fem_fem_fem
@fem_fem_fem
7 Years
Comments: 1 · Posts: 59 · Topics: 10
Marriage & Green Card
Posted by Black-Mamba
Because many people take advantage of others to get green cards/visas/access to America
you shouldn't take it personal
Nobody is JEALOUS of you its because they have heard stories of people who are in LOVE with people in their own home countries than marry another to get their papers, and once they do , leave them for the person they love
i have seen this happen to 2 of my cousins
It’s such a short answer to ALL shit OP had shared...you can do better than that girl!
Posted by fem_fem_femPosted by LittleStar
I’d totally marry my friend if I wasn’t married. Any gender.
But people always make gossip about shit because they like poking bubbles into peoples happiness. Until you see explicit behavior that matches him/her using you, it’s really just none of their damn business.
I feel exactly like you. In a year an a half I have never seen anything suspicious, so I don't even have 1 % thought that he is using me and if there's no suspicions and weirdness on his end, I just can't be sitting around worrying over something into the future that isn't there. When I see something, of course, I will be alert, but I just can't assume that he is using me if he isn't giving me any reason/behavior that he is. This is why I feel annoyed when people ask me tons of questions then make a suggestion that i might be getting used LOL I did notice that it comes more from men btw....like the other day I was with two guy friends, and both like me, so one suggested me to be careful like i might be getting used for green card, although that guy has been head over head for me for more than a year so why would he assume that my hubby don't like me/love me as a woman but that guy friend likes me. I think when people see that we are a good looking couple and are happy, their curiosity kicks in about whats going on in our marriage and then they try to put me down politely.click to expand
He would supposed to be extremely stupid to show you IF he wanted you for green card only.
You can test him by asking to send you money. I bet he will NEVER do that! And IF he will...keep asking for more...in case he is a fake you will have some dough to party with!
And yes! When you do something like bringing an import to this country - be ready to hear shit. You can’t stop people from talking. Unless you’ll tell them you aren’t married until hebis here.
BTW have you been over there?
Posted by nanobot
I'm sorry this is happening to you, and I feel confident to tell you that it is probably going to be worse when he actually moves here because people are bigots about interracial relationships out in the real world too, not just behind their computers. And not just in the South.
Given the issues that you stated in your OP and knowing the relationship between you and your husband's countries, and how his is portrayed in American media, is going to cause a lot of problems. I think this is something that you are going to have to learn how to deal with, and accept that it becomes a part of the relationship that you two have.
I think you can simply assert yourself in a calm but firm fashion, by saying "You know, your opinion on my relationship matters a lot less to me than you seem to think it does. I would appreciate if you would not weigh in on my relationship again. Thanks"
This is how you let them know you are pissed!!! They win!!!
I honestly wouldn't pay attention what anyone says. It's not always black & white. Post an update that states, anyone sticking their nose where it doesn't belong - will be deleted and or blocked, then watch what happens
Posted by nanobot
Random story, my second cousin married a Muslim man who lives in the UAE, and they have a very odd arrangement.
He just lives over there permanently and funnels ridiculous amounts of money to her in the USA. They build beach houses all over the country, have range rovers and Mercedes, beautiful things. She is spoiled and lives lavishly as a stay at home mom with their two daughters. Ofc I think he has an entire separate life with a wife(wives) over there, but it does not seem to bother her.
And tbh I don't think this arrangement sounds like a bad deal for either side.
The wife and the daughters will be sold at a much higher price. Seems like a perfect execution of plan to me.
There's a reason people are constantly telling you to be cautious. You've only known this guy for 1.5 years. People from overseas are extremely good at playing LONG waiting games for that American green card. Especially the ones who think they're good looking have this huge ego that they'll be able to twirl any American girl around their fingers. To them it's like one of the greatest life challenges they can score. You will never learn their true colors until they're here with you post green card. Unfortunately this day and age you can't be delusional to that truth. Also be warned Middle Eastern Muslim men love the idea of multiple wives. Don't be surprised if he ends up getting his green card through you only to leave you and bring over his Arabian princess because he promised her the world through any means. There's a reason people get nosy in this. Don't become a statistic. The smart ones play the long waiting games. You have to see things from their perspective. When you're growing up in a country full of so much turmoil, you will do WHATEVER it takes to eventually get out of there.
