How Did You Know?

It seems like most of my relationships start off the same way...we meet, have a connection, see each other more and more, I have a "this one is not like the rest. He's different" thought, we make it official or we don't, I start to show interest, he shows less interest, one of us (usually me) ends it.

How do you know when it's the real deal? I'm talking to someone now, and he seems great. But, don't they always in the beginning?

What I find most women do, is rush things, or give way too much importance to who texts/calls who more. That the man is required to do everything first, and the most to show interest. That she can hang back, and only receive.

It's almost as if, a good majority of women don't think the men can have feelings too, as if they can't have their own insecurities as well for whatever reason.

It's a two way street. Give what you expect to receive. Most of the time, once a man or female learn to do that, is when all of their relationships, romantic or not, become quality ones that usually go into long term.

Posted by xkraft
If men put in some effort without any responses, they will move on to the next one. Eventually, one will be like "fannypacks are so alpha, especially yours"

Posted by RooSagicorn
The real deal is when it continues on with both people making effort, wanting to be there. Not wanting to be other places, with other people.

It’s pretty simple really. Next thing you know you can’t imagine being apart, you get married and have kids.

Been there. He was the worst of all!

Posted by nikkistar
What I find most women do, is rush things, or give way too much importance to who texts/calls who more. That the man is required to do everything first, and the most to show interest. That she can hang back, and only receive.

It's almost as if, a good majority of women don't think the men can have feelings too, as if they can't have their own insecurities as well for whatever reason.

It's a two way street. Give what you expect to receive. Most of the time, once a man or female learn to do that, is when all of their relationships, romantic or not, become quality ones that usually go into long term.

I'm guilty of rushing things, I think. But it never feels like rushing to me. I see it like, if you like someone, why drag things out? A lifetime is so short already. I realize now that this may be my Aries Venus/Mercury, and Gem Moon combo talking. But, I just get really antsy. And I start to doubt the person's interest in me. So, I end it.

When I talk to others about the relationship I ended, they usually ask what the rush was, when I feel I made an effort to take my time!

Do you ever really know know? I don’t think so. We just hope for the best and wait for the fall out.

Posted by TaurusFlower22

Posted by nikkistar
What I find most women do, is rush things, or give way too much importance to who texts/calls who more. That the man is required to do everything first, and the most to show interest. That she can hang back, and only receive.

It's almost as if, a good majority of women don't think the men can have feelings too, as if they can't have their own insecurities as well for whatever reason.

It's a two way street. Give what you expect to receive. Most of the time, once a man or female learn to do that, is when all of their relationships, romantic or not, become quality ones that usually go into long term.

I'm guilty of rushing things, I think. But it never feels like rushing to me. I see it like, if you like someone, why drag things out? A lifetime is so short already. I realize now that this may be my Aries Venus/Mercury, and Gem Moon combo talking. But, I just get really antsy. And I start to doubt the person's interest in me. So, I end it.
When I talk to others about the relationship I ended, they usually ask what the rush was, when I feel I made an effort to take my time! click to expand

click to expand

There's nothing wrong with your approach. If someone is into you, they will make the effort to understand your actions and things will continue progressing. When I met my Aries, I was not use to a guy moving as fast as he did but I really liked him so I wasn't going to stop him and complain about what comes natural to him. Either I was going to be okay with it or I wasn't but it's selfish to want to change someone to fit your ideal, nor should you change to fit someone else's ideal.

That's what compatibility is all about, either you're compatible or your not and a lot of people tend to ignore or turn a blind eye even though its pretty obvious when you're not compatible but will still try to force a relationship. That's how you know when it's real, when neither person is forcing the issue and everything just flows. Words are expressed without reservation, actions demonstrated consistently, paired with equal effort from both people.

Posted by Cancer Lady

Posted by TaurusFlower22

Posted by nikkistar
What I find most women do, is rush things, or give way too much importance to who texts/calls who more. That the man is required to do everything first, and the most to show interest. That she can hang back, and only receive.

It's almost as if, a good majority of women don't think the men can have feelings too, as if they can't have their own insecurities as well for whatever reason.

