wagtail
@wagtail
13 Years5,000+ Posts
Comments: 1648 Ā· Posts: 8304 Ā· Topics: 67
Connections
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Spend time with them, share experiences i've been through, listen to theirs, try to be there for them as much as i can, sometimes that isn't enough, so i will try to make sure to set aside time just for them. Communicate with them, exchange of ideals, goals, dreams. Be supportive, even if i don't necessarily agree with everything, listen to understand not just be heard.
Posted by DistilledWhat an amazing answer - I really feel like the work involved here is somehow taking you out of yourself and being reinvested in the 'connection'
I let them talk. I talk TO them.
I listen TO them.
I let them know how I feel. Even when they are wrong. This may seem selfish, but I just know when they want to hear something that they can't say themselves.
They need someone to validate them. So I do that.
I forgive them.
I touch them.
I smile and laugh with them.
I cry for them.
I create a safe haven and don't betray them. They can count on me, when they feel there is no one else. Even if they haven't returned that. (Not to be consumed with being dumb here).
I anticipate their needs. Like their favorite food, when they've had a rough day, when they want to be alone, stuff like that.
I get them out to do what they love to do, and do it with them, or just watch.
I love them.
Does this get results that you want, or do you feel somewhat drained by it?
Posted by Leo188881Awesome pov
I think we communicate more with eye contact, smiles and body language than we can with just words. I believe a connection is established by the feeling you get in someones presence.
So, as time progresses do these pathways become more and more deeply entrenched or do you find yourself thinking of other ways to keep it going?
Posted by justagirlSo in one way you create a space you can both go into that allows for communication without confrontation.
Spend time with them, share experiences i've been through, listen to theirs, try to be there for them as much as i can, sometimes that isn't enough, so i will try to make sure to set aside time just for them. Communicate with them, exchange of ideals, goals, dreams. Be supportive, even if i don't necessarily agree with everything, listen to understand not just be heard.
When you exchange ideas or opinions do you feel it builds a connection or does it take you in seperate directions that somehow meet up down the line?
Posted by oxSunQueenxoYou find sharing or communicating daily through different ways is important? And what happens if you are feeling isolated or unable to emote with that other person - does the level of connection suffer or is it still strong regardless?
Hanging out while in the same physical space. Talking on the phone and/or on video chat while away from each other. Talking about our own lives, how we've processed the day mentally and emotionally. Etc.
Posted by nanoVery interesting perspective.
Hmmm to create a connection is easy, as it always happens organically by just enjoying each other's energy, personalities, and company. I've never had to put conscious effort into creating a connection.
Sustaining is more difficult... my romantic connections have always died around the 3-5 year mark sooo šāāļø
I think where I go wrong is getting too comfortable, not having the same level of respect for each other as the beginning, communication gets more difficult, stop trying to romance each other, not appreciating what we do for each other, etc.
So I guess to sustain a connection would be the opposite of all those things lol
Would you say with time and experience you've adjusted your behaviour or adapted ways to sustain this relationship or have you simply found someone or surrounded yourself with people over time who are able to handle that comfortable level almost that sort of 'take things for granted' attitude and still feel connected?
Posted by tizianiI'm interested in either or experiences.
Do you mean sustain for them or for me?
Whatever you feel is relevant to the question...
Yep, talking and doing mean full things together
Posted by oxSunQueenxošPosted by pisceswoman123Stark contrast in length to my post. š
Yep, talking and doing mean full things togetherclick to expand
But I agree about the talking about emotions. That brings people closer.
Posted by pisceswoman123What sort of doing - is it meaningful to you or to the other person specifically?
Yep, talking and doing mean full things together
If the activity is meaningful to you do you think that helps build the connection or weakens it. And why
Posted by nanoDoes this apply to relationships that aren't romantic for you as well?Posted by wagtailNo I haven't changed or adjusted anything unfortunately. I'm bad at love like that Halsey song. Something I've been trying to figure out... why I'm a worst version of myself in relationships lol.Posted by nanoVery interesting perspective.
Hmmm to create a connection is easy, as it always happens organically by just enjoying each other's energy, personalities, and company. I've never had to put conscious effort into creating a connection.
Sustaining is more difficult... my romantic connections have always died around the 3-5 year mark sooo šāāļø
I think where I go wrong is getting too comfortable, not having the same level of respect for each other as the beginning, communication gets more difficult, stop trying to romance each other, not appreciating what we do for each other, etc.
So I guess to sustain a connection would be the opposite of all those things lol
Would you say with time and experience you've adjusted your behaviour or adapted ways to sustain this relationship or have you simply found someone or surrounded yourself with people over time who are able to handle that comfortable level almost that sort of 'take things for granted' attitude and still feel connected?
