Divorce! Ladies please can you tell me how you asked your husband for u to? (Page 2)

Posted by Montgomery
Because I remember your story, and I'd hoped

that you weren't divorcing to be with that man.

His "partner" had also left her marriage to be

with him, because he pressured her to do so--

and when she did, he just moved on to his next

conquest-- You.

He has a clear pattern and he's patient... I would

bet money that there's already someone else.

(You didn't 'blow it'-- he seems to be a bit of a

con artist.)

So are you still wanting a divorce if he is no

longer an option?

That's what I'm trying to clarify.

Hi..Thank you for your response. When I said I blew it, I meant that me and him were getting back together again slowly and had told each that we only love our partners as friends.

However in January I turned 40 and 3 bad things happened to me between the day of it and the day after.. Nothing to do with him though, or my husband.

I was already very unhappy but hiding it. Hadn't seen this other guy very much for a while so when I finally saw him at gym, he was chatting to some people outside of the studio and glancing at me to get my attention. I totally ignored him the whole time. And I don't even know why!? I think it was some kind of attention-seeking on my part. Which is weird as I don't do that normally!

I think I was missing him very much and just didn't know how to be/behave around him anymore. So I went 'funny' around him hoping he'd come over. He did. And said 'are you okay? '

I just kept looking at the floor and shrugged. He then went into the studio to do the class.

I later messaged him saying that I wanted to look at him but was feeling low.

He messaged me back saying 'I get it. I'm not right for you.'

SHIT! I think he's very right for me.

Anyway. .to answer your question about divorce even if he is not an option..

Hmm. .well. I have good days and bad days on this subject.

Some days I feel positive and I think I'll be okay. I'll cope. Just me and my little girl. With me and (ex) husband sharing parenting.

Other days I feel like shit and sink into self-pity not knowing if I should divorce or not.

I just WISH I had divorced him when my little girl was about 6 months.

People here are Shaking their Heads!

ME? I'm SMACKING my forehead with the palm of my hand! Thinking 'I can't believe I'm in this mess! '

I've lost control of my life. I'm trying to get it back!

Posted by Montgomery


His "partner" had also left her marriage to be

with him, because he pressured her to do so--

and when she did, he just moved on to his next

conquest-- You.

He didn't pressure her to leave. She told me herself that she felt indifferent to her husband and when she saw this guy (that I am in love with), she thought ' OMG! ' and wanted him.

Just wanted to clarify x

Posted by Gemitati
I can totally relate to everything you are saying!

Even having adult kids it's insanely hard to make a decision of divorce because NOW when kids are having sex themselves - it's kind of strange to say 'mom wants to have sex with another man'...

Also I don't understand when people making financial issue as 'dirty' and not important like it shouldn't be matter!

I am feeling really uneasy knowing that my lover now if ever we are together - will have to support me pretty much though he once let me know he thinks that's how it's supposed to be and he doesn't mind.

Rather insists - but I wouldn't want that!

So in my cituation I am only different because I am annoyed by my husband.

However I feel sorry for him. I babied him too much and now leaving him seems like abandoning a child. So I am tippitoeing around this idea trying to see 'how do I say that'...rehearsing in my head daily!

Hoping maybe he will meet someone...

So I do understand how you 'all talk' because I am the same way.

Going in circles. Nursing an idea. Having no clue what to do. Sick and tired of being sick and tired...

But eventually we both are going to DO something...maybe it's not time yet.

I've read somewhere that man finally divorced his wife after 13 years! He said he lost these years because now hernia very happy. And I don't want that! I don't have 13 years to lose...do you?

Hi Gemitati. .

Thank you Soooo much for your response. I felt you really understood what I'm going through x

You sound a lot like me when you say you 'babied' your husband. Same here! Omg have I PANDERED to him! I even protected his potential heartbreak by not divorcing him.

He said he wanted babies with me. I didn't want them with him. I always found him childish/very immature therefore never saw a childish man as father material. And what do you know - I was right! He made me unhappy BEFORE I was even pregnant and wanted to leave. BUT I couldn't face breaking his heart. Couldn't face divorce - wasn't ready to leave anyway. SO I stayed and saved his hearbreak and gave him a baby!

