What would you do if...

No one (friends, family, loved ones, associates, enemies, co-workers, anybody!) supported your relationship?

*Assume your relationship in YOUR mind is a great one
*Also assume that no one in your partner's life supports the relationship either

Honestly, can a relationship survive LONG TERM if no one on the outside supports it?

Is the "Us against the world" mindset something you'd be willing to partake on just for the sake of keeping your relationship OR would you eventually start to suspect that perhaps you ARE in the wrong relationship since not 1 person who truly knows either of you, supports it?

On 1 hand, I get that the only people who oughta be happy about the relationship are the 2 people in it, BUT...

On the other hand, people underestimate the power of negative outside influences/lack of support & how it can ruin great relationships.

I think 1 of the big marks of a great relationship is when the friends/family of BOTH partners support the relationship moreso than not.

There's nothing like knowing that you AND everyone else you care about approves of the person you've picked & there's nothing worse than always having to defend yourself or isolate your relationship from others who hate it

^ This. And quite honestly they are not in my relationship, I am. I am past the point of needing anyone elses approval or depending on them to put the *good girl* stamp on my chart. My life, my happiness. Let them whisper. If they've nothing else to occupy their time perhaps they can pick up knitting or I can recommend a good book.

Good Moorning Blinger. 🙂 Ha, yes. And with a big ol' fat "toldjaso" for many years to come. 😛 🙂

LOL YEH! 😄

HAHAHAHA, get some 'o DIS. *slapping arse for good measure*

lol, i dont give a shit what my family thinks of someone i would love

me neither 😄 it's my life, i'll do what i want

😄

Im sure it can work.
to assume that without family and friends a relationship cant work is unfair to
those who were abandoned as children and never had a 'family' or a consistent group of friends.

But I think what the OP is saying is that if you have negative opinions from the people who love you about who you are with, can it work. I believe that it depends, like if you are getting physically abused and everyone is telling you to leave and you dont, well then people will distance themselves from you and eventually you'' wake up and leave.

But if its like an interracial issue or religious differences, then yes, it can work.
Its all about dropping all the silly labels we give one another. Because lets face it, the two people in love dont see the same labels everyone who may be against the union does see.

Posted by wgamador2
Because lets face it, the two people in love dont see the same labels everyone who may be against the union does see.

True.

To the person who said the circumstances in this thread are not realistic/possible...pst! I see it every day...women/men at odds with their family/friends all b/c no one likes/supports their partner.

I've been in this situation before when I was with my 1st love. Neither of our families supported it. We thought they were just "hating," trying to spoil our fun, blah blah but now looking back, they saw things that we didn't b/c we were too blinded by our emotions.

Thankfully though, my family wasn't beyond forceful in their opinions of him. His was though. It didn't ruin our relationship but it put a huge strain on it.

It sucks on holidays when you invite your partner to dinner & remember that damn, all your family is gonna be snickering & being negative.

It sucks when you're pregnant for the 1st time or going through something huge & not having that support simply b/c the person you're with.

I agree, it's possible for the relationship to work, but it WILL affect the relationship somehow.

it can work

Posted by ellybd
In my experience it often times pushes the people more into each other if most are against it. Which normally ends up bad.

This is true.

Same happens with teenagers when they're in "love." The more their parents are against it, the more the teenagers gravitate towards eachother.

The whole "Us against the world" mentality isn't healthy for relationships b/c it isolates both people from everyone in the same way an abuser likes to isolate it's victim from family/friends

While yes, it's your relationship & you're the only person whose happiness matters, I still don't think it's worth being with someone if I have to lose all my family/friends to be with them

Yep. ^^ Sticking their nose in where it doesn't belong. Areeee YOU living with me? Areeeee YOU in my bedroom every night? Thought not, so piss off.
Some people really have nothing better to do with their time than try to pull someone down to their misery level. Usually under the guise of caring or kindness. Planting little seeds of discord in their wake. *Holding nose* Phew!

It depends on if you partner cares what others think or if you do

nothing bonds people like a mutual enemy...

if you hate someone's bf/gf (with good reason) just be neutral about it, they'll see the light quicker. that's what i've noticed

Posted by Sagittarius89
It depends on if you partner cares what others think or if you do

true

Posted by starlover
Yep

ive never introduced my guy to anyone lol....that is why its so GOOD....just me and he..we aint never gonna live together or marry or do that normal stuff, so whats the point. the little time we have together is so special and very very intimate 😉

if your friends dont accept your man the dont accept you!

That is interesting you've found someone who is okay with that.

I've never been with anyone who felt okay with the fact I didn't want to introduce them to my family or friends.

I would say I would not care but that wouldn't be completely true. I would be really happy if people liked the woman I was with. The more the better. But that wouldn't mean I would stop being with her if no one did. As long as I know that this woman is a genuinely good person with a beautiful heart and makes my own flutter...and with wonderfully squishy boobs...nvm.

As Nights22 said its something to wonder though--why people dislike who you're with. It may be that they see something important that you don't.

If that were the case I would hope they would care enough to tell me.

But I'm sure I wouldn't end up with a bad egg.

Totally agree with nights22. Often time during relationship we are very much blinded by emotions that we fail to see the someone's true color.

With that being said, there are some cases that you need to stand up and hold your grown, knowing that it is the right thing to do. I think it is case-by-case thing, you need to find out first why they don't like your partner.

