Sex before marriage

So you're religious. You follow a religion that tells you that sinning, lying, cheating, stealing, homosexuality, adultery, murdering, etc. is wrong.

Based on what your religion teaches you, you try living your life w/o being or doing any of those things

There are TONS of people like this

But yet when asked if they believe in "sex before marriage," they always say it's ok & that society/generations change the rules...rules you choose to adapt to

If you're gonna follow the bible, follow it ALL the way!

How is it right to want marriage b/c you feel it's the "right & spiritual thing to do" but yet you completely go off to have sex with your supposed "future husband/wife" BEFORE the marriage ceremony?!

When asked what they think about "gay marriage" they always cringe, claiming that homo marriage is NOT what God wants or approves of

When asked about whether or not they've ever cheated in a marriage, they've admitted to doing so (sometimes even justifying it). OR they claim adultery is the ultimate sin & something they would never do

That is SO backwards!

How can you have such "Godly" thoughts about marriage & yet do everything the bible tells you NOT to do?!

People use their "religion" when it's conveinant. They're such hypocrites

Since when does God care that our current society doesn't think sex before marriage is that big of a deal?!

If you're leaning on getting married b/c of a spiritual/religious belief, why not do things the WHOLE way the way God wants you to?

I just met a woman who claims:
*Homo sex is a sin
*Adultery is a sin
*Having kids out of wedlock is a sin
*Not getting married at all, but yet having sex or kids with someone is a sin

But yet she completely overlooks & ignores the fact that having sex BEFORE marriage is just as GREAT a sin as all the others!

Or the bride who says, "I want to get married in a church" b/c she's just oh so religious BUT YET has sex before her wedding. Are you freakin' religious or not?! Are you about what God wants or not?!

I get that some people are not virgins & can't change that even though they've now decided to become religious. BUT, you're NOT doing God any favors by marrying someone that you've already had sex with. Sure you pleased him by marrying the guy once & for all, BUT you've already messed up by sleeping with him before the marriage!

As exoskeleton said above. What I want to add is, perhaps we will never even have the strength to avoid it. And that's okay, because we are human and as much as we want to be perfect like Christ, we will never be able to.

I used to have a lot of personal struggle regarding being perfect, I always felt that I am unworthy because I cannot avoid sin. I asked for forgiveness, yet I continue to sin again. And again. At one point in my life I wanted to just leave all my faith altogether because, I felt that I couldn't live holy like a Christian supposed to be.

Later on I found out that it's just how it is. Being holy and Christlike is a goal that we will never able to reach in our life time. It is a journey and as we go along it, we become MORE Christlike, but we will never BE as holy as Christ. If we are to live a holy life without sin, then we wouldn't need Christ as a savior. People think that we as a Christian ought to have a sinless life, otherwise we're a hypocrite. IMHO though, we are NEVER able to live a sinless life, hence we become a Christian.

That's why salvation through Christ is called "gift by God's grace". Because we simply cannot earn it. It is given freely even though we don't deserve it. Still, it does not mean that we can say that we are a Christian yet we do a lot of bad things. I know people take the concept of salvation as a free gift for granted and just go on and do whatever they like. The true faith of these people are questionable, but only God knows their heart.

I agree with what you said. It IS a sin, and in God's eyes a sin no matter how small we think it is, is still a sin.

Umm the bible also says its okay to beat your wife.

And you're a fool if you don't have sex before marriage.

Religion was something created to segregate the masses.....and control the people..........The bible is just another book of stories from different people's points of views on what happened at that time......and a few physic readings here and there.......I would much rather just be a spiritual person then a religious one.....thats why they created a police state........to enforce the laws that were created thru religions, and just as the laws change, religion changes as well....evolution.....nothing is written in stone........except the ten commandments.......which is still being enforced by the law.....

Posted by exoskeleton

Posted by moneyliciouss
As exoskeleton said above. What I want to add is, perhaps we will never even have the strength to avoid it. And that's okay, because we are human and as much as we want to be perfect like Christ, we will never be able to.

I used to have a lot of personal struggle regarding being perfect, I always felt that I am unworthy because I cannot avoid sin. I asked for forgiveness, yet I continue to sin again. And again. At one point in my life I wanted to just leave all my faith altogether because, I felt that I couldn't live holy like a Christian supposed to be.

