Intimacy

If you're still emotionally connected to a past lover, can you still be intimate with another person (sex) and would you actually enjoy it (sex).

some days are better than others...

Posted by AirMan
wow. you sure in a posting role today.

Just thinking out loud bud

Posted by tiziani
Define "emotionally connected"

You still have deep feelings for them or they still have your heart.

Posted by exoskeleton
roll*

and yes.

But how?

I'm struggling with this guys, I needs helps!!!

Everybody else that says no...I feel you.*sighs*

Idk that's a hard one. For a Taurus I am all about intimacy and it should be meaningful to each other. A Taurus can hold on to past lovers and once a Taurus start anew then can move on. I sometimes think what they are doing or how they are. But often wonder we didn't work out. Then I can say I'll move on and find the one who treats you right.

First decan taurian....My point exactly..that's how I am but I'm a cancer sun with taurus rising and moon so it's a horrible trio when it comes to disconnecting from what was.

I've been in this situation. I still have feeling for my ex partner but I know why it did not work out and we are now just friends and work in business together. I cannot help how I feel but I do not act on those feelings or dwell on them. I put them aside and I don't bring them up. I think if I really loved someone then I will always love them. It's easier to deal with if that person is no longer around and time is a good healer.

Since the break up I did meet someone else and although the sex wasn't 'as good' as it was with my ex (it was actually only once and it didn't happen again when we met up again but that was due to other reasons) I also understand that it takes time to develop that 'good' connection with someone else.

I think if your heart belongs to someone else then it can be hard to be with someone else and enjoy it because it just feels different.

I try to think that when we break up they return my heart back to me because they no longer want me and my heart but a little piece stays with them but I have enough to give to another in the future.

Perhaps the heart could take a lesson from the liver and learn how to generate itself better!

I can see what exo means. I do believe I've been doing that way. Everytime it doesn't work out. I stay out of the media and just be a ghost for awhile..then I try again If I often find the person physically attractive..then skies the limit .. I am single..

And I feel since I have Venus in Taurus it's really hard to say no if there's some kind of connection..that always bites me back. Obsession over possessions..yeah nah..I'll choose single and stay home for a minute, do what I have to do. And rejoice.

Posted by AgentP911
I've been in this situation. I still have feeling for my ex partner but I know why it did not work out and we are now just friends and work in business together. I cannot help how I feel but I do not act on those feelings or dwell on them. I put them aside and I don't bring them up. I think if I really loved someone then I will always love them. It's easier to deal with if that person is no longer around and time is a good healer.

Since the break up I did meet someone else and although the sex wasn't 'as good' as it was with my ex (it was actually only once and it didn't happen again when we met up again but that was due to other reasons) I also understand that it takes time to develop that 'good' connection with someone else.

I think if your heart belongs to someone else then it can be hard to be with someone else and enjoy it because it just feels different.

I try to think that when we break up they return my heart back to me because they no longer want me and my heart but a little piece stays with them but I have enough to give to another in the future.

Perhaps the heart could take a lesson from the liver and learn how to generate itself better!

i relate. i still feel love for all those in the past i have made that deep connection with. i dont feel like it will ever go away. i do realize that if we were supposed to be together we would be and we are not for a reason whatever that may be... timing, circumstance, whatever... and i accept and appreciate how things are today. that helps me move on and remain open to all of life's possibilities.

Well so far I agree with what everybody has to say, but how long is too long to be dwelling on this?

Also, do you realise that some people can mourn the lost of a failed love relationship for years...while some may not even get over it

What would you say to someone like that who can't seem to move on from that bond with the ex?

It supposed to be predetermined by the universe..and timing is everything...and I'm really working on meeting new people this year regardless what happens.

Sometimes its not about enjoying, sometime its about breaking bonds so that in the grand scheme of things you can enjoy you're life without you're ex partner by moving on.

Okay kool guys, I really do appreciate the feedback and just know its not falling on deaf ears and you're actually giving useful advice that can and will change someone's life...

You're the greatest!!!!

If anyone else wanna chime in and give you take on things, you're more than welcome to whether I may agree with your view or not.

Posted by crabRiot
If you're still emotionally connected to a past lover, can you still be intimate with another person (sex) and would you actually enjoy it (sex).

If I still have deep feelings for someone, then no.

Posted by Shruikan

Posted by crabRiot
If you're still emotionally connected to a past lover, can you still be intimate with another person (sex) and would you actually enjoy it (sex).

If I still have deep feelings for someone, then no.

click to expand

"Ditto"! This is why a break in between relationships is absolutely paramount for me....to cleanse...reflect...grieve (if I must)...and then be at peace to move forward contently.

My spontaneous thought was that, yes, I could do that. But then I began thinking about it and lo and behold, I have declined several great offers(lovers from the past) due to that, so I guess it's a no for me.

I can separate emotion from sex quite easily.

But if I'm deeply emotionally hurt then I have no interest in physical pleasure whatsoever, for at least 6-12 mths.

I've never been one to jump from one relationship to another. I have to start healing and letting go before I even want sex again. Even then I refrain from emotional entanglement for at least another year.

Posted by tiziani

Posted by crabRiot

Posted by tiziani
Define "emotionally connected"

You still have deep feelings for them or they still have your heart.

Then I really doubt it. I don't know.... I've never been able to so far. I'm not big on separating sex from emotions.

click to expand

How are you defining sex? Are you telling me you need to have feelings for a woman to receive a blow job?

I don't mean to single you out. I hit page 2 and saw your post first 😛

My lazy moon only skims threads today.

Posted by Ssupes

Posted by crabRiot
Well so far I agree with what everybody has to say, but how long is too long to be dwelling on this?

Also, do you realise that some people can mourn the lost of a failed love relationship for years...while some may not even get over it

What would you say to someone like that who can't seem to move on from that bond with the ex?

It is what it is. Can't help how u feel.

click to expand

It's been 6yrs since my last relationship, my heart was deeply shattered. I've not let anyone have any real emotion from me since. I'm my own worst enemy

In the last year I've started to let the ice melt and finally feel ready to take the risk again. It's not healthy or fair on myself or anyone that enters my life romantically, if I don't.

Posted by tiziani

You're lucky I'm not a Scorpio.

Hmmmm, refer to your second post. You're on your way sir.

Intimacy and being 'in love' are 2 different things. So the answer to your question is YES, it's possible to not be over someone but yet have moments of intimacy with someone else.

If not, it simply comes down to each person's own definition of 'intimacy.'