I have been in relationships that my parents disagree. Heck, I don't think they ever support any of my relationship. But when I take a deeper look at it, the root of the cause apparently was my parents' insecurity of me leaving and forgetting them. My dad wanted to 'shelter' me from all the bad things in the world, hence he never accepted any of my bf because he didn't think that they were as good as him. Of course, there is no such thing as perfect partners... and there is no such thing as perfectly secure life. There is always that chance that you will lose your job, etc etc. I DO have support from my friends though, which helped a lot. I honestly think it'd be such a lonely world when it's just me and him against everyone else...

Posted by Norcalman67

Posted by krysrenee7
To the person who said the circumstances in this thread are not realistic/possible...pst! I see it every day...women/men at odds with their family/friends all b/c no one likes/supports their partner.

I've been in this situation before when I was with my 1st love. Neither of our families supported it. We thought they were just "hating," trying to spoil our fun, blah blah but now looking back, they saw things that we didn't b/c we were too blinded by our emotions.

I agree, it's possible for the relationship to work, but it WILL affect the relationship somehow.

No. But you can't explain the power of this type of relationship to those who have not gone through similar.

click to expand

Very true. I've been through this before so I "get it."

Like mentioned above, it's easy to assume you'd walk high & mighty unbothered if none of the people who mattered to you like your relationship BUT when you're actually IN that situation/moment, it's different.

It's not about caring what others think of you or your partner. It's about the fact that when you marry someone, you also marry their family. And how you get along with someone your partner loves just as much as they love you DOES matter. And just like disufuction or drama b/w a child's parents can affect the child, the same goes for strong outside influences interering with a relationship.

Posted by Norcalman67

Posted by krysrenee7
To the person who said the circumstances in this thread are not realistic/possible...pst! I see it every day...women/men at odds with their family/friends all b/c no one likes/supports their partner.

I've been in this situation before when I was with my 1st love. Neither of our families supported it. We thought they were just "hating," trying to spoil our fun, blah blah but now looking back, they saw things that we didn't b/c we were too blinded by our emotions.

I agree, it's possible for the relationship to work, but it WILL affect the relationship somehow.

Can not say that in our relationship it was 'Us against the World', or that everyone (family and friends) were against us getting together. However,...parental disapproval was the causal factor. Parental disapproval caused our newly blossoming relationship to be put on hold for almost 25 years!

Will say, when we finally got back together,...the 'push back' from family and friends on both sides was substantial. Everyone had a comment.
- You guys are moving to fast!
- You can not really know him/her that well.
- Can't you two wait to get married for at least one year?.
- Are you nuts, it's too fast!
- What do you mean you're engaged, it's only been 12 weeks?
-Etc., etc.

Was there a 'Us against them mentality'? No. But you can't explain the power of this type of relationship to those who have not gone through similar. It truly was (and still is) Lost & Found Lovers to quote Nancy Kalish's book.

I will say:
All of our close friends who truly knew the two of us from, back in the day,...stated, "Finally, what took you two so long!"
Those that did not know us, or our history from back them,...did not, and (of course) could not understand.

We've been together ever since, come hell or high water.
Our motto: Never without you again.

click to expand

This is beautiful. Many years of happiness to you both.

Posted by Norcalman67

Posted by krysrenee7
To the person who said the circumstances in this thread are not realistic/possible...pst! I see it every day...women/men at odds with their family/friends all b/c no one likes/supports their partner.

I've been in this situation before when I was with my 1st love. Neither of our families supported it. We thought they were just "hating," trying to spoil our fun, blah blah but now looking back, they saw things that we didn't b/c we were too blinded by our emotions.

I agree, it's possible for the relationship to work, but it WILL affect the relationship somehow.

Can not say that in our relationship it was 'Us against the World', or that everyone (family and friends) were against us getting together. However,...parental disapproval was the causal factor. Parental disapproval caused our newly blossoming relationship to be put on hold for almost 25 years!

Will say, when we finally got back together,...the 'push back' from family and friends on both sides was substantial. Everyone had a comment.
- You guys are moving to fast!
- You can not really know him/her that well.
- Can't you two wait to get married for at least one year?.
- Are you nuts, it's too fast!
- What do you mean you're engaged, it's only been 12 weeks?
-Etc., etc.

Was there a 'Us against them mentality'? No. But you can't explain the power of this type of relationship to those who have not gone through similar. It truly was (and still is) Lost & Found Lovers to quote Nancy Kalish's book.

I will say:
All of our close friends who truly knew the two of us from, back in the day,...stated, "Finally, what took you two so long!"
Those that did not know us, or our history from back them,...did not, and (of course) could not understand.

We've been together ever since, come hell or high water.
Our motto: Never without you again.

click to expand

This is one of the sweetest things I have ever read and gives me hope for my situation... XOXOXO

Thank you for encouraging me.

Well, I have been with my bf for 4 years now and NO ONE has supported our relationship......Time has made everyone finally except us.....but we made it through and we are still devoted to each other....Good Luck!

Family is way more important to me than a man/relationship. Seems I'm the odd person out in this thread, I'd probably not date someone that couldn't fit into my family unit...

It also depends on when the family/friends stop liking your partner.

If they never liked him/her from the beginning, I could see how the relationship wouldn't necessarily be affected. After all, it's alot harder to break things off in the beginning before all the feelings are attached, & if a couple doesn't in the beginning, why would anything change when they notice their haters later on?

But if a couple had support from everyone in the beginning only to end up in family/friend drama during the middle of the relationship when it wasn't expected, it'd make more sense to assume that the relationship could easily take a hit b/c of it.