@Gemitati
11 Years25,000+ Posts
Getting hurt and marriage
Posted by Astrology101
Cause marriage is secure while being in a relationship is not.
But 'hurt' should prevent people FROM commitment huge as marriage! Isn't it?
Posted by Astrology101
Cause marriage is secure while being in a relationship is not.
This.
As a commitmentphobe myself, I got to say I'm more ready for marriage than I am a standard issue relationship because in theory marriage (a piece of paper) is more stable and "safe" than a spoken promise.
Yup... Marriage gives a sense of security.
I'd say "I do" faster than "let's do it" any day. I have fear of relationship not ending as marriage for whatever reasons.. not the relationship or commitment itself. So obviously I'd say yes coz that's what I actually want.
There's no such thing as security, even in a marriage. The op is example enough of that.
Once you let go of 'forever' and live in the now is when forever seems possible.
Posted by LadyNeptune
There's no such thing as security, even in a marriage. The op is example enough of that.Once you let go of 'forever' and live in the now is when forever seems possible.
Theoretically yes.
But the question was for people with relashionship phobia 'I might get hurt' - when and HOW that person commuting to marriage IF their biggest fear to get hurt?
Posted by LadyNeptune
There's no such thing as security, even in a marriage. The op is example enough of that.Once you let go of 'forever' and live in the now is when forever seems possible.
I am an example of not having fear of marriage and not having fear period...
I haven't feared being hurt by getting married and I am not getting afraid not to be married. So suck it up! Will you?
Posted by LadyNeptune
There's no such thing as security, even in a marriage. The op is example enough of that.Once you let go of 'forever' and live in the now is when forever seems possible.
I am an example of not having fear of marriage and not having fear period...
I haven't feared being hurt by getting married and I am not getting afraid not to be married. So suck it up! Will you?
click to expand
Your an example that you can't really trust anyone. People live to disappoint.
Posted by LadyNeptune
There's no such thing as security, even in a marriage. The op is example enough of that.Once you let go of 'forever' and live in the now is when forever seems possible.
I am an example of not having fear of marriage and not having fear period...
I haven't feared being hurt by getting married and I am not getting afraid not to be married. So suck it up! Will you?
Your an example that you can't really trust anyone. People live to disappoint.
click to expand
I've lived enough to serve and makes others happy.
When you served time of 23 years - speak up and now just SHUT UP!!!
Posted by LadyNeptune
There's no such thing as security, even in a marriage. The op is example enough of that.Once you let go of 'forever' and live in the now is when forever seems possible.
I am an example of not having fear of marriage and not having fear period...
I haven't feared being hurt by getting married and I am not getting afraid not to be married. So suck it up! Will you?
Your an example that you can't really trust anyone. People live to disappoint.
I've lived enough to serve and makes others happy.
When you served time of 23 years - speak up and now just SHUT UP!!!
click to expand
Problem is when you made those marriage vows did you promise service for 23 years, or death do you part?
Posted by Astrology101
Cause marriage is secure while being in a relationship is not.But 'hurt' should prevent people FROM commitment huge as marriage! Isn't it?
Yes.
I had the same conversation with Gemitati Jr., just today. It isn't going over too well.
click to expand
? More info about Gemitati Jr. paleeZe!
Posted by Astrology101
Cause marriage is secure while being in a relationship is not.But 'hurt' should prevent people FROM commitment huge as marriage! Isn't it?
Yes.
I had the same conversation with Gemitati Jr., just today. It isn't going over too well.
? More info about Gemitati Jr. paleeZe!
Specific questions, please and thank you. She wants a commitment of some sort after 6 weeks.
I want to know her better. Says she loves me, but I don't believe she could given what limited contact we've had.
click to expand
She is desperate and trying too hard.
Remove yourself and do it asap.
Unless you are in love but it doesn't seem so...
Posted by Astrology101
Cause marriage is secure while being in a relationship is not.But 'hurt' should prevent people FROM commitment huge as marriage! Isn't it?
Yes.
I had the same conversation with Gemitati Jr., just today. It isn't going over too well.
? More info about Gemitati Jr. paleeZe!
Specific questions, please and thank you. She wants a commitment of some sort after 6 weeks.
I want to know her better. Says she loves me, but I don't believe she could given what limited contact we've had.
She is desperate and trying too hard.
Remove yourself and do it asap.
Unless you are in love but it doesn't seem so...
Well at this point, she just wants to live with me for a period of time.
But talking about commitment as well.
click to expand
What do YOU want?
Posted by Astrology101
Cause marriage is secure while being in a relationship is not.But 'hurt' should prevent people FROM commitment huge as marriage! Isn't it?
Yes.
I had the same conversation with Gemitati Jr., just today. It isn't going over too well.
? More info about Gemitati Jr. paleeZe!
Specific questions, please and thank you. She wants a commitment of some sort after 6 weeks.
I want to know her better. Says she loves me, but I don't believe she could given what limited contact we've had.
She is desperate and trying too hard.
Remove yourself and do it asap.
Unless you are in love but it doesn't seem so...
Well at this point, she just wants to live with me for a period of time.
But talking about commitment as well.
What do YOU want?
I appreciate your feedback, with the Gemini pov.
I honestly don't know right now, but I'd say it's a long shot to make it work. Difference in cultures, language barriers, non-citizenship, plus the fact I have a LOT to lose.
click to expand
So forget about her. Move on...
Trust me.
What language is hers?
Posted by Astrology101
Cause marriage is secure while being in a relationship is not.But 'hurt' should prevent people FROM commitment huge as marriage! Isn't it?
Yes.
I had the same conversation with Gemitati Jr., just today. It isn't going over too well.
? More info about Gemitati Jr. paleeZe!
Specific questions, please and thank you. She wants a commitment of some sort after 6 weeks.
