How many of you cheated...

This topic was created in the Relationships forum by christinelovessnickers on Friday, August 21, 2020 and has 25 replies.

Profile picture of christinelovessnickers
@christinelovessnickers
13 Years1,000+ Posts

And actually stayed faithful once you got married?

A friend of mine has cheated on her so since trey have been together. It's not my business, but we have talked about it. She told me she would stop if they ever got married.

I'm not sure ei believe that, but people do shit. Curious if anyone has been this way successfully.

Profile picture of sweethearts
@sweethearts
20 Years5,000+ Posts

It’s all about a persons conscience, if your friend Is constantly cheating I personal doubt that’s going to stop because of marriage. It might for a little while but when things aren’t good she’ll revert back.

I always ask a guy that I’m interested in if he has cheated on anyone before I allow myself to get in too deep. I do think once a cheater, they can stray easier.

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@christinelovessnickers
13 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by HippeeGem

I never have, but my ex-husband did. Before, after, during, etc. I dont know why I gave him the benefit of the doubt when he confessed it to me only once.

Because he only did since his roommates gf caught them. This was a few days before we moved in together and our son was 2 years old. So he probably felt like he had no choice but to confess.

Never caught him in the actual act after, I kind of buried my head in the sand for a while and didn't want to admit I made a mistake. But there were way too many lies and little things that weren't so little I knew about.

People can change though. If they want to. I still try to have faith on that.

Has to be a lot of work to change and most people don't want to do that work.

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@christinelovessnickers
13 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by sweethearts

It’s all about a persons conscience, if your friend Is constantly cheating I personal doubt that’s going to stop because of marriage. It might for a little while but when things aren’t good she’ll revert back.

I always ask a guy that I’m interested in if he has cheated on anyone before I allow myself to get in too deep. I do think once a cheater, they can stray easier.

I like that quote.

Profile picture of CuddleBug1288
@CuddleBug1288
14 Years1,000+ PostsSagittarius

I cheated on my ex (a Gem) once, after a too-drunken night out with a girl friend (she seen a couple dudes she was friends with n well, ope...Aqua caught my attention 😬😅🙈 and no not an excuse being drunk AF..) Told the ex a couple days after it happened.. was rocky for us for awhile but we were together like 5 years after that shit happened n no, never happened again.

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@sweethearts
20 Years5,000+ Posts

Posted by CuddleBug1288

I cheated on my ex (a Gem) once, after a too-drunken night out with a girl friend (she seen a couple dudes she was friends with n well, ope...Aqua caught my attention 😬😅🙈 and no not an excuse being drunk AF..) Told the ex a couple days after it happened.. was rocky for us for awhile but we were together like 5 years after that shit happened n no, never happened again.

That’s the difference with conscience levels, you fucked up, regretted it, came clean and took the punishment.

Then there are people that cheat hide it and don’t really regret. They continue because they aren’t held accountable until they are caught... then they are sorry and apologetic.

Profile picture of Enfant-Terrible-II
@Enfant-Terrible-II
6 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by christinelovessnickers

And actually stayed faithful once you got married?

A friend of mine has cheated on her so since trey have been together. It's not my business, but we have talked about it. She told me she would stop if they ever got married.

I'm not sure ei believe that, but people do shit. Curious if anyone has been this way successfully.

What difference does it make if they're married or not if they're in a relationship they both agreed is exclusive?

Some couples never get married. Does it make it open season?

I cheated while in a relationship and I don't consider it any less a betrayal than had we been married.

Profile picture of christinelovessnickers
@christinelovessnickers
13 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by CuddleBug1288

I cheated on my ex (a Gem) once, after a too-drunken night out with a girl friend (she seen a couple dudes she was friends with n well, ope...Aqua caught my attention 😬😅🙈 and no not an excuse being drunk AF..) Told the ex a couple days after it happened.. was rocky for us for awhile but we were together like 5 years after that shit happened n no, never happened again.

Glad you guys were able to turn that into a positive. What do you think helped you work through it?

