I rejected a man, he put black magic on me and my now ex boyfriend…

Your advises on how to approach my now ex to get black magic removal as his condition is not acceptable. I have known this guy, called A. since 2012, he was friends with the extended family. Married with kids. Obviously, over the years he developed feelings for me and was complementing me and paying visits to family just to see me- that’s what I, and the family found out later. I never took any of his compliments any seriously knowing he has a family, and if he were the last man on earth there would be no way on earth I could be with him as he is absolutely not my type nor has any qualifications whatsoever.

In late 2015 I met my now ex at my work in a branch in a different country, his name is R. He was everything I wanted in a man. He was my answered prayers. He came into my life unexpectedly and taught me what life feels when u have someone u can trust. And when you trust someone, how easy is it love them.. It was a distant relationship but he made sure it never felt like one. We skyped every day for a whole year and met every 2 months. He always paid for my trips and outings. We met both our families. In my 38 years, I have never known what life is like when you feel safe.. in peace, harmony, love, and respect. He wanted a serious relationship. If I am to describe him in 2 words, I would say safe and peace. I had no problem opening up to him which is unusual of me. We both felt the same way towards each other, and he used to call me my walking dream. He was, and still the most decent and sincere man I have ever met. He was and still the man I want to see happy and in prosperity and success even if he does not want to be in a relationship with me anymore but he does not see me any more than a crazy ex now.. here’s why..

The guy called A. learnt about my relationship with R. and he would more frequently starts to tell me he wants me to marry him (since he’s Muslim and is allowed to have 4 wives religiously) and since I was in a relationship with R. I would tell him again he’s not my type, married, and now I would add I love R he is everything I ever wanted. Kindest heart and soul, gentleman, highly educated and respectful. I have high emotional intelligence and I could see his body language and facial expressions changing to shocked and nervous. I cannot go into lots of details but bottom line is he threatened me multiple times- which I didn’t consider a threat at those times-until after 2.5 months after R. broke up with me. A. told me different things in a joking manner and on different occasions, here are some of the following statements:

1- You will see, there will come a day you will come to me with your own feet and tell me I love you and trust you, all other men disappointed me

2- R. is not a man and he will disappoint you, you will see

3- He does not love you like I do

4- You will not last long together, you will see

5- Ease my pain and tell me do you ever think of me (which I did a couple of times and thought it was weird but I would force myself to stop it, and would start to see him attractive although he could not be even close to it) I always told him you don’t even cross my mind

6- R. is psychologically unstable to leave you, i promise you to take care of you and make you happy, accept of me

7- He would ask how things are with R and he would tell me so you have no problems? And when he knew I was so hurt crying we broke up he told me in a message: hahaha.. I miss you!

8- I am ready to come ask your hand for marriage, you just have to accept me

9- I will not allow you to marry anyone but me

R said he’s breaking up because of his unusual severe anxiety. He told me he is scared, overwhelmed, and its against his condition and nature that he cant make contact with any kind of people, its unusual of him and he wants to be isolated, and alone he does not want to hurt me. There were definitely misunderstands before the break up that could have been logically solved had we not been under a black magic spell to separate us. Mind you, I was going through anxiety as well and I accused R of cheating on me out of a stupid thing which was our first fight after a year together and the breakup was in process to happen. I kept reassuring him that I want to stand by him we delay the breakup decision otherwise I would not be worthy of him but he would not accept. I read articles on line on how to be of best support when he wont talk to me so I texted him lots of encouragement and love texts every week which he always read and never replied to. He considered me a stalker after a couple of months..

