Hmmmm..... let's see how this one pans out.....

I've been talking to a Cancer/Leo Cusper now for about three months. Our emotional connection is amazing. Our first conversation lasted 4 hours and we havent missed a day of talking to one another since. We never run out of anything to talk about, we keep each other laughing hysterically, we have the same interests in physical fitness and many other things. We never hold back what's on our minds. He's extremely mature and spiritual and has his crap together (works for a fortune 100 company and is financially solid). He is however, a self admitted comittment phobe but really wants to settle down and find someone to spend his life with (he's 44). He isnt dating for the sake of dating anymore, but is extremely cautious. It took him this long to agree to finally meet so he will be here to see me tomorrow. This is a big step for him and Im going in without any expectations because no matter what, we will always at least be amazing friends. He has changed my outlook on relationships and how I've been doing things. It's funny though, we act as if we are dating already and we've both admitted this. His fear of commitment leaves us not defining anything (plus we havent met yet) but he doesnt even go to bed at night without calling to tell me. He is the first person I call when ANYTHING happens in my life regardless of the importance of it (small or large). The funny thing is, I feel completely fulfilled in this relationship (even devoid of physical presence) and Ive done long distance before and never quite felt that. I never feel like he is not with me. Like I said though, if sparks dont fly when we meet, he will always hold a special place in my soul just for the things we discuss and share.

I know that Cancer's are supposed to be very moody but he isn't AT ALL! Maybe its because he is a Leo cusp? Anyway, here are our charts:

ME/HIM

Sun: Leo(on Virgo cusp)/Cancer (on Leo Cusp)
Moon: Leo/Aries
Merc: Virgo/Leo
Venus: Leo/Leo
Mars: Aqua/Libra
Jup: Scorp/Gem
Sat: Gem/Pisces
Uranus: Libra/Virgo
Nep: Sag/Scorp
Pluto: Virgo/Virgo
Asc: Aqua/—

I wonder if this can work? I know Bella will give me some input on reading the chart. I did a compatibility match and out of 11 aspects, 10 were positive. Thats the most compatible chart I've had with anyone yet.

Hmmmmm.............. we shall see.....

Yay 😄

I've heard good things about cuspers getting together. Plus, all your placements look pretty compatible.
Hope he turns out to be just as sexy in person!

It's Busty DeLusty!!! LMAO!!!

Hi Bri!!! I know I hope so too. Although, I know what he looks like and Im attracted to him. But you never know until you meet in person!

Whats new with you—??

The very BEST of luck LeoLady. —

Lol. Double-Deeeez wutwut 😛



Not a thing. 🙂 Playing games with a leo and whining about it on DXP...
Which btw, me & him have the same kind of compatibility. I'm confused how two people can be so compatible and so confused and uncertain about each other. BUT I'm sure it will be better for you since you are both more mature.

LOL! Sag/Leo = great chemistry for sure. You know the story with my Sag a few months back.

I did read your thread a few days back. I will have to get back over there and catch up.

Posted by Lauren89
I see a bit of a red flag for me there:

"He is however, a self admitted comittment phobe but really wants to settle down and find someone to spend his life with (he's 44). He isnt dating for the sake of dating anymore, but is extremely cautious."

A commitment phobe that is 44 and still haven't got over it might still have some habits you need to take care of before you jump in with your full heart.

I would say I wish you all the best luck but take things slow with this guy and enjoy each stage as much as you can 😉

Trust me, I agree. Red flag for sure and Ive even told him that. Im not jumping in fully just yet. Im very comfortable with how things are right now. He admits that this has always been an issue for him, but really wants to change that. I admire his honesty about it and am glad that we can actually discuss it.

You know they say that actions speak louder than words and in this case Im going with actions. We dont really talk too much about how things are progressing, its odd because I dont think we have felt the NEED to. We are just going with it and its going smoothly. We have already discussed moving slowly and agreed to keeping our first meeting very simple. Who knows anyway, there may not even be any sparks to worry about igniting the fire! But I sorta doubt it! LOL!

Thanks SV. Im going to check those links out now!

Hahaha! I read all of those and he doesnt fit any of the signs!

There is a lot more to our story but WAY too much to get into here. Personally, I dont really even think he is a commitment phobe, I think it may just be a crutch until he finds the right person. Who knows!! He has had long term relationships in the past and been engaged once before, but it didnt work out. He really wants to be married and is ready to find the right person, but like me, he wants to make sure its right. Im okay with that. Im not in any hurry. Im perfectly satisfied doing what Im doing right now.

Ew.... I dont even wanna talk about marriage anyway! How did we get here!— LOL!!

