Don't touch/pull a black woman's hair!

I just read an interesting study.

67% of non-black males AND 48% of black males in the country said that they consider the fact that black women supposedly don't like having their hair pulled or even touched during sex, plays a big factor in their decision on whether or not to be attracted to black women in general and/or get intimate with them

They claimed that they feel a lack of intimacy simply b/c they can't pull our hair during sex & that being able to pull a woman's hair is very important in helping the 2 bond & make sex more enjoyable

I'm a black woman & I've worn weave before & when I had the weave in, I didn't want anyone (male or female) fishing around in my hair! It's just a rule

But hold up, women of other races wear weaving too, just as much!

I just think that's silly! I like my hair being pulled & I agree that it spices up the action, BUT I don't understand when men sit & pout all b/c they can't pull a woman's hair!

And let's not even get on the subject of how men in general feel about weave. Alot prefer the more "natural" look. I think that's bull too.

In today's society, it's RARE to find a woman whose truly "natural" meaning she has no weave in, doesn't wear make up, doesn't own a push up bra, colored contacts, or has never done anything to enhance her appearance!

So it's weird to me that men gawk over celebrities & regular hot chicks who are anything BUT natural (movies, pornos, clubs, etc) but yet claim to like "natural" women.

Even weirder, they hate weave but yet don't mind other fake enhancements.

If me wearing make up, push up bras & anything else that I wasn't born with doesn't bother you or affect your ability to want to be intimate with me, why would 1 more enhancement (hair weave) make a difference?

I mean is it really gonna kill you all b/c you can't pull my hair!?!

I bet guys who wear tupees completely understand the "Don't touch my hair" rule!

Posted by Reason

k, that may happen accidentally but hairless females aren't that attractive to me, lol

and don't even try to pull mine, lol, i'm not a sheep

LOL

lol, a little hair pull can feel good...just don't be dragging out my scalp, please. it's like, do you want sex or a wrestling match?? lol!

besides...if their gorilla grabbing pulls the weave out, just buy her a new one? endless brownie points!!

lol, it takes long enough getting it right in the mornings, don't be messing with my style ! 😉

unless dude has long hair himself, then it could be a tit for tat thing. pull mine, i'll pull yours!

Posted by SweetLibra
I had no idea men felt this strongly about pulling hair. I wear my hair 90% of the time and I have only had one boyfriend who wanted to pull my hair during sex. And it was just an every now and then type thing. I have never even heard any guys talk about wanting to pull hair and certainly not to the point that it was a make or break decision on whether they would date a girl or not. I do my own hair so if a guy wanted to run his fingers through my hair he could and I wouldn't care.

I think that's a case of wanting what they can't have...

I have long hair..not one person I've slept with ever wanted to pull it..even if I ask them too...but if I came off the bat saying "don't touch my hair" ever last brother you'd have thought it was fetish.

But yah, I could only imagine how awkward it'd be to have sex with someone and have your hair in the back of your mind...but at the same time, I think whoever thought to make that shit a study..should be knocked up the side of the head....really...you want to make a study to justify self hate and then make it out to be the woman's fault? ugh.

Who conducted this study? What was the sampling frame and size of the sample? Was it weighted to the population? What is the margin of error? What are the percentage of men who like to pull hair? Does the study mention any baseline figures indicating this is an issue for black women or women in general. Was the question loaded (e.g., "if a [black] woman did not want her hair pulled during sex.... ")?. I question the validity of the study...

I'm glad you're a African-American woman posting a study like this...because I was really about to go in. But anywho, I think the study is bullshit...African-American women has the best hair (you damn right I said it...now what)OUR hair grows & gravitates toward the sun which gives it more life. Most of us perm our hair which makes it limp, over-processed & causes damage to the hair (that is...when you don't take care of it) and the hair starts to break & fall out so what happens next? Most of us resort to weave and/or wigs. After all fails society wants to talk shit about it...I say fuck em'. Please, the shit was set up that way.

I don't ever see them creating studies about white girls getting tans, lips, ass, "weaves", now do we...FUCK these studies they are created to stir up bullshit among the African-American community...Seriously.

I'm not surprised they conducted this study

They've even done studies on how many adult swingers like dressing up as animals during orgies!!!

This topic was also brought up in the movie "Good Hair" by Chris Rock & when they showed the black males in the barbershop, damn near all of them said that not only were they turned off that they couldn't pull a black woman's hair but ALSO that this played a small role in why they dated white women! Wtf

I've worn weave before too & my reasoning for not wanting it pulled wasn't b/c I'm insecure. After all, anything that I spend $ $ on to get done shouldn't be tampered with!

Pulling on my weave would be like rubbing my nails after I just got them polished, or chewing on my new push-up bra. It's unnecessary!

If weave didn't come out if pulled, I'm sure alot of black women wouldn't care. BUT guess what, it does?!!

And I think it's insensitive for men to be offended that we don't want them to pull something that can easily go from long & silky to a huge fro if tampered with enough!!

And I know you guys have heard about black women & not swimming b/c of their weaves!!! I've got alot of friends who thinking swimming in weave is a huge no-no but hey, idk. When I wanna go swimming, I'll either wear my natural hair or just wear a weave that won't be damaged if wet (wet n wavy) ha!