It's a two way street. Give what you expect to receive. Most of the time, once a man or female learn to do that, is when all of their relationships, romantic or not, become quality ones that usually go into long term.

I'm guilty of rushing things, I think. But it never feels like rushing to me. I see it like, if you like someone, why drag things out? A lifetime is so short already. I realize now that this may be my Aries Venus/Mercury, and Gem Moon combo talking. But, I just get really antsy. And I start to doubt the person's interest in me. So, I end it.
When I talk to others about the relationship I ended, they usually ask what the rush was, when I feel I made an effort to take my time! click to expand

There's nothing wrong with your approach. If someone is into you, they will make the effort to understand your actions and things will continue progressing. When I met my Aries, I was not use to a guy moving as fast as he did but I really liked him so I wasn't going to stop him and complain about what comes natural to him. Either I was going to be okay with it or I wasn't but it's selfish to want to change someone to fit your ideal, nor should you change to fit someone else's ideal.

That's what compatibility is all about, either you're compatible or your not and a lot of people tend to ignore or turn a blind eye even though its pretty obvious when you're not compatible but will still try to force a relationship. That's how you know when it's real, when neither person is forcing the issue and everything just flows. Words are expressed without reservation, actions demonstrated consistently, paired with equal effort from both people. click to expand

click to expand

Very true.

Posted by TaurusFlower22

Posted by nikkistar
What I find most women do, is rush things, or give way too much importance to who texts/calls who more. That the man is required to do everything first, and the most to show interest. That she can hang back, and only receive.

It's almost as if, a good majority of women don't think the men can have feelings too, as if they can't have their own insecurities as well for whatever reason.

It's a two way street. Give what you expect to receive. Most of the time, once a man or female learn to do that, is when all of their relationships, romantic or not, become quality ones that usually go into long term.

I'm guilty of rushing things, I think. But it never feels like rushing to me. I see it like, if you like someone, why drag things out? A lifetime is so short already. I realize now that this may be my Aries Venus/Mercury, and Gem Moon combo talking. But, I just get really antsy. And I start to doubt the person's interest in me. So, I end it.
When I talk to others about the relationship I ended, they usually ask what the rush was, when I feel I made an effort to take my time! click to expand

click to expand

There is no rush to get to an end goal for me. I'd rather take my time to know the person is worth my time and vice versa. I'm looking for a partner to raise my kids with. Someone to marry.

You won't find if you share the same values in a few months, to me.

Posted by nikkistar

Posted by TaurusFlower22

Posted by nikkistar
What I find most women do, is rush things, or give way too much importance to who texts/calls who more. That the man is required to do everything first, and the most to show interest. That she can hang back, and only receive.

It's almost as if, a good majority of women don't think the men can have feelings too, as if they can't have their own insecurities as well for whatever reason.

It's a two way street. Give what you expect to receive. Most of the time, once a man or female learn to do that, is when all of their relationships, romantic or not, become quality ones that usually go into long term.

I'm guilty of rushing things, I think. But it never feels like rushing to me. I see it like, if you like someone, why drag things out? A lifetime is so short already. I realize now that this may be my Aries Venus/Mercury, and Gem Moon combo talking. But, I just get really antsy. And I start to doubt the person's interest in me. So, I end it.
When I talk to others about the relationship I ended, they usually ask what the rush was, when I feel I made an effort to take my time! click to expand

There is no rush to get to an end goal for me. I'd rather take my time to know the person is worth my time and vice versa. I'm looking for a partner to raise my kids with. Someone to marry.

You won't find if you share the same values in a few months, to me. click to expand

click to expand

You're right. That's exactly what I'm looking for too. It takes time. I need to work on being patient. I don't have much patience at all. The taking my time to figure out if someone is worth my time, takes too much time, imo. Lol

What's the time limit on this? Are you really giving yourself a chance to get to know them?

Posted by butterfly30
What's the time limit on this? Are you really giving yourself a chance to get to know them?

Usually btwn 6 months to 2 yrs.

But I was with my ex husband for longer than 2 years before marrying him. And we were together for 7 years before I filed for divorce. So, idk...