Posted by Madalena
"I did a compatibility match and out of 11 aspects, 10 were positive. "

are u saying all your aspects are trines and sextiles and u have no oppositions or squares? if that's the case it's not gonna go anywhere beyond friendship...and if saturn isnt in hard aspect (conjunct, square or opposition) to sun or moon in either chart, chances of it lasting long are pretty slim

my astrological $ 0.02

good luck

No, thats not what I am saying. I dont know a whole lot about all that, but we do have trines and sextiles and oppositions and squares, what I meant was upon each aspect ti was either reported as a positive or negative aspect for each and 10 out of 11 were all reported as positive whether they were conjunct, sextile, square, trine or opposing.

Make sense?

IDK! LOL!

It always start of like this with most commitment phobic men, I mean it never fails he gets a woman all vulnerable only to run like the wind....Women have to understand slooooooooow, very slow, don't let an admitted commitment phobic man have you all at once emotionally, once he's conquered and reaffirmed his manhood he's out of there....I see a few mistakes in how you dealt with this guy, he's a catch, he know he's a catch, you have to catch at the backdoor, meaning back him into commitment without him knowing he's actually going in that direction.

If he say he has issues with commitment "BELIEVE HIM" get out of the clouds, gosh these men have a way of picking women that drift into la la land so easily....Get focused, really focused and logical or this won't last too long and the best part is NOW, later is when all the commitment issues and confusion will surface. He's giving you a head start, he's been transparent with you like most CP men are by telling you a hard truth and if you don't know how to logically understand his issue on a deeper level you will forget he actually has these issues and begin to expect a normal man/normal relationship and he's far from normal, he's most likely alpha and extraordinary in his every day life. He's full on now, most of them always are, the moment he senses your attachment on a deep level he's out of there...hot and cold, yes and no, in and out....It's coming

Red flags all over the place...

Omg. Lol.
She just started talking to him....she said she's taking it slow, not getting invested, just is interested to see where it goes...
She's attracted. Period.







do your thing girl 😉 ♥

LOL Yes, she's just going to meet a fellow she gets along with, not humming "Flaws and All" and picking out a wedding gown.
Get down wif' yo' bad ass LL.

VB and BriN u hit the nail on the head. I may not even like his big dumb ass when I meet him! But thanks for all the advice. I'm going in w eyes wide open but he's not even close to getting a piece of the heart yet. He actually thinks I'm the player here and he would e a little right. But we shall see. We r just having fun.

Okay I see your points.. I guess I READ your first post wrong, it seemed like she was moving pretty fast emotionally per the statements she was disclosing about the interactions between the 2 of them and the statement about her not believing he was commitment phobic well I guess that threw me off a bit, seem like denial...I can be dead wrong about what I sense per her post and hopefully she likes his big dumb ass and has a great dating experience with him....slow is good

No you're spot on as usual Tiki...you see through alot of what others cant and dont want to hear!

Good luck LL, heed the warning though 🙂

LOL Ian.

Good luck LL, I'll be curious to see how this plays out. Keep your eyes and ears open. There is a fable that I recant to myself almost on a weekly basis.
(paraphrasing)"One day a man found a snake that had been wounded. He took the snake home and nursed it to health. Upon getting healthy the snake turned around and bit the man. The man asked the snake, 'How an you bite me after I took you into my home, nursed you to health and kept you safe?' The snake replied, 'You knew I was a snake when you found me." Not saying the guy is a snake at all, but men usually say what they mean and mean what they say...not always, but most often.

But with that being said LeoLady, I would take what I say with a grain of salt, because I am highly jaded 🙂

🙂

LOL! Thanks everybody. The meeting went well. He decided to come over Friday evening instead. We had a great time together and there is definitely a connection. We havent made any further plans, we are just taking things as they come. Had some really great conversations about some things upon his return home and Im curious as to how things will develop. I want to keep this one simple and move very slowly. My caution flags are flying and Im not getting too emotionally wrapped in this one yet. I made that decision this weekend. He brought up the whole relationship and commitment thing again and I simply asked him why he kept bringing that up? That I hadnt asked him for a commitment, nor did I want one from him and Id appreciate it if he would just understand that Im taking things for what they are each day and for him to do the same. He agreed. And the hard truth is, Im not ready to take that step either. Im good with it being just what it is and seeing what may happen, which could likely be nothing. Who knows.