That's like me getting mad at men b/c they hate it when I grab & pull their balls! Wtf.

If it makes the other uncomfortable, who am I to be turned off all b/c I couldn't do it?! Especially considering there are 50,000 OTHER things I could do to make sex more enjoyable

Imagine how my hair would look if I pulled it & yet went on a date! It'd be all over my head! Bet the guy wouldn't like the "pulled hair" look then! But yet ironically they don't seem to mind when they do the pulling & mess it up

Posted by exoskeleton

perception is (sometimes) stronger than reality. it's a fantasy and they know they're not likely to fuck or touch those women and see what's actually there. they are, however, likely to fuck and touch a woman in real life with cover-up dripping like dairy off her face and pieces of weave shedding from her head, lol. in that respect, i would want more natural women too.

LMAAAOOOOOOOOO.

Hilarious.

Yea, pull my hair and fuck it up if ur prepared to leave 100 bucks with me so I can call Tanika and get it done in the AM

OMG

Paris Hilton and Jessica Simpson BOTH have their own brand of "white girl weave" I hate this whole black girl fake hair IGNORANT BS .my best friend is black and has hair down to her AZZ and shes black.

Black hair is harder to manage. And thats it. It not wash condition dry then go its wash condition sit under a heater for another 45 minutes so that ur hair is moirturezed then wash it out again then dry it AGAIN then another hour or mre depending pn the style ...so after a 2 hour thing i dont want my hair messed up either. It costs too much and it takes up my whle saturday. ALL TO LOOK NICE FOR THESE ...UGH MEN

Posted by QueenCaLi

Yea, pull my hair and fuck it up if ur prepared to leave 100 bucks with me so I can call Tanika and get it done in the AM

OMG

LMAO

and i agree with the maintainance thing, afro hair has that contradiction where it's fragile (easily damaged), but also very strong. it's definitely a process, lol.

I've had braids before and mostly wear it relaxed.. I must TRULY be an urban legend. I dont care if my hair is pulled- relaxed or braids. I like it actually, as long as you're not trying to tear it out from the scalp.. lol

As fat as people touching it, i just dont like peoples dirty hands touching my hair, face, etc if I dont know where their hands have been. Just common courtesy...

Posted by shortii
As fat as people touching it, i just dont like peoples dirty hands touching my hair, face, etc if I dont know where their hands have been. Just common courtesy...

Well this line wouldn't work on the guy you were sleeping with considering you shouldn't be screwing him in the 1st place if you think his hygiene sucks! (i.e. dirty hands)

It's like, "Hey you can screw me & let your entire body mingle with mine, BUT don't touch my hair b/c your fingers are dirty?!!!" Hmm nope, that wouldn't work!

Lol I wonder how they conducted this "study". I couldn't care less about pulling on a girl's hair unless she was into that, and it definitely wouldn't make me search for alternatives just cause I couldn't do it with her.

they probably exaggerated the study. i would think it's more of a pet peeve than a deal breaker!

They conducted this study like they do all the others

I think there's alot of research done that would contradict alot of things that we automatically assume. Happens every day.

Some people are very serious when it comes to the bedroom. And some people absolutely will consider some of the most minor things as deal breakers. Of course it sounds silly to the people who don't consider them deal breakers, but the point was that surprisingly alot of people do consider them huge turn offs that indeed turn into deal breakers

Posted by LoveBucket
So, let me get this right -- it's *our* attitude AND our hair!! lol lol

Nobody did a survey yet on "sleeping with hair curlers and tying the hair at night in a scarf"?? Perhaps they're working on that one next!! 🙂

You'd think black men would love me because I don't sleep in curlers and, I don't tie it up at night.

However, where I lose the points is it ain't long and, it ain't straight but instead, similar to what Arnold in nimbue's avi is sporting -- all the way natural, with the exception of light brown hair colouring!! 🙂

Just proves that we're all screwed. Even the most self-proclaimed "natural" woman will get criticized for SOMETHING! Someone will find something about her to complain about. Women are damned if they do & damned if they don't

If we don't wear push up bras, they complain about saggy boobs. When we do wear them, they complain about how "unnatural" we are.

If we wear makeup, they complain & claim it's not natural. But when we don't wear makeup, they only seem to notice & complain about the wrinkles/blemishes...basically everything that comes with being "natural" persay

If we buy long weaves, they complain. If we wear our natural hair (especially if it's short) those same men who claim they prefer "natural" are seen chasing women with long weaves

Ugh

Im a black woman has never worn a weave. I like having my hair pulled and the feel of a mans hands running through my hair. I would be disappointed if a man DIDN'T do that!

I was dating a Taurus who, in the beginning, never touched my hair, assuming it was a weave. Once he realized it wasn't, he damn near did the happy dance! LOL! From that point on he kept touching it and playing with it.

I think the study is blown way out of proportion. It cant be THAT serious. BUT, I do think men in general like running their hands through a woman's hair. Its sexy.

Posted by nimbue
they probably exaggerated the study. i would think it's more of a pet peeve than a deal breaker!