For me though, the only two guys who have stuck around and are willing to stay put in that "comfort zone" forever are actually Gemini men. I hate that 'taking each other for granted' slump, but it's happened in every one of my rships so far around year 3. I have so much to learn about love and relationships still.click to expand
And I think one the best parts of it all could be that there is always more to learn- keeps it somewhat interesting even when stuck in a bit of a rut.
I feel like being silly/playful helps. And overall staying the way your personality was when yāall first met.
Posted by oxSunQueenxoHow important is it to have a physical connection?Posted by wagtail1. Yes. Or if not every day, then at least often enough for both people to feel connected. That frequency would be dependent on the people in the relationship and the circumstances of the relationship.Posted by oxSunQueenxoYou find sharing or communicating daily through different ways is important? And what happens if you are feeling isolated or unable to emote with that other person - does the level of connection suffer or is it still strong regardless?
Hanging out while in the same physical space. Talking on the phone and/or on video chat while away from each other. Talking about our own lives, how we've processed the day mentally and emotionally. Etc.
Phone/video calls are extremely important... Even if short. Inflection is everything. Body language is everything. I would want to be as close to my partner as possible without invading his space (because we all know clingiest would only last with other clingers). If we can't be in the same space physically, talk. I want to hear the voice, its nuances, time taken in between words for silence/thoughts, all of that and more.
I have a mind that never shuts up - I always have my phone on me. I'm constantly thinking constantly browsing the web, constantly communicating whether that means talking to other people or mentally interacting with an article I'm reading... Or listening to music. I get extremely irritated, even angry, if I can't listen to music when I have nothing else to do. And I think you know how important music is to me, Wag...
2. Isolation's effects on a relationship would also be dependent on the individual situation. What causes the isolation/emotional coldness? Who does it involve? What relationship does that person have with the emotionally cold person? Etc etc. But for the short answer, I think yes it would cause the relationship a bit of hurt, but if the feeling of isolation originates from a temporary situation, even if long-term, I don't think in the end it would cause much damage.click to expand
Does this only include sex or intimate contact or could we also include things like leaning into each other as you sit on a park bench or putting your feet across someone's lap while you read.
If you had a choice between developing communication purely by phone or vid chat etc or actually being there which do you prefer
Posted by WhorpioNice šš¾
I feel like being silly/playful helps. And overall staying the way your personality was when yāall first met.
If someone came to you and said- you've changed and as a result I feel like we've lost some aspect of connection what would you consider doing to amend that... is it more or less meaningful to a) change or b) tell em to lump it
Posted by CachetI feel like I should take notes here.
ā¢ keeping the lines of communication open as much as possible. Especially in times of increased vulnerability.
This would mean more than just talking, but actively listening and acting upon what was said.
ā¢ Ensure trust in word and action.
ā¢ Understanding of oneself and the other. Avoid assumptions; act based on what is/how you know yourself to be/how you know your partner to be, to get to what can be.
ā¢ Spending time together. I don't mean being stuck at the hip (though, some people enjoy that..for some reason)
ā¢ Silence can be golden, indeed. Interestingly enough, I regard it as another form of communication. Silence together. Being in the same space without having to run your mouth off to fill the silence. Finding comfort in one another's presence.
ā¢ evaluating the connection every now and then and adjusting it as needed.
ā¢ Putting less pressure on what the connection should be and enjoy it for what it is. If you want more, ask for more, but getting to that more is a two-(or more)person job.
Was there ever a point where you intellectually understood or knew this- but hadn't actually followed one or more of these points and as a result you found a connection you valued was suffering?
Or is it an organic lesson you've learned with others along the way - no regrets?
Posted by wagtailPosted by Whorpio
I feel like being silly/playful helps. And overall staying the way your personality was when yāall first met.
Nice šš¾
If someone came to you and said- you've changed and as a result I feel like we've lost some aspect of connection what would you consider doing to amend that... is it more or less meaningful to a) change or b) tell em to lump itclick to expand
It might be awkward to change back because they might think youāre manipulating them or kissing their ass. Gotta genuinely change back and let it be known youāre doing it to save the relationship Iād say.
Posted by WhorpioOutside of a 'romantic relationship' has this ever been your experience with friends or family too?Posted by wagtailPosted by Whorpio
I feel like being silly/playful helps. And overall staying the way your personality was when yāall first met.