I went too far! Try and save the marriage yes. See where things go yes. But to have a baby too when the marriage is still a mess? ? NOOOO!

But that is exactly what I did! Stupid f**king cow!

Back in 2012 when we'd only been married 2 1/2 years I was like you..tiptoeing around the idea of divorce. Rehearsing in my head what to say. I even remember telling myself 'Just say it! I want a divorce. No tiptoeing. JUST SAY IT! Then you can explain why after you've said it.'

Those were my rehearsed thoughts. But they never got said! ??

So angry with myself! It was just me and him and a mortgage! Easy! No kids!

I mean jesus christ! What do we do to ourselves? ?!? On the surface it seems so easy but deep down its very difficult!!

How long have you been in your marriage?

Do you have a lover? How long have you been with him?

Posted by pooface222

Posted by Gemitati
I can totally relate to everything you are saying!

Even having adult kids it's insanely hard to make a decision of divorce because NOW when kids are having sex themselves - it's kind of strange to say 'mom wants to have sex with another man'...

Also I don't understand when people making financial issue as 'dirty' and not important like it shouldn't be matter!

I am feeling really uneasy knowing that my lover now if ever we are together - will have to support me pretty much though he once let me know he thinks that's how it's supposed to be and he doesn't mind.

Rather insists - but I wouldn't want that!

So in my cituation I am only different because I am annoyed by my husband.

However I feel sorry for him. I babied him too much and now leaving him seems like abandoning a child. So I am tippitoeing around this idea trying to see 'how do I say that'...rehearsing in my head daily!

Hoping maybe he will meet someone...

So I do understand how you 'all talk' because I am the same way.

Going in circles. Nursing an idea. Having no clue what to do. Sick and tired of being sick and tired...

But eventually we both are going to DO something...maybe it's not time yet.

I've read somewhere that man finally divorced his wife after 13 years! He said he lost these years because now hernia very happy. And I don't want that! I don't have 13 years to lose...do you?

Hi Gemitati. .

Thank you Soooo much for your response. I felt you really understood what I'm going through x

You sound a lot like me when you say you 'babied' your husband. Same here! Omg have I PANDERED to him! I even protected his potential heartbreak by not divorcing him.

He said he wanted babies with me. I didn't want them with him. I always found him childish/very immature therefore never saw a childish man as father material. And what do you know - I was right! He made me unhappy BEFORE I was even pregnant and wanted to leave. BUT I couldn't face breaking his heart. Couldn't face divorce - wasn't ready to leave anyway. SO I stayed and saved his hearbreak and gave him a baby!

I went too far! Try and save the marriage yes. See where things go yes. But to have a baby too when the marriage is still a mess? ? NOOOO!

But that is exactly what I did! Stupid f**king cow!

Back in 2012 when we'd only been married 2 1/2 years I was like you..tiptoeing around the idea of divorce. Rehearsing in my head what to say. I even remember telling myself 'Just say it! I want a divorce. No tiptoeing. JUST SAY IT! Then you can explain why after you've said it.'

Those were my rehearsed thoughts. But they never got said! ??

So angry with myself! It was just me and him and a mortgage! Easy! No kids!

I mean jesus christ! What do we do to ourselves? ?!? On the surface it seems so easy but deep down its very difficult!!

How long have you been in your marriage?

Do you have a lover? How long have you been with him?

click to expand

I've pm you

Posted by Gemitati

Posted by pooface222

Posted by Gemitati
I can totally relate to everything you are saying!

Even having adult kids it's insanely hard to make a decision of divorce because NOW when kids are having sex themselves - it's kind of strange to say 'mom wants to have sex with another man'...

Also I don't understand when people making financial issue as 'dirty' and not important like it shouldn't be matter!

I am feeling really uneasy knowing that my lover now if ever we are together - will have to support me pretty much though he once let me know he thinks that's how it's supposed to be and he doesn't mind.

Rather insists - but I wouldn't want that!