I want to know her better. Says she loves me, but I don't believe she could given what limited contact we've had.
She is desperate and trying too hard.
Remove yourself and do it asap.
Unless you are in love but it doesn't seem so...
Well at this point, she just wants to live with me for a period of time.
But talking about commitment as well.
What do YOU want?
I appreciate your feedback, with the Gemini pov.
I honestly don't know right now, but I'd say it's a long shot to make it work. Difference in cultures, language barriers, non-citizenship, plus the fact I have a LOT to lose.
So forget about her. Move on...
Trust me.
What language is hers?
She's got staying power, and she doesn't quit, like most of them usually do.
Speaks English, but doesn't comprehend all of it very well. Moldovan/Romanian.
click to expand
What's staying power?
Posted by Astrology101
Cause marriage is secure while being in a relationship is not.But 'hurt' should prevent people FROM commitment huge as marriage! Isn't it?
Yes.
I had the same conversation with Gemitati Jr., just today. It isn't going over too well.
? More info about Gemitati Jr. paleeZe!
Specific questions, please and thank you. She wants a commitment of some sort after 6 weeks.
I want to know her better. Says she loves me, but I don't believe she could given what limited contact we've had.
She is desperate and trying too hard.
Remove yourself and do it asap.
Unless you are in love but it doesn't seem so...
Well at this point, she just wants to live with me for a period of time.
But talking about commitment as well.
What do YOU want?
I appreciate your feedback, with the Gemini pov.
I honestly don't know right now, but I'd say it's a long shot to make it work. Difference in cultures, language barriers, non-citizenship, plus the fact I have a LOT to lose.
So forget about her. Move on...
Trust me.
What language is hers?
She's got staying power, and she doesn't quit, like most of them usually do.
Speaks English, but doesn't comprehend all of it very well. Moldovan/Romanian.
What's staying power?
Testing her with doses of reality and she doesn't do the ghosting trick, like most do.
Keeps coming back for more, and tells me she loves me, even though I am the constant cynic/realist.
click to expand
Language barrier
Posted by Astrology101
Cause marriage is secure while being in a relationship is not.But 'hurt' should prevent people FROM commitment huge as marriage! Isn't it?
Yes.
I had the same conversation with Gemitati Jr., just today. It isn't going over too well.
? More info about Gemitati Jr. paleeZe!
Specific questions, please and thank you. She wants a commitment of some sort after 6 weeks.
I want to know her better. Says she loves me, but I don't believe she could given what limited contact we've had.
She is desperate and trying too hard.
Remove yourself and do it asap.
Unless you are in love but it doesn't seem so...
Well at this point, she just wants to live with me for a period of time.
But talking about commitment as well.
What do YOU want?
I appreciate your feedback, with the Gemini pov.
I honestly don't know right now, but I'd say it's a long shot to make it work. Difference in cultures, language barriers, non-citizenship, plus the fact I have a LOT to lose.
So forget about her. Move on...
Trust me.
What language is hers?
She's got staying power, and she doesn't quit, like most of them usually do.
Speaks English, but doesn't comprehend all of it very well. Moldovan/Romanian.
What's staying power?
Testing her with doses of reality and she doesn't do the ghosting trick, like most do.
Keeps coming back for more, and tells me she loves me, even though I am the constant cynic/realist.
click to expand
Remember! People who wants to stay will eat your shit! Until they get green card and only THEN you will see real thing!
Don't fall prey!
Posted by Gemitati
How do these (people who are afraid to get hurt in relationships to the point that they are refusing getting involved) getting married?What ta heck happens that they ARE letting guards down and saying I do?
Does it take...what! Or who? Or why?
Tired of running and giving up?
What if marriage doesn't work after all?
Do they commit themselves?
Because 'I shouldn't have' or 'I knew it' or what?
The fell in love ? Or ....want kids i dunno
Posted by Astrology101
Cause marriage is secure while being in a relationship is not.But 'hurt' should prevent people FROM commitment huge as marriage! Isn't it?
Yes.
I had the same conversation with Gemitati Jr., just today. It isn't going over too well.
? More info about Gemitati Jr. paleeZe!
Specific questions, please and thank you. She wants a commitment of some sort after 6 weeks.
I want to know her better. Says she loves me, but I don't believe she could given what limited contact we've had.
She is desperate and trying too hard.
Remove yourself and do it asap.
Unless you are in love but it doesn't seem so...
Well at this point, she just wants to live with me for a period of time.
But talking about commitment as well.
What do YOU want?
I appreciate your feedback, with the Gemini pov.
I honestly don't know right now, but I'd say it's a long shot to make it work. Difference in cultures, language barriers, non-citizenship, plus the fact I have a LOT to lose.
So forget about her. Move on...
Trust me.
What language is hers?
She's got staying power, and she doesn't quit, like most of them usually do.
Speaks English, but doesn't comprehend all of it very well. Moldovan/Romanian.
What's staying power?
click to expandTesting her with doses of reality and she doesn't do the ghosting trick, like most do.
Keeps coming back for more, and tells me she loves me, even though I am the constant cynic/realist.
Did this help you understand your situation?
dxpnet has hosted real conversations like this since 2000. If you value independent communities, you can support the site below.
Every contribution helps keep dxpnet independent and ad-light.
Join the Conversation. Explore Yourself. Connect with Others.
Discover insights, swap stories, and find people. dxpnet is where experiences turn into understanding.
Create Your Free Account →
How do these (people who are afraid to get hurt in relationships to the point that they are refusing getting involved) getting married?
What ta heck happens that they ARE letting guards down and saying I do?
Does it take...what! Or who? Or why?
Tired of running and giving up?
What if marriage doesn't work after all?
Do they commit themselves?
Because 'I shouldn't have' or 'I knew it' or what?