribute without any pressure on my part, given we're within similar budgets (I'm no high roller and don't want them to think I am). Still, that thoughtfulness gets my attention and will be rewarded.
You are so fair 🙂
Have you been...hiding your true feelings?🧐
click to expand
.....about what?
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I don’t know if I’m wrong to think this way. I know we’re living in a new generation but I don’t feel comfortable paying for dates.
Sorry. I don’t know if some women can relate to me but it’s just how I am.
Call me old fashioned, but I still believe things should be like the old days. A man should pick up a girl, open the car door for her and pay for the date. Then drive her back and end the date with a hot kiss 😘 👍 hahaha
That doesn’t mean I’m high maintenance. I don’t expect men to take me to a fancy expensive restaurant but to act like a gentleman, be romantic and show me that he can take good care of me. I want to know if anyone else thinks like me or I’m crazy for thinking this way.
By the way, I pay for my own bills and I do think us women should contribute financially to the household bills, but I don’t know about dates. Why do some men get annoyed that they always pay? Of course, there’s also circumstances. If a man lost his job then it’s different but if he’s financially stable there shouldn’t be an excuse to act like a gentleman.
I’d like to hear some opinions.