Later on I found out that it's just how it is. Being holy and Christlike is a goal that we will never able to reach in our life time. It is a journey and as we go along it, we become MORE Christlike, but we will never BE as holy as Christ. If we are to live a holy life without sin, then we wouldn't need Christ as a savior. People think that we as a Christian ought to have a sinless life, otherwise we're a hypocrite. IMHO though, we are NEVER able to live a sinless life, hence we become a Christian.

That's why salvation through Christ is called "gift by God's grace". Because we simply cannot earn it. It is given freely even though we don't deserve it. Still, it does not mean that we can say that we are a Christian yet we do a lot of bad things. I know people take the concept of salvation as a free gift for granted and just go on and do whatever they like. The true faith of these people are questionable, but only God knows their heart.

I agree with what you said. It IS a sin, and in God's eyes a sin no matter how small we think it is, is still a sin.

thank you for this. 🙂

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No problemo. I hope you will eventually figure things out. 🙂

Someone once said being a virgin in some ways shows signs of arrested development.

I think that is true in a sense.


It's something for " Grown ups " to do.


I mean understand there is a million reasons why someone may not want to have sex though.


But I thought that to be a interesting point.

Posted by starlover

Posted by CrabbyTwins
Religion was something created to segregate the masses.....and control the people..........The bible is just another book of stories from different people's points of views on what happened at that time......and a few physic readings here and there.......I would much rather just be a spiritual person then a religious one.....thats why they created a police state........to enforce the laws that were created thru religions, and just as the laws change, religion changes as well....evolution.....nothing is written in stone........except the ten commandments.......which is still being enforced by the law.....

Amen!


I have always been of the mind that spirituality is for the free thinking....it allows freewill, whereas religion dictates how we should think and live

In some respects religion takes away choice, individuality and can instill fear into people..God knows it has in the catholic church for years and years!

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Exactly!

Posted by Pisco26
But I do hate it when people have the nerve to judge you because you have "sinned" with premarital sex and then turn around and go suck some guy off or finger some chick because its not "sex". Dumbarses...

I'm a Christian for me & my God & not for others. I'm not talking about judgement b/w 1 human to another. I'm talking about people picking & choosing which religious morals they want to follow, as if God isn't gonna notice that they purposely chose to stick to 1 thing & yet completely ignore the other

I could care less if someone sins b/c hey, that's b/w them & their God, not me. But I do hate hypocrisy.

For example...the people who are so "holy" advocate that homosexuality is wrong BUT yet in God's eyes, you're just as wrong for having pre-marital sex.

Religion itself is not flawed & full of hypocrisy. It's the people who choose to follow the religion Mon-Tuesday & yet completely ignore it on the weekends that are flawed & mess it up

I think God knew ahead of time that resisting the urge to have sex was gonna be hard! Just like he knows that resisting the urge to not lie, cheat, steal, kill would be hard.

God is perfectly aware that sex is a hard temptation to resist. But just like with other sin, people pick & CHOOSE what they will/won't do. The same strength & faith in God that you have that stops you from stealing or killing is the SAME faith/strength to use to resist other temptations like sex.

So people need to stop acting like their powerless conveinantly when it comes to sex but yet not other sins.

But it doesn't matter. It's God's word & I find it insulting that people who are supposed Christians always bend the rules so it'll suit their own life style .

The point was that people absolutely DO have the power/ability to not have sex. If that wasn't true, there wouldn't be people who remain virgins until marriage.

The fact that some can do it proves that it's absolutely a CHOICE. It's a hard 1, no doubt but it can be done!

People just hate admitting that they're bending the rules to justify something they don't wanna stop doing. But saying a person "can't" do it is bull

Did you wait to get married?

Posted by exoskeleton
" we're all human, krys. don't act like you're above it.

lol I'm not above anything. I'm just discussing 1 another topic

Idk where people get the notion that God wants us to be perfect.

And it's expected that we'll all sin at some point in another, but actually justifying the sin & claiming to be powerless if bull.

I bet you'd be able to control your "urges" if someone you weren't even sexually attracted to wanted to have sex!