Nice šš¾
If someone came to you and said- you've changed and as a result I feel like we've lost some aspect of connection what would you consider doing to amend that... is it more or less meaningful to a) change or b) tell em to lump it
It might be awkward to change back because they might think youāre manipulating them or kissing their ass. Gotta genuinely change back and let it be known youāre doing it to save the relationship Iād say.
click to expand
Is it more or less important because of that
Posted by nanoPosted by wagtailNot at all! I find myself being very mutable in friendship or family relationships. I feel like I am the one always bending and compromising to the people I care about, to try to keep peace or make them happy, when the same manner is not extended to me at all... i.e.- my entire family is made up of fixed signs.Posted by nanoDoes this apply to relationships that aren't romantic for you as well?Posted by wagtailNo I haven't changed or adjusted anything unfortunately. I'm bad at love like that Halsey song. Something I've been trying to figure out... why I'm a worst version of myself in relationships lol.Posted by nanoVery interesting perspective.
Hmmm to create a connection is easy, as it always happens organically by just enjoying each other's energy, personalities, and company. I've never had to put conscious effort into creating a connection.
Sustaining is more difficult... my romantic connections have always died around the 3-5 year mark sooo šāāļø
I think where I go wrong is getting too comfortable, not having the same level of respect for each other as the beginning, communication gets more difficult, stop trying to romance each other, not appreciating what we do for each other, etc.
So I guess to sustain a connection would be the opposite of all those things lol
Would you say with time and experience you've adjusted your behaviour or adapted ways to sustain this relationship or have you simply found someone or surrounded yourself with people over time who are able to handle that comfortable level almost that sort of 'take things for granted' attitude and still feel connected?
For me though, the only two guys who have stuck around and are willing to stay put in that "comfort zone" forever are actually Gemini men. I hate that 'taking each other for granted' slump, but it's happened in every one of my rships so far around year 3. I have so much to learn about love and relationships still.
And I think one the best parts of it all could be that there is always more to learn- keeps it somewhat interesting even when stuck in a bit of a rut.
In romance elationships, I am the one who is fixed as hell and I won't budge or want to change a single thing for anyone, even if I end up hurt because of my own stubbornness lol. I'll just sit and be hurt and suffer before I change somethingclick to expand
With that last part- do you see that as a strength or a weakness - if you had a choice is it something you would change?
Do you see connections becoming stronger as a result?
Imo going on adventures together. Exploring uncharted territory, and discovering new things together. Like companions on a mission to see life in a new way. To experience things you never though you would. Those memories create a strong bond, and make people more then just a couple.
I feel like simple day to day connections with people is boring and lacks depth. That's likely why I do everything solo and find myself deep inside my thoughts. It would be nice to find someone I could relate with and get lost somewhere within the web of roads though.
I feel like simple day to day connections with people is boring and lacks depth. That's likely why I do everything solo and find myself deep inside my thoughts. It would be nice to find someone I could relate with and get lost somewhere within the web of roads though.
Posted by Leo188881Posted by wagtailI think eye contact is the deepest. The type where your noses are almost touching and you don't say a word. I always hated eye contact because it feels so vulnrable but I'm dating an Aquarius and that's what they do. They somehow stare into your soul through your eyes and i like it now. It's like letting someone see inside you. So that's how he connects to me. I connect with hugs. So my body pressed against his and talking in heart beats through invisible currents.Posted by Leo188881Awesome pov
I think we communicate more with eye contact, smiles and body language than we can with just words. I believe a connection is established by the feeling you get in someones presence.
So, as time progresses do these pathways become more and more deeply entrenched or do you find yourself thinking of other ways to keep it going?
I can have conversation with anyone so i don't think it's that special. I think connection is much deeper than that. Like your heart and souls are synchronised. You think of a baby with it's mother and the love pours out from within. It's not made of words it's attachment through eye contact and the sound of a heart beat as she holds it close and gives it warmth.
I don't know if that sounds silly but that's how i connect with my partner. It's a connection we only share with each other so it's more special than the superficial connection i share with others.click to expand
Sounds really lovely with the Aqua.
Eye contact fascinates me on a few levels - for example I understand the intensity you talk about with a lover- but I can't exactly stare down my boss say, when we cross paths in the break room...
so on a daily basis what else do you do with others that makes YOU feel connected and 'in touch' with what's happening?
Posted by Soul
Imo going on adventures together. Exploring uncharted territory, and discovering new things together. Like companions on a mission to see life in a new way. To experience things you never though you would. Those memories create a strong bond, and make people more then just a couple.
I feel like simple day to day connections with people is boring and lacks depth. That's likely why I do everything solo and find myself deep inside my thoughts. It would be nice to find someone I could relate with and get lost somewhere within the web of roads though.
I like this answer because I feel like personally I can relate to the seeking experiences thing, collecting adventures together etc but
Is there anyone in your life you really look forward to seeing for what ever reason and what sort of actions do you take to stay 'in sync' or connected with them that are fulfilling for both of you.