I was told the best way to test these people are to offer living in their country with them after marriage for sometime before coming to the states, if they say no or make any excuses for it, there's your answer.
Lol I just read the OP's post history. The guy seems like a total stud.
Some people need to learn things the hard way.
Posted by fem_fem_fem
My boyfriend whom I was going to marry in 2 weeks told me that up until 2010 he had around 400 sexual partners or even more than that. He said that he had a list that he kept writing their names down & their birthdays. He is 41 now & told me that he was like that until 2010 and that back in the days he even had up to 3 different women a day & he even told me that him & his friend would grab 2 women into their room into one bedroom & they would f** them at the same time (those chicks not themselves lol). Im not a virgin & far from it having 15 sexual partners myself at the age of 35, BUT I felt disturbed at his own # & felt grossed out & I cant get myself go to bed with him now. It's like something in me got turned off & we were planning to vacay in Europe & marry there by ourselves & I just called things off today and he is very upset. Was I right to feel disturbed with his fun days with that amount? I would think that women & men should have some self-respect when getting laid...some people just do it as a sport or to prove themselves something. Like he told me that once he woke up near such an ugly chick after a club that he ran into the kitchen & asked his bro to get rid of her saying that he left the house. He told me that he lost his virginity when he was 24 & his friends who had lost it at 16, would brag about their own sexual escapades and would laugh at him over his virginity, so he developed insecurity over the years & then when he was active at the age of 24, he decided he would get laid as many times as he can and he did until 2010. Am I right to feel this way? Looks like I will be vacay-ing in Europe alone now. I prefer men who do not run after each skirt and have some self-respect when dealing with women as it's the same as a woman sleeping around with every man she sees...no difference to me...both are gross. It looked like his sexual past was just a sport to him. I don't doubt him now, but something in me broke and I don't see myself going into bed with him now and I'm the type of woman who finds it hard to forget when shit happens 🙂 It's hard for me to get over things sometimes. The idea of me being a #450 (for example) makes me seem like another chick for him despite his words of love etc. I'm starting to doubt men nowadays.
Some people need to learn things the hard way.
Posted by SassyKiwi
Lol I just read the OP's post history. The guy seems like a total stud.Posted by fem_fem_fem
My boyfriend whom I was going to marry in 2 weeks told me that up until 2010 he had around 400 sexual partners or even more than that. He said that he had a list that he kept writing their names down & their birthdays. He is 41 now & told me that he was like that until 2010 and that back in the days he even had up to 3 different women a day & he even told me that him & his friend would grab 2 women into their room into one bedroom & they would f** them at the same time (those chicks not themselves lol). Im not a virgin & far from it having 15 sexual partners myself at the age of 35, BUT I felt disturbed at his own # & felt grossed out & I cant get myself go to bed with him now. It's like something in me got turned off & we were planning to vacay in Europe & marry there by ourselves & I just called things off today and he is very upset. Was I right to feel disturbed with his fun days with that amount? I would think that women & men should have some self-respect when getting laid...some people just do it as a sport or to prove themselves something. Like he told me that once he woke up near such an ugly chick after a club that he ran into the kitchen & asked his bro to get rid of her saying that he left the house. He told me that he lost his virginity when he was 24 & his friends who had lost it at 16, would brag about their own sexual escapades and would laugh at him over his virginity, so he developed insecurity over the years & then when he was active at the age of 24, he decided he would get laid as many times as he can and he did until 2010. Am I right to feel this way? Looks like I will be vacay-ing in Europe alone now. I prefer men who do not run after each skirt and have some self-respect when dealing with women as it's the same as a woman sleeping around with every man she sees...no difference to me...both are gross. It looked like his sexual past was just a sport to him. I don't doubt him now, but something in me broke and I don't see myself going into bed with him now and I'm the type of woman who finds it hard to forget when shit happens 🙂 It's hard for me to get over things sometimes. The idea of me being a #450 (for example) makes me seem like another chick for him despite his words of love etc. I'm starting to doubt men nowadays.