Posted by tiki33
Okay I see your points.. I guess I READ your first post wrong, it seemed like she was moving pretty fast emotionally per the statements she was disclosing about the interactions between the 2 of them and the statement about her not believing he was commitment phobic well I guess that threw me off a bit, seem like denial...I can be dead wrong about what I sense per her post and hopefully she likes his big dumb ass and has a great dating experience with him....slow is good

LOL Tiki. Well I did like his big dumb ass, but I DO believe that he is committment issues, without a doubt. Im not denying that he has those issues. I havent disclosed our whole story here either and tbh, I wont because there are a lot of personal issues that I dont care to debate on DXP. Trust me though, I AM HEEDING the warnings and I know that if I move into this too quickly, I only have myself to blame, so Im backing off a bit. Im about to be working an event for 4 days straight on 14 hour shifts so I wont be able to communicate with him much if any. I told him I needed some time and space from the situation in order to clearly think and process the events of the weekend and I got 9 phone calls yesterday, an email, and several text messages asking me not to give up on him. Ive made it clear that I dont expect nor want anything from him and he needed to chill out. Im taking this one snail like slow!

:/

I don't like the stalkerish emails and calls. Poo. I was (and am) pulling for you Leolady. I really hope you find love.

That being said Leolady Leo men are notorious at finding the loophole out of a relationship in the beginning even if they really, really want it. Once they accept defeat they are golden, just getting them to that point can be frustrating and anything can spook them.

Posted by little_sparrow
:/

I don't like the stalkerish emails and calls. Poo. I was (and am) pulling for you Leolady. I really hope you find love.

They werent stalkerish at all. We were actually having some really insightful conversations about some things. I didnt meant them to sound like that. Bad context I guess.

I leave for a couple of weeks and come back to this damn

^^lol. What a slap in the face right

sorry, bud. :/

LOL

Deets Lady, what is going on with the Crab? *leaning forward expectantly*

Posted by james tate
I leave for a couple of weeks and come back to this damn

Tate!!! Ive missed you. I had to preoccupy my time somehow while you were gone.

No worries, probly just a passing fancy anyhow. 😉

Posted by ianthefish
tate has been on the back burner for awhile now....

get used to it tate..

😉

Posted by venusianbull
Deets Lady, what is going on with the Crab? *leaning forward expectantly*

Well, I dont really know right now. I just got back from a five day event that I worked pretty much from sunrise to sunrise again the next day so we havent had much time to discuss things. Its moving along same as before. We interact as if we are dating, however it's not established nor defined. Im thinking of bring it up tonight as we agreed we would discuss things when I got back from my trip. Im torn between just "letting it be" and "walking away." I'll figure it out in due time I suppose. Whatever, thats kinda my feeling toward it all right now!

That works just fine. Go with your guts Lady, you're a woman grown. Of course, there's always the 'shit or get off the pot' approach. But that's not where it's at right now. It's just bouncing along, doing its own thing at the moment. 🙂
That's quite a schedule you've had. Pamper yourself, get a massage. You've completely earned it. And whatever your decision on bringing it up/not, go in big Leo fashion, guns blazing. Have a nice time this evening.

I may have to move to the states if she is a keeper.

Of course Im a keeper Tate!!!

Pack your bags and skip across the pond, Love!

Well, we talked last night and Ive decided to just let it be for now. I was a bit torn over it, but here are the facts:

We interact as if we are in a relationship. He is ALWAYS there for me when I call or text NO MATTER WHAT. He says he's not going anywhere and that he's very comfortable with me. Isn't going to date anyone and has no desire to lose contact with me. Makes himself accountable to me and texts me in the am, the pm and all throughout the day. We are completely open and honest with one another and confide in each other about EVERYTHING. The relationship is very mature.

I actually told him that I was considering walking away from the relationship in order to protect myself and he of course told me he would follow my lead on whatever I wanted to do, however he doesn't want that and couldnt imagine being without me in his life. He promises that he would NEVER NOT be there for me no matter what. So then I figured, what the hell..... Im not ready to lose him yet and he lives 400 miles away so whats the big deal. I have the freedom to do what I want to do. He has told me that he doesnt want me waiting on him while he sorts through his issues, to do as I please, so that's what Im gonna do.

There are a lot of other issues involved in this relationship that I havent disclosed so before everyone starts jumping on the "commitment phobe wagon" please know that Im not asking him for a commitment, nor do I feel that I need one from him. Its not even what is the main concern in this relationship. Its flowing well and we are very comfortable with it. To disclose some of the other issues briefly, they have to do with a terminal illness, spirituality and past addiction. Don't read too much into that last one... it's not to the extreme that it may sound. Its a very unique and complicated situation. He is very strong in his Faith and he and I are working through some of those differences. His relationship with God is very much the major issue here. Im not on the same level with that as he is and my seach for Faith is what actually ended up bringing us into contact with one another. Part of the reason I brushed off the CP issues were because they werent even the major factor here.

