feeling lonely, not sure what to do

today i got in a fight with my bf and it really wasn't anything i did but a remark that i made that he didnt like which was being "scared" by his supposedly violent tendencies although i said it in a joking manner . he deleted me and said 'lets break up". he says this alot and everytime he deletes me off, and i always add him back. he always tells me that he loves me but today when he asked if i love him, i answered with "ofcourse" and when i asked back he said "no, we'll talk about it tommorrow"

i guess feelings were hurt, and he apologized when i cried. he said he loved me and that i'm his and he's my boyfriend etc. even though he said that i just couldn't really get over it he said that he said it to hurt me on purpose. why would he leave a beautiful girl like me and i just replied "maybe you'll be happier with someone who isn't as jealous and someone who doesnt cause problems" (he says i cause problems and jealousy is an issue on my side). he said he'll make me happier tomorrow

it kind of hurt and it kind of reminded me of my past relationships, i couldn't sleep because i kept seeing my ex in my head. something about this brings bad memories. tbh i think i've always been lonely, never really the happy type. he says he wants me to be happy even when i'm by myself but i realized even before ever getting into a relationship i've never been a happy person. to be a happy person meant to put on a mask and being fake

Posted by Araujo97

Do you *legitimately* love this guy or just cant stand being single?

tbh i really did love him or at least that how it felt

I think you need to move on. I know it hurts but it's mind games. It will never stop. If you rhunk he is abusive in some shape or form then you feel that. It's not worth it any more and won't make you feel secure. You deserve better.

move on. for his sake if nothing else.

" Something about this brings bad memories."

That's NO coincidence.

You have CLEAR signs that this dude isn't RIGHT FOR YOU, yet all you're focused on is your loneliness. SMH. I'm sick of you weak women ALLOWING the mistreatment band then CRYING on social media as if we can SAVE YOU.

Save your gotdamn SELF by LEARNING to walk away.

Posted by Gobby

Children, please behave yourselves and grow-up...

One day you'll be such a great dad 😘

Your carrying baggage from your old relationship into this one. Is that fair to him? Prolly not. But then again we all have baggage. Its how we deal with it that determines whether we continue the cycle and accumulate more.

You should tell him what you've told us "it kind of hurt and it kind of reminded me of my past relationships, i couldn't sleep because i kept seeing my ex in my head. something about this brings bad memories." Maybe if he understands your past hurt he will be more mindful in how he communicates with you when he's angry so as to avoid your triggers.

And for what its worth when angry, people often say things they don't mean. So forgive him if you can and find a way to communicate better so that when angry you both don't aim to damage each other.

i'm the only one allowed to act irrational in my relationships

so this never happens to me

This does sound unhealthy. It sounds like you have no confidence in yourself and it sounds like he isn’t helping, or may even be making things worse. I know we all say things we don’t mean once in a while and it shouldn’t be a big deal, but this sounds like you said what your heart felt and then it dragged out. He said what his heart felt and then felt guilty when you cried and he tried to back track. I could be completely wrong here, but I think you need to accept he doesn’t love you and that he won’t love you, and for this reason you should move on.. and find someone who does make you feel strong about yourself. It’s so difficult to do and I don’t think you will actually do it. I think your relationship will drag out a little more and you’ll waste more time with him. But I hope I’m wrong for your sake. You need to make a big change with yourself and see how you feel then, do a new hobby completely separate from him, meet new people and see how he reacts then, see how you feel then. It needs to be something fairly significant to jump start your confidence.

Posted by AriesJo

This does sound unhealthy. It sounds like you have no confidence in yourself and it sounds like he isn’t helping, or may even be making things worse. I know we all say things we don’t mean once in a while and it shouldn’t be a big deal, but this sounds like you said what your heart felt and then it dragged out. He said what his heart felt and then felt guilty when you cried and he tried to back track. I could be completely wrong here, but I think you need to accept he doesn’t love you and that he won’t love you, and for this reason you should move on.. and find someone who does make you feel strong about yourself. It’s so difficult to do and I don’t think you will actually do it. I think your relationship will drag out a little more and you’ll waste more time with him. But I hope I’m wrong for your sake. You need to make a big change with yourself and see how you feel then, do a new hobby completely separate from him, meet new people and see how he reacts then, see how you feel then. It needs to be something fairly significant to jump start your confidence.

he said it intentionally to hurt me because i made him angry or something, i shouldnt have reacted in that way. he tried to show how cruel he can be , he has an uncontrollable and silent temper. he said about the stuff he has done to people and it seemed like he was trying to make a point like "why do you love me so much? im not a good person". i believe he felt guilty but the words still linger in my mind. he still calls me everyday and tells me he loves me

it felt pretty bad but im focusing on keeping myself happy, it was pretty uncalled for. i have stuff to do to keep my mind off people and what they think. thanks for your input

Your relationship sounds very immature.

The sooner you accept and realize that love and relationships aren't something you *need* the happier you'll be.

You can survive being single for awhile believe it or not. Relationships should be considered precious but if you're starved for that connection you're bound to keep getting hurt.

Marry me asap

Posted by leooox

Posted by AriesJo

This does sound unhealthy. It sounds like you have no confidence in yourself and it sounds like he isn’t helping, or may even be making things worse. I know we all say things we don’t mean once in a while and it shouldn’t be a big deal, but this sounds like you said what your heart felt and then it dragged out. He said what his heart felt and then felt guilty when you cried and he tried to back track. I could be completely wrong here, but I think you need to accept he doesn’t love you and that he won’t love you, and for this reason you should move on.. and find someone who does make you feel strong about yourself. It’s so difficult to do and I don’t think you will actually do it. I think your relationship will drag out a little more and you’ll waste more time with him. But I hope I’m wrong for your sake. You need to make a big change with yourself and see how you feel then, do a new hobby completely separate from him, meet new people and see how he reacts then, see how you feel then. It needs to be something fairly significant to jump start your confidence.

he said it intentionally to hurt me because i made him angry or something, i shouldnt have reacted in that way. he tried to show how cruel he can be , he has an uncontrollable and silent temper. he said about the stuff he has done to people and it seemed like he was trying to make a point like "why do you love me so much? im not a good person". i believe he felt guilty but the words still linger in my mind. he still calls me everyday and tells me he loves me

it felt pretty bad but im focusing on keeping myself happy, it was pretty uncalled for. i have stuff to do to keep my mind off people and what they think. thanks for your input

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Okay, so he did that tit for tat shit it sounds like. You get him angry and he gets you angry just because. That's the worse love to have then any man going off that trait.