So in my cituation I am only different because I am annoyed by my husband.

However I feel sorry for him. I babied him too much and now leaving him seems like abandoning a child. So I am tippitoeing around this idea trying to see 'how do I say that'...rehearsing in my head daily!

Hoping maybe he will meet someone...

So I do understand how you 'all talk' because I am the same way.

Going in circles. Nursing an idea. Having no clue what to do. Sick and tired of being sick and tired...

But eventually we both are going to DO something...maybe it's not time yet.

I've read somewhere that man finally divorced his wife after 13 years! He said he lost these years because now hernia very happy. And I don't want that! I don't have 13 years to lose...do you?

Hi Gemitati. .

Thank you Soooo much for your response. I felt you really understood what I'm going through x

You sound a lot like me when you say you 'babied' your husband. Same here! Omg have I PANDERED to him! I even protected his potential heartbreak by not divorcing him.

He said he wanted babies with me. I didn't want them with him. I always found him childish/very immature therefore never saw a childish man as father material. And what do you know - I was right! He made me unhappy BEFORE I was even pregnant and wanted to leave. BUT I couldn't face breaking his heart. Couldn't face divorce - wasn't ready to leave anyway. SO I stayed and saved his hearbreak and gave him a baby!

I went too far! Try and save the marriage yes. See where things go yes. But to have a baby too when the marriage is still a mess? ? NOOOO!

But that is exactly what I did! Stupid f**king cow!

Back in 2012 when we'd only been married 2 1/2 years I was like you..tiptoeing around the idea of divorce. Rehearsing in my head what to say. I even remember telling myself 'Just say it! I want a divorce. No tiptoeing. JUST SAY IT! Then you can explain why after you've said it.'

Those were my rehearsed thoughts. But they never got said! ??

So angry with myself! It was just me and him and a mortgage! Easy! No kids!

I mean jesus christ! What do we do to ourselves? ?!? On the surface it seems so easy but deep down its very difficult!!

How long have you been in your marriage?

Do you have a lover? How long have you been with him?

I've pm you

click to expand

Hi..Thanks so much x I'm try into open it but it won't open! ?I'm on my phone so I'm now fling to try and open your message on my laptop. .

Oops I meant *going to try and open it.

(Not 'fling')

Posted by Rindaroo

Posted by pooface222

Posted by Librajean
I'm going to go out on a limb and say...divorce should be a last resort. Try sincere counseling. Being a single parent is not a cake walk. And raising your child without its father for your own needs is a level of mom guilt you will soon discover. But try counseling first really put in a real effort before calling it quits.

My husband and I have discussed divorce etc and without going on to all the boring details, we went to an initial counselling session just to assess us both. And by the end of the hour my husband told the counsellor he wants to end the relationship. Typical of my weak -arse husband! He can't say it to my face but gets a counsellor to kind of do it for him! Hard to believe he's 38! 8 more like!

He has told me he wants access to daughter. And I guess I have to give it to him! Even though I don't want to.

But he also said - last year - that he would have to help me pay my mortgage Until such time I can afford to take over the payments myself!

I hope he still thinks this..

We have been sleeping in separate rooms for the last however many weeks AND taken our wedding rings off.

I just think our relationship is doomed if we stay together and doomed if we split!

Well divorce is hard, but it'll be okay. It sounds like that's what coming. Is your daughter the biggest issue why you've been staying together? Yes, he'll have rights unless you have a real reason why he shouldn't. Interesting that last sentence of yours..

click to expand

Hi again ..I think our daughter is the reason..I would hate to spend every other weekend without her ..x

Posted by lisabethur8
to be honest I don't think you are in a healthy place to be with anyone.

the types of men you attract are, I can't pinpoint it...they don't sound very healthy either

they seem to just allow you to do whatever it is you want to do.

Hi..

What do you mean by..'they seem to just allow you to do whatever it is you want to do.'?

I don't get what you mean.

I do attract a certain kind of man and its obsessive compulsive control freaks generally. So certainly not healthy types! My ex was the same but I won't go into that r'ship story as I can't be bothered and I don't care. I havent seen him for 17 years and hope I never see him again.

