@DMV
15 Years25,000+ PostsSagittarius
What if your partner stopped having sex with you?
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lets say, theyre not handicapped or near death. nothing like that.
Posted by e11e
Posted by DMV
lets say, theyre not handicapped or near death. nothing like that.
I would die.
Moon - Aries
Mars - Scorpio
Venus - Libraclick to expand
i was very passionate in my response. Like sex is serious business. I like it. Especially if its good, im never going to leave you alone. and the thought, the audacity to just cut me off. naw homie dont play dat.
that means that theres something else going on with you and its so bad that you take away something so vital.
Posted by tiziani
If it were a guy maybe he just doesn't like you or the relationship very much at that moment.Self control rather than control.
When a woman is unhapoy about where she stands in a relationship what's the first thing she's advised to do? Stop sleeping with him. Is that controlling or self control?
Thankfully I have a low sex drive so I've never had to be in a position to ask this question personally. But either way not being able to talk about it on both sides is unhealthy.
i think either way it is a control issue. but youre right, not talking about whats really bothering you is more detrimental.
i remember meeting this leo. he sexed me up soooo good and then the next day, i tried to get freaky and he shut me down hard. then told me that he doesnt believe in having sex everyday. it should be something reserved for special occasions. in other words, he only wanted to have sex when he wanted it. punishment/reward system.
i immediately tuned him out when he said he wasnt into sex everyday. i was so turned off and felt so rejected. worse, i felt like it was some big ol game.
when a guy turns me down, its like hell on earth. best get ready for WW3 because i will bitch like no other. or, i just leave.
Posted by Rambunctious76
Sorry, I should add that she wanted to patch things back after dumping me, but the condition was that she didn't want to have sex with me anymore because she could find it elsewhere.Could you blame me for rejecting her? lol
Posted by Rambunctious76
Sorry, I should add that she wanted to patch things back after dumping me, but the condition was that she didn't want to have sex with me anymore because she could find it elsewhere.Could you blame me for rejecting her? lol
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Hell no that wouldn't fly. Taurus moon so I can be Jealous, very Possessive, and Resentful, Mars/Venus in Leo so passionate sex is a big part of relationship, and Virgo so I wouldn't even remember her name if she said something like that.
Posted by tiziani
Posted by DMV
i remember meeting this leo. he sexed me up soooo good and then the next day, i tried to get freaky and he shut me down hard. then told me that he doesnt believe in having sex everyday. it should be something reserved for special occasions. in other words, he only wanted to have sex when he wanted it. punishment/reward system.i immediately tuned him out when he said he wasnt into sex everyday. i was so turned off and felt so rejected. worse, i felt like it was some big ol game.
when a guy turns me down, its like hell on earth. best get ready for WW3 because i will bitch like no other. or, i just leave.
When else is a person meant to want to have sex?
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well, what i mean is. one person cant determine when the couple has sex. if you only want to have sex on your terms, im not going to be okay with that.
Posted by Rambunctious76
Sorry, I should add that she wanted to patch things back after dumping me, but the condition was that she didn't want to have sex with me anymore because she could find it elsewhere.Could you blame me for rejecting her? lol
hell naw. that doesnt even read right.
for example, i know a guy who wouldnt have sex with his gf because he didnt want to have sex everyday. so when HE deemed them ready to have sex they would. So she was always at his mercy. even with oral, he wouldnt reciprocate unless he deemed it special, yet he wanted it when he asked for it, whereas she would get denied.
Posted by DMV
for example, i know a guy who wouldnt have sex with his gf because he didnt want to have sex everyday. so when HE deemed them ready to have sex they would. So she was always at his mercy. even with oral, he wouldnt reciprocate unless he deemed it special, yet he wanted it when he asked for it, whereas she would get denied.
so she would try to be on her best behavior 24/7 to increase her chances of getting laid. she would make more concessions for him and bend over backwards to increase her chances.
thus, the punishment reward system.
-_-
I damn near ended my 10 year relationship over this.
Not making excuses foe him whatsoever, but since he came back from Iraq years ago, he just hasn't been the same.
It's not like we never have sex...but it definitely dwindled dramatically. It went from at least once a day to like once a week if I'm lucky.
I really struggled with it for a while but now I'm just to the point where I either accept it or move on.
I've tried talking to him about it and he just says it's not the most important thing to him and his schedule is all messed up and he just wants to sleep and not be interrupted.
