I am a scorpio and my boyfriend is a pisces. I need some unbiased advice because I feel ashamed or disloyal to our situation if I talk about it with people that know me. My pisces boyfriend and I have been dating for only about 2 years now. Prior to me he was a virgin. I noticed he has a lot of girl friends but have met very few of them. I found some emails telling girls "he could never go that far and cheat on my girlfriend. I honestly just wanted to hang out, maybe make out"....which to me is quite the mixed signal, and to me making out is cheating.. and there are more overly friendly emails from different girls... i dont think he has gone all the way, but it still really hurts... I haven't said anything about those emails. I struggle with it daily.
Another time I found some emails from guys...apparently he had put an ad on craigslist. Something about being curious about other males. wanting to give oral sex. I was DEVASTATED. I ordered a round of tests and bloodwork because aside from the emotional damage, I was worried about my health. When he came that day I was visibly ill over it. I told him. He told me he was very sorry I found those things and he could only imagine how horrible I felt. He assured me that he hadnt met any of those guys and that it was him just acting on thoughts.. and he shouldn't have been on there stringing those guys along. He then confessed to some inappropriate sexual activities that he was exposed to by another male when he was younger, and assumed that psychologicaly, thats why he had those thoughts.. It took some time, but I have been trying to be fair about that whole situation...Im not going to lie though, this has done a number on my trust (which is a whole other situation)
Another variable in the whole equation is that we are long distance.. but he is moving in with me in a week. This has been something we have been planning for over a year. So its something we have both been excited about, equally. The lease is signed the money is paid..
I wonder too if maybe some of this is his attempt at some r rated romp before he completely commits. To boost his self esteem or fill some insecurity.
I am an openminded and fogiving person. I realize that no one is perfect and neither is any relationship. I really love this guy. I want to take the good with the bad, but its just so hard and rather unhealthy to box up my emotions this way, and I was hoping maybe someone could offer some advice, help, etc...
I had an Aries bf that acted fairly similar... like he never cheated (but he would do stuff with many other girls whenever we took breaks from each other), but he told me that he thinks about having sex with other girls, watches porn regularly, and he too also made me guess his sexual orientation by the way he was with other guys. In the end, it was too much for me to handle. I tried to deal with it and help him through whatever issues he was going through, but being a Scorpio... I just couldn't handle my own jealousy and feeling as if I was somehow inadequate. I was never the problem and neither are you.
I would put the brakes on moving in together until the trust is re-established.
Do you really want to live with someone that you don't trust who was actively looking for people to cheat on you with???
If he loves you then he'll be willing to do whatever needs to be done to be faithful and build the trust back up. That includes counselling, stopping flirting and making out with other people, and taking the time to do those things before he's living in your space.