If you stopped would you feel truly deeply alone or still somewhat self contained? And how does that make you feel
Posted by CachetHaha fair enough
I should probably add that my list is what would work for me. May not work for everyone.
With the wisdom of hindsight as well, do you put more or less stress on the virtues of being connected.
Do you ever feel like some are more worthy than others?
Posted by Leo188881I was wondering when someone would say what you just said in your last sentence- because THATS really something Ive been wondering and feeling lately...Posted by wagtailPosted by Leo188881Posted by wagtailI think eye contact is the deepest. The type where your noses are almost touching and you don't say a word. I always hated eye contact because it feels so vulnrable but I'm dating an Aquarius and that's what they do. They somehow stare into your soul through your eyes and i like it now. It's like letting someone see inside you. So that's how he connects to me. I connect with hugs. So my body pressed against his and talking in heart beats through invisible currents.Posted by Leo188881Awesome pov
I think we communicate more with eye contact, smiles and body language than we can with just words. I believe a connection is established by the feeling you get in someones presence.
So, as time progresses do these pathways become more and more deeply entrenched or do you find yourself thinking of other ways to keep it going?
I can have conversation with anyone so i don't think it's that special. I think connection is much deeper than that. Like your heart and souls are synchronised. You think of a baby with it's mother and the love pours out from within. It's not made of words it's attachment through eye contact and the sound of a heart beat as she holds it close and gives it warmth.
I don't know if that sounds silly but that's how i connect with my partner. It's a connection we only share with each other so it's more special than the superficial connection i share with others.
Sounds really lovely with the Aqua.
Eye contact fascinates me on a few levels - for example I understand the intensity you talk about with a lover- but I can't exactly stare down my boss say, when we cross paths in the break room...
so on a daily basis what else do you do with others that makes YOU feel connected and 'in touch' with what's happening?
I don't think i connect deeply with people. I'm generous, loyal, honest and caring. I'll go running to a friend with pizza and ice cream at 3am in my pjs if someone needs me. I'll offer money or help without being asked if i sense something is needed. I'll stay up and talk and listen until the sun comes up and bring a box of tissues. But I'm not the type to show my own vulnerability. I'm the rock that holds it together so everyone else can fall apart without breaking.
For me to connect, i would have to be equally as vulnrable as others but I'm not. So while people feel a connection to me and call me their best friend, put me in their bridal party, ask me to baptize their children, i feel a disconnect. So maybe connection is in sharing your vulnerability.
click to expand
The role of vulnerability in relationships.
Pro or con
Posted by wagtailI can't really say I look forward to seeing anyone. I guess people I haven't seen in a long time would be the only case. As for actions I really don't do anything. I just instantly sync with the people I chose to hang around. It's likely because I only pick people to keep in my life I already know I sync with. I don't really give random people chances. We either sync, or we don't. I instantly know which one it is. Because of that I always find myself surrounded with people I already have deep connections with. I cut my ties off with people all the time. I ghost like I'm getting paid, and really can't change that. Yet the people close to me still stick around. I honestly don't know why. To be honest I can't tell you how being truly alone would make me feel, because no matter how hard I've tried to isolate myself the connections with the people around me make it impossible.Posted by Soul
Imo going on adventures together. Exploring uncharted territory, and discovering new things together. Like companions on a mission to see life in a new way. To experience things you never though you would. Those memories create a strong bond, and make people more then just a couple.
I feel like simple day to day connections with people is boring and lacks depth. That's likely why I do everything solo and find myself deep inside my thoughts. It would be nice to find someone I could relate with and get lost somewhere within the web of roads though.
I like this answer because I feel like personally I can relate to the seeking experiences thing, collecting adventures together etc but
Is there anyone in your life you really look forward to seeing for what ever reason and what sort of actions do you take to stay 'in sync' or connected with them that are fulfilling for both of you.
If you stopped would you feel truly deeply alone or still somewhat self contained? And how does that make you feel
click to expand
Posted by SoulIf there was anything about this you could change what would it be?Posted by wagtailI can't really say I look forward to seeing anyone. I guess people I haven't seen in a long time would be the only case. As for actions I really don't do anything. I just instantly sync with the people I chose to hang around. It's likely because I only pick people to keep in my life I already know I sync with. I don't really give random people chances. We either sync, or we don't. I instantly know which one it is. Because of that I always find myself surrounded with people I already have deep connections with. I cut my ties off with people all the time. I ghost like I'm getting paid, and really can't change that. Yet the people close to me still stick around. I honestly don't know why. To be honest I can't tell you how being truly alone would make me feel, because no matter how hard I've tried to isolate myself the connections with the people around me make it impossible.Posted by Soul
Imo going on adventures together. Exploring uncharted territory, and discovering new things together. Like companions on a mission to see life in a new way. To experience things you never though you would. Those memories create a strong bond, and make people more then just a couple.
