OK....

So your boyfriend cheats on you....what would u find to be the appropriate steps to be taken against thee?

I would take a revengeful strategy against him so I can salvage whatever little dignity I can scrape back so that when i look back in the future on the situation I can always say I got the upper hand.....

So i pretend I don't know I get all my shit sorted like a new place to live i can do this in about a weeks time.......I pack all my shit while hes at work and then confront him when he gets home and is tired and ready to over react and to get into a fight....then I go all crazy on his ass and smash all his shit....and then hell probably try and get abusive on me which is ok cos i can take a hit or two....plus its ok to tell my special hot ganster friends he did this and they come over and smash him and he thinks this guy is my new boyfirend.....hes in a huge mess he has to clean up and he goes to work hes all bloodied up and gets fired because hes not presntable....I know this doesnt kill him which it probably should have but it does leave him with a big life lesson which is NOT TO FUCK WITH ME!....

i really wouldnt do something like this although my first BF did burn me with a ciggie and I told my special friends and they asked me if they wanted to sort him out which I said no to but they cornered him in a club once when we broke up and made him cry....

but I'm just wondering what all u mother theresas out there would do and dont hold back on the juicy details

I was in this situation. I didn't do anything dramatic really. When he told me, all the color bled from my face and I dropped his hand and said "I'm so sorry for you. That you feel the children and I aren't more important to you then that." I iced over, a guillotine fell over my emotions. And I calmly turned on my heel, heart shattering, and went into the house, firmly closing the door. From then on out, replies have been courteous and cold. Regal. Cheating is unforgivable.
I calmly packed the remainder of his belongings, parked them on the porch for him to pick up.
So, my eternal gift to him from me, is the withdrawal of warmth, of feeling, never to be rekindled.

oh your good VB lol thats what mother theresa would have done..

but on a serious note I do think its true that its his loss that he turned his back on such a natural loving intelligent woman...even though I only know u on here u come off as that to me.....sexual aswell

I love how u added u got "his" things and put them on the porch

I always read that its hard to crack a hefer but then they do they crack big time....perhaps not with u?? maybe because of the kiddies.

*kissing either cheek* You described me, in a nutshell 11th. 🙂 My children were a driving force keeping me grounded, assuredly. I had to be strong for them, for myself. They were plenty old enough to know that not only was Dad leaving, but that he was leaving us for someone else. That was brutal for them, and I needed to shoulder both roles. Double up on the love for them. Keep schedules and so on going on as it did before. Children need routine. But also that is backed by my pride. Which is large as the outdoors. You do NOT trample me like that. Or I ruthlessly unplug. You become nothing to me, a bit of shit on my shoe to wipe off in the grass. But I didn't reduce everything to drama level, such as burning his things in effigy on the lawn, or shattering pieces from his grandparents. When it flipped like that, it was simply done. I wanted his things out of MY house. Not to look at, touch, remember. I just wanted them gone.
I am still human of course. I spent many nights licking my wounds. Dampening my dogs fur with my tears, gathering in so close to my parents, my loved ones. They helped keep me focused and strong. And the anger when it came. It was so welcome, it fueled everything. A catalyst, to take me from emotional puddle to roaring tiger.

I didnt realise how raw this would be :O totally unprepared I think i appreciate taureans alot more how they can endure and handle situations with grace for theyre babies lol

and for lovely scorp I think the second time is amazing and totally tops my fantasy of payback actually lol

but i guess ur right it doesnt make u feel good that u loose ur cool and it doesnt make u feel good that u dont stick up for urself the first time.....theres gotta be a better way of feeling good about yourself when someone cheats on u or perhaps I'm in fantasy mode lol

reding the last part of what u said VB about licking wounds at night and crying with ur dogs kinda struck with me lol.....my mum god bless her bought me a puppy when i broke up with my ex I never talked about it with anyone except on this site lol and I brought up my little buffy to be brave and fierce I love that little bitch!!