Some people need to learn things the hard way.click to expand
oh wow that's so creepy you did that not to mention disturbing to pull some old post that's not even related to this guy so you seem to enjoy jumping to conclusions and make statements based on erroneous assumptions of yours. Your behavior was very disturbing, to say the least, not to mention your cheap 'LOL' as if you made some important discovery there to use it against me here in my thread and put your 'LOL' as if to find this unrelated post from a long time ago amusing. Very, very disturbing behavior. Yayks!
Posted by fem_fem_femPosted by SassyKiwi
Lol I just read the OP's post history. The guy seems like a total stud.Posted by fem_fem_fem
My boyfriend whom I was going to marry in 2 weeks told me that up until 2010 he had around 400 sexual partners or even more than that. He said that he had a list that he kept writing their names down & their birthdays. He is 41 now & told me that he was like that until 2010 and that back in the days he even had up to 3 different women a day & he even told me that him & his friend would grab 2 women into their room into one bedroom & they would f** them at the same time (those chicks not themselves lol). Im not a virgin & far from it having 15 sexual partners myself at the age of 35, BUT I felt disturbed at his own # & felt grossed out & I cant get myself go to bed with him now. It's like something in me got turned off & we were planning to vacay in Europe & marry there by ourselves & I just called things off today and he is very upset. Was I right to feel disturbed with his fun days with that amount? I would think that women & men should have some self-respect when getting laid...some people just do it as a sport or to prove themselves something. Like he told me that once he woke up near such an ugly chick after a club that he ran into the kitchen & asked his bro to get rid of her saying that he left the house. He told me that he lost his virginity when he was 24 & his friends who had lost it at 16, would brag about their own sexual escapades and would laugh at him over his virginity, so he developed insecurity over the years & then when he was active at the age of 24, he decided he would get laid as many times as he can and he did until 2010. Am I right to feel this way? Looks like I will be vacay-ing in Europe alone now. I prefer men who do not run after each skirt and have some self-respect when dealing with women as it's the same as a woman sleeping around with every man she sees...no difference to me...both are gross. It looked like his sexual past was just a sport to him. I don't doubt him now, but something in me broke and I don't see myself going into bed with him now and I'm the type of woman who finds it hard to forget when shit happens 🙂 It's hard for me to get over things sometimes. The idea of me being a #450 (for example) makes me seem like another chick for him despite his words of love etc. I'm starting to doubt men nowadays.
Some people need to learn things the hard way.
oh wow that's so creepy you did that not to mention disturbing to pull some old post that's not even related to this guy so you seem to enjoy jumping to conclusions and make statements based on erroneous assumptions of yours. Your behavior was very disturbing, to say the least, not to mention your cheap 'LOL' as if you made some important discovery there to use it against me here in my thread and put your 'LOL' as if to find this unrelated post from a long time ago amusing. Very, very disturbing behavior. Yayks!click to expand
It's a public forum where it takes a minute to read through someone's post history unless you have reading issues. Honestly if this supposed other guy who is now your husband has anything more to offer than just looking like an eye candy then he should easily be able to prove that to shut anyone up about making an opinion about your situation. The only times I've seen people making judgements about possible green card marriage scams is when the foreigner really doesn't have much substantial going on for themselves.