There's no getting around the fact that people make the DECISION to allow temptation to win. God never promised that being Christ-like would be easy

But if a person is gonna claim to not do other sins as if they're all for "God's rules" I find it pretty conveinant that that SAME person acts like sex before marriage is something that God somehow "let's slide" just b/c it's something "everybody's doing nowadays"

Yep. So Christian women who get beat by their husbands need to stop complaining, bc who the hell are they to pick and choose what laws in the Bible are still applicable today!

Posted by exoskeleton

Posted by MsPisces.
Did you wait to get married?

why did you avoid this question, krys?

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Yes I waited.

We were both fully aware that doing so would be hard & tempting, BUT I knew that neither of us would necessarily "die."

Isn't that what life is about? Proving to yourself that you can do what others consider the impossible?!

The difference b/w the rich & the poor is in what the poor WON'T do compared to what the rich WILL sacrifice & do.

The difference b/w those who make it to heaven isn't about whose perfect vs. whose not. The ones who go to heaven are the ones to make an effort (NOT make excuses) as much as possible to live their life as much like Christ wants them to as possible

It's not about judging anyone. It's about recognizing that if people can make the decision to have sex, they can also make the decision NOT to have sex. Either way, it's still a decision.

As with anything else in life, you CAN do whatever you put your mind to. Why is abstinence any different?!

If I told every person walking that they couldn't do something, they'd swear that they CAN do any/everything they put their mind to.

People stop doing drugs, stop cheating on others, stop killing, stop committing crimes, stop sabotaging their own happiness, stop sabotaging their own chances of getting to heaven, stop themselves from committing suicide, stop themselves from physically/emotionally harming someone (even themselves), etc. every single day WHEN they truly WANT to stop.

But so why would something such as sex, which is just as hard a temptation to resist as all the others, be treated any different?!

The argument isn't that sex is a hard temptation to resist. God put us here. He created us. I don't think God is naive or is a fool. He's perfectly aware that sex is a hard temptation, BUT it's no different than any other kind of temptation that people make the DECISION to walk away from.

And if you're gonna strive to be like Christ (which is why you'd classify yourself as a Christian anyway) so much so that you feel like getting married is the "Religious thing to do" then why not go all the way?!

How can you say that you wanna get married b/c it's what God wants, but then when told to stop having sex before marriage, people conveinantly ignore what God wants in THAT way too?

Point is, in God's eyes, no sin is greater than the other

But yet people pick & choose which sins they consider to be "worse" than the other.

People try to classify themselves as "Christians" but yet wanna make up their OWN rules when it's conveinant for them

Does it change things at all if my premarital sex is very religious? I mean come on, I do the missionary, I pray, clearly saying God's name very often, sometimes sounding like a broken record.....

Does that make it better? Because I gotta say.... I feel pretty good about it.

ive not read the whole thread but just wanted to add my 2 pence worth lol. i am not religous and never will believe in god so i just live by my own morals but will NEVER understand why people who really believe sex before marriage is a sin do it— if some scientist told me i will die if i had sex again then i would stop immediately!!! yes i would miss it but i would miss life more lol. so all the people who are devoutely religious who believe they must do as your god says if you want to go to heaven or whatever, why the hell cant you do it?? i will never understand!! people quit smoking/drinking when told it will kill them. monks dont have sex, nuns dont have sex, people who take their religion seriously DOT have sex before marriage! my mother didnt and my dad respected her beliefs and waited

This rule sucks.


Should be, "No sex before committed, loving relationship" instead.

Posted by bluebetty

I like the idea of living with your partner, and having sex with your partner before you get married. Sex is so important, chemistry is important, and growing together is important.

You don't know what you're doing your first time you have sex.

I 100% degree. But that's besides the point if you view sex/marriage in a religious way.

It doesn't make sense for a religious person to on 1 hand, wanna get married b/c it's the "religious" thing to do but yet not want to remain abstinent. If you're gonna try to do things the "religious" way then do it all the way, not half ass

The rules of the religion don't change just b/c someone thinks they're unrealistic or "too hard."

^completely agree, but people seem to try and justify rather then admit what they are doing is wrong. if you believe in the bible then sex before marriage is a sin and no amount of justification can change that. if you dont believe in god then screw away to your hearts content haha.