Profile picture of christinelovessnickers
@christinelovessnickers
13 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by sweethearts

Posted by CuddleBug1288

I cheated on my ex (a Gem) once, after a too-drunken night out with a girl friend (she seen a couple dudes she was friends with n well, ope...Aqua caught my attention 😬😅🙈 and no not an excuse being drunk AF..) Told the ex a couple days after it happened.. was rocky for us for awhile but we were together like 5 years after that shit happened n no, never happened again.

That’s the difference with conscience levels, you fucked up, regretted it, came clean and took the punishment.

Then there are people that cheat hide it and don’t really regret. They continue because they aren’t held accountable until they are caught... then they are sorry and apologetic.

click to expand

But probably not really sorry or apologetic. I feel like that's my ex.

Profile picture of christinelovessnickers
@christinelovessnickers
13 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by Enfant-Terrible-II

Posted by christinelovessnickers

And actually stayed faithful once you got married?

A friend of mine has cheated on her so since trey have been together. It's not my business, but we have talked about it. She told me she would stop if they ever got married.

I'm not sure ei believe that, but people do shit. Curious if anyone has been this way successfully.

What difference does it make if they're married or not if they're in a relationship they both agreed is exclusive?

Some couples never get married. Does it make it open season?

I cheated while in a relationship and I don't consider it any less a betrayal than had we been married.

click to expand

I have always been a believer of end it first or see about opening the relationship.

Profile picture of christinelovessnickers
@christinelovessnickers
13 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by PhoenixStorm

In my early 20s I cheated on a guy and felt horrible about it. My soft ass cried more than he did. I will never do that to someone again, when other people are hurt by my actions it hurts me just as much, if not more. Lessons learned the hard way.

I haven't cheated and haven't really understood it. However, I know plenty of people who have. I have spoken with some of them about it just to understanding their perspective.

Profile picture of sweethearts
@sweethearts
20 Years5,000+ Posts

Posted by Enfant-Terrible-II

Posted by christinelovessnickers

And actually stayed faithful once you got married?

A friend of mine has cheated on her so since trey have been together. It's not my business, but we have talked about it. She told me she would stop if they ever got married.

I'm not sure ei believe that, but people do shit. Curious if anyone has been this way successfully.

What difference does it make if they're married or not if they're in a relationship they both agreed is exclusive?

Some couples never get married. Does it make it open season?

I cheated while in a relationship and I don't consider it any less a betrayal than had we been married.

click to expand

Maybe she is holding that as a carrot for him to propose and marry her. She might be one of those girls that just had to be married. They are the bridezillas you see, it’s all about the wedding day!

Profile picture of christinelovessnickers
@christinelovessnickers
13 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by PhoenixStorm

She’s stupid lol if she doesn’t have willpower to say no to dick now, does she think she will miraculously develop some willpower after he marries her? 🙄🤦🏼‍♀️

Hopefully he never marries her. She sounds like a piece of shit.

Yeah, I'm not convinced she will stop. There will be some reason later on for not stopping I'm sure.

Profile picture of christinelovessnickers
@christinelovessnickers
13 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by F0RTUNA

I have cheated on cheaters, while they were cheating on me. That sounds funny 😆

One of the guys I cheated with turned into a 7yr long relationship. He wanted to settle down and I wasn’t ready, so we went our separate ways.

I am now with a Libra (6.5 yrs now) and I’ve never cheated. I have no desire to cheat and I am mature enough to call quits before moving onto something else and honestly I don’t think I would desire anyone else for a long time if I were single. I have a little boy and he would take up my time and energy and additionally I would spend the spare time and energy on myself, since I rarely get that as it is....

I am already an independent person, and not the type that needs to be with someone (relationship or not).

Amen! Focus on the two most important people: yourself and your child!

Haha I'm sure it felt nice at the time that they got a taste of there on medicine.

Profile picture of christinelovessnickers
@christinelovessnickers
13 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by sweethearts

Posted by Enfant-Terrible-II

Posted by christinelovessnickers

And actually stayed faithful once you got married?

A friend of mine has cheated on her so since trey have been together. It's not my business, but we have talked about it. She told me she would stop if they ever got married.

I'm not sure ei believe that, but people do shit. Curious if anyone has been this way successfully.

What difference does it make if they're married or not if they're in a relationship they both agreed is exclusive?