Posted by SassyKiwiPosted by fem_fem_femPosted by SassyKiwi
Lol I just read the OP's post history. The guy seems like a total stud.Posted by fem_fem_fem
My boyfriend whom I was going to marry in 2 weeks told me that up until 2010 he had around 400 sexual partners or even more than that. He said that he had a list that he kept writing their names down & their birthdays. He is 41 now & told me that he was like that until 2010 and that back in the days he even had up to 3 different women a day & he even told me that him & his friend would grab 2 women into their room into one bedroom & they would f** them at the same time (those chicks not themselves lol). Im not a virgin & far from it having 15 sexual partners myself at the age of 35, BUT I felt disturbed at his own # & felt grossed out & I cant get myself go to bed with him now. It's like something in me got turned off & we were planning to vacay in Europe & marry there by ourselves & I just called things off today and he is very upset. Was I right to feel disturbed with his fun days with that amount? I would think that women & men should have some self-respect when getting laid...some people just do it as a sport or to prove themselves something. Like he told me that once he woke up near such an ugly chick after a club that he ran into the kitchen & asked his bro to get rid of her saying that he left the house. He told me that he lost his virginity when he was 24 & his friends who had lost it at 16, would brag about their own sexual escapades and would laugh at him over his virginity, so he developed insecurity over the years & then when he was active at the age of 24, he decided he would get laid as many times as he can and he did until 2010. Am I right to feel this way? Looks like I will be vacay-ing in Europe alone now. I prefer men who do not run after each skirt and have some self-respect when dealing with women as it's the same as a woman sleeping around with every man she sees...no difference to me...both are gross. It looked like his sexual past was just a sport to him. I don't doubt him now, but something in me broke and I don't see myself going into bed with him now and I'm the type of woman who finds it hard to forget when shit happens 🙂 It's hard for me to get over things sometimes. The idea of me being a #450 (for example) makes me seem like another chick for him despite his words of love etc. I'm starting to doubt men nowadays.
Some people need to learn things the hard way.
oh wow that's so creepy you did that not to mention disturbing to pull some old post that's not even related to this guy so you seem to enjoy jumping to conclusions and make statements based on erroneous assumptions of yours. Your behavior was very disturbing, to say the least, not to mention your cheap 'LOL' as if you made some important discovery there to use it against me here in my thread and put your 'LOL' as if to find this unrelated post from a long time ago amusing. Very, very disturbing behavior. Yayks!
It's a public forum where it takes a minute to read through someone's post history unless you have reading issues. Honestly if this supposed other guy who is now your husband has anything more to offer than just looking like an eye candy then he should easily be able to prove that to shut anyone up about making an opinion about your situation. The only times I've seen people making judgements about possible green card marriage scams is when the foreigner really doesn't have much substantial going on for themselves.click to expand
Well my husband always says that it's my fault that they are making such comments because im being weak and not able to put them in their place by saying that it's none of their business and that they should worry about their lives....my hubby is too direct at times but I can't say that to people as you can see. My hubby also says that the only way to prove them wrong is a lasting marriage with a child or more if we are lucky, then they will shut their mount and even be jealous of our great marriage...he just says that when people see us in life they will not longer bark and he even suggested that we should have such a great marriage and work on it form both sides as to make everyone jealous and prove them wrong.
sorry for the typos im typing fast from work )) not a grammar time for me.
Posted by fem_fem_femPosted by SassyKiwiPosted by fem_fem_femPosted by SassyKiwi
Lol I just read the OP's post history. The guy seems like a total stud.Posted by fem_fem_fem
My boyfriend whom I was going to marry in 2 weeks told me that up until 2010 he had around 400 sexual partners or even more than that. He said that he had a list that he kept writing their names down & their birthdays. He is 41 now & told me that he was like that until 2010 and that back in the days he even had up to 3 different women a day & he even told me that him & his friend would grab 2 women into their room into one bedroom & they would f** them at the same time (those chicks not themselves lol). Im not a virgin & far from it having 15 sexual partners myself at the age of 35, BUT I felt disturbed at his own # & felt grossed out & I cant get myself go to bed with him now. It's like something in me got turned off & we were planning to vacay in Europe & marry there by ourselves & I just called things off today and he is very upset. Was I right to feel disturbed with his fun days with that amount? I would think that women & men should have some self-respect when getting laid...some people just do it as a sport or to prove themselves something. Like he told me that once he woke up near such an ugly chick after a club that he ran into the kitchen & asked his bro to get rid of her saying that he left the house. He told me that he lost his virginity when he was 24 & his friends who had lost it at 16, would brag about their own sexual escapades and would laugh at him over his virginity, so he developed insecurity over the years & then when he was active at the age of 24, he decided he would get laid as many times as he can and he did until 2010. Am I right to feel this way? Looks like I will be vacay-ing in Europe alone now. I prefer men who do not run after each skirt and have some self-respect when dealing with women as it's the same as a woman sleeping around with every man she sees...no difference to me...both are gross. It looked like his sexual past was just a sport to him. I don't doubt him now, but something in me broke and I don't see myself going into bed with him now and I'm the type of woman who finds it hard to forget when shit happens 🙂 It's hard for me to get over things sometimes. The idea of me being a #450 (for example) makes me seem like another chick for him despite his words of love etc. I'm starting to doubt men nowadays.