I feel like simple day to day connections with people is boring and lacks depth. That's likely why I do everything solo and find myself deep inside my thoughts. It would be nice to find someone I could relate with and get lost somewhere within the web of roads though.
I like this answer because I feel like personally I can relate to the seeking experiences thing, collecting adventures together etc but
Is there anyone in your life you really look forward to seeing for what ever reason and what sort of actions do you take to stay 'in sync' or connected with them that are fulfilling for both of you.
If you stopped would you feel truly deeply alone or still somewhat self contained? And how does that make you feel
click to expand
Do you think seeking connection will become more important to you with time or are you fixed in this place
Posted by wagtailI feel like I will forever be stuck in the middle, till an outside force is strong enough to move me. Really its not even that hard to do. I'm kind of easy to control, but people see me as the opposite. Till then I'm fine sitting right here like a stone.Posted by SoulIf there was anything about this you could change what would it be?Posted by wagtailI can't really say I look forward to seeing anyone. I guess people I haven't seen in a long time would be the only case. As for actions I really don't do anything. I just instantly sync with the people I chose to hang around. It's likely because I only pick people to keep in my life I already know I sync with. I don't really give random people chances. We either sync, or we don't. I instantly know which one it is. Because of that I always find myself surrounded with people I already have deep connections with. I cut my ties off with people all the time. I ghost like I'm getting paid, and really can't change that. Yet the people close to me still stick around. I honestly don't know why. To be honest I can't tell you how being truly alone would make me feel, because no matter how hard I've tried to isolate myself the connections with the people around me make it impossible.Posted by Soul
Imo going on adventures together. Exploring uncharted territory, and discovering new things together. Like companions on a mission to see life in a new way. To experience things you never though you would. Those memories create a strong bond, and make people more then just a couple.
I feel like simple day to day connections with people is boring and lacks depth. That's likely why I do everything solo and find myself deep inside my thoughts. It would be nice to find someone I could relate with and get lost somewhere within the web of roads though.
I like this answer because I feel like personally I can relate to the seeking experiences thing, collecting adventures together etc but
Is there anyone in your life you really look forward to seeing for what ever reason and what sort of actions do you take to stay 'in sync' or connected with them that are fulfilling for both of you.
If you stopped would you feel truly deeply alone or still somewhat self contained? And how does that make you feel
Do you think seeking connection will become more important to you with time or are you fixed in this placeclick to expand
Posted by Soulš¤ one of the best dang stones sittin thoPosted by wagtailI feel like I will forever be stuck in the middle, till an outside force is strong enough to move me. Really its not even that hard to do. I'm kind of easy to control, but people see me as the opposite. Till then I'm fine sitting right here like a stone.Posted by SoulIf there was anything about this you could change what would it be?Posted by wagtailI can't really say I look forward to seeing anyone. I guess people I haven't seen in a long time would be the only case. As for actions I really don't do anything. I just instantly sync with the people I chose to hang around. It's likely because I only pick people to keep in my life I already know I sync with. I don't really give random people chances. We either sync, or we don't. I instantly know which one it is. Because of that I always find myself surrounded with people I already have deep connections with. I cut my ties off with people all the time. I ghost like I'm getting paid, and really can't change that. Yet the people close to me still stick around. I honestly don't know why. To be honest I can't tell you how being truly alone would make me feel, because no matter how hard I've tried to isolate myself the connections with the people around me make it impossible.Posted by Soul
Imo going on adventures together. Exploring uncharted territory, and discovering new things together. Like companions on a mission to see life in a new way. To experience things you never though you would. Those memories create a strong bond, and make people more then just a couple.
I feel like simple day to day connections with people is boring and lacks depth. That's likely why I do everything solo and find myself deep inside my thoughts. It would be nice to find someone I could relate with and get lost somewhere within the web of roads though.
I like this answer because I feel like personally I can relate to the seeking experiences thing, collecting adventures together etc but
Is there anyone in your life you really look forward to seeing for what ever reason and what sort of actions do you take to stay 'in sync' or connected with them that are fulfilling for both of you.
If you stopped would you feel truly deeply alone or still somewhat self contained? And how does that make you feel
Do you think seeking connection will become more important to you with time or are you fixed in this place
click to expand
I want more practical and insightful answers peeps
All potato welcome
All potato welcome
Posted by wagtailGood topic, especially in the age of social media.