Some couples never get married. Does it make it open season?

I cheated while in a relationship and I don't consider it any less a betrayal than had we been married.

Maybe she is holding that as a carrot for him to propose and marry her. She might be one of those girls that just had to be married. They are the bridezillas you see, it’s all about the wedding day!

click to expand

Thinking about it, I could see it. Shitty ass carrot though. 🤷🏽‍♀️

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@christinelovessnickers
13 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by PhoenixStorm

Posted by christinelovessnickers

Posted by PhoenixStorm

In my early 20s I cheated on a guy and felt horrible about it. My soft ass cried more than he did. I will never do that to someone again, when other people are hurt by my actions it hurts me just as much, if not more. Lessons learned the hard way.

I haven't cheated and haven't really understood it. However, I know plenty of people who have. I have spoken with some of them about it just to understanding their perspective.

My sons dad cheated on me so sorry if I came across a little triggered lmao I don’t understand it either. I mean I understand the temptation part of it.. we are all tempted at some point. What I don’t understand is the ability to do it over and over without having any conscience of who will be hurt or affected by it. In fact I don’t even understand why the girl is even considering marriage because she clearly isn’t satisfied with just him, so it’s useless to marry. What would be the point? 🤯 I don’t understand people lol

click to expand

Honestly, didn't take anything you typed the wrong way. This isn't necessarily a safe topic.

Yeah, I think there is a fear if being abandoned/ alone possibly. But, she is creating those opportunities for it.

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@christinelovessnickers
13 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by Arielle83

I’d tell her bf.

Just like I’d hope the friend, of a cheating partner, would inform me if my partner was betraying me.

I think of sexual health and losing time to someone that is wasting mine.

I haven't said anything, but have often play up to her conscience. I don't talk to her boyfriend unless we are all together. Not sure how best to handle that.

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@christinelovessnickers
13 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by GemiAwesomeAss

Posted by Arielle83

I’d tell her bf.

Just like I’d hope the friend, of a cheating partner, would inform me if my partner was betraying me.

I think of sexual health and losing time to someone that is wasting mine.

My adult neighbor cheated on his wife and when her mother caught them and told the wife - she told her mother to STFU!

Layer when everything went out and open - the wife yelled at us, neighbors for knowing and not telling her. We were like - your MOTHER told you! Did you react?

I would think hard telling because most of the time people don’t want to know! And ‘saving’ them by being a good friend you actually losing them because you are becoming source of pain vs best friend...

click to expand

I know people that have lost friendships for getting in the middle too.

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@christinelovessnickers
13 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by Arielle83

Posted by christinelovessnickers

Posted by Arielle83

I’d tell her bf.

Just like I’d hope the friend, of a cheating partner, would inform me if my partner was betraying me.

I think of sexual health and losing time to someone that is wasting mine.

I haven't said anything, but have often play up to her conscience. I don't talk to her boyfriend unless we are all together. Not sure how best to handle that.

I’d be sick of hearing her drama and tell her to tell her bf or I will, because her two faced shit is getting old.

click to expand

That's exactly how I feel.

Profile picture of Enfant-Terrible-II
@Enfant-Terrible-II
6 Years1,000+ Posts

Posted by GemiAwesomeAss

Posted by Arielle83

I’d tell her bf.

Just like I’d hope the friend, of a cheating partner, would inform me if my partner was betraying me.

I think of sexual health and losing time to someone that is wasting mine.

My adult neighbor cheated on his wife and when her mother caught them and told the wife - she told her mother to STFU!

Layer when everything went out and open - the wife yelled at us, neighbors for knowing and not telling her. We were like - your MOTHER told you! Did you react?

I would think hard telling because most of the time people don’t want to know! And ‘saving’ them by being a good friend you actually losing them because you are becoming source of pain vs best friend...

click to expand

If they can't handle reality it's their problem. And if they shit on you for being a caring friend then they deserve to be lost as friends. Your way of reasoning is deeply flawed and grounded in a false safety bubble.

Unfortunately most people seem to think the way you do, like they have no moral obligation to interfere. If you know something and aren't sharing you cannot renounce said obligation just as you cannot unlearn what u know.