I agree. Love your profile pic!

thanks! 🙂

I came in late and didn't read all the posts, so I hope I'm still somewhat on-topic. I'm a professional bodyworker and give clients head massages as part of the treatment. I learned very early on to NEVER, EVER, touch a black woman's hair without permission! A lot of black ladies actually show up wearing shower caps! LOL...it's a good idea. If you've spent a lot of time making your hair fabulous, you don't want someone coming along getting lotion in it and messing it up. I'm not black, but when I manage to get my long, curly, unruly hair under some sort of control, I don't want it messed with, either.

i pulled a girl hair while i was hittin it from the back 2 days ago.. she was black.

Posted by AybLynk
i pulled a girl hair while i was hittin it from the back 2 days ago.. she was black.

Did she like it?? Did she have a weave??

As far as push up bras... I hate them and I'm not even a man lol. The one's I particularly detest are the victoria secret miraculous push up bra. If you touch the padding those suckers are literally two boobs full. WEIRD. Not to mention the padding is hard. Unattractive. I think that's what disappoint many men. When a girl their dating is wearing wonderbra and looks like she has a nice rack then the get her naked and she goes from being a lush and full C to an A. Major false advertising. Women dress to impress other woman or themselves mostly anyways.

+1

Posted by exoskeleton
1) lol, i always imagined you to be a white, old lady.

2) i don't wear make-up, weave, push-up bras, colored contacts, fake nails, or any of that. though my hair is relaxed, i'm all —natural??. i had a fro in braids/cornrows until i was 11 or 12.

3) i don't like people touching my hair either, but i'm not going to stop a man from pulling and playing with it when he wants to. and yes, even if it sticks up all wonky, lol. i think when you're intimate with someone the last thing you should be doing is flinching and resisting when someone tries to touch your hair, you know? so i understand that they said it kind of jabs at the bond. maybe it's not exactly that they're not allowed to pull hair that bothers them, but that the resistance shows a woman is uncomfortable. whatever. dude can deal or he can't, right?

4) "So it's weird to me that men gawk over celebrities & regular hot chicks who are anything BUT natural (movies, pornos, clubs, etc) but yet claim to like "natural" women."

perception is (sometimes) stronger than reality. it's a fantasy and they know they're not likely to fuck or touch those women and see what's actually there. they are, however, likely to fuck and touch a woman in real life with cover-up dripping like dairy off her face and pieces of weave shedding from her head, lol. in that respect, i would want more natural women too.

Whoa. I don't know why I never thought you were Black lol. The OP too. Heehee.

I'm Black and I love when my guy grabs, pulls, or puts his hands in my hair. He'll even take it upon himself to take my hair down if it's in a ponytail. I just know to make sure getting it in is the last thing we do because my hair is tore up after!

Posted by LoveBucket
So, let me get this right -- it's *our* attitude AND our hair!! lol lol

Nobody did a survey yet on "sleeping with hair curlers and tying the hair at night in a scarf"?? Perhaps they're working on that one next!! 🙂

You'd think black men would love me because I don't sleep in curlers and, I don't tie it up at night.

However, where I lose the points is it ain't long and, it ain't straight but instead, similar to what Arnold in nimbue's avi is sporting -- all the way natural, with the exception of light brown hair colouring!! 🙂

*pumping my fist* Yeah girl!!

Posted by starlover
...and who was the lucky lady ? 😄

lol just someone. She's a Cap (not a captain, obviously)
And to answer your question: "hittin it from the back" means doggy style .
I dont like using the phrase "making love".. My life isnt a soap opera lml

Posted by lildol

Posted by AybLynk
i pulled a girl hair while i was hittin it from the back 2 days ago.. she was black.

Did she like it?? Did she have a weave??

click to expand

No weave. I never had sex with a weave-wearer.

Again, I'm sure guys who were tupees perfectly understand the "Don't touch my f'ing hair" theory!

Anything (cough: hair!) that can be damaged or made to look like a brillow pad if fondled should be left alone!

Men say they like grabbing a woman's hair during sex, but yet none of them seem to like that "brillow pad" or "missing hair pieces" look afterwards! They can't have it both ways dammit!

im black and love having my hair pulled, im also natural, no make up no padded bras no weave. the only time i was worried was a few years ago when ii dyed my hair twice and relaxed it the same day! i didnt tell the guy not to pull it but was pretty hard to enjoy myself when i was scared the bed was going to be full of my lovely coloured, straight but VERY weak hair!! haha. luckily there were only a few damaged ends that broke off lol.

Posted by Whimsy
I came in late and didn't read all the posts, so I hope I'm still somewhat on-topic. I'm a professional bodyworker and give clients head massages as part of the treatment. I learned very early on to NEVER, EVER, touch a black woman's hair without permission! A lot of black ladies actually show up wearing shower caps! LOL...it's a good idea. If you've spent a lot of time making your hair fabulous, you don't want someone coming along getting lotion in it and messing it up. I'm not black, but when I manage to get my long, curly, unruly hair under some sort of control, I don't want it messed with, either.

hahahaha...I love this entire post!