I wanna know HOW you create and maintain 'connections'
Not talking about how it feels, not talking about flicking someone a text or liking pics on IG
I want to know WHAT you do to CREATE or SUSTAIN an emotional and meaningful relationship with someone that is on your mind.
Spill š¹
Please and thank y'all
For me this is quite simple, just be present and attentive. Find activities you both enjoy doing and participate together.
Alone time should be about the two of you. No perusing social media sites to fill in silences. Someone mentioned eye gazing. I like to add, touching, massages, just being affectionate
Put your best effort forward like you would during the initial stages of dating.
This should be easy for you.. your a Leo. All the Leoās i know, when they are not teasing and being overly playful, they are very attentive and caring towards their loved ones. Not just to their romantic partners, friends and family too.
Posted by Distilledvery nicePosted by SupesThis whole thread is.Posted by DistilledThat was beautiful
I let them talk. I talk TO them.
I listen TO them.
I let them know how I feel. Even when they are wrong. This may seem selfish, but I just know when they want to hear something that they can't say themselves.
They need someone to validate them. So I do that.
I forgive them.
I touch them.
I smile and laugh with them.
I cry for them.
I create a safe haven and don't betray them. They can count on me, when they feel there is no one else. Even if they haven't returned that. (Not to be consumed with being dumb here).
I anticipate their needs. Like their favorite food, when they've had a rough day, when they want to be alone, stuff like that.
I get them out to do what they love to do, and do it with them, or just watch.
I love them.
š
click to expand
Posted by wagtailPosted by Whorpio
It might be awkward to change back because they might think youāre manipulating them or kissing their ass. Gotta genuinely change back and let it be known youāre doing it to save the relationship Iād say.
Outside of a 'romantic relationship' has this ever been your experience with friends or family too?
Is it more or less important because of thatclick to expand
I aināt never had friends/family say Iāve changed. I donāt think it would be anymore important. You canāt help what you do and since I donāt live with them itās hard to change because itās not like Iād be effecting them on a daily basis.
From my experience?
Just people I click with naturally, we could go months or years without speaking but when do speak or meet, the connection is still there. There are certain people you will always naturally click with, and unfortunately not click with.
Just people I click with naturally, we could go months or years without speaking but when do speak or meet, the connection is still there. There are certain people you will always naturally click with, and unfortunately not click with.
Posted by TaniwhaIs it something you've thought about before?
idk
Posted by wagtailSorry for delayed response, I was sleeping then been at work today šPosted by justagirlSo in one way you create a space you can both go into that allows for communication without confrontation.
Spend time with them, share experiences i've been through, listen to theirs, try to be there for them as much as i can, sometimes that isn't enough, so i will try to make sure to set aside time just for them. Communicate with them, exchange of ideals, goals, dreams. Be supportive, even if i don't necessarily agree with everything, listen to understand not just be heard.
When you exchange ideas or opinions do you feel it builds a connection or does it take you in seperate directions that somehow meet up down the line?click to expand
I try to, doesn't always work, some stuff is confrontations no matter what or how you approach it. But yes I try to do that.
I find for me and those I have done this with it builds the connection. I do have life long friends that we have sort of faded in and out of each others lives depending on life stuff, but we always reconnect, which I find is due to the original connections established. Occasionally though, even after building connections, things can happen when life goals or outlooks can take us in different directions. I get sad when this happens, but I also understand people change and grow at all times, or at least I hope they do, and if there is no change that usually means no growth. Does that help answer what you are asking ? š
Posted by CreativeCapWith all of that said and it's very true, what about when required to balance outside influences.Posted by wagtailGood topic, especially in the age of social media.
I wanna know HOW you create and maintain 'connections'
Not talking about how it feels, not talking about flicking someone a text or liking pics on IG
I want to know WHAT you do to CREATE or SUSTAIN an emotional and meaningful relationship with someone that is on your mind.
Spill š¹
Please and thank y'all
For me this is quite simple, just be present and attentive. Find activities you both enjoy doing and participate together.
Alone time should be about the two of you. No perusing social media sites to fill in silences. Someone mentioned eye gazing. I like to add, touching, massages, just being affectionate
Put your best effort forward like you would during the initial stages of dating.
This should be easy for you.. your a Leo. All the Leoās i know, when they are not teasing and being overly playful, they are very attentive and caring towards their loved ones. Not just to their romantic partners, friends and family too.
click to expand
When, so to speak, is it okay to 'drop the ball' and cut back - after a long day? When work has been particularly hard?
If there was one small thing you could do every time regardless what would it be
Posted by Caramel_PrincessDo you think being vulnerable is an essential part of this or can this happen while there are still walls up
You sustain it when you both shed the outer skin and you reach deep down, you share things you donāt share with others, and they do the same to you. You can just take a walk and talk, or lay in bed holding each other and talk, in the bath tub or even on the phone with no distractions around and when you both have enough free time to talk.
