How do I STOP my feelings?

You know when you keep having feelings that are unproductive but you don't know how to stop? I have romantic feelings for someone I'm not supposed to have romantic feelings for because he doesn't belong to me and he never will belong to me. These feelings I have for him are nothing but unproductive but I don't know how to stop myself from having them. Normally I have so much control over myself. I don't know what's happening to me. I want to snap out of this. The sooner the better.

Commit suicide.

keep away from that person, if they happen to be in the group that you hang with then exit it! You put yourself in the position of being vulnerable and also 9 times out of 10 that person knows and also shares the feelings and knows that they can't but will test you anyway. Your bff's bf perhaps? Happens all the time but you can stop it by staying COMPLETELY away from them no matter want it takes!

I've come to accept one irrefutable thing in life...

The heart wants what the heart wants.

Posted by sweethearts
keep away from that person, if they happen to be in the group that you hang with then exit it! You put yourself in the position of being vulnerable and also 9 times out of 10 that person knows and also shares the feelings and knows that they can't but will test you anyway. Your bff's bf perhaps? Happens all the time but you can stop it by staying COMPLETELY away from them no matter want it takes!

Wouldn't that just make your heart "want" it more? 🙂

Posted by ArticleL
Commit suicide.

I get that isn't funny but for some reason seeing it as the first response to this thread i laughed my ass off.

The heart is weak...if you give into it then you already knew you were going to do it then weren't you? This happens all the time and mostly all it is is sexual and people try to make out its more than that and there is a connection that is undeniable...Until he gets what he wants and then oh shit, we can't hurt her. We have to keep it a secret blah blah blah.

This is classic of why soooo many people are cheaters!

If OP is dead serious on what she is saying and wants to stop the way he/she is making her feel then the only way to do it is to cut them off completely!

@ VH...you be thinking with your little head...not your heart...plain trickery 😛

In all honesty I find the best way to get out of loving someone you can't have is to fall in love with someone else. Pull away from that group as much as you can but perhaps hang out with safe individuals so they don't feel you slipping away. In the mean time date like crazy, meet as many people as you can and give others chances.

I was in the same position as you were until someone new stepped into my life and blew me away. Now the first guy is still around but I barely notice him and wonder what I saw in him to begin with.

Posted by sweethearts
The heart is weak...if you give into it then you already knew you were going to do it then weren't you? This happens all the time and mostly all it is is sexual and people try to make out its more than that and there is a connection that is undeniable...Until he gets what he wants and then oh shit, we can't hurt her. We have to keep it a secret blah blah blah.

This is classic of why soooo many people are cheaters!

If OP is dead serious on what she is saying and wants to stop the way he/she is making her feel then the only way to do it is to cut them off completely!

Sweets...
Yes, the heart CAN be weak but it also drives us, fuels us, and strengthens us.

I suppose what I mean is...
To outright just say "I'M GOING TO STOP FEELING THIS WAY" as if its a light switch isn't dealing with the problem. This isn't saying you should just give in to lust but pure denial and repression of one's self isn't the way.

I suppose it's like when a gal is with an amazing guy, he treats her so good, and she doesn't know how to deal so her "Fight or Flight" mechanisms kick in.

Allow me to use your other discussion as an example:
It sounds like you have a great guy. It sounds like you have a guy you're completely into. You have a guy that LOVES your ass. He works very hard and is also working out, which I'm assuming is both partially motivated by having you in his life. You can laugh with him. You can play with him. You said it yourself that you're a GOOD couple. Despite all this, without having that ONE thing your heart needs (more physical intimacy to feel whole with him), all I have mentioned may be in vain.

The heart wants...what the heart wants 🙂


(Btw, if you're not cool with me bringing that discussion here, TOTALLY cool. Just tell me and I'll hide this response)

Posted by sweethearts
@ VH...you be thinking with your little head...not your heart...plain trickery 😛

Haha! You WOUND me, Sweets. *polishes his halo*

Something you wouldn't pick up on this forum about me but most of my friends call me "The Fox" in regards to my trickery. Anyways, go read my prior post!!!

Posted by GreekBarbie
You know when you keep having feelings that are unproductive but you don't know how to stop? I have romantic feelings for someone I'm not supposed to have romantic feelings for because he doesn't belong to me and he never will belong to me. These feelings I have for him are nothing but unproductive but I don't know how to stop myself from having them. Normally I have so much control over myself. I don't know what's happening to me. I want to snap out of this. The sooner the better.

I did this with feelings I had for someone, one thing I learnt to tell myself was I was feeling something, not being something, so for example if I was feeling sad about him my mind would tell me I was sad, then i would catch myself and would physically tell myself I wasn't sad I was just "feeling sad" - then I'd allow myself to feel the sadness for a few moments (i think this is the important part, letting the feeling happen for a short time) and when I was ready I would just say to myself "now let it go". After doing this enough I finally worked him out of my system. It takes a lot of time but eventually the feelings themselves stop popping up or have less control when they do.

You see VH...I believe it is the mind that drives and strengthens us! It's my mind that wants what it wants for the future and my foolish heart that knows that it should be content with all the good that he has to offer. My mind tells me that I might one day look elsewhere if my needs aren't met...something that goes against my heart...

I'm going to take a look at your prior post...quickly looked into Virgo but didn't see it there?