Anyway VB..... that's whats up!

I think it sounds lovely Lady, just as it stands. Very comforting and warm. 🙂 I won't launch into a novel here, but I am in quite a similar situation myself.

Posted by venusianbull
I think it sounds lovely Lady, just as it stands. Very comforting and warm. 🙂 I won't launch into a novel here, but I am in quite a similar situation myself.

You are!!!!?? Hmmm........ yeah, I was and still am very hesitant about disclosing everything here on DXP, only because it's very personal and complicated and I can foresee all of the controversial comments that would come. Its very hard to explain everything thats involved. I think the reason why I didnt get into the CP comments very much is because it isnt even the root of the major issues in the relationship nor is it my main concern. The funny thing is, his actions are that of a man in a relationship and they say actions speak louder than words, so Ive been rolling with it. He's such a beautiful man with a beautiful heart and soul. Probably one of the best Ive ever met. Ive resigned to the fact that he is in my life to fulfill a purpose regardless of what it may be and I know he always will be in some capacity. I dont know exactly what purpose may be, but the way we were brought together and all the things that I have been seeking in my life are just too ironic to ignore. Something big is happening here but Im not necessarily referring to my relationship with him.

"Ive resigned to the fact that he is in my life to fulfill a purpose regardless of what it may be and I know he always will be in some capacity. I dont know exactly what purpose may be, but the way we were brought together and all the things that I have been seeking in my life are just too ironic to ignore. Something big is happening here but Im not necessarily referring to my relationship with him."


🙂 ♥

I am. 🙂 We've been talking for going on two years now. Daily, almost round the clock. He... will not... claim me. *said through gritted teeth*. Probably feels he doesn't have too, it's just known. Irritating that, both of us stubborn as all hells. Both of us Taurus ( huge shock on the stubborn bit then, huh? ). But every day, we talk. Every day, we're there for each other. It's a very odd dynamic. I am his woman in a lot of ways, and flip that round for myself. As part of the breasted clan, I'd like words as well. LOL It truly is strange. It's hand in glove, like a marriage of sorts. No matter what I say, he's just there like an unmovable mountain. Very strong, very silent, and always directly in my line of vision. And I am the same for him. He has been there for every high, every low, my great sadness, and he met it with tears of his own and that unswerving presence. He keeps a picture of my girl in his flat, surrounded, spang in his lounge, so he can see her smile every day. We send pressies back and forth, remembering birthdays, Christmas, and 'just for the hell of it'. Music is shared, recipes swapped, days gone over. I give him virtual coffee every morning. And he brings to me troubles at work, his finances, his dreams. He knows me so well I don't even have to explain myself. Ever. He just knows. And it flows back. Words aren't even necessary. So, I have decided, quite firmly, that I am flying this autumn. To see where he is through his eyes. To meet his friends, his mother, cook for him, spoil him quite a lot, for an entire week. And we'll see where things wind up.

— to you Bri!!!!

OH VB!!!! YOU ARE IN A SIMILAR SITUATION!!!!!!

I got chill bumps just reading that! I could cut and past so much of what you wrote and claim it for myself. I understand completely where you are. Mine has only been 3 months now, but I swear we know almost everything about each other. He too has met me with tears of his own when I have expressed my personal trials and revelations. There is NOTHING that I cannot say or express to him and I never have to explain myself or make excuses for it. Why is it that we feel the need to hear the words? It doesnt make it any more real. Actions are what should matter, right? Im so happy for you that you are going to meet him. I will be praying for you!

*smiles* Whenever we butt heads a bit it's said; "Unmovable object meets unstoppable force."

And I, most definitely for you Lady. 🙂 Mah goo'ness, I think I have FIVE Leonine sisters. LOL Swear.

And yes! LOL Despite my wanting so dearly to hear the words, I really don't need them. He proves over and over again what he feels. So I try to kick that wonderful womanly desire straight to the curb.

Posted by venusianbull
And yes! LOL Despite my wanting so dearly to hear the words, I really don't need them. He proves over and over again what he feels. So I try to kick that wonderful womanly desire straight to the curb.

AMEN Sista!!! Im doing that as well. But like I said in my situation, Im not even sure what his purpose is in my life yet, it may be bigger than just a relationship. Like I said he is dealing with an illness and IDK if my purpose may even have something to do with that. You just never know! But, whatever it may be, he has opened my eyes to a lot of things and I cant ignore them.

That's right. Just have to go with the flow on this one. And WE RIDE. 🙂

We should be doing this over a lovely shrimp salad and a glass of white wine. Could compare notes, bwahahahaa, they'd never know! 😛