It bugs me that he doesn't seem to really give a shit how it affects me...but at the same time it sort of makes me feel shitty for making such a big deal over it.
ugh it's a dilemma forreal
Also he thinks its a big joke - which make me want to physically harm him... like I gave him attitude the other day because he was bitching I didn't switch the laundry...and was like are your fucking arms broken?
And he was like "I see you sassing me hoping I'll give you the D later"
-_- fuck off !
Moral of my story I think is never move in together...just live separate lives...forget about getting married...or having kids omg (worst idea ever)
If it's too convenient for him he doesn't feel any type of sense of urgency.
It'll be there tomorrow kind of thing
Lol
I wonder if cayenne works the same...I think I could prob sneak that into a lot of things without him knowing
Posted by tiziani
It's all relative I guess. To me sex every day is crazy talk. But then to the next person who wants it three times a day it's also crazy talk because once a day for them is not enough.I also learnt that curry chicken peas and rice turns me into a borderline rapist for the night so it's whatever. The more you live the more you find out about your body. I have a serious issue with putting spice in my food. Then I just want to conquer her and have no concept of time.
lmao
Posted by brianafay
I wonder if cayenne works the same...I think I could prob sneak that into a lot of things without him knowing
it does. porn starts (men) rub it into their butthole to last longer/go harder.
Posted by Twodrinkminimum
But too much becomes routine and predictable, it becomes boring. I like to tease and deny myself. Within a relationship, build up the heat for days at a time and unleash.
I do reluctantly agree.
The sex may be less frequent but though I hate to admit it, it's actually better somehow
Posted by Layna
1st Aries - who loved spicy food - and I were having so little sex, I told him I wanted to drop Viagra into his tea.
Maybe his trigger is sweet instead of spicy?
I could sit here and think about how it might have something to do with me/what I'm doing wrong or not doing right (like society would have women believe about just about everything else).....or I can believe him when he says it's just not his priority and accept it for what it is.
I wish I was more assertive when it comes to this kind of thing... but I always end up feeling kind of gross/shitty for making a big deal about it.
Like if I bitch and say "we're only having sex once a week and it makes me feel unwanted..." then he will just say I am placing too much importance on it and then I feel bad.
Or he will give me what I want and I still feel bad.
It's a horrible position to be in
People should have to sign a contract when they get together
Songs about eating asshole....
Hahahahaha
Lol
Posted by Sugarfoot
Posted by brianafay
I could sit here and think about how it might have something to do with me/what I'm doing wrong or not doing right (like society would have women believe about just about everything else).....or I can believe him when he says it's just not his priority and accept it for what it is.
IMO you're doing the right thing by accepting what he tells you and believing him. It's truly not always about the other person. I went through a few months of depression and there was nothing my S/O could do to make me want sex. It was just the furthest thing from my mind. All I wanted was cuddling and holding hands. Even kissing was too much. He knew what it was about and that it didn't have anything to do with him. He has a really high sex drive so it was hard for him but I give him a lot of credit for being respectful and not pressuring me (too much). During that time I told him just let me come to him because I felt bad constantly rejecting him.
It would have really bothered me if he would have been pressing and pressing for sex. It would have made me feel like he didn't give a damn about what I was going through and all he cared about was sex.
We still wanted to be around each other just as much without the sex. So, it made me feel like we could make it through some storms and have longevity. 🙂
On the flip side, I have had someone just stop having sex with me because he was trying to control me. A scorp. He didn't get his way and apparently I questioned his wishes too much. lol....so he withheld sex. I ended up leaving.
So for me it depends on the scenario in which the person stopped having sex with me.
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Yeah I agree it definitely depends on the circumstances...I can't imagine someone withholding as punishment. That's just not even in my realm...why spite yourself just to spite someone else?
Beautiful disaster,
no. No sex yet. Im taking his lead. But I do enjoy talking about it. He is indeed reserved in public. Doesnt sleep naked. But I told him that I was raised as a nudist and I dont wear clothes at home.. He replied that were going to have like 10 kids.
Im a venus in cap square pluto
He's probably an under cover freak ...he has you fooled with all this modesty bullshit lol
What are you going to do? Ive been there with my leo ex. I remember the day I stopped having sex with him. I went down on him and noticed he shaved his hair off. He only does that when hes trying to impress someone. That someone wasnt me.
that was then beginning of the end. When the sex stops.