Thank you, I've forever appreciated Aqua, my mother and big girl are both this sign. 🙂 That was most wise of your mother, dogs are wonderful companions and never complain when you need a hug and cuddle. I love my boy, his name is Takoda. Sioux Indian for "friend to all". And he is indeed that, despite the shedding all over the house. 😉
And cheating plays HELLS on your self esteem, your pride, it throws everything you are into question. "Am I not ENOUGH?!" in all arenas. But you have to fight your way up out of that crap, look yourself spang in the eye in the mirror and know. Right down to the damned ground, KNOW that you are one rocking human being. Worth of laughter, love, life. And give a mighty proud middle finger, high up in the air, to the loser that didn't realize how damned wonderful every little bit of you was.

WorthY, blasted brain getting ahead of my fingers again.

^ lol...

So your boyfriend cheats on you....what would u find to be the appropriate steps to be taken against thee?

I would do exactly (and have done similar in earlier this year) as VB did as I always ensure my independence from any partner I'm in a relationship with. No joint accounts, etc (I have never being married though or co-habited either)

Honestly, I am not sure there will be any appropraite steps.
The main thing is dignity. Do you want any more physical and emotional hurt from this? I doubt it.
I would assess my part in causing this to happen though (I find cheating to be cowardly if you are telling your partner you want to be exclusive and you change your mind but don't tell them? What's up with that?), but 1st things first is to try to heal as soon as possible however you are comfortable doing... but remember you don't want any of the following due to someone else's stupidly, cowardly moves;

- no criminal records
- no getting physically hurt
- in fact, avoid any more negativity as there is already enough.

good luck!

learn ur lessons quickly moved on was one of my favourite affirmations........yes i read all my mums affirmation cards and they really do work! for a bit lol

i've been cheated on three times.

the first time, i cut him off. no questions asked. and i moved on with my life.
the second time, i found it harder to do what i did the first time. i felt much more betrayed. i ended things romantically, and initially limited communication to once a year. i still cared about him, for some reason. nowadays, we don't communicate at all.
the third time, the situation was a bit complicated. i broke up with him and was very vocal about how i felt about what he did. the phrases i used don't merit repeating. he was very persistent about keeping me in his life, though, and showed a lot of genuine remorse (in both words and actions). he began therapy to work on himself and his issues. not just the cheating, but many issues he was having in his life. he got tested for STDs. he completely cut off the "other woman". and he begged me repeatedly to give him another chance. generally, i believe in second chances. cheating was always an exception to that for me, because the saying goes, "once a cheater, always a cheater." usually if you take them back they'll do it again because they've learned they can get away with it. but this was one circumstance i couldn't have foreseen where i actually did agree to try things again. and to my knowledge, he never cheated on me again. but i could never fully remove the doubt, or trust him completely. kinda puts a damper on things.

I was only cheated on once, and it wasn't a serious relationship to begin with...
It was my first "boyfriend." We were 14, so really LOL whatever...but we had been friends for some time before our little mini relationship, so it did hurt my feelings at the time. Of course, now looking back on it I laugh because it was so petty and insignificant. & I'm thankful I've never had a serious boyfriend betray me.

The girl he "cheated" with was a mutual friend who took interest in him and made out with him behind my back. (GASP)
She harassed me for months after, calling my house, telling all my friends what happened, trying to convince me I should dump him because he's a scumbag.
SO since it was obvious she really wanted me to break up with him, because she wanted him or whatever? & I really hated her at this point. I refused to break up with him. He had come groveling back of course, like any 15 yr old boy would do and was totally giving her the cold shoulder because she's a sneaky conniving backstabbing slut. 🙂
I kept up the charade and tortured both of them for months after the incident until I started dating another boy. I let him down softly, don't worry. 😄




Oh, and ever since, I've taken much pride in watching that skank crash and burn.

Posted by venusianbull
I was in this situation. I didn't do anything dramatic really. When he told me, all the color bled from my face and I dropped his hand and said "I'm so sorry for you. That you feel the children and I aren't more important to you then that." I iced over, a guillotine fell over my emotions. And I calmly turned on my heel, heart shattering, and went into the house, firmly closing the door. From then on out, replies have been courteous and cold. Regal. Cheating is unforgivable.
I calmly packed the remainder of his belongings, parked them on the porch for him to pick up.
So, my eternal gift to him from me, is the withdrawal of warmth, of feeling, never to be rekindled.