Anyway, knowing R. very well, and his going completely silent and knowing myself I am not my usual self, I went to a religious spiritual healer who confirmed that we are under a black magic spell to separate us. I took my treatment and removed it, and then told R. what happened to us in a long email. I even showed him the pictures of the spell I found maybe he starts to have a conversation with me and later I could ask him to go himself seek a religious spiritual healer himself. He thought I was crazy and told me black magic is none sense. That he cannot be in a relationship with neither me or any other woman. That’s he’s still overwhelmed by human contact and needs to isolate himself. I reassured him many times that I still love him unconditionally but im not after him for a relationship, im after standing by his side as a friend to help him end his anxiety quicker (I could not scare him and tell him what he’s going through is most probably black magic too) he would still refuse to answer my texts although he read them and sometimes asked me to stop texting him but I couldn’t and would still text him every 1 or 2 weeks because I was scared that his anxiety brought depression as well, his case is getting worst and he would end up hurting himself. I might have bombarded him I admit it but I really could not know how to handle the situation better. Until one day he stopped opening my messages. I waited 2 or 3 weeks and could not help but ask his colleague who was also a friend before he changed, and whom I know is jealous of him because he had a crush on me and I refused him and caused him a little shock, but I had no one else to ask about him. I told him we broke up because R told me he’s going through a rough time he needs to be on his own, is he ok or is he not and I should excuse him for going silent on me because we broke up with no fight or any hard feelings. And his colleague told me that its been a year (since A. started to threaten me) that he is a completely different person than we know him. He was the star of the office and everyone was jealous of him, he was proud to have you and the happiest when you were together but now he is aggressive, short tempered that he lost all friendships he made in the office, chief is not satisfied with his behaviour and she might not extend his contract. That he has clear signs of depression, and whoever told him that he needs to help himself, he had fights with them and stopped talking to them. He told me the situation is bad but he refuses any help and if he doesn’t do anything about it he’s afraid its going to get worst. During those 7 months, I was trying to help R with 2 hours prayers dedicated to his healing, going to church, lighting candles, hoping that god makes him better and he talks to me so I could get him to see a priest.

I freaked out and gave myself 2 days to think what to do to help him. Whether his anxiety and depression are caused by black magic or because it just happened for no reason at all, R. is not doing well, he’s not seeking help, and no one is with him. And I cannot just know it, leave him like that knowing he’s the reserved type he wont ask for any help it will get worst, and knowing what’s happening to him is affecting his job as well. I could not stay silent anymore. How could I stand still when I know the man who gave me every beautiful thing I ever wanted needs me even if he does not accept of it? How could I know I can help him and not go above and beyond for him? How can I not return my gratefulness for everything he is by helping him get passed this hard time… I could only think of contacting his family who live in a different country and told them about his depression and anxiety, I could not mention black magic because I know not everyone believes in it or they would just think im crazy like he did. I asked them to be smart because he refuses any help, but I don’t know why they sent him screenshots of my chats. I don’t know how could they not think for a moment that I could be right they should at least check on him and then just decide how and what to tell him. They hurt him even more without realizing they did.. To him, I betrayed his trust by revealing his anxiety and depression secret.

He had a fight with his colleague and stopped talking to him, and his colleague told me that he said if I ever contact him or his family again he will file a harassment case against me and hire a lawyer.. And that he denied to R. that its him who told me his news in the office. His colleague asked me if I agree to say that I faked the screenshots because he is scared that R might file a case against him and lose his job for it.. I agreed to easy the freaking out of his colleauge.. . He also told me that it was a bad thing in R culture that I told his family. Its about honor and reputation and it’s a taboo the depression and anxiety thing. That he understands I behaved in a humanitarian way and wanted to help but R might think I either tried to ruin his reputation, or I am just a crazy ex who is in denial of the breakup…

R blocked me on everything after this incident, and I just cant take the guilt that if it weren’t for me knowing A., R would not be in this state… No matter the reason for the state his is now, I do not have the heart to leave him just like that what if it is bl

No matter the reason for the state his is now, I do not have the heart to leave him just like that what if it is black magic it means his whole is ruined, I cannot be happy in my life or move on. I am unable to have fun, smile, or completely move on before I know he’s ok and his life is good.

If you were in my shoes, what would you do?

1- How to convince him to check a priest and not get him scared.

2- Would you have told family to help knowing he’s the reserved type he has no one tell or help him

3- I need to help me.. I love him.. I love him enough to even realize helping him does not mean getting back together but I cannot live knowing it could be black magic and this is how his life will always be..

Sorry for the long story I tried to shorten it as much as I could. Your opinions and ideas are much appreciated.