Dating

Hi it's been a very long time since i have been on a date, so i'm out of practice. Anyway i went on a date with this guy, it was great, the conversation flowed, joking laughing, touching it was all there. However at the end of the date we said our goodbyes and he said see you soon. He texted that night to find out if i made it home ok, and he has been texting me everyday since. The problem, there has been no mention or hint of a second date. My question is, is an invitation coming or what is the deal. Is he interested or isn't he, i'm very confused.

There may not be a second date because you are too available! Why ask you out when he can text and text and text and tie up your precious time. Try this, try not answering his text messages, encourage him to call by not being so available because you don't want to get to know him through texting then stop being there when he show up, minimize how much you say, if you're revealing things about yourself then stop it, try making the text one line and maybe a 6 words or less and don't text back and forth for hours, 3 text minimum. Why? If you're texting all day then you are not out dating, your behavior sends a nonverbal message to a man that you have NOTHING going on in your life or why else would you settle for texting versus actual dating.

Stop enabling his laziness and go out on another date with someone else, forget about a man that's not asking you out on a second date, any guy that relegates you to a text based relationship is full of sh*t and doesn't want anything.

Next text, don't answer, just go do your life and don't worry about a text message, that's not what you want so don't show up for it, the only reason why you'd continue to be his text message buddy is b/c you don't believe you deserve better, if you feel you deserve more than what he's currently giving then go out and go date other guys until that one guy that does it all right comes into your life, don't waste time wondering why he's text messaging instead of calling and asking you out.

All you should be focused on is...He's not asking me out, I need to move on and not waste time allowing myself to get caught up in being his text message buddy.

My motto is, he can't do what he's doing if you don't show up for it, so don't show up for the text messages and he'll either move on or he'll pick it up and start calling and asking you out.

Thank you Tikki, you have helped me as well.
Your response is greatly appreciated. 🙂

Wow Tiki33, you are so right! Always find myself falling into this trap, but it's true. Well has it so happened he did eventually ask me out for a second date, but we'll see what happens. A part of me feels like this will probably be the last one, i'm not getting that feeling anymore. Oh well, it's a lesson learned.

Thanks for the love everyone, it's greatly appreciated.

Also remember T84, men don't want to appear too eager so they wait to ask for another date, stop putting yourself down as if you don't deserve a 3rd date, your issue is that you are too eager and that vibe will turn the men you date off, it's ENERGY, men stall on that kind of energy so your biggest issue is going to be developing a life that's so great, so busy full of things you are passionate about so you don't really have time to sit around wondering about what any one specific guy is doing b/c doing that turns you into a needy unattractive mess, MEN SENSE THIS, you think you are hiding all those icky, needy, unsure feelings but men sense those feelings and they either run or stall to slow you down.

It's just a suggestion but go date other men, so what they aren't your type blah blah blah and you don't feel a spark like you do with the other guy, GO DATE, you will learn how to slow down naturally when you have OPTIONS, right now you sort of act like crumb snatcher, will take the first guy you share chemistry with and take yourself off the market, DON'T DO THAT, just go have fun and stop worrying about the next date, the worrying and wondering is the worst vibe you can have b/c it repel men AWAY from you.

If you have a busy life and you don't allow any one guy to have a free parking spot in your mind then you keep your edge, you appear confident, men will naturally pick up your great vibe and want to go out with you.

So for now, forget about a 3rd date, go out and have a NEW FIRST DATE ADVENTURE with someone else, don't allow your mind to stay on any one particular guy or you'll grow needy and begin to feel desperate, as if your happiness is in that one guys hands, that is not how you get a relationship started.

And when I say "get a life" I am not talking about work/your job, the kids (if you have kids) family, I'm talking about A LIFE, the kind of life a man wants to be a part of. A life is family/kids/work but a life--getting a life is FUN, it's about dancing--belly dancing--samba--art---painting--writing---race car driving--hey some women are into that---playing poker---weekends out with the girls, A LIFE--FULL LIFE that's what you focus on, men come and they go and there is no need to worry about a date when you have them lining up and if you don't have them lining up then FOCUS ON THAT, focus on developing a fun passionate social life that keeps you happy and busy.

Thanks again tiki your advice was pretty helpful. Just an update on the situation turns out i was a placeholder. He asked me on the second date to tell me his ex is sort of back in his life and he wants to try again with her. So, there we go the answer was there from the beginning.
To anyone else in the same position heed tiki's advice, if he doesn't bother to call it's coz he's not that invested.