Posted by Sugarfoot
Posted by brianafay
Posted by Sugarfoot
Posted by brianafay
I could sit here and think about how it might have something to do with me/what I'm doing wrong or not doing right (like society would have women believe about just about everything else).....or I can believe him when he says it's just not his priority and accept it for what it is.
IMO you're doing the right thing by accepting what he tells you and believing him. It's truly not always about the other person. I went through a few months of depression and there was nothing my S/O could do to make me want sex. It was just the furthest thing from my mind. All I wanted was cuddling and holding hands. Even kissing was too much. He knew what it was about and that it didn't have anything to do with him. He has a really high sex drive so it was hard for him but I give him a lot of credit for being respectful and not pressuring me (too much). During that time I told him just let me come to him because I felt bad constantly rejecting him.
It would have really bothered me if he would have been pressing and pressing for sex. It would have made me feel like he didn't give a damn about what I was going through and all he cared about was sex.
We still wanted to be around each other just as much without the sex. So, it made me feel like we could make it through some storms and have longevity. 🙂
On the flip side, I have had someone just stop having sex with me because he was trying to control me. A scorp. He didn't get his way and apparently I questioned his wishes too much. lol....so he withheld sex. I ended up leaving.
So for me it depends on the scenario in which the person stopped having sex with me.
Yeah I agree it definitely depends on the circumstances...I can't imagine someone withholding as punishment. That's just not even in my realm...why spite yourself just to spite someone else?
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Hell if I know. Mofo was crazy. He knew I wanted it so he took it away. I see it like taking a kids xbox away until they start "behaving" again. He was treating me like a kid. I was 10 yrs his jr sooo...I guess
Posted by DMV
@Briana,What are you going to do? Ive been there with my leo ex. I remember the day I stopped having sex with him. I went down on him and noticed he shaved his hair off. He only does that when hes trying to impress someone. That someone wasnt me.
that was then beginning of the end. When the sex stops.
Oh I'm not going to do anything. I went off on a tangent (sorry)...but my point was before this I always would have said what you said...if the sex stops, I leave.
But I love him and even though it's a bit frustrating at times...I have to accept that it has little to do with me...and we do have something so much more special ...he's right... I may be putting a little too much importance on it. Maybe we don't really need to do it every day
And reading tizzy's comments help too because they have a lot of the same placements and he's sort of echoing the same things my Libra has said
Posted by Twodrinkminimum
Posted by DMV
Im a venus in cap square pluto
so is my aunt. I feel like you guys have some tricks up your sleeves to get your way. Do you not feel like you could take control of the situation and spin it to your advantage? Or are you just not wanting to/not motivated to do that here?
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sure I could swoop in and get shit down my way, but i dont feel like it. Its never worked out in the long run.
trying something different.
I always wait for him to bring up sex or Facebook stalking. He opens the door and I walk through it.
Posted by brianafay
Posted by DMV
@Briana,What are you going to do? Ive been there with my leo ex. I remember the day I stopped having sex with him. I went down on him and noticed he shaved his hair off. He only does that when hes trying to impress someone. That someone wasnt me.
that was then beginning of the end. When the sex stops.
Oh I'm not going to do anything. I went off on a tangent (sorry)...but my point was before this I always would have said what you said...if the sex stops, I leave.
But I love him and even though it's a bit frustrating at times...I have to accept that it has little to do with me...and we do have something so much more special ...he's right... I may be putting a little too much importance on it. Maybe we don't really need to do it every day
click to expand
apology not necessary. Youre a wise woman.
Posted by brianafay
He's probably an under cover freak ...he has you fooled with all this modesty bullshit lol
W.O.R.D
Posted by DMV
Posted by Twodrinkminimum
Posted by DMV
Im a venus in cap square pluto
so is my aunt. I feel like you guys have some tricks up your sleeves to get your way. Do you not feel like you could take control of the situation and spin it to your advantage? Or are you just not wanting to/not motivated to do that here?
sure I could swoop in and get shit down my way, but i dont feel like it. Its never worked out in the long run.
trying something different.
I always wait for him to bring up sex or Facebook stalking. He opens the door and I walk through it.
click to expand
And don't you feel like there's a lot more to be said when someone does something purely because they want to rather than due to you manipulating/influencing the situation?
Posted by Sugarfoot
Posted by DMV
Beautiful disaster,no. No sex yet. Im taking his lead. But I do enjoy talking about it. He is indeed reserved in public. Doesnt sleep naked. But I told him that I was raised as a nudist and I dont wear clothes at home.. He replied that were going to have like 10 kids.
The built up anticipation is gonna make it so hot though.
click to expand
Yeah, its working. I just get figgety with the moon is in a water sign.
Posted by tiziani
Posted by Twodrinkminimum
Briana what does he do if you just try to rape him? lol.
That always ends badly, because then she goes "you're not in the mood. I want you to want it." -_-
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Hahaha
Pretty much.
I mean, he wouldn't turn me down most of the time (though he has said please let me go to bed, I have to be up, we'll finish this tomorrow) But I don't like being the one to initiate...I have a Leo moon lol
Posted by brianafay
Posted by DMV
Posted by Twodrinkminimum
Posted by DMV
Im a venus in cap square pluto
so is my aunt. I feel like you guys have some tricks up your sleeves to get your way. Do you not feel like you could take control of the situation and spin it to your advantage? Or are you just not wanting to/not motivated to do that here?
sure I could swoop in and get shit down my way, but i dont feel like it. Its never worked out in the long run.
trying something different.
I always wait for him to bring up sex or Facebook stalking. He opens the door and I walk through it.
And don't you feel like there's a lot more to be said when someone does something purely because they want to rather than due to you manipulating/influencing the situation?
click to expand
yeah. You see their true motivations. He spends time and $ $ cause he wants to and not cause he has 2. For a sag that big.
@Beautiful, i totally get where youre coming from when you say you morph to become what they want to get what you want.
totally.
its quicker than just waiting.
Exactly! That's why sometimes I think I don't even like getting "my way"
Anyone else? Or just me?
Posted by tiziani
Posted by Twodrinkminimum
Posted by tiziani
Posted by Twodrinkminimum
Briana what does he do if you just try to rape him? lol.
That always ends badly, because then she goes "you're not in the mood. I want you to want it." -_-
but I thought you had some virgo placements? And DJ said those placements need to be pried out of their shell to open them up? I'm paraphrasing...I don't remember exactly how he said it.
So, it's that you really don't have the drive to do it? Nothing another person could do could spark your desire?
It's mostly a drive thing, yes.
click to expand
You guys seem very prone to getting a bit lazy about a lot of things when you're comfortable.
Do you have cancer rising too? I wonder if that's where it comes from
Speaking of people not having enough sex...my neighbor across the street is out sawing shit in his driveway at 9:30pm
Posted by brianafay
Exactly! That's why sometimes I think I don't even like getting "my way"Anyone else? Or just me?
at work, I must and do get my own way. I mean those people are idiots.
I dont want to act like a female masculine sign. Embrace more of this north node in cancer. Be a bit more, follow the leader.
Im a cancer rising and I can get comfortable but moon in scorp creates drama. A nice balance.
Posted by tiziani
Posted by brianafay
Speaking of people not having enough sex...my neighbor across the street is out sawing shit in his driveway at 9:30pm
/dead
and yes I am a Cancer rising
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You're like the same person!
I'd say if it doesn't work out I'll just head your way, but you've already confirmed you don't have any better drive lol 😛
If we go 90 days, imma be so impressed.
And may it be the last 90 day dry spell
It's my wish for you, haha
Posted by tiziani
Posted by brianafay
Posted by tiziani
Posted by brianafay
Speaking of people not having enough sex...my neighbor across the street is out sawing shit in his driveway at 9:30pm
/dead
and yes I am a Cancer rising
You're like the same person!
I'd say if it doesn't work out I'll just head your way, but you've already confirmed you don't have any better drive lol 😛
😛
I never served in Iraq. They wouldn't let me in the Royal Navy. You're not eligible if you have any history of an auto-immune disease. So he's the better catch. There's always curry rice!
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That is so funny...and strange. I've heard of oysters and strawberries...but never curry rice
Posted by DMV
lets say, theyre not handicapped or near death. nothing like that.
...and they just stopped? I'd leave. Not immediately, especially if I loved the person, but eventually yeah.
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Last night, me and the sag were talking about sex and stuff and i said that I would leave someone if they stopped wanting to have sex with me. He was a bit shocked and asked me why. I said because if im having sex with someone and i fell in love with them, it would be hard for me to be around them and not be able to connect with them. Sex is one of the ways i connect with someone. Id feel rejected and cut off emotionally.
My moon is in scorpio, mars virgo venus cap.
How would you guys react? what are your moon, mars, venus.