^^ This is the best thing you can do with a cheating partner. Has hard as it is you have to stay firm in front of them after the fact.

I wasn't able to keep myself detached and cold and it made it worse for me. Cut them off and get away.

Absolutely LibraSid, absolutely. And at first it was quite hard to do, I'm not made of stone. But that one act, that one freaking act. It's such a betrayal of trust, and a mockery of everything a relationship stands for. I could not, would not allow it to return to me. If it was done once, it can be done again. And I refused to put myself, or the children through it.

Posted by LovelyScorp

Posted by brianafay




Oh, and ever since, I've taken much pride in watching that skank crash and burn.

Thank you for the giggle. Love that.

click to expand

its funny someone with a hello kitty display pic say all that..pmsl

your telling me my first boyfriend the one who burnt be was a cancerian ^^^

I never thought Id ever be subjest to an abusive relationship but i guess thats how it goes

Posted by The_eleventh_sign_11

Posted by LovelyScorp

Posted by brianafay




Oh, and ever since, I've taken much pride in watching that skank crash and burn.

Thank you for the giggle. Love that.

its funny someone with a hello kitty display pic say all that..pmsl

click to expand

Lol that's all part of my charm. 🙂

I adore karma Briana, bwahahahahhaaaa.

I think there's very good reason I've never seriously been cheated on...I'd lose my mo'fing mind on someone & they would probably have very little warning or time to get out of the way.
I'd more than likely react somewhat like LovelyScorp did the 2nd time. Except probably worse because I'm all fire and therefore a little crazy.

In a way I would kind of look at it as a civic duty...haha (starting to feel deranged.)
There's no way I could let him get away with it. Men like that are no different than children. If there's no real consequence to his action, he might do it again and hurt someone else who may or may not be absolutely devastated by something like that.
& honestly I doubt losing me would be enough consequence alone to make them think twice next time, because if I mattered all that much they would have never cheated.

Posted by venusianbull
I adore karma Briana, bwahahahahhaaaa.

Lol it's amazing. 🙂
Especially since I'm not really the vengeful type...it's always awesome when I get to watch them get it in the worse way, and I didn't even have to lift a finger.

Same here, he got what he had coming to him in spades. I just silently watched, like a spider in its web.

Posted by tragedienne
cancersunleomoon123

Listen good

I saved some womans heart.
What I did was 100% right, my ex explicitly told me that he will never cheat on anyone again after that.

I'm more like a walk away, head high, never let them see you burn type. Shut down, shut off, shut out. But in some fascinated, twisted way I admire tragedienne for this. Horrible of her, yes I know. Very cruel, very hurtful, very EDUCATIONAL.

Some people don't have the empathy gene and cannot actually put themselves in someone else's place. Those are the people who cannot see how WRONG something is... until it's done to them. Experience is a great teacher. He could not grasp the abstract idea of "How would you feel if someone cheated on you?"... but he quickly grasped the reality of it being done back to him.

So, tragendienne.. you frighten me, but you also make me smile LOL

Posted by beautifuln9tmare


andddd that's why she's visiting the clinic 😉

lmao

While I appreciate a gentle nature, you truly do not know what you'll do until you're in the thick of the situation. There's no forethought or planning. It hits you with all the subtlety of a freight train. So much hurt and emotion swirling around.

I may go to being angery Tate with all the cheating bitchs on these boards

I believe it LovelyScorp. 😢

Posted by LovelyScorp
I have to admit. On my second experience where I went psycho it did not feel good afterwards. Felt good during because it was all adreneline. In fact, on my way back to my place after my fit I pulled over and got physically sick in a bank parking lot. Let it all out, right there, in front of God and everyone around noon on a busy Friday workday. Felt like crap.

Nah. He'll think twice next time. 😉
You may have saved the next girl.