That strong human connection can only happen in a place with no resistance.
If you have a connection, it doesnāt go away once itās actually there, you canāt force it to exist and you canāt undo it once itās here but you can sustain it. You know how people come together after years apart and feel like nothing has changed? This is exactly that.
Posted by oxSunQueenxoI'm at a point personally where I definitely feel like banning devices in my relationship.Posted by CreativeCapYes, put the social media/communication devices away when spending time with each other. Nobody does that anymore these days and it completely destroys the efforts made to connect past surface level.Posted by wagtailGood topic, especially in the age of social media.
I wanna know HOW you create and maintain 'connections'
Not talking about how it feels, not talking about flicking someone a text or liking pics on IG
I want to know WHAT you do to CREATE or SUSTAIN an emotional and meaningful relationship with someone that is on your mind.
Spill š¹
Please and thank y'all
For me this is quite simple, just be present and attentive. Find activities you both enjoy doing and participate together.
Alone time should be about the two of you. No perusing social media sites to fill in silences. Someone mentioned eye gazing. I like to add, touching, massages, just being affectionate
Put your best effort forward like you would during the initial stages of dating.
This should be easy for you.. your a Leo. All the Leoās i know, when they are not teasing and being overly playful, they are very attentive and caring towards their loved ones. Not just to their romantic partners, friends and family too.
And eye contact is very important too. I have a hard time with that, though.click to expand
Not Dxp tho š
Posted by clownloyalDoes that worry you? Or is it something you've thought about before and are exploring in your own time and way?
I have no idea
Posted by Therealjane10Do you tend to focus only on those natural pathways with people or have you ever done something out of the ordinary to consciously create a connection with someone? Did it work? Why and if not why do you think that is
From my experience?
Just people I click with naturally, we could go months or years without speaking but when do speak or meet, the connection is still there. There are certain people you will always naturally click with, and unfortunately not click with.
Posted by justagirlOh yes that answers my question thanks Jag šPosted by wagtailSorry for delayed response, I was sleeping then been at work today šPosted by justagirlSo in one way you create a space you can both go into that allows for communication without confrontation.
Spend time with them, share experiences i've been through, listen to theirs, try to be there for them as much as i can, sometimes that isn't enough, so i will try to make sure to set aside time just for them. Communicate with them, exchange of ideals, goals, dreams. Be supportive, even if i don't necessarily agree with everything, listen to understand not just be heard.
When you exchange ideas or opinions do you feel it builds a connection or does it take you in seperate directions that somehow meet up down the line?
I try to, doesn't always work, some stuff is confrontations no matter what or how you approach it. But yes I try to do that.
I find for me and those I have done this with it builds the connection. I do have life long friends that we have sort of faded in and out of each others lives depending on life stuff, but we always reconnect, which I find is due to the original connections established. Occasionally though, even after building connections, things can happen when life goals or outlooks can take us in different directions. I get sad when this happens, but I also understand people change and grow at all times, or at least I hope they do, and if there is no change that usually means no growth. Does that help answer what you are asking ? šclick to expand
Posted by wagtailAnytime Tater šPosted by justagirlOh yes that answers my question thanks Jag šPosted by wagtailSorry for delayed response, I was sleeping then been at work today šPosted by justagirlSo in one way you create a space you can both go into that allows for communication without confrontation.
Spend time with them, share experiences i've been through, listen to theirs, try to be there for them as much as i can, sometimes that isn't enough, so i will try to make sure to set aside time just for them. Communicate with them, exchange of ideals, goals, dreams. Be supportive, even if i don't necessarily agree with everything, listen to understand not just be heard.
When you exchange ideas or opinions do you feel it builds a connection or does it take you in seperate directions that somehow meet up down the line?
I try to, doesn't always work, some stuff is confrontations no matter what or how you approach it. But yes I try to do that.
I find for me and those I have done this with it builds the connection. I do have life long friends that we have sort of faded in and out of each others lives depending on life stuff, but we always reconnect, which I find is due to the original connections established. Occasionally though, even after building connections, things can happen when life goals or outlooks can take us in different directions. I get sad when this happens, but I also understand people change and grow at all times, or at least I hope they do, and if there is no change that usually means no growth. Does that help answer what you are asking ? šclick to expand
Posted by clownloyalVery relatablePosted by wagtaili think after falling in love and being forced to fall out i have tough time trying to connectPosted by clownloyalDoes that worry you? Or is it something you've thought about before and are exploring in your own time and way?