My ex didn't let me do what I want; he wanted me to do what HE wanted. same with my husband. The guy I'm in love with..well I've never lived with him so can't comment on what he's like day to day. He could be a control freak too! He's definitely obsessive though!

Private message sent to me:

I blocked you! Now Fuck Off!

from pooface222 sent on 2017-04-08 20:47:41

Just because you are a bitter and twisted old cow does not mean you have to turn it into an ART FORM!

-----------------



Considering you have claimed numerous times in the past that I am blocked ..... you obviously are so thirsty to hear what I have to say that you log out to read my comments.

Have the balls to spite out your venom to me in public. oh wait, you're a coward, so you go behind the bushes to throw your darts.

Posted by pooface222
This sounds like a Stupid question! I know!

But. .I am very unhappy in my marriage and should have left 4 years ago. Instead I stayed and had a child because I was scared of divorce and scared of the unknown.

Now..I am still scared but now I have a little girl of 2 1/2.

Quite frankly I hate my husband! And I haven't felt loved by him for about 5 years. And we've only been married 7 years.

Anyway I dont trust my husband either. Not because he has cheated - not to my knowledge anyway - but because he has a way of twisting things when the going gets tough. I am not like this. I tell it straight.

Therefore asking him for a divorce will likely cause him to turn nasty. We've been fighting for the last 2 years and we have lost respect for each other and have started doing stuff like going out shopping without even saying 'I'm going out now'.

I just wondered ladies what your experiences are if asking your husband for a divorce, how you found the courage and how you survived.

I am 40 in 2 weeks time and I just can't face going into my 40's feeling like this!

Thank you in advance. .

If you do leave him, I warn you that it's not going to be easy to find the guy you want. And if you do find the guy you want, he is most likely having other women, or he might be lacking in certain departments so you'll have to make compromises as to what you want because the things just aren't the same anymore TBH. I wish you the best of luck.

Posted by VenusStellium7

Posted by pooface222
This sounds like a Stupid question! I know!

But. .I am very unhappy in my marriage and should have left 4 years ago. Instead I stayed and had a child because I was scared of divorce and scared of the unknown.

Now..I am still scared but now I have a little girl of 2 1/2.

Quite frankly I hate my husband! And I haven't felt loved by him for about 5 years. And we've only been married 7 years.

Anyway I dont trust my husband either. Not because he has cheated - not to my knowledge anyway - but because he has a way of twisting things when the going gets tough. I am not like this. I tell it straight.

Therefore asking him for a divorce will likely cause him to turn nasty. We've been fighting for the last 2 years and we have lost respect for each other and have started doing stuff like going out shopping without even saying 'I'm going out now'.

I just wondered ladies what your experiences are if asking your husband for a divorce, how you found the courage and how you survived.

I am 40 in 2 weeks time and I just can't face going into my 40's feeling like this!

Thank you in advance. .

If you do leave him, I warn you that it's not going to be easy to find the guy you want. And if you do find the guy you want, he is most likely having other women, or he might be lacking in certain departments so you'll have to make compromises as to what you want because the things just aren't the same anymore TBH. I wish you the best of luck.

click to expand

This was 9 years ago lol

gotdamn

so much projection in 1 thread

Its crazy to view some of these people's profiles and see their last post. Its like damn. You posted that and never came back, or died. Probably died. I wonder what my last post will be. I hope its not about masturbating or something. That would be pretty embarrassing. Actually now that I think about it, that would be pretty poetic. Hopefully I have the chance to make my last post a banger. Like a real mic drop rant or something. Also feel free to quote me on this, because I'll be dead and it wont matter. Unless we all die at the same time. If that's the case, fuck all of you. I hope you have a nice day. Or night. Whatever time it is. But really, gfy.

i always joke with my husband that if we ever get divorced, it'll look like this

She's been posting for years after this.She's crazy.

She was arrested for beating her husband I think and she still blames him.

She was then posting all over the place about his new gf and sad and wanting him back.

She got what she wanted, which is a divorce, and she's still miserable.