Thank you for the replies everyone. Just to clear things up, there is nothing physical going on between him and I. We've never hung out alone, we've never kissed, we've never had sex. He has zero idea about my feelings and I have to keep it that way. He already seems like he has enough problems and I wouldn't want to become one of them.

A week ago I came really close to telling him my feelings. I wrote a long email message to him but then instead of sending it, I just deleted it. I realized that I was acting out of my own selfishness (wanting to get it off my chest) and wasn't thinking about how my confession would make him feel. Probably uncomfortable and confused.

I'm glad I came to my senses before it was too late. I was behaving irrationally. My emotions can overcome me sometimes and I lose my head in the process.

You've had 20 years experience at dealing with your feelings ..... why are you an amatuer?


Why do people have to tell you?

Everything everyone told you in here .... you should have learned by the time you were 5 years old.

Posted by ArticleL
Commit suicide.

Wow I'm wondering if anyone has reported this son of a bitch yet? Cuz if not I will. This is just wow.

Telling someone to go commit suicide or even suggesting it as a joke is not funny or okay at all.

Posted by acrabbycrab12

Posted by P-Angel
Everything everyone told you in here .... you should have learned by the time you were 5 years old.

Oh come on P. It's not that easy :p

click to expand

Actually a mother is suspose to teach a child that if that toy is not his leave it the fuck alone. The OP is trying to play with a toy thats not hers. The act of stoping temptation equals self control. Another lesson she shoulda learned when she fel off her bike.

Posted by GreekBarbie
Thank you for the replies everyone. Just to clear things up, there is nothing physical going on between him and I. We've never hung out alone, we've never kissed, we've never had sex. He has zero idea about my feelings and I have to keep it that way. He already seems like he has enough problems and I wouldn't want to become one of them.

A week ago I came really close to telling him my feelings. I wrote a long email message to him but then instead of sending it, I just deleted it. I realized that I was acting out of my own selfishness (wanting to get it off my chest) and wasn't thinking about how my confession would make him feel. Probably uncomfortable and confused.

I'm glad I came to my senses before it was too late. I was behaving irrationally. My emotions can overcome me sometimes and I lose my head in the process.

^^According to this, she did stop herself. She wouldn't be on here making a topic like this if she wasn't trying to stop herself.

Posted by acrabbycrab12

Posted by crimeofpassion89
Telling someone to go commit suicide or even suggesting it as a joke is not funny or okay at all.

sure it can be, when suggested as a joke.

click to expand

What kind of a sick ass-hole would suggest it as a joke? As if suicide is something to joke about?

Lol.

Well either way she seems to me like someone who at least has some self awareness. She's not one of those hoes who are like WELL I DON'T CARE HOW DIRTY I HAVE TO PLAY!! IM GONNA USE MY P*SSY TO LURE HIM IN!!!! HE'LL NEVER GO BACK TO THAT BORING BITCH ONCE HE GETS A PIECE OF THIS!!! lol

You know what I mean?? So don't be too hard on her. She's obviously trying to stop herself from becoming that all too common home wrecking ho.

Posted by crimeofpassion89
Well either way she seems to me like someone who at least has some self awareness. She's not one of those hoes who are like WELL I DON'T CARE HOW DIRTY I HAVE TO PLAY!! IM GONNA USE MY P*SSY TO LURE HIM IN!!!! HE'LL NEVER GO BACK TO THAT BORING BITCH ONCE HE GETS A PIECE OF THIS!!! lol

You know what I mean?? So don't be too hard on her. She's obviously trying to stop herself from becoming that all too common home wrecking ho.

Thanks.

I'm in my late 20s and I have this problem every once in a while. What funny is I always had good control of my feeling and thoughts until I was in my early 20s. As of today I don't no what the hell I was doing then to stay so focus ,and wats weird is I had way more stress and just issues back then ,then now. I don't no wat I did but I was more determind back then. Somethings I'm working on is watching wat enter in my mind and heart. When thoughts come to u about him replace it with sometime else that's more destracting . Don't think about how u feel with him. Don't think about how he look.nothing, u have to trick the mind and the emotion.focus on thinks that's inportant to u now. Concentrate your hobbies. Clean ,go organizes. I no when my mind is focus on someone else,or something else that's not good for me I try to bring the focus back on me and my likes,I think of all the things that I do well and go do it, or I say wat I need to do for my self right now then go organise my shoes or polish my toes.. take that love u have for him and go by a animal or spend time with family or friends. Trust me I no how u feel, I wish someone can tell me this when my emotions take over cause I do get lose into miy head and heart

Been there, done that. I was in a similar situation, where my feelings for this guy just grew out of nothing. Looking back at it today, I know that I would have regretted it had I acted on those feelings. The heart picks up on anything it chooses and makes it some big story. Don't let your feelings rule you. That's not the way life is. I feel once you avoid this person they will somehow be thrown back into your face because its something you need to deal with, in their presence. For how long are you going to avoid that person?? And what happens if you can't avoid him??

Where you are standing right now, make it clear that chasing these feelings for him will not do u any good. Its our nature nowadays to wonder what if, to take a sneak peak if we see the sign 'do not peak'...its our nature to always try and break the rules, limitations and so on. But the one thing that will lead you in a better direction is what you know. If you know that this person is happy where they are, if you know that there will be unhappiness once you persue your feelings, if you know that one day you will wake up and there will be a new guy in your mind, if you know that its simply not worth the time,the pain and the energy > then you gots it covered.