I have no ideaclick to expand
If someone came to you and wanted to establish something would you be open to that or are you afraid the amount of work they'd need to put in to do so might scare them off
Posted by clownloyalSo, maybe I've learned something here.Posted by wagtaili'd be open but it will be really difficult for me to just give in, I don't trust myself anymorePosted by clownloyalVery relatablePosted by wagtaili think after falling in love and being forced to fall out i have tough time trying to connectPosted by clownloyalDoes that worry you? Or is it something you've thought about before and are exploring in your own time and way?
I have no idea
If someone came to you and wanted to establish something would you be open to that or are you afraid the amount of work they'd need to put in to do so might scare them off
click to expand
Trusting yourself is just as important in connecting with others as everything else discussed in this thread.
Do you think this will ever change for you?
Posted by clownloyalCall me crazy but I have a feeling it will happen for you xPosted by wagtailPosted by clownloyalSo, maybe I've learned something here.Posted by wagtaili'd be open but it will be really difficult for me to just give in, I don't trust myself anymorePosted by clownloyalVery relatablePosted by wagtaili think after falling in love and being forced to fall out i have tough time trying to connectPosted by clownloyalDoes that worry you? Or is it something you've thought about before and are exploring in your own time and way?
I have no idea
If someone came to you and wanted to establish something would you be open to that or are you afraid the amount of work they'd need to put in to do so might scare them off
Trusting yourself is just as important in connecting with others as everything else discussed in this thread.
Do you think this will ever change for you?
idk I think it will take time and a patient person to allow me to feel safe
click to expand
Posted by clownloyalš„Posted by wagtailyeah, you are crazyPosted by clownloyalCall me crazy but I have a feeling it will happen for you xPosted by wagtailPosted by clownloyalSo, maybe I've learned something here.Posted by wagtaili'd be open but it will be really difficult for me to just give in, I don't trust myself anymorePosted by clownloyalVery relatablePosted by wagtaili think after falling in love and being forced to fall out i have tough time trying to connectPosted by clownloyalDoes that worry you? Or is it something you've thought about before and are exploring in your own time and way?
I have no idea
If someone came to you and wanted to establish something would you be open to that or are you afraid the amount of work they'd need to put in to do so might scare them off
Trusting yourself is just as important in connecting with others as everything else discussed in this thread.
Do you think this will ever change for you?
idk I think it will take time and a patient person to allow me to feel safe
click to expand
Posted by clownloyalAlways potatoPosted by wagtailš potato?Posted by clownloyalš„Posted by wagtailyeah, you are crazyPosted by clownloyalCall me crazy but I have a feeling it will happen for you xPosted by wagtailPosted by clownloyalSo, maybe I've learned something here.Posted by wagtaili'd be open but it will be really difficult for me to just give in, I don't trust myself anymorePosted by clownloyalVery relatablePosted by wagtaili think after falling in love and being forced to fall out i have tough time trying to connectPosted by clownloyalDoes that worry you? Or is it something you've thought about before and are exploring in your own time and way?
I have no idea
If someone came to you and wanted to establish something would you be open to that or are you afraid the amount of work they'd need to put in to do so might scare them off
Trusting yourself is just as important in connecting with others as everything else discussed in this thread.
Do you think this will ever change for you?
idk I think it will take time and a patient person to allow me to feel safe
click to expand
Posted by wagtailMy longest relationships/friendships/connectedāships/ were with people who came to me first and liked me despite of my flaws.Posted by Therealjane10Do you tend to focus only on those natural pathways with people or have you ever done something out of the ordinary to consciously create a connection with someone? Did it work? Why and if not why do you think that is
From my experience?
Just people I click with naturally, we could go months or years without speaking but when do speak or meet, the connection is still there. There are certain people you will always naturally click with, and unfortunately not click with.click to expand
The relationships with who I actively sought out, and tried my hardest to befriend, and tried my hardest to get them to like me or love me, didnāt last.
So now I let people come to me. If you like me, thatās fine.
If you donāt like me, thatās fine too.
You just tell him you love his face and his dick and you think he is the one but you donāt have to marry him! You just love him for his personal qualities!
If he says nothing in return - you fucked up baby! Sorry!
If he says nothing in return - you fucked up baby! Sorry!
Posted by GemitatiThat's definitely a unique approach haha
You just tell him you love his face and his dick and you think he is the one but you donāt have to marry him! You just love him for his personal qualities!
If he says nothing in return - you fucked up baby! Sorry!
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In your honest opinion?
Not talking about how it feels, not talking about flicking someone a text or liking pics on IG
I want to know WHAT you do to CREATE or SUSTAIN an emotional and meaningful relationship with someone that is on your mind.
Spill š¹
Please and thank y'all