Some people need to learn things the hard way.
oh wow that's so creepy you did that not to mention disturbing to pull some old post that's not even related to this guy so you seem to enjoy jumping to conclusions and make statements based on erroneous assumptions of yours. Your behavior was very disturbing, to say the least, not to mention your cheap 'LOL' as if you made some important discovery there to use it against me here in my thread and put your 'LOL' as if to find this unrelated post from a long time ago amusing. Very, very disturbing behavior. Yayks!
It's a public forum where it takes a minute to read through someone's post history unless you have reading issues. Honestly if this supposed other guy who is now your husband has anything more to offer than just looking like an eye candy then he should easily be able to prove that to shut anyone up about making an opinion about your situation. The only times I've seen people making judgements about possible green card marriage scams is when the foreigner really doesn't have much substantial going on for themselves.
Well my husband always says that it's my fault that they are making such comments because im being weak and not able to put them in their place by saying that it's none of their business and that they should worry about their lives....my hubby is too direct at times but I can't say that to people as you can see. My hubby also says that the only way to prove them wrong is a lasting marriage with a child or more if we are lucky, then they will shut their mount and even be jealous of our great marriage...he just says that when people see us in life they will not longer bark and he even suggested that we should have such a great marriage and work on it form both sides as to make everyone jealous and prove them wrong.click to expand
Okay... do you think it's healthy to have the mentality of striving to have a "great marriage" for the sake of making others jealous? Because it's not. A couple should strive to have a great marriage for the sake of only themselves. And why would you bring in children to make a certain point to others? That kind of mentality is not right... But it seems like you both have this big "show off to others" kind of mentality. A lasting marriage =/= great marriage. Your husband seems to only see big pictures in his head and not the small details that it requires to get there. So let me ask you, what are his plans after moving to the US? Will he have a job ready for him or will you be supporting him? Does he have any kind family/relatives here in America? Because if he does have a job ready here or some kind of plan, you could use that to your advantage when telling people about him instead of telling them to mind their own business. Because at this point people around you think you're doing all the heavy investing, he isn't.
Perhaps these people have a point? Who would have thought, eh!
How much of your 18 months have you actually been living together as a couple? LDR are tricky to really get to know someone buy hey, you're already married. There's not any back story to comment on.
I think differing religious, ethnic, cultural, country differences play a huge role in whether relationships are sustainable let alone successful. It would be really daft to discount all of this just because you look cute in a Facebook photo.
How much of your 18 months have you actually been living together as a couple? LDR are tricky to really get to know someone buy hey, you're already married. There's not any back story to comment on.
I think differing religious, ethnic, cultural, country differences play a huge role in whether relationships are sustainable let alone successful. It would be really daft to discount all of this just because you look cute in a Facebook photo.
this is none of my business. moving on.
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I feel exactly like you. In a year an a half I have never seen anything suspicious, so I don't even have 1 % thought that he is using me and if there's no suspicions and weirdness on his end, I just can't be sitting around worrying over something into the future that isn't there. When I see something, of course, I will be alert, but I just can't assume that he is using me if he isn't giving me any reason/behavior that he is. This is why I feel annoyed when people ask me tons of questions then make a suggestion that i might be getting used LOL I did notice that it comes more from men btw....like the other day I was with two guy friends, and both like me, so one suggested me to be careful like i might be getting used for green card, although that guy has been head over head for me for more than a year so why would he assume that my hubby don't like me/love me as a woman but that guy friend likes me. I think when people see that we are a good looking couple and are happy, their curiosity kicks in about whats going on in